Lyrics that make no sense

[Bacon]

'The north is to south what the clock is to time' - Pearl Jam

I have soft spot for the earnest yet nonsensical, please post examples. Thank

You

[Shaky]

Pump up the jam
(excuse me??)

Pump it up
(I heard you, I just don't underst...)

While your feet are stomping
(my feet aren't stomping. Can we get back to this jam busine...?)

And the jam is pumping
(IT'S NOT - I haven't got to that yet)

Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'
(I realize they're hungry for their pumped jam, but can we just go over the steps again please?)

[Noodle Lizard]

That "least favourite song" thread got me thinking about some of the inane, ponderous lyrics from emo bands.  Probably my favourite contender is from Taking Back Sunday:

"Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins"

You what, mate?  "Clever napkins", I ask you.

[Jockice]

Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis.You couldn't cry your heart out even if you tried. What nonsense.

[purlieu]

I have soft spot for the earnest yet nonsensical, please post examples.

Ah, I was coming to post Karl Hyde's entire output as Underworld's lyricist, but they're intentionally oblique, not earnest yet nonsensical.

In that case
"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones" from Fix You by Coldplay.
Basically "you are going to burn from the inside".

[jobotic]

Girl I'm gonna make you sweat. Sweat 'til you can't sweat no more.

Never made much sense to me. Then again.

And if you cry out I'm gonna push it. Push it push it some more.

Ah, a rape/murder. Charming.

[Quote]

When lights are burning people's skin off and even igniting their skeleton's then surely it's time to step down to a lower wattage bulb?

[thraxx]

Good good good good good good good good good good good good double double good double double good.

Somehow this sentence manages to be baffling.

[thraxx]

Just got back from the year 3000, not much had changed, but we live underwater.
(Not much had changed? But we live UNDERWATER? You nonplussed cunts!)

And your best friends best friends daughter is really fine (really fine)
(even making reasonable assumptions about her date of birth, not to mention the fact that 'not much had changed' she would be well over 900 years old, you geriophile wankers.)

[thecuriousorange]

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Lou 'You have a hairy minded pink bare bear' Reed. Or maybe it's perfectly fine.

[chand]

Aw shit, I have to defend Busted? Fuck my life.

Just got back from the year 3000, not much had changed, but we live underwater.
(Not much had changed? But we live UNDERWATER? You nonplussed cunts!)

It's a joke. I think they're aware that civilisation moving entirely underwater would be a big deal.

And your best friends best friends daughter is really fine (really fine)
(even making reasonable assumptions about her date of birth, not to mention the fact that 'not much had changed' she would be well over 900 years old, you geriophile wankers.)

The line is "great-great-great-granddaughter".

[wosl]

Lou 'You have a hairy minded pink bare bear' Reed.

Rack his purple dog that wears spats alongside that. I dunno though; maybe he was just a top, tricksy NYC euphemist.

[purlieu]

In that case
"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones" from Fix You by Coldplay.
Basically "you are going to burn from the inside".

Oh God, how did I forget this one?

"Birds go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began
Birds came flying from the underground, if you could see it then you'd understand"

Fucking hell.

[thraxx]

Aw shit, I have to defend Busted? Fuck my life.

It's a joke. I think they're aware that civilisation moving entirely underwater would be a big deal.

The line is "great-great-great-granddaughter".

Bollocks it was a joke.

Even if it was their great great great grandaughter, by reasonable estimates, she'd sdtill be over 800 years old.

And yeah, the slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball line has always gripped my shit.

[Mr Banlon]

Pump up the jam
(excuse me??)

Pump it up
(I heard you, I just don't underst...)

While your feet are stomping
(my feet aren't stomping. Can we get back to this jam busine...?)

And the jam is pumping
(IT'S NOT - I haven't got to that yet)

Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'
(I realize they're hungry for their pumped jam, but can we just go over the steps again please?)

It's about dogging during your period.

[Entropy Balsmalch]

Early morning when I wake up,
I look like Kiss but without the make up,
And that's a good line to take it to the bridge.

No it's not. That last one is.

Should be "And this is a good line to take it to the bridge".

[Steven]

The early Oasis tune Life In Vain has some epic shittery, did Liam write that one?

I used to live my life in vain
Until today it's been the same
I've gone away to diappear
My life with you was just too dear
A better life is all I need
To free me from this naughty league
I've been and gone
I won't be back
I'll live my life without all that

I love the chorus in Radiohead's My Iron Lung (which was ostensibly about how the popularity of the single Creep was the only thing keeping the band alive):

The headshrinkers, they want everything
My uncle Bill, my Belisha beacon

Black Star is a bit fucking mad as well:

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home

Y'what mate? You're not Mike TV, Thom! Stop saying you're like Mike TV.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

Isn't that about having your perception of time go all wonky while on drugs? Noel Gallagher invented cake before Chris Morris.

[Steven]

Isn't that about having your perception of time go all wonky while on drugs? Noel Gallagher invented cake before Chris Morris.

If you roll a cannonball down the hall though it's slow as fuck.

[Brundle-Fly]

Deep Dark Truthful Mirror by Elvis Costello.

A stripping puppet on a liquid stick
Gets into it pretty thick
A butterfly drinks a turtle's tears, but how do you know he really needs it?

'Cause a butterfly feeds on a dead monkey's hand
Jesus wept, he felt abandoned
You're spellbound, baby, there's no doubting that
Did you ever see a stare like a Persian cat?

[Brundle-Fly]

Early morning when I wake up,
I look like Kiss but without the make up,

I never understood this lyric. Is Robbie Williams saying that his hungover face looks like the ageing band, Kiss when they take off their make up after a show or that his hungover face is so dark around the eyes that he looks like a member of Kiss in full make up?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

^ The former, I'm pretty sure, hence "without the make up". The latter would be too clever and subtle a lyric for Robbie Wiliams' audience to grasp.

[Joy Nktonga]

I've always thought that the opposite meaning was his intention. Pale face and black-ringed eyes; a right state, so to speak.

[TheMonk]

"Don't bring me down, groos!"

[Spiteface]

The early Oasis tune Life In Vain has some epic shittery, did Liam write that one?

Yeah that's one of Liam's, there's a documentary Oasis did for the 10th Anniversary of Definitely Maybe where Noel talks about joining the band and the songs Liam had co-written with Bonehead, Life in Vain is mentioned, as well as Acoustic, which was just Liam with Bonehead on guitar. "Fookin'... the vision!" indeed.

Good good good good good good good good good good good good double double good double double good.

Somehow this sentence manages to be baffling.

"On a par with WB Yeats on an average day!"

[Steven]

Noel talks about joining the band and the songs Liam had co-written with Bonehead, Life in Vain is mentioned, as well as Acoustic, which was just Liam with Bonehead on guitar. "Fookin'... the vision!" indeed.

Ahah,  yeah I remember now.  Noel is a great talking had who drips out these very silly anecdotes,  he's pretty much the rock Alan Bennett isn't he?

[chand]

Bollocks it was a joke.

Of course it's a joke. I don't understand why anyone would take the line at face value, except for a shitty observational comedy bit that doesn't work.

Even if it was their great great great grandaughter, by reasonable estimates, she'd sdtill be over 800 years old.

Alright, Neil deGrasse Tyson, I'll go out on a limb and suggest that a scientifically believable number of 'greats' there would reduce the catchiness of the chorus a bit.

[Bacon]

No more maybes
Your baby's got rabies
Sitting on a ball
In the middle of the Andes

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

Chemical Brothers - Let Forever Be.

"How does it feel like?"