Royal Family Watch

[Blumf]

Is it my imagination, or are Bantz and the Do-nothings having a bit of a media blitz at the moment? What's the angle? Why now?

Surely they should be (desperately) trying to buff up Chuck's public image? After all, it won't be long before we have to put up with his mug on the cash and stamps.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah they've been on the charm offensive.

Cunt of Death's Deathday, Banter Harry doing the Mentals Health and Bald Gurning Tree Trunk doing being at a thing and smiling.

[Glebe]

Is it my imagination, or are Bantz and the Do-nothings having a bit of a media blitz at the moment? What's the angle? Why now?

To lull the public into a false sense of security, then leg it into the top secret bunker when nuclear Armageddon begins.

[BlodwynPig]

it would be nice to see a newspaper report that this is propaganda. just once. They must have done it pre-Diana's death.

[Sal Vicuso]

Tabloids are saying that Airmiles Andy is having it away with Kylie. 2016 is supposed to be over dammit!

[BlodwynPig]

Tabloids are saying that Airmiles Andy is having it away with Kylie. 2016 is supposed to be over dammit!

Nah, not having that one. Didn't she get married?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10159093116345643&id=500345642

Inspiring video about comradeship and perseverance at the London marathon

You'll never guess which two bald perma-holidaying scroungers manage to crowbar their way into the video despite doing NOTHING.

The sycophancy is unbelievable

[Blue Jam]

Yeah they've been on the charm offensive.

Cunt of Death's Deathday, Banter Harry doing the Mentals Health and Bald Gurning Tree Trunk doing being at a thing and smiling.

...and now a "cute" photo released for Princess Spare's second birthday:



She's a Middleton alright, the spitting image of Pippa- half as orange but twice as pointless.

Note the photos credited to Kate here- she's a very talented photographer you know, taking photos of... er... her kids...

[Mr Eggs]

She's a Middleton alright.

She's a Haig. Like her bro.

[Blue Jam]

Don't forget, we've got another royal(ish) wedding to look forward to- the holy union of Auntie Orangina herself and the brother of Spencer from off Made In Chelsea and The Bachelor:

When is Pippa Middleton's wedding? All the details and rumours including date, location, the dress and guest list

While her big sister Kate wowed the world when she wed her prince in Westminster Abbey, Pippa Middleton has opted for much more low-key affair with her banking tycoon fiancé.

The younger sister will marry James Matthews , 41, in May in her local village church.

And she is not afraid of being upstaged by the wedding party, as she has named nephew and niece Prince George and Princess Charlotte as a page boy and flower girl , Kensington Palace have confirmed.

I suspect Pippa "Arse" Middleton is the very last person on Earth who would worry about being upstaged at a wedding.

[Glebe]

His confidence boosted by new medal, Phil Collins attempts to grow his hair back.

[Blumf]

We all need to 'do one'. Not sure what 'one' is, but I will endeavour to do it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4467138/Internet-trolls-post-comments-Princess-Charlotte.html

'If you don't like the royals just do one and stay quiet!' Overwhelming response after vile internet trolls posted hateful comments about Princess Charlotte's birthday portrait
...

Okay, which one of you is Evan?

Fashion!!

Dress your little princess like Charlotte in a cardigan from John Lewis

Can you believe it's been almost two whole years since the world watched the doors of the Lindo Wing in London, waiting for a glimpse of the newborn Princess Charlotte?

But it won't just be the Royal family celebrating her second birthday tomorrow. It's a good excuse for us to go on a shopping spree too!

We can't wait to see what she'll wear when she acts as a bridesmaid for her Aunt Pippa later this month, but until then, check out the adorable yellow cardigan she's wearing in this picture. We love the sheep motif and Fair Isle style of this button down cardigan, which is from none other than John Lewis.

Unfortunately it has now sold out (the Kate effect is a family trait!), but click (right) to buy a sweet pink dress featuring the same design. Nothing says spring quite like little lambs so treat your mini me now.

Alternatively, shop the very cute Charlotte-inspired options in the edit below. We've found everything from chickens to lions at John Lewis, or Boden, Matalan and Marks & Spencer have got some mellow yellow knitwear that will do the trick.

[BlodwynPig]

shrill and twee...Broken Britain

[Blue Jam]

Okay, which one of you is Evan?

Yeah, that was me, sorry.

[Blue Jam]

Banter Harry in new bid to stop going as bald as his brother:

EXCLUSIVE: Prince Harry gets special deliveries of hair-loss-fighting omega 3 pills made from CAVIAR (sourced from the Norwegian fjords)

For once the royals are using our money wisely- I would have been happy to fund a lifetime supply of Regaine for Wills if it would have stopped us from ending up with an embarrassingly bald future head of state.

Prince Harry has often joked about his brother William's receding hairline... Harry once quipped that his older brother was 'already bald aged 12'.

Top bantz Harry, top bantz indeed.

[Glebe]

BREAKING NEWS: Prince Phillip is BALD.

[Alberon]

Philip retiring?

From what?

Unveiling plaques and breaking the tedium of it all by seeing how un-PC offensive he can be to some fawning royalist?

[Rainbow Man]

"Yeah, isn't the Royal Household great? Why can't we be more like them?" Oh, fuck off.

[Glebe]

I suspect Pippa "Arse" Middleton is the very last person on Earth who would worry about being upstaged at a wedding.

What every happened to Pippa Middleton's Arse? Retired?

[asids]

"Yeah, isn't the Royal Household great? Why can't we be more like them?" Oh, fuck off.

Well, it is Reddit, so it's just a bunch of American wanks going "Ain't those darned Brits funny with their kings and queens?" and thinking it would be a good laugh for America to have that. This is the same demographic that probably thought Trump being elected was a good laugh also because it didn't really affect them.

[Blue Jam]

*PAGING ATTILA!!!*

"Yeah, isn't the Royal Household great? Why can't we be more like them?" Oh, fuck off.

That's essentially a bunch of Yanks praising us Brits for our high degree of state secrecy- North Korea and China do it even better, why aren't they so full of praise for Kim Jong-un and his friends?

I suspect Americans meay have a rose-tinted view of our secret services and establishment figures thanks to James Bond. To them it must look like they're a bunch of fine upstanding chaps wearing nice suits and being devoted to stopping swarthy foreign rogues from stealing the crown jewels, rather than a corrupt bunch of fuckers devoted to stopping Yewtree getting any bigger.

Sod Reddit, a royal forum more in line with the average CaBber's level of royalism is http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de- and no, I don't know if they got it hosted in Germany to take the piss or not. Start with the Wills'n'Kate forum and then work through its subforums- and remember: Quentin Letts thought we were harsh...

[Blue Jam]

What every happened to Pippa Middleton's Arse? Retired?

It's getting married to a millionaire hedge fund manager and his arse, so yes, I guess it's taking early retirement, after one last outing in a really fitted white dress, probably.

The wedding is at the end of this month- and Uncle Legend Gary is invited, hurrah! I hope he drinks too much free champagne and punches someone. Preferably Wills. Or George.

[Uncle TechTip]

That's not really true anyway, as news of a meeting leaked out pretty quickly and caused much activity at 4am. I'm sure only a handful of elderly people knew the reason for the meeting.

[Ambient Sheep]

Sod Reddit, a royal forum more in line with the average CaBber's level of royalism is http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de- and no, I don't know if they got it hosted in Germany to take the piss or not. Start with the Wills'n'Kate forum and then work through its subforums- and remember: Quentin Letts thought we were harsh...

Jesus... yeah, that forum makes this one look positively fawning!

On the matter of the topless princess shots:

who wants to see some burnt-crisp flat sunny-sides up on that rank mannish stick insect? Not me.

And that's not the worst thing...


EDIT: Just found their Charles & Savile thread, some interesting stuff in there, esp. about Lord Mountbatten, that I wasn't previously aware of.

[Attila]

*PAGING ATTILA!!!*

Been catching up with all the news, after about three weeks' out in the USA...so much to sift through! Balding Bantz, the latest photo of the already middle-aged-looking Spare[nb]although admittedly she doesn't have that same It's a Good Life expression that her brother has[/nb], the agonised breathless wait to find out the news from the Palace.

Was in the supermarket Friday morning, and the rack of repeated full-sized, front page photos of Prince Philip were a terrifying site.

[touchingcloth]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/queen-visits-young-victims-of-very-wicked-manchester-attack

The Queen asked 15-year-old Millie Robson, who sustained leg injuries and wore an Ariana Grande T-shirt for the royal visit, whether she had enjoyed the concert before the attack, describing Grande as a "very good singer".

I'd like to ask her if she'd enjoyed her life thus far as I eased the noose around her neck.

[Dr Syntax Head]

For a while I believed this thread was the reason this forum was down recently. Keep up the good work

[Attila]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/may/25/queen-visits-young-victims-of-very-wicked-manchester-attack

I'd like to ask her if she'd enjoyed her life thus far as I eased the noose around her neck.

'Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?'


Meanwhile, in a BBC article today about a new documentary William and Harry are doing about Diana, this is the photo they chose to illustrate the caption, 'William said he was sad that his mother never met his wife or children.'

[touchingcloth]

'Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?'

For someone who's only ever job has been to make small talk, how can she be so terrible at it? Lack of a heart, I suspect.

[Blue Jam]

THERE IS NO MAGIC MONEY TREE:

Queen in line for £2.8m pay rise in 2017-18

THERE IS NO MAGIC MONEY TREE.

Found via my new favourite Facebook page:

See, when Old Leather Ass May told that nurse who hadn't had a pay rise in 8 years that there was no magic money tree she forgot to mention that there is always one available for Greedy Betty & the rest of the parasites