Bizarre Websites

[Hugh Jass]

Over the past few years, much has been made of "weird Twitter" and "weird Facebook". However, I firmly believe that the HTML (or otherwise) weird website is a lost art.

Superbad, a classic of the genre

An unintentionally weird Ryan Stiles fansite, that scares me quite a bit. Sadly has not been updated since 2011.

EDIT to add this gloriously/disconcertingly in-depth Daily Mail interview with Stiles about SEX, in which he states the full name of his first sexual partner.

[ASFTSN]

It is of course very knowing but a firm favourite of mine for years has been this important catalogue of the various entrances to hell dotted around the UK.  There must be a CaBber behind this?

http://www.entrances2hell.co.uk/

[Chairman Bodog]

http://tedisgod.org

[Van Dammage]

https://fauux.neocities.org/

Lots to explore on that

[Hugh Jass]

http://awilkeskrier.homestead.com/

Andrew W.K. is not who you think he is

[thenoise]

http://www.mi5.com

[Small Man Big Horse]

An unintentionally weird Ryan Stiles fansite, that scares me quite a bit. Sadly has not been updated since 2011.

I remember once finding a long running fansite which had been going for years, with the last few entries all about how the owner of the site was finally going to meet the celebrity in question as they were performing in a play, and how excited she was. But then nothing, I can only guess that she met him and it was a horribly bleak experience and so she went off him completely. And I really wish I could remember who it was as well, but I sadly can't.

[machotrouts]

I remember once finding a long running fansite which had been going for years, with the last few entries all about how the owner of the site was finally going to meet the celebrity in question as they were performing in a play, and how excited she was. But then nothing, I can only guess that she met him and it was a horribly bleak experience and so she went off him completely. And I really wish I could remember who it was as well, but I sadly can't.

Chris Morris?

[Ambient Sheep]

Mentioned it before on here, but here's another outing for the rather lovelyl http://www.zombo.com/ (requires sound).

If, as is increasingly likely these days, your device can't run Flash, there's https://html5zombo.com/ but the sound quality seems far worse.

[Captain Poodle Basher]

I remember once finding a long running fansite which had been going for years, with the last few entries all about how the owner of the site was finally going to meet the celebrity in question as they were performing in a play, and how excited she was. But then nothing, I can only guess that she met him and it was a horribly bleak experience and so she went off him completely. And I really wish I could remember who it was as well, but I sadly can't.

I found one recently that seems to belong to someone with severe mental health issues. I'll not link to it as it contains screeds of libellous venom directed at individuals and businesses that are local to me. It was really odd coming across something like that as I was idly googling to see if there were any local websites for local people concerning my neighbourhood and this is what I find.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Not quite along the lines of the sites above, but I've just discovered ththis online radio station which is bizarrely naff. First off is the picture of all of the presenters on the station:



But below that is a selection of ads for local companies that look incredibly rubbish and like something knocked up in five minutes with a pc from the early 90s. I think this is my favourite but there are some other really shit ones worth checking out too.



And handily it's opposite a Greggs too, so surely all CaBbers will be shopping there now.

[Kelvin]

This is an easy one for me.

Very VERY NSFW

sereen.com  (I don't want to link directly)

It's the website for a bisexual amateur pornstar who is seemingly quite mad. Refers to himself as an immortal prince, and alternates between rants about Iran (he's Iranian), Jews and Muslims, photos of him masturbating to pictures of himself, pictures of animals slaughtered for meat (he's a vegan), paranoid theories about how the Iranian government is trying to destroy him, shots of him fucking handsome young men in bras, holding guns, one shot of an actual beheaded man, Iranian politicians, gaped anuses, photoshopped images of him posing with swords or in front of equally photshopped street art of himself, and endless bizarre paragraphs of text, varying from:

I am Immortal Prince Sereen Pure Blood of the Sasanian Persian Empire whose family swore allegiance to his majesty Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi as a king.  Javid Shah.  Heir to Vegan Immortal Zoroastrian Princess Shirin of Persia.

Persians tends to age different, have fewer risk factors for disease and tend to be more physically fit and mentally balanced than any  other people.   It is time for the world to respect my people and preserve my race and culture as Persians and not Iranians. Be Proud be Persian.  Persians are born Zoroastrians.  Iranians are not they all wrinkle and age like a filthy Jews and Muslims.

to

Taking car sex in to a whole new level.  This is always a high risk venture.  The fact remains that it is highly illegal, and there is nothing worse than getting caught with your pants down.  It does make it extra exciting speeding over 110 mph with your hard cock sliding deep inside the clit of your steering wheel.  You will shoot huge load once you feel the vibration of the steering wheel against your rock hard throbbing cock as your tires smears all over the highway while the blood rushed through your thigh as you push the pedal with extreme force all way down. 

Gender Equality

Is this Arse or Vagina? If you cant tell why should I ?

Pumped up pussy work better than viagra for the straight men. There is not one straight stallion who will walk away from a pumped up boy vagina.

A place where this image: 


and this image


are among the least jarring and incongruous.

Again, it's a fascinating website, and truly, truly bizarre, but contains pornographic imagery (mostly gay) and occasional violent imagery (slaughterhouse animals and a beheading).

[zomgmouse]

A favourite of mine was Time Cube, sadly now defunct but still accessible via the wayback machine. I had a trawl and it seems like this website has been updating since 1998 and there's been many, many, many versions. The basic premise is the author believes time is a cube and the government is covering it up. It's one of those things where you can't quite figure out if it's real or just a daft yet dedicated joke.

Here's one of the iterations:

http://wayback.archive.org/web/20030219072854/timecube.com

[Bhazor]

Yeah timecube for me too. It reminds me of when the cop finds the murderers journal.

The guy is very clearly insane sadly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn2UCqL5qyo

[Chairman Bodog]

This is from a blogspot page written by one 'Blowfly Girl'. I don't know whether it's a formicophilia fantasy erotica or a true story but it's seriously hard to read. I'll copypasta ravioli this heavy number. NSFW obviously.

Maggot Story
Here is my maggot story. The one I didn't lose, anyway. I wrote this about two weeks after my first experience with maggots, about five years ago. I didn't realize people would ask me to repost it so soon! Hope you enjoy it.

---------

Sunday was warm and sunny, just how I always fantasized it would be when I finally went through with it. I stared walking to the dumpster again, I think about 2pm, and I was really excited and nervous. I felt butterflies in my tummy, just anticipating what I was about to do.

The dumpster is in the alley behind a restaurant near my house. It gets emptied on Tuesdays, so by Sunday it's pretty stinky and there are flies buzzing around. Which means there are things rotting inside there and that's just perfect for me. A few times in the past I climbed into that dumpster and masturbated. Nothing too intense. Most I'd ever done was take off my pants and hump against the dirty garbage bags. And one time I laid there with my legs spread, watching the flies land on me.

So anyway, I walked down the alley to the dumpster, and as usual I made sure nobody was around, just to be extra careful. You have to go behind a tall wooden fence to even see the dumpster, and the restaurant is closed on Sunday anyway, so I knew I wouldn't be noticed. But this time there's no way I want to be disturbed. I climbed up and over the side and onto my hands and knees into the mass of plastic garbage bags and other miscellaneous rubbish. The bags felt warm from the sun. The smell in there was extremely foul, much worse than usual, and I knew it was because of my rotting meat. I sat and tried to get myself to relax for a few minutes. There was no reason to hurry. When I was ready, I calmly took off my sandals, my jeans, and my panties. Both pairs. I was wearing two pairs of tight panties with a bunch of my panty liners in the crotch, which keeps anything in my vagina from coming out when I move around. But I was going "all the way" this time, so I went ahead and got completely naked. That was a weird feeling, being totally nude inside the dumpster. It seemed very erotic to me. The sun felt warm on my skin, especially my boobs, which pretty much never see the sun.

I took a pair of rubber kitchen gloves out of my pants pocket and put them on. There was no way I could bring myself to actually touch a maggot with my bare hands. Lying with my back against the side of the dumpster, I fingered my pussy. I was really wet already. I knew I would be. The sensation of the rubber glove against my clit felt unusual, and I kind of liked it. I did that for a little while, just thinking about what I was about to do, while staring at the smaller garbage bag in the far corner of the dumpster where I'd left it yesterday. I still felt the butterflies in my tummy. I kept thinking to myself that I can't wimp out, that I had to go through with this. I wished for a moment that someone else was there to force me to do it, but decided that it was somehow much more sick and depraved to do it to myself willingly. And I thought, yeah, that's me. That's what I want. I deserve this. And so I knew it was time to do it

I got back on my hands and knees and crawled to the other side of the dumpster. I sat down next to my garbage bag, gently picked it up and placed it in front of me. The terrible smell was already stronger. Carefully, I tore the bag open. And there they were. There had to be thousands of maggots, kind of beige-yellow with little black spots on them, all writhing in a large mass. I couldn't even see the rotting meat underneath them. Dozens more maggots clung to the inside of the black plastic, which was coated with a thick light-brown slime. It was such a repulsive sight I thought I was going to throw up right there. But I didn't. I took a few minutes to get control of myself, fingering my clit while staring at the maggots, trying to work up the courage to continue.

I scooped up some of the slime on my gloved finger and brought it to my nose. I knew what it was from the reading I'd done before. It was digestive juices from the maggots, full of bacteria. And it smelled just horrible. I thought to myself, that's what I'm going to smell like. That's the stench that's going to come from my vagina. I want that, I thought, spreading my legs wide apart. I dragged my slimy finger between my pussy lips. My clit felt like a hard little pebble beneath the slime. I didn't want to cum right then, though, and I was still right on the edge of gagging, too. But I knew there was no turning back now, so I let my fingers lightly touch the top of the maggot mass. The maggots felt like nothing I'd experienced before. They seemed to have such energy, totally different from picking up an earthworm or something. And they felt so alive. I was fascinated and nauseated at the same time. Sinking my fingers into the mass, I felt the solid meat beneath. Gently breaking it apart, I could see that the meat had turned gray except for the very center which was still pink, and that the maggots had penetrated into it but not too deeply yet. There was still plenty of food for my filthy little babies. I broke off a small chunk of meat that was covered on one side with maggots and held it for a moment while I fought back another urge to vomit. It was finally time, I thought. I leaned forward, and holding my pussy lips apart with one hand, I gritted my teeth and pushed the maggot-covered chunk of meat into my vagina. And then, totally without expecting it, I had an orgasm. A quick, sharp one that only made me want more.

And more was coming. I broke off another small chunk of meat, along with another part of the maggot mass and pushed it inside me. This one had more maggots on it, and I stopped for a moment to see if I could feel them inside me. I wasn't sure I could, but it didn't matter. I wanted them all. I needed to take them all inside me. With that thought, I went sort of wild. I started pushing bigger chunks of meat and maggots, and even handfuls of just maggots into me, over and over. I was practically hyperventilating, too. I wasn't thinking at all about the noise I must have been making. But now I could definitely feel the maggots squirming inside my vagina. Just the idea of it made me cum again.

Finally, once I had crammed all of the rotten meat, and all of the maggots I could inside me, I felt so filthy, so disgusting, like I'd turned myself into some low, depraved sort of beast. And that made me so incredibly hot, together with the constant movement of the maggots inside me. But it was time to go. Holding my hand over my crotch, I slowly crawled back to my clothes and managed to get dressed again without anything coming out. I put the gloves back into my pocket and climbed out of the dumpster. And right then I could hold back the revulsion of what I'd just done no longer. Holding myself up against the side of the dumpster, I threw up. Ever vomited while you were horny? It's weird.

Walking home down the alley, I felt like I was in a daze. I kept asking myself how I could have done this to myself, but then asking why I'd waited so long. I had to walk slowly to make sure nothing got squeezed out of my vagina, but also to keep from cumming again. I found myself amazed at the whole thing, that I'd stuffed the most intimate part of myself with these things that were too disgusting to even touch without gloves. And that I was totally getting off on it.

Once I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom, took off my clothes, except for my double-panties, and got into bed. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the maggots squirming inside me. For a while I tried to watch TV, but I could really pay attention to it. The maggots were too wonderfully distracting. I skipped dinner. Later on, when I really had to pee, I did it by taking down my panties and holding my hand over my crotch, wearing the rubber gloves, of course.

The next morning I called off of work after being awake most of the night. I mainly stayed naked in my bed all day masturbating, barely getting up for anything. I wanted to do nothing but let my nauseating little babies grow inside my pussy. Pretty early, though, I realized the smell was getting really horrible. I opened the window. I also wet a bath towel and stuffed it under my bedroom door. I didn't want my parents to get suspicious.

A little later on I realized that I didn't need the panties to hold the maggots and the meat inside me. The mass pretty much stayed in place as long as I laid kind of still. I thought hey, I guess that means I'm infested, which made me cum again. I was always right on the edge of orgasm, and it didn't take much to go over the edge. I also noticed that the maggots seemed to be more active if I kept my legs apart and realized that they probably needed to breathe. So that's how I stayed a lot of the time. I did get up and read my email and posted an update on my web page but I couldn't seem to think clearly enough to write much. Then I had to pee again, but I just didn't want to get up. So I just peed in the bed. It made me cum. I just wanted to keep feeling the maggots moving. And they were. They seemed even stronger, in anything. I was totally in heaven with it. I didn't eat at all, either.

I heard my parents come home from work. During the evening my mom said hello through the door and wondered why I was staying in my room like a hermit. I said I was reading a novel all the way through at once, which I actually do sometimes. She left me alone. I hoped she didn't smell anything. I surfed the Web for a while that night and looked at porn. I came a few more times. I decided to go ahead and take a shit in my bed, right where I was. That just made me more turned on and I ended up smearing some of my shit over my thighs and my pussy and cumming again. I noticed that the maggots started coming out a bit. Maybe they liked the shit. A couple tmes one would creep up on my belly. I'd just flick it back down between my legs.

I was getting tired at that point. It really was time to sleep and my vagina was throbbing and kind of sore from all of the attention. But I was most worried about making sure my maggots could breathe while I was sleeping. Somehow, I managed to find the energy to place a chair on either side of my bed and use sheets to tie my ankles to them. That would keep my legs apart during the night. I pulled the blankets over myself and dozed off lying in my piss and shit.

For the most part I slept through the night, but I kept waking up sweating, with my vagina throbbing worse. I knew I was getting a bad infection from this, but I didn't care. I was not thinking right. I could also feel maggots crawling all over me. I guess I decided I liked that and I'd play with my clit until I came again. I don't know if I realized at the time that I wasn't wearing the rubber gloves anymore. I'd fall back to sleep and wake up again later with little phrases running through my head. Other girls have babies but I give birth to decay and filth, I'd keep thinking to myself. Or I'd say I'm probably ruining my womb and I don't care, I want to be ruined. I know I must have been hallucinating from the infection. I was hoping the maggots had given up on the rotten meat and were eating my vagina instead. My fingers were buried inside my vagina, with my fingertips against part of the meat. Whenever I pressed on it, the maggots would squirm faster and I'd climax again. I could do it over and over and keep cumming.

Finally it was Tuesday morning and sunlight made me wake up. I knew I was really, really sick at that point. I felt weak and dizzy, I knew I had a fever, and now my whole lower belly was sore and throbbing. Despite all that I was still horny and I was still right on the edge of cumming. And then for some reason, all I wanted to do was see my maggots.

I pulled the blankets aside and saw that I really did have maggots crawling all over my body. I was so whacked out I loved it. But I also saw that I had a rash spreading over my tummy and my thighs, and I was soaked with sweat. And then suddenly I needed to see what it looked like between my legs. I sat up a little, picked up the hand mirror I have on the table next to my bed, and held it between my thighs.

My pussy was totally gaped wide open. I'd never seen it like that before. It reminded me of a mouth in a sick, gagging expression. My inner lips were swollen and dark purple, almost black, while my outer lips were cherry red and I was losing a layer of dead skin, like a sunburn. A stream of the light brown slime was oozing from inside my vagina and down my butt crack onto the shitty mattress. Although I could still feel a large mass of maggots and rotten meat inside me, there were maggots everywhere between my legs. Hundreds of them.

And then I saw my fingers on my pussy. They plunged deep into my vagina and dragged out a wad of slime and maggots, which I pressed hard against my clit. I remember having a huge orgasm right then, and I must have passed out. I think I was sobbing too, but I'm not sure.

And then the murders began That's all I remember until I woke up in the hospital.

[touchingcloth]

http://noel.world

He seems to be on a hiatus at the moment, but my god that was a bonkers site when it was up and running. I'll never forget the service he did me in phoning to say hello to Sidney, my Baltimora python. Sidney did not exist.

[Mister Six]

Mentioned it before on here, but here's another outing for the rather lovelyl http://www.zombo.com/ (requires sound).

First one that came to mind when I saw the thread title!

[The Bejesus]

Perfect thread to come out of the darkness!

Local artist's site:  http://973-eht-namuh-973.com

He's a lovely fella & I think this has done the rounds before.  I got a print from my dad & it's a prize possession.  Bit nuts like.

[zomgmouse]

http://www.thebeatlesneverexisted.com/

[lizzum]

A website for the UFO cult -- Cosmic People of Light

http://www.angels-light.org/english/default_en.htm

It'd be endlessly entertaining if it wasn't obvious that the man behind it is seriously unwell.

[MoonDust]

There was a website me and my mate discovered years ago that scared the shit out of us.

No graphics at all, just strings of code and text in jarringly bright colours on a dark screen, and hyperlinks fucking everywhere, but each link would send you further down this rabbit hole of more sinister looking (not sure how random text and strings of characters was sinister, but there was just a feel about it), all the while it had really dark ambient music playing in the background.

We clicked off it after 5 minutes.

Unfortunately there's no link as I've no idea what it was called. Maybe it sounds familiar to someone else?

[jobotic]

That Maggot Story is nice. Fucks sake.

Hope it's actually written by some pervy wanker and that no one actually did that.

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

http://www.thebeatlesneverexisted.com/

Aw, that's fantastic! Neil, can you re-open the 'When Was The Last Time You Cried With Laughter' thread please?

[Gurke and Hare]

I Kiss You!!!

[ASFTSN]

'Self-god' is lowest form
of behavior,  below both
family and village Cube.
You are educated stupid.

Yeah this is clearly not a joke.

Always found the correlation between "Varying font sizes and colours used across massive blocks of text" and "Career insane person" to be interesting and somewhat touching. 

[JoeyBananaduck]

Aw, that's fantastic! Neil, can you re-open the 'When Was The Last Time You Cried With Laughter' thread please?

Their HEIGHT appeared to CHANGE SLIGHTLY over the years! You can LAUGH at evidence like that?! You'll never be woke. Unwakeable.

[TheWoodenSpoon]

http://tedisgod.org

I once found myself on a page very similar to this (complete with bearded nutter proclaiming himself to be some sort of messianic figure) but I've long since lost it. He had a YouTube channel and everything, with all of his videos being nothing more than him blabbering away about stuff without actually making any sense.

[rapid relief]

love all this sort of stuff

https://shakespeareassholes.wordpress.com is a favourite

[Hugh Jass]

sereen.com  (I don't want to link directly)

God, I love stuff like this. It's so rare that you really, truly see something that makes you think "what the hell is going on", but when you do it's almost life-affirming.

Also, the page immediately downloads a video (of a CGI temple thing, I guess), just a warning for those who aren't into that.

[Gurke and Hare]

love all this sort of stuff

https://shakespeareassholes.wordpress.com is a favourite

That nails the repetition going on for so long that it become funny again thing.