Incredibly shit advertising slogans

[kngen]

This is pretty much just a vehicle for me to exorcise a long-standing hatred of an adver that used to run on the back of the Guardian (by If ... and the crossword) for fucking years, that said:

'While there's nothing like a dame, there's nothing like a Theatre Gift Token, too!'

which is just unbelievably poor. And yet, I still remember it - so I suppose it did its job. (You could cut my balls off before you could force me to buy a Theatre Gift Token, though. Cunts.)

So yes, a repository for all the clunky and poorly conceived ad slogans that exist outside the auspices of the CabMen thread.

[Sydward Lartle]

Sketchley's 'we know the meaning of cleaning'.

I should fucking hope you do, you're a dry cleaner's for fuck's sake.

[Tombola]

Just give it to me straight like a pear cider that's made from 100% pears.

[Ptolemy Ptarmigan]

"Freddie Barrett needs your money."

http://youtu.be/mtiTrGyPIzw?t=11

https://youtu.be/_lNXfpFtxgI?t=135

http://youtu.be/p_bEHS0MfwY?t=189

[kngen]

Wow!

[Icehaven]

Radio jingles from Mercia FM in the 80s/90s

"Do yourself a favour,
  be a liquor saver."

For offie chain called, amazingly, Liquor Savers.

And

"Aubrey Allen,
we've got all kinds of meat
you'll be wanting to eat,
  Aubrey Allen."

For a butcher's called, amazingly, Aubrey Allen.

[MuteBanana]

I discovered a fish shop the other day called Aquacadabra with the slogan fish keeping with a touch of magic.

[Sydward Lartle]

Radio jingle for a Northampton-based television rental shop during the 90s...

Ten pound cheaper than anybody
Ten pound cheaper than anyone
Ten pound cheaper at Colourvision
For ten pound you get a lot of fun

[Mr Banlon]

General Motors: 'People building transportation to serve people'

[Bhazor]

http://youtu.be/mtiTrGyPIzw?t=11

I'm more confused that they used a clearly blind man to advertise 3D glasses.

[Bhazor]

Sketchley's 'we know the meaning of cleaning'.

I should fucking hope you do, you're a dry cleaner's for fuck's sake.

The mensing of clensing

[DrGreggles]

[Utter Shit]

The Co-op...good with food

Fine if you're in Scotland, otherwise it just doesn't work pronunciation-wise. It's either gewd with fewd or gudd with fudd.

[Sydward Lartle]

A lot of the rhyming couplets in the Beano and Dandy only work with a Scottish accent, most notably Pansy Potter, the strongman's dotter.

[Porter Dimi]

For a brief time, WWE was advertising their WWE Network streaming service with the tagline "Like Netflix, but better." Even if you live and die by professional wrestling, this is a very difficult statement to support.

[jobotic]

This has probably been in a Peter Kay routine, but fuck it.

"Everything you want from a store, and a little bit more".

I don't want a little bit more than everything I want thanks.

[Sydward Lartle]

'Frosties - they're great!'

From the same genius minds who brought you...

'Marmite - it's brown!'

'HP Sauce - it's a fucking sauce!'

[Quincey]

Coop ad on bus showing some items and saying You could save £1.22.

I think the butchers meat in your mouth one is excellent though.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

What will make you say 'Oh Horlicks' today?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

[sillymisslily]

General Motors: 'People building transportation to serve people'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApvLnY4GJqU

[chocky909]

My favorite local shop sign I pass most days...



Also my dad's friend made up some business cards for his budding home massage business.

"Aiden's Massage Therapy - It Gets No Better"

[Glebe]

Just off to the right, Dexys are singing 'Come on Eileen'.

[Phil_A]

Also my dad's friend made up some business cards for his budding home massage business.

"Aiden's Massage Therapy - It Gets No Better"

Haha! That's great. A side order of existential despair to go with your massage, sir?