LEGEND GARY

[Beagle 2]

Legend Gary doesn't see why they have to rub your face in it. He doesn't mind what people get up to in their own homes, but why have they got to ram it down your throat? Granted, he has bought a ticket for the drag act "Naomi Knickerless" and sat in the front row, right in the middle, but he's not being funny right he doesn't want his kids seeing it. Granted he hasn't told anybody he's here and he bought the tickets on the door so it wouldn't show up on his credit card, and he's told his girlfriend he's watching UFC at Pubesy's, but he doesn't understand why he's having these confusing feelings why do they have to go on about it?

[Glebe]

Ledge goes around trying to take photos of womens' arses on his phone, in and around the Edgeware Road. He is largely unsuccessful, and at one point crashes into a dustbin, which is subsequently fucked through the window of a Topshop across the way.

[Vodka Margarine]

Beard buzzed down to 1, check.
Pastel shirt tucked into shorts, check.
Brown loafers with no socks, check.

Legend Gary doesn't do rain.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Pubes mercilessly has the piss ripped out of him for 2 full hours at the pub.

"What do you think Daz?"
"Eh, erm.....I dunno, Bobby Charlton."
"YOU THINK BOBBY CHARLTON IS THE FITTEST LASS OF ALL TIME?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU WOOFTER"

Oh Daz. What a fateful time to miss the fact that the bantz had switched to topic #2 (of 2).

[Glebe]

Ledge gatecrashes a posh lad's party, and pisses all over his rare vinyl.

[dex]

Legend Gary makes Pubes and Lee remove their loafers before coming into the Ledge's abode. While they are looking at the latest pornhubs, Legend Gary fills the removed footwear with an aerosol tin of Anchor whipped cream. "Teach them cunts to steal my style!"

Throws in a thick rope of cum when he's done.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary doing the grocery shopping of an evening, cunts a Fray Bentos into the basket like a stone co...

..ohhh my goddd..
... What's this?


Someone's buying an avocado!

Hahahaha


Hey

You


AVOCADO WANKER

[Glebe]

Legend pushes Invincible Jon near Asda. He later feels a mild tinge of regret, during the first round of surgery to remove his teeth from his esophagus.

[Old Gold Tooth]

Legend Gary jumped into the canal next to the Waterboat pub and didn't even go home to get changed. He dried himself off under the Dyson in the toilets and went straight to the club (when it opened at 7.30pm).

[Paulie Walnuts]

CaB's complicated relationship with the working classes continues

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

CaB's complicated relationship with the working classes continues

Your complicated relationship with perception and comprehension continues.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary making his mark at Wembley

[Glebe]

CaB's complicated relationship with the working classes continues

Legend Gary doesn't stay at his nan's flat in Essex, but returns to the Bullingdon Club every night, just in time for the evening's bullying session.

[Glebe]

Legend overhears Jovial Jerry talking about "the good old days!"  in his back garden. A cruel nastiness suddenly wells up within, and he's over that fence like a fucking cat, lamping Jerry around the face and nutsack with a smashed flowerpot.

[dex]

Legend Gary goes for a piss, using Colin's motorcycle as a urinal.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Pubes Daz reencounters the girl he was in love with in sixth form. Christ, she's still gorgeous. Should he say anything? Ask her if she remembers him? Which part of those days should he bring up - or should he pretend he doesn't remember at all and let her make the connecti-......

Oh, never mind. The Ledge has just walked over to her at the bar doing his surefire, dead-cert, knicker-dropper of an impression of Aleksandr Orlov, from Compare The Meerkat.

As Pubes feared, within 5 minutes she would be sucking Gary's dick in the lavs.

[Glebe]

Ledge challenges Mad Greg to a duel at dawn. He turns up on the heath at five past noon wielding a jagged scrumpy can.

Mad Greg is still in bed and laughing about Ledge.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary brings his dog Churchill to heel.

Well, the neck, anyway.

[Glebe]

Legend Gary goes hog wild with a super soaker.

[Old Gold Tooth]

Legend Gary goes hog wild with a super soaker.

Which is also what he calls his knob. And he does make the hogs pretty wild with that weyyyyyyy!

[Paul Calf]

Legend Gary goes hog wild with a super soaker.

...he pissed and spunked in the water tank and left it overnight to ferment.

[Quincey]

CaB's complicated relationship with the working classes continues

Not sure why Legend Gary is anti-working class unless you are trying to claim that most working class people behave like Legend Gary. We should be able to criticise wankers of any class.

I would imagine many of the people Legend Gary is a cunt to are working class.

If you want to start an upper class version feel free.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Indeed, as a working class son of a lorry driver who grew up on a council estate, I find the idea that Paulie considers Legend Gary to represent the working classes rather than just say, being an oafish laddish cunt, fairly bizarre. Sounds like he might have a bit of a complicated relationship with us.

Anyway, Legend Gary loudly and proudly declares he 'hasn't let the terrorists win' as his pissed-up night out in Manchester ends with him being sick on the pavement (splashing several upset passersby) and kicking a pigeon into a litter bin.

[Glebe]

To me, Legend Gary represents the very essence of the working class. Their oikish behaviour is a stain on our great nation. Tally-ho!

[Quincey]

Pubes Dan is asleep having smoked a lot of weed. Legend Gary pulls his pants down while trying not to look at his cock and removes his forsk and puts it between two slices of bread. Pubes Dan wakes up and screams as blood gushes from his penis. Legend Gary laughs and hands Pubes Dan a forsk sandwich.

Legend Gary is walking through town stuck behind a wheelchair user. Remembering what he's read in the Sun that day, he pushes the wheelchair over and demands to know if the wheelchair user is "getting handouts from us taxpayers" The wheelchair user tells him to fuck off and he walks off filming on his phone and shouting "vote theresa may".

Shirley Saggyarse is having a shit in a front garden as she was halfway home when she needed a poo. Legend Gary films it all and enjoys his 3 inch erect cock every night while watching.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Not sure why Legend Gary is anti-working class unless you are trying to claim that most working class people behave like Legend Gary. We should be able to criticise wankers of any class.

I would imagine many of the people Legend Gary is a cunt to are working class.

If you want to start an upper class version feel free.

Yes, precisely. It take a degree of prejudice in the first place to use the exploits of Ledge Gaz to assume that's what this is about, or indeed that it represents working class people in any way. Perhaps the person should read a copy of Viz.

[Thursday]

Legend Gary got a job in commissioning at Showtime and gave David Lynch 18 hours to do whatever he wants with. The absolute madman.

[Glebe]

Ledge Gary looks at a picture of "imogrants" on the cover of The Daily Mail. He then goes and glasses an Asian.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Legend Gary cues up Sunday Brunch on his DVR at 11.30 on Sunday night.

"Fucking great show, but I ain't getting up that early for it. Mug's game mate. Ahhh there he is. Loooooove-joyyyyyyyy! What a lad."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary got a job in commissioning at Showtime and gave David Lynch 18 hours to do whatever he wants with. The absolute madman.

Legend Gary made sure to come right before that couple shagging got murdered.