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Mental Tim

Started by pancreas, March 27, 2017, 01:21:24 AM

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pancreas

Been at again. Downed a whole pint of Carling at Sue's wedding.

Mental Tim sticks his holiday snaps into the family album with superglue.

pancreas

Mental Tim has his fish and chips with Reggae Reggae sauce. Swears by it.

Mental Tim once spent a pound in the 99p store.

pancreas

For Mental Tim, there's no such thing as a single espresso.

Mental Tim is friends with Hulk Hogan on Facebook.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Growing up there was a kid in my town known by children and parents alike as Mental Martin.

He appearances were so fleeting he took on almost mystical quality, as though he was a yeti or a sex offender The last time I remember him appearing was at our now closed lido, a shock of ginger hair belting around like an absolute lunatic while children and parents were all panicking and frantically declaring that Mental Martin was here.

NoSleep


Captain Poodle Basher

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 27, 2017, 07:33:38 AM
Growing up there was a kid in my town known by children and parents alike as Mental Martin.

He appearances were so fleeting he took on almost mystical quality, as though he was a yeti or a sex offender The last time I remember him appearing was at our now closed lido, a shock of ginger hair belting around like an absolute lunatic while children and parents were all panicking and frantically declaring that Mental Martin was here.

Our version was Robbie who, while not exactly mental per se, was the fucked up product of the shittest of upbringings so beloved of misery porn style books. In later years, he'd be accompanied by his equally screwed up younger brother Barry. We used to dread the pair of them making an appearance as, any innocent play would soon turn very dark as adult themes of strong language, play-violence-turning-to-actual violence and topics of a graphical sexual nature would be introduced by the dynamic duo. Thankfully, the pair of them had a form of ADD so would get bored of our passive-aggressive non-participation in their fucked up play and wander off. Even when they weren't around, we'd be asked if we'd seen them by policemen or any number of adults and the sight of the brothers in the back of a patrol car was utterly normal as far as we were concerned.

Like Martin - you'd hear a commotion, loud shouts, running feet and bang, there'd be the pair of them grinning like mad and a shout of "We've robbed the shop!" or "Broke a car window" etc and off they'd race once more - often followed by an outraged victim chasing after them.

Glebe

I've known Tim for some weeks. He left a chewed dog toy on my doorstep one evening.

Bazooka

Mental Tim orders £36 worth of meat from an online butcher, cancels instantly after the order is confirmed.

Lemming

Mental Tim's nickname becomes increasingly uncomfortable after he's diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis

Last night, Mental Tim cut his fingernails with a set of toenail clippers.

pancreas

Sometimes, Mental Tim just skips over third gear and goes straight into fourth.

Whenever Mental Tim needs to send a letter, he writes "Post it!" on a Post-It to remind him to post it.

Glebe

Quote from: masterofreality on March 28, 2017, 03:55:51 AM
Whenever Mental Tim needs to send a letter, he writes "Post it!" on a Post-It to remind him to post it.

And even then he doesn't post it.

Good character for a Christmas Carol rewrite.

the midnight watch baboon

Mental Tim has entered his postcode in lower case on an online form. Not even a space between postcodial segments!

pancreas

Once a month at Mental Tim's Church, they do a gospel song instead of the usual hymn.

Glebe

He send me a CD of the Bee Gees once. It cracked in the post.

At one point as Mental Tim was on his way to work this morning, his speedometer briefly touched thirty-one.

zomgmouse

Mental Tim sends threatening letters to Physical Tim.

Went on a suicide attack after changing his name to Fundamentalist Tim.

#23
Mental Tim had two and a half shredded wheat for breakfast this morning.

pancreas

Mental Tim's like: what's the point in dental floss?---Just use some thread, or some string!

Mental Tim just mowed the lawn, even though it rained yesterday.

pancreas

Mental Tim thinks nothing of a bacon & cheese whopper before forty lengths in the local pool.

Berthas Fat Leg

Mental Tim thinks those lampposts are spying on him.
Mental Tim still fancies Hufty.
Mental Tim stapled a moth to a wall.

Spoon of Ploff

mental Tim felt a little dizzy and had to have a sit down... might have to knock the mental on the head for a bit or so.

touchingcloth

Mental Tim isn't even called Tim, and he's not even mental. That's how mental he is.