Omegle Adventures

[Artemis]

I've just discovered this site - it's at once the most brilliant and the most futile thing I've ever discovered. You go to the site, then you're connected with someone to chat to. Could be anyone; you're called 'you', they're called 'stranger'. It's a goldmine of weird and wonderful conversation. Shall we see what conversations we manage to extract from this beast?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: sup
You: 'nuttin
You: you?
Stranger: chillin
Stranger: listenin to music
You: hell yeah
You: I'm listening to some Enya
Stranger: im listenin to d.r.u.g.s. haha
You: haha, that's great. I have to be on d.r.u.g.s. to enjoy this bitch
Stranger: hah
You: double hah - so what's goin' down with your damn self?
You: ANSWER ME
You: I'm sorry - that's Enya - she drives me up the wall
You: that and the d.r.u.g.s.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I'm quite fond of it too, especially if you find someone who just wants to have a random but quirky chat. Recently I was talking to someone with exactly the same sense of humour and we just had a ridiculously silly conversation for about half an hour, rarely making any sense but genuinely making the other person laugh. In the end he posted his email address as he'd enjoyed it so much. Bless.

There's an old thread here about it with lots of gems in it: http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=20609.0

[Smeraldina Rima]

I met someone else from Hull last time around!

Since then I got sick of the perverts and have started having conversations at public urinals. A lot of people will balk at this I'm sure, but you find people in a funny frame of mind. Also you have to be brief. Urinals are really the Omegle of the Twitter age.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Omegle now has a "spy mode" where you can suggest a question and 2 random strangers are chosen to discuss the question.  After a few that never got started I had this happen...

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
Did Batman & Robin get it on in the batcave?

Stranger 1: Naw
Stranger 2: I think they did.
Stranger 1: Batman's too busy solving crime
Stranger 1: He spends 99% of his time beating dudes up
Stranger 1: The other 1% is training
Stranger 1: no time to mess about
Stranger 2: I think Robin LOVES being seme so he like rapes batman after making him a "special" drink.
Stranger 1: Pssh
Stranger 1: Batman isn't affecting by special drinks
Stranger 1: he spent years building resistance to them
Stranger 1: I wouldn't put it past Jason Todd/Robin trying though
Stranger 1: that kid was messed up, dude
Stranger 1: messed up
Stranger 2: HE IS!!
Stranger 1: -affected (just noticed that)
Stranger 2: and you are telling me that Batman has been druged so many times that he is no longer affected by rophies?
Stranger 1: Yeah, pretty much
Stranger 1: It's like, Batman 101 dude
Stranger 1: Catch up on the times
Stranger 2: Would you believe me if I said that Robin has specical rophies just for Batman?
Stranger 1: No
Stranger 1: Kid's like, 14
Stranger 1: He can't get access to that stuff without Batman finding out
Stranger 2: That doesnt matter...is not like drug dealers ask for parent permisson.
Stranger 1: Man, you really want this to happen
Stranger 1: Am I sensing a fetish?
Stranger 1: I'm sensing a fetish.
Stranger 1: I think YOU want them to get it on.
Stranger 1: Projecting you man needs onto fictional characters.
Stranger 1: Let me guess, small town?
Stranger 1: Strong religious community?
Stranger 2: I do live in a small town...and I am a girl.
Stranger 1: OH MAN
Stranger 1: obviously
Stranger 1: Yaoi fangirl
Stranger 1: should've seen it
Stranger 1: ugh
Stranger 1: Sherlock scan is off
Stranger 2: omg lol
Stranger 2: I am not a bad one though
Stranger 1: Rape fetish?
Stranger 1: yeaaah, I'll believe that
Stranger 1: -.-
Stranger 2: Lol, really I am just bored.
Stranger 2: But I do like the whole rape thing if it is with the right characters.
Stranger 1: How old are you?
Stranger 1: I'm just wondering
Stranger 1: for science
Stranger 2: sure...
Stranger 2: lol
Stranger 2: 17
Stranger 1: hm
Stranger 2: I will be 18 in like a month
Stranger 1: I will pretend to believe that
Stranger 1: uh huh
Stranger 1: yeah
Stranger 1: We all will
Stranger 1: That's what everyone says
Stranger 2: haha....lol....really OCT 20th 1993
Stranger 1: okay okay
Stranger 2: ok so like 2 months
Stranger 2: How old are you?
Stranger 1: Would you also give me your social security number?
Stranger 1: 18
Stranger 2: DUDE I like just learned what it was.....
Stranger 2: To fill out college shit
Stranger 1: haha, that's how I learned mine
Stranger 2: My adviser got REALLY mad at us all because NO one know what theirs were
Stranger 1: We don't actually NEED to know them until we're old enough to start filling out paper work and stuff
Stranger 2: EXACTLY
Stranger 1: Which really isn't until senior year
Stranger 1: so
Stranger 1: you know
Stranger 1: I mean, if you have a bank account or a job or something, you should know it
Stranger 1: but like
Stranger 1: us slacker internet kids?
Stranger 1: Heck no
Stranger 1: (PS If you're really into the yaoi thing, you need to watch Sherlock. It's the gayest straight show of all time)
Stranger 2: if anything it is better that we dont know it...so that when you meet a creepier who says they are 18 asks for it you dont know
Stranger 1: Like me!
Stranger 1: And yeah, totes
Stranger 2: Do you like yaoi?
Stranger 1: eh
Stranger 1: It depends
Stranger 1: I don't like yaoi for the sake of yaoi
Stranger 1: like
Stranger 1: I don't know
Stranger 2: I understand
Stranger 1: if two characters are gay for each other, it doesn't bother me
Stranger 1: but when it's like
Stranger 1: LOL GUYS THEY'RE SO IN LOVE
Stranger 1: between two guys who aren't really in the same scenes or whatever just because it's hot
Stranger 1: I'm just like
Stranger 1: oh fandom
Stranger 1: what is wrong with you
Stranger 2: haha... I do understand what you mean....Have you ever seen Hetalia?
Stranger 1: UGH
Stranger 1: UGH
Stranger 2: OH COME ON!!!!
Stranger 1: I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
Stranger 1: EVERYONE AND THEIR HETALIA OBSESSION
Stranger 1: I HAVE TO GO
Stranger 1 has disconnected

[Neville Chamberlain]

I honestly think he/she could have become a best friend :o(

You: hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: indian?
You: yes please!
Stranger: asl?
You: no, jalfrezi please
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Nobody Soup]

well, I just went on

Stranger: horny 18 m looking for cute girl
You: wow, this has started paying off pretty fucking quickly
You: so you say you're horny
Stranger: yeah :)
You: well my mum thinks I'm cute, so maybe I'm what you're looking for
Stranger: do you have a pic? here's mine
Stranger: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/Piku12o/Photoon2011-01-11at22583.jpg
You: this is going to have a cock in it, isn't it?
Stranger: no, its just a normal picture
You: just so you know, I'm going to be basically taking the piss out of you then posting it on a message board.
You: so, tell me about you being horny
You: I'm wearing a bra
Stranger: what kind of panties?
You: velvet underground ones
You: with the banana?
You: you know, warhol
You: I'm not horny yet, stud
You: you're going to have to try a bit harder
Stranger: describe yourself
You: when you speak about the weights of things do you use the metric system?

horny people are stupid.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Today is not my lucky day :'o(

Stranger: hey
You: Hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: What does that even mean?!
Stranger: age, sex location
You: Aha!
You: 34, bloke, notts
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[madhair60]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello. I am President Barack Obama. Where the white women at?
Stranger: I'm a prime-minister of Ukraine
You: That's several rungs below my black ass on the political ladder.
You: How many white women do you have ready for immediate shipping?
Stranger: how many do you need?
You: Shit, bitch, I need the whole pallette!
You: I'm Barack Obama!
You: Yes We Can - drill that white ass!
You: Can I get a hooooo-hoooooooooo!?
You: Can I get a wheeeeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaa!?
You: Niggaz getcha hands in tha airrrrr.
You: \nn/
Stranger: oh my...
Stranger: you're bad nigga
You: Racist.
You have disconnected.

[BlodwynPig]

no one is chatting...even anonymous and people ignore me

[Neville Chamberlain]

I might as well just give up now :o((((((((

Stranger: hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[BlodwynPig]

finally I discovered intellect and communication. here is an enlightening one.

You: hello
You: death to the internet, discuss
Stranger: my name is austin
You: hello mr. texas
Stranger: death to you
You: to me? i am already dead
Stranger: no my name is austin im from texas
Stranger: sdfgsdfgsdfgsdfg
Stranger: sd
Stranger: g
You: are you from Austin, Texas, Austin?
Stranger: sdfg
Stranger: sd
Stranger: fg
Stranger: sdf
Stranger: gsdf
Stranger: gsd
Stranger: fgsdfgsdfgsdfgsdfgsdfgsdfgsdfgsdfgsd
Stranger: f
Stranger: g
Stranger: fg
You: bored
Stranger: fg
Stranger: fgasdfasdfasdfasdf

[BlodwynPig]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, m 27 australia here
You: hello
You: must be late over there
Stranger: indeed
You: what brought you here
Stranger: sex
You: i see no sex
Stranger: me too
You: you could end up getting your rocks off with a 64 year old dingo farmer

[Nobody Soup]

Stranger: hi
You: well that's original
Stranger: well what would you say if you are so original?
You: goodbye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Neville Chamberlain]

You: hi!
Stranger: m or f?
You: m!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sexist!!

[Neville Chamberlain]

I've a horrible feeling I've just seen one of you lot masturbating.

[Melodichaze]

Ah I gave it a try and just got a nice, sensible person who wanted to discuss books - I must be side-stepping the freaky, horny "strangers"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That sounds awful.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I've just seen a perineum!!!

[Melodichaze]

That sounds awful.

It was! They dismissed Thomas Hardy as "just a miserable old man" - had to disconnect at that point...

[WesterlyWinds]

I try to be accommodating to these people and all that happens is they leave me. :(

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Evening
Stranger: hiiiiiiii
Stranger: you f
You: I can be anything you want me to be
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

No wonder we live in such disaffected times when no-one seems to trust a stranger...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: looking for a lesbian girl
You: Well you're in luck!
Stranger: fuck off
Your conversational partner has disconnected

[CaledonianGonzo]

I got a philosopher:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Evening

Stranger: What's a pretty bot like you doing in a place like this?

You: I *have* a pretty bot.

Stranger: You are human?

You: Last time I checked

Stranger: I am a cellphone.

You: What model?

Stranger: Opel.

You: Tasty. But no HTC  Desire.

Stranger: Any advice for the future?

You: Upgrade?

Stranger: Upgrades?

You: Multiple upgrades as standard

Stranger: Indeed.

You: This is more profound than I'd first imagined

Stranger: What is average?

You: Can man *be* average?

Stranger: 185 - 195 pounds.

You: What's that in stone?

Stranger: 5.

You: Sounds suspiciously below average to me...

Stranger: Yes, I know about that.

[WesterlyWinds]

Does anyone else keep getting someone advertising a website about cooking and cleavage?

[CaledonianGonzo]

Does anyone else keep getting someone advertising a website about cooking and cleavage?

Did you buy anything from them?

[doppelkorn]

I do

[WesterlyWinds]

Did you buy anything from them?

I haven't actually yet visited the site out of an irrational fear that all may not be as it seems and thus it may scar me for life.

[doppelkorn]

You: hello

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl plz

You: what does that mean?

Stranger: it means tell me about your age -sex-location....please

You: where do i start! people often say your mid 20s is the best time of your life but it must be one of those things that you only realise afterwards

You: right now i feel so overwhelmed

You: then there's the sex...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Neil]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
What girls here have fucked teachers or ministers?

You: I've fucked teachers and ministers lol
Stranger: i havent
You: they's into some kinky shit
You: one of them told me my pussy smelt like wet cabbage
Stranger: does it?
You: it's got the approximate texture, but smells good to me!!
Stranger: well if you like it ...
Stranger: i guess it's ok then
You: is fecal matter meant to come out of it? There's a lot of fecal matter in my pussy :-/
Stranger: i dont think that's ok
Stranger: but i'm no expert
Stranger: i've got a dick and it's pretty easy to maintain
You: how do you maintain that big dick of yours?
Stranger: it's nothing hard really
Stranger: you need to fuck a girl from time to time
Stranger: and after that you wash it
Stranger: it's good to wash it after you pee too
You: when you can't get a girl, you ever lube it up with spit and fuck a moudly orange?
Stranger: never done it
Stranger: but when i cant get a girl i usually watch some porn and jerk off
You: what sort of porn? The type with jazz music and bakers eating each others cum?
Stranger: i just punch in youporn.com
Stranger: and whatever is on the front page
You: Scottish speed-heads with big fat stupid tits and alsations howling into a woman's fanny?
Stranger: havent seen that
Stranger: there is always some nice video of a handsome guy fucking a pretty girl
Stranger: and that works just fine
You: sounds pretty generic and boring
Stranger: well i like it
Stranger: what more do you need
You: well cool. I've got to go and stick a plaster on my sore cunt.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: bye
Stranger: have fun
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Little Hoover]

Well that was fun.

Question to discuss:
Are you a bot?
Stranger 1: no
Stranger 2: nope
Stranger 1: im not a bot
Stranger 2: Human!
Stranger 2: :)
Stranger 1: D:
Stranger 1 has disconnected

[biggytitbo]

I met someone else from Hull last time around!

Sick bastard.

[jimmy jazz]

Question to discuss:
is james bond a sociopath?

Stranger 1: no

Stranger 2: he's a spy

Stranger 1 has disconnected
Enter a question: