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Jurassic World 2

Started by Thomas, April 29, 2017, 07:35:59 PM

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Thomas

A profitable franchise heaves on.

Jurassic World was a flashy and soulless let-down, a disappointment. Jurassic Park III was a snappy waft of air, with an offensively naff divorce storyline draped between set-pieces. Jurassic Park: The Lost World was occasionally impressive in individual scenes, but its narrative hung together like a badly assembled plaster cast fossil.

Jurassic Park is brilliant.

Jeff Goldblum has been confirmed for this latest sequel, which is mildly novel. What lines from the first film will he repeat? And a new character is coming - John Hammond's secret partner-in-cloning, thus far entirely unmentioned.

I don't know when it's coming out - 2018 or something - but I thought I'd build us this little preparatory paddock for discussion.

Is Michael Crichton's book of The Lost World good?

Steven

Quote from: Thomas on April 29, 2017, 07:35:59 PM
And a new character is coming - John Hammond's secret partner-in-cloning, thus far entirely unmentioned.

His partner will obviously be his brother David Attenborough, who has made an entire park of clones of himself so that people can go around and poke at them with sticks and voyeuristically perve and breathlessly describe their fornication rituals from a nearby bush, for a change.

Serge

Quote from: Thomas on April 29, 2017, 07:35:59 PMIs Michael Crichton's book of The Lost World good?

In a word, no. To be fair, I remember very little of it, even whether the film actually had much plot in common with it or not (it's over 20 years since I read it). The one thing I do remember is they introduce
Spoiler alert
a chameleonic dinosaur
[close]
at one point, which never gets mentioned again. (
Spoiler alert
Admittedly, they did rip that off for 'Jurassic World'.
[close]
)

I wonder if Ian Malcolm will go through yet another massive personality change again, as Malcolm in 'The Lost World' ain't the Malcolm of 'Jurassic Park'. And seriously.....how the fuck are they going to contrive getting him there again short of kidnapping?

Operty1

Science man: 'Wotcha Ian, fancy going to an island to do some maths?'

Ian: 'Course, I'm bloody good at maths'

Gets to island... Dinosaurs all knocking about because some daft sod has fucked with fences.

Ian 'aww what?'

Thomas

I imagine the film will see the action spread out from the island, now that the park idea has fucked up again. Weaponised dinosaurs was a plot seeded in the last film. Ian Malcolm will presumably appear to denounce an Evil Scheme by the army. Expect macho American soldiers and at least one Velociraptor with a stupid mounted machine gun.

Much of the fun of the original Jurassic Park is the dinosaurs existing in an absurd theme park, which they inevitably and entertainingly trample and reclaim. Take them out of that context and put them in some leafy jungle, and it becomes less interesting. I think that's a failure throughout the first two sequels, at least. We all know what dinosaurs are like in leafy jungles. And Army Dinosaurs is pure videogame bonus level fare, and I think it will be bad in a Jurassic Park story.

The first film is also very colourful, very bright and bold. Look at the logo and the cars, the blue skies and green mountains. Unafraid to sample all the paint on the palette. The second is muddy and murky,[nb]which does, to be fair, befit the mishandled-but-alright premise of the film.[/nb] the third has a horrible high-contrast richness, and Jurassic World bears the pointless sleek blue sheen of the modern blockbuster. A lot has gone missing.

Replies From View

*helicopter flies across ocean with all Jurassic Park Music playing*

*loads of pterodactyls are still flying towards Mainland America from the end of whichever film it was*


Character (speaking):  OOOHHHHH FUCKKKKK

up_the_hampipe

I love how Goldblum's character changed after the first film. In the original Jurassic Park, he was this goofy stuttering guy, but the things he saw on that island changed him. By the second film, he was all moody and sexy, he could get through sentences much better, and he didn't need glasses anymore. I guess life uhh-uhh-finds a way.

Replies From View

Quote from: up_the_hampipe on April 29, 2017, 09:24:10 PM
he didn't need glasses anymore

He was bitten by a radioactive spider between the two films.

purlieu

Quote from: Thomas on April 29, 2017, 07:35:59 PMIs Michael Crichton's book of The Lost World good?
Considerably better than the film. Actually, all they share is a premise (second island where the dinosaurs were bred), one scene (the trailers going over the cliff) and a couple of characters (Ian Malcolm and the bald dude who drives the car). Otherwise it's a completely different story. If you like Michael Crichton's slightly rigid sci-fi action fare then it does the job well, ruminates on a lot of vaguely interesting stuff about dinosaur diets and evolution and stuff and aims for a lot more intelligent than the big blockbuster film. At the same time it strangely falls into the trap of reprising lots of stuff from the first film,
Spoiler alert
in particular having a tech-savvy brother and sister again for the kids, and having Dodgson send in guys again, to nick eggs
[close]
which at least the film did away with by making most of it very different.

Anyway, this will be shit. The only redeeming factor of Jurassic World was the 'wayhey dinosaurs are back!' excitement, we really don't need any more.

greenman

Quote from: Thomas on April 29, 2017, 09:08:09 PM
I imagine the film will see the action spread out from the island, now that the park idea has fucked up again. Weaponised dinosaurs was a plot seeded in the last film. Ian Malcolm will presumably appear to denounce an Evil Scheme by the army. Expect macho American soldiers and at least one Velociraptor with a stupid mounted machine gun.

Much of the fun of the original Jurassic Park is the dinosaurs existing in an absurd theme park, which they inevitably and entertainingly trample and reclaim. Take them out of that context and put them in some leafy jungle, and it becomes less interesting. I think that's a failure throughout the first two sequels, at least. We all know what dinosaurs are like in leafy jungles. And Army Dinosaurs is pure videogame bonus level fare, and I think it will be bad in a Jurassic Park story.

The first film is also very colourful, very bright and bold. Look at the logo and the cars, the blue skies and green mountains. Unafraid to sample all the paint on the palette. The second is muddy and murky,[nb]which does, to be fair, befit the mishandled-but-alright premise of the film.[/nb] the third has a horrible high-contrast richness, and Jurassic World bears the pointless sleek blue sheen of the modern blockbuster. A lot has gone missing.

We did see in the second film that just unleashing dinosaurs in urban America is pretty dull as well, at least delt with in the kind of fashion were likely to see in a larger blockbuster like this.

The army plotline does seem like the most obvious direction to go but you wonder how far it will really be taken? seems like the US army must be treated in a broadly positive fashion in any major blockbuster these days. The most effective plotline to me would seem to be to have dinosaurs used by the army as something of a parallel to drone strikes but would Hollywood dare be that critical? post Trump perhaps it might I spose.

up_the_hampipe

Quote from: greenman on April 29, 2017, 09:53:09 PM
We did see in the second film that just unleashing dinosaurs in urban America is pretty dull as well, at least delt with in the kind of fashion were likely to see in a larger blockbuster like this.

That bit where the T-Rex roams around San Diego eating dogs and chasing buses is the reason why the second film is my favourite of the original trilogy.

Replies From View

The shittest thing about Jurassic World was that it was all in fucking teal and orange yet again.





ENOUGH of this.  If they could put a few more colours in Jurassic World 2 it'd honestly give the franchise a whole new lease of life.

This era of Hollywood (and television that's using the same aesthetic) is going to date so badly.

up_the_hampipe

The worst bit was surely all the real dinosaurs uniting to defeat the fake dinosaur at the end. The T-Rex and raptor practically nod and part ways after the fight. I laughed hard.

Replies From View

Quote from: up_the_hampipe on April 29, 2017, 10:18:43 PM
The worst bit was surely all the real dinosaurs uniting to defeat the fake dinosaur at the end. The T-Rex and raptor practically nod and part ways after the fight. I laughed hard.

I couldn't see it through the teal and orange.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: up_the_hampipe on April 29, 2017, 10:18:43 PM
The worst bit was surely all the real dinosaurs uniting to defeat the fake dinosaur at the end. The T-Rex and raptor practically nod and part ways after the fight. I laughed hard.

Millions lapped it up. Lapped it up.

Fucking hell it was shit.

Apparently all people want now is the shame shit done again. Iphones, Fast and Furious, Jurassic World, shit out the same shit with the brand-u-like.

This time around they can't even make references to the original film.

Dismal, if anyone asks me if I'm going or want to go and see it I will physically attack them.

Glebe

Quote from: Replies From View on April 29, 2017, 10:12:29 PMThe shittest thing about Jurassic World was that it was all in fucking teal and orange yet again.

Yet again.

greenman

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 30, 2017, 07:45:23 AM
Millions lapped it up. Lapped it up.

Fucking hell it was shit.

Apparently all people want now is the shame shit done again. Iphones, Fast and Furious, Jurassic World, shit out the same shit with the brand-u-like.

This time around they can't even make references to the original film.

Dismal, if anyone asks me if I'm going or want to go and see it I will physically attack them.

Honestly though CaB doesn't seem much different here, any blockbuster that doesn't feature a light tone with constant action and metahumour seems to be disliked in a blokish "I'm not a geek honest" fashion.

Replies From View

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 30, 2017, 07:45:23 AM
This time around they can't even make references to the original film.

The film isn't allowed to reference Jurassic Park?  How come?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Replies From View on April 30, 2017, 11:07:33 AM
The film isn't allowed to reference Jurassic Park?  How come?

The law

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: greenman on April 30, 2017, 10:28:15 AM
Honestly though CaB doesn't seem much different here, any blockbuster that doesn't feature a light tone with constant action and metahumour seems to be disliked in a blokish "I'm not a geek honest" fashion.

Fuck off Marvel
Fuck off DC
Fuck off wisecracking bodybuilders metahumour
Fuck off cgi
Fuck off cash in brand sequels

Grave
Grave
Grave
Grave
Grave

Thomas

Quote from: Replies From View on April 29, 2017, 10:12:29 PM
The shittest thing about Jurassic World was that it was all in fucking teal and orange yet again.





ENOUGH of this.  If they could put a few more colours in Jurassic World 2 it'd honestly give the franchise a whole new lease of life.

This era of Hollywood (and television that's using the same aesthetic) is going to date so badly.

As evidenced in my ode to the bright and broad colour pallette of the original Jurassic Park, I couldn't agree more with Replies on this matter and will defend his zealous criticism until Hollywood takes the hint.

Replies From View


Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Quote from: greenman on April 29, 2017, 09:53:09 PM
The most effective plotline to me would seem to be to have dinosaurs used by the army as something of a parallel to drone strikes but would Hollywood dare be that critical?
Captain America 2 did.

biggytitbo

Hopefully there will be some King Kongs in this.

greenman

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 30, 2017, 11:19:10 AM
Fuck off Marvel
Fuck off DC
Fuck off wisecracking bodybuilders metahumour
Fuck off cgi
Fuck off cash in brand sequels

Grave
Grave
Grave
Grave
Grave

I'm thinking stuff like Rogue One and the Ghost in the Shell film, which whilst they were "brand" films did seem to break somewhat away from this formula and whilst not faultless drew some "fucking boring mate" kind of comments pretty often here.

MuteBanana

"Ian why aren't you running?"
"Why run when you can rule"


Would be awesome.

Replies From View

Peter Capaldi has let himself go.

Replies From View

Quote from: biggytitbo on April 30, 2017, 01:16:09 PM
Hopefully there will be some King Kongs in this.

I'm hoping for at least eight.

Thomas

I hope that one day, when Jurassic Park/World has become a long, winding, loosely connected franchise like Godzilla, I get to write one of the instalments.

It will be Victorian Jurassic Park, with John Hammond as a top-hatted industrialist, inviting palaeontologist Richard Owen, Charles Darwin, and Arthur Conan Doyle to his fantastical park on the Isle of Wight, complete with Crystal Palace-style dinosaurs. Russian mathematician-of-the-time Sofia Kovalevskaya will play the 'chaotician' role, figuring out that it'll all go to shit despite the hubris of the men.

Nobody steal my idea or I'll print out this thread and take you to court for plagiarism. 

Serge

Still waiting for someone to take up one of my two ideas for the franchise: No dinosaurs, just plants or dinosaurs fucking.