Author Topic: Laughable News (Read 125884 times) Tweet Share

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3360 on:** January 11, 2010, 03:15:54 pm »

The Daily Mail have printed a smashtacular if not entirely convincing guide to "Teenspeak":

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1242056/Teenspeak-youngsters-unemployable-limited-vocabulary.html

boxofslice · « **Reply #3361 on:** January 12, 2010, 01:36:21 am »

Sarah Palin joins Fox News

Quote

Mrs Palin said in a statement on the network's website. "It's wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news."

An tSaoi · « **Reply #3362 on:** January 12, 2010, 01:41:20 am »

I'm not sure which is more laughable, that Palin would find employment in any field, or that quote.

Artemis · « **Reply #3363 on:** January 12, 2010, 09:34:56 am »

Haha, from the level of delusion contained in that quote, she'll fit right in.

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3364 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:36:25 pm »

Authorities try to recover a car from water, it all goes a bit Homer Simpson

James "End-To-End" Benton · « **Reply #3365 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:50:13 pm »

^ Well, near enough

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3366 on:** January 12, 2010, 05:53:43 pm »

That was from David Schneider's Twatter, with "I hope this is real, and that nobody got hurt. But mostly that it's real". Good that nobody got hurt, I suppose *sigh*

James "End-To-End" Benton · « **Reply #3367 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:05:00 pm »

No hard feelings bro

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3368 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:12:42 pm »

Understood, but I really wanted it to be real!

Captain Crunch · « **Reply #3369 on:** January 13, 2010, 11:15:14 am »

Stop press!

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/story.aspx?brand=EADOnline&category=News&tBrand=EADOnline&tCategory=News&itemid=IPED16%20Nov%202009%2017%3A35%3A38%3A420

AsparagusTrevor · « **Reply #3370 on:** January 13, 2010, 04:02:01 pm »

They're right about it being a rubbish bin fire.

biggytitbo · « **Reply #3371 on:** January 13, 2010, 04:13:27 pm »

If the second paragraph isn't someone taking the piss then that's the best news story I've ever read.

Artemis · « **Reply #3372 on:** January 13, 2010, 04:54:40 pm »

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 12, 2010, 05:53:43 pm

That was from David Schneider's Twatter, with "I hope this is real, and that nobody got hurt. But mostly that it's real". Good that nobody got hurt, I suppose *sigh*

Schneider's twitter feed is one of the very few worth subscribing to. He did one the other day that made me laugh out loud. Something like "I'm not saying that CBB is a home for fading stars, but the next housemate they're putting in his swine flu". Hehe.

HappyTree · « **Reply #3373 on:** January 13, 2010, 07:13:45 pm »

Barry from Watford aka Alex Lowe is also a good follow to fellow. His jokes can get rather close to the bone.

https://twitter.com/barryfromwat

I spotted Alex Lowe in an episode of The Thick of It yesterday.

Jemble Fred · « **Reply #3374 on:** January 15, 2010, 09:32:16 am »

The Messiah is coming – LOOK BUSY.

http://www.ethiopianreview.com/news/11660

mr. nice guy · « **Reply #3375 on:** January 15, 2010, 01:23:54 pm »

Edit: gone

Ambient Sheep · « **Reply #3376 on:** January 15, 2010, 03:42:03 pm »

Quote from: Jemble Fred on January 15, 2010, 09:32:16 am

The Messiah is coming – LOOK BUSY.

http://www.ethiopianreview.com/news/11660

Quote

"Furthermore there is not a word of the TRINTY in either the Old or the New Testaments...I promise $1 million to anyone who can point to a single use of the word TRINITY in the BIBLE."

He's right about that, though.

rudi · « **Reply #3377 on:** January 15, 2010, 05:47:46 pm »

There's no mention of the word BICYCLE in the bible either. Think on...

rudi · « **Reply #3378 on:** January 18, 2010, 01:43:00 am »

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/17/islamic-solidarity-games-cancelled

Unity games called off due to lack of, erm, unity...

Jemble Fred · « **Reply #3379 on:** January 18, 2010, 08:40:47 am »

Everyone's heard this story, but just reflect: this marks the creation of absolutely extortionately luxurious shit being flushed down the bog.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100117/tod-gourmets-pig-out-on-world-s-costlies-870a197.html

Blumf · « **Reply #3380 on:** January 19, 2010, 11:36:33 am »

Praise the Lord and pass the ~~ammunition~~ gun sights!

http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=9575794

Quote

Coded references to New Testament Bible passages about Jesus Christ are inscribed on high-powered rifle sights provided to the United States military by a Michigan company
...
One of the citations on the gun sights, 2COR4:6, is an apparent reference to Second Corinthians 4:6 of the New Testament, which reads: "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
...
"It allows the Mujahedeen, the Taliban, al Qaeda and the insurrectionists and jihadists to claim they're being shot by Jesus rifles,"
...
commanders have referred to weapons with the sights as "spiritually transformed firearm(s) of Jesus Christ."

US Mil. looses points for not having a holy hand grenade.

thecuriousorange · « **Reply #3381 on:** January 19, 2010, 03:43:24 pm »

Avatar claims its first victim.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/man-died-after-watching-avatar/story-e6frf7l6-1225821333043

I love how its described as the first death linked to the film, as if more are expected to follow.

Blue Jam · « **Reply #3382 on:** January 19, 2010, 06:05:10 pm »

Not really laughable, but that's a lovely Father Ted reference in the photo caption.

An tSaoi · « **Reply #3383 on:** January 20, 2010, 02:37:22 pm »

Again, not exactly laughable (lol murder), but I like the irony of the frontpage promotion:

Ambient Sheep · « **Reply #3384 on:** January 21, 2010, 06:46:31 pm »

Thieves nick two TVs from Argos and try to use the taxi they came in as a getaway car...

Quote

Unfortunately for the robbers, their unwilling partner in the crime told them: “Are you having a laugh?”

Santa's Boyfriend · « **Reply #3385 on:** January 21, 2010, 11:14:03 pm »

"I ain't goin' sahf of the river at this time o' night," said the cab driver, before eating a jellied eel and singing Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner.

Serge · « **Reply #3386 on:** January 21, 2010, 11:48:46 pm »

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 19, 2010, 06:05:10 pm

Not really laughable, but that's a lovely Father Ted reference in the photo caption.

Which reminds me of this recent Fall-inspired photo caption. Someone with a sense of humour working in the Beeb News Captioning Dept, obviously!

The Widow of Brid · « **Reply #3387 on:** January 22, 2010, 12:58:07 am »

Quote from: Serge on January 21, 2010, 11:48:46 pm

Which reminds me of this recent Fall-inspired photo caption. Someone with a sense of humour working in the Beeb News Captioning Dept, obviously!

The magazine section of the BBC news site is always worth a look for the frequency with which the photo captions are actively taking the piss out of the terrible article they accompany.

Neil · « **Reply #3388 on:** January 22, 2010, 01:30:40 am »

Well, this needs locked for size, but I'm afraid I'm going to ask that a new iteration is not started at this time. I'm aware people get upset when I make these changes, but I am getting a clearer view of where I want the forums to go - and am still learning constantly about how best to handle them, as they've not stopped growing over the last ten years.

So let's try having some new threads in GB instead, I believe people starting threads for e.g. the teenspeak article above could be more fun if it had its own space for ideas to develop. I think that it'll help balance out the threads started about serious news issues, which would be great, and I think it'll add an added sense of topicality and zeitgest to GB that has been missing ever since telly shows had to be moved to PB in the name of much-needed expansion.

I know some people value little corners they can return to like this, but I have to think more about the wider impact on forum dynamics. Plus, I want a board where you log on, and see new threads to engage with every day.

I think there's a bit of restructuring needed with the sub-forums, too, possibly room for a new one, or maybe some rejigging which will allow deeper discussion of videogames and movies in particular. We can't continue to confine these to single threads, and the odd spin-off.

Another (major) change is the way I'm moderating, and I'll post an announcement and updated rules thread in time. I simply won't be dealing with 99% of moderation issues publically anymore, I just can't continue in that manner. It didn't work, for anyone. So, if you have any comments about this, or anything else, feel free to PM me :-) Please try and tolerate change you dislike in the short-term, because I'm simply very intent on improving what is already a damn good community. Ten years on March the 20th!