Author Topic: Laughable News (Read 125884 times) Tweet Share

Ambient Sheep · « **Reply #3300 on:** December 24, 2009, 05:28:44 pm »

[noembed]BBC News - US military tracks Santa's Christmas Eve journey[/noembed]

Over the years I'd vaguely heard about the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) tracking Santa on Christmas Eve, but hadn't come across the reason they do so, nor how they manage to do so, before now. The answers may surprise you!

Santa's Boyfriend · « **Reply #3301 on:** December 24, 2009, 11:59:16 pm »

Quote

The system works, according to Norad, because Rudolph the reindeer's famous nose gives off an infrared signature similar to a missile launch.

Presumably this is why no presents were delivered for three years after the Cuban Missile Crisis.

biggytitbo · « **Reply #3302 on:** December 25, 2009, 08:21:27 am »

Woman decks pope!
BBC News - Woman knocks Pope down at Christmas Mass

Quote

The woman, said to be mentally unstable, managed to grab him by his vestments

Sounds nasty

Suttonpubcrawl · « **Reply #3303 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:24:23 am »

Think I just caught Maxine Mawhinney on the BBC News channel talking about the Old Burstow and West Kent Hunt and making exactly the same mistake as Nicky Campbell, calling it the "West Kunt". Can anyone confirm this?

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3304 on:** December 26, 2009, 11:49:42 pm »

Amazing headline on the front page of today's Mirror:

Quote

POPE'S MASS BRAWL

Blumf · « **Reply #3305 on:** December 28, 2009, 06:58:23 pm »

One for the "Ha-ha, wait, it's real!?" folder:
(excuse the big image, but it's an awkward scan from the NY Times archive)

Source here

ThickAndCreamy · « **Reply #3306 on:** December 28, 2009, 07:14:45 pm »

That's fantastically odd, and what a great picture that creates in my mind.

chand · « **Reply #3307 on:** December 29, 2009, 01:02:11 pm »

Enjoyed this BBC News Twitter summary of an article about Iran:

bbcnews Britain has been given a warning that it may receive "a punch on the mouth" if it does not "stop the nonsense" .. http://bit.ly/4Z8Qys

Hobes · « **Reply #3308 on:** December 30, 2009, 01:03:33 pm »

Quote from: ThickAndCreamy on December 28, 2009, 07:14:45 pm

That's fantastically odd, and what a great picture that creates in my mind.

The use of to-night rather than tonite as late as 1912 was interesting. I can't take in the desregard for the lives of the 'several hundred negroes'.

Serge · « **Reply #3309 on:** December 30, 2009, 10:53:57 pm »

Prepare yourselves, everyone - Britain's oldest duck has died.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8434907.stm#id8170000/8175600/8175662

surreal · « **Reply #3310 on:** December 31, 2009, 10:53:37 am »

Lonely Planet names Wolverhampton as the 5th Worst City on the planet:

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/ghana/travel-tips-and-articles/42/9782

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1239478/Wolverhampton-named-fifth-WORST-city-planet.html

glitch · « **Reply #3311 on:** December 31, 2009, 10:54:15 am »

Quote from: Serge on December 30, 2009, 10:53:57 pm

Prepare yourselves, everyone - Britain's oldest duck has died.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/8434907.stm#id8170000/8175600/8175662

Laugahable? That's tragic. She liked tea and toast too. Godspeed, Edwina.

sirhenry · « **Reply #3312 on:** December 31, 2009, 01:16:31 pm »

On the BBC news site, their 'Films of 2010' says that this year will have a film of C.S.Lewis' Alice in Wonderland. One to avoid, I would have thought.

Jemble Fred · « **Reply #3313 on:** December 31, 2009, 01:21:25 pm »

Quote from: sirhenry on December 31, 2009, 01:16:31 pm

On the BBC news site, their 'Films of 2010' says that this year will have a film of C.S.Lewis' Alice in Wonderland. One to avoid, I would have thought.

Quote

`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'

And that's a bit like our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ really, isn't it?

Blumf · « **Reply #3314 on:** December 31, 2009, 02:07:07 pm »

Quote from: surreal on December 31, 2009, 10:53:37 am

Lonely Planet names Wolverhampton as the 5th Worst City on the planet:

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/ghana/travel-tips-and-articles/42/9782

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1239478/Wolverhampton-named-fifth-WORST-city-planet.html

Oh come on! Birmingham's right next door. Wolverhampton is lovely compared to the unrelenting shitness that is Brum.

I'd sooner visit Hull than Birmingham.

rudi · « **Reply #3315 on:** December 31, 2009, 02:23:39 pm »

Ooh that's rather unfair. There are parts of Birmingham that are lovely.

Blumf · « **Reply #3316 on:** December 31, 2009, 03:34:32 pm »

Northbound on the A38(M) is okay, I suppose, or west on the Hagley Road.

boxofslice · « **Reply #3317 on:** December 31, 2009, 03:53:32 pm »

Would've put Hull above Wolverhampton. I once spent four days there and it was, without hesitation, the most miserable time I've spent in my life thus far and that includes the 6 hours stuck in Luton.

dr beat · « **Reply #3318 on:** December 31, 2009, 04:15:11 pm »

60 foot penis painted on roof:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat/newsid_7961000/7961224.stm

Old Thrashbarg · « **Reply #3319 on:** December 31, 2009, 05:18:42 pm »

I really don't understand the dislike for Hull that many seem to have. Having lived here for 22 years, I can't see what there is that makes it worse than most other cities in the country. Like all, it has its good areas and bad areas. Maybe I'm just lucky, having only lived in pretty good areas and not often having had cause to visit the less good.

boxofslice · « **Reply #3320 on:** December 31, 2009, 05:45:26 pm »

Van Morrison not dad after all.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8436535.stm

Serge · « **Reply #3321 on:** December 31, 2009, 08:26:25 pm »

Drunk chooses inadvisable way to travel to next bar:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8435356.stm

An tSaoi · « **Reply #3322 on:** December 31, 2009, 09:05:59 pm »

Don't neglect the fantastic mugshot:

Artemis · « **Reply #3323 on:** January 05, 2010, 10:43:31 am »

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8439495.stm

Quote from: BBC News

Dating and social network site BeautifulPeople.com has axed some 5,000 members following complaints that they had gained weight.

"Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model"

An tSaoi · « **Reply #3324 on:** January 05, 2010, 05:42:50 pm »

Mr Bean stands in for President of Spain

Quote from: The Telegraph

A hacker briefly hijacked Spain's official website for its presidency of the European Union, inserting a large smiling picture of Mr Bean, an official said on Monday.

The supposed resemblance of the bumbling slapstick character played by Rowan Atkinson, the British actor, to Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, Spain's Socialist prime minister, has been a running joke in Spain for years.

An official at Mr Zapatero's office confirmed a security breach had affected the page specially set up to mark Spain's 6-month presidency of the EU , but added that no information at the site had been affected.

Newspaper El Mundo published a screenshot of Mr Bean's appearance on the official webpage, adding that the character had greeted visitors to the Spanish government site with a cheerful "Hi there!"

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3325 on:** January 05, 2010, 11:57:30 pm »

Owner Of World's Largest Penis Looking For Work In All The Wrong Places

ie, HBO:

video

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3326 on:** January 06, 2010, 01:08:25 am »

Either Yahoo or The Guardian consider the snow to be evidence of primate change:

Pseudopath · « **Reply #3327 on:** January 06, 2010, 01:33:12 am »

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 06, 2010, 01:08:25 am

Either Yahoo or The Guardian consider the snow to be evidence of primate change:

Did you actually read the article? The 'primate' bit was about some baboons at Knowsley Safari Park trying to keep warm with hot potatoes. Here they are:

Shit pun though.

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3328 on:** January 06, 2010, 01:37:00 am »

Oops, think I somehow brought the wrong story up, I would have remembered that photo!

hpmons · « **Reply #3329 on:** January 06, 2010, 12:41:08 pm »

Pi calculated to 'record number' of digits
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8442255.stm

Quote

"I am not especially interested in the digits of pi," he said.