I hate Bear Grylls

[SpiderChrist]

and all those cunts on his wanky TV programme.

"It was a wild animal, we had to kill it cos we was starving mate."

Well, if you hadn't decided to get deliberately "stranded" on an island just to get your cunty fucking boat on the telly, you wouldn't have been starving in the first place, so go fuck yourself.

[Eis Nein]

Isn't even a real bear.

You gave to hand it to Grylls. He wanted to spend his days swilling piss in the tropics surrounded by kowtowing flunkies, and he made that happen.

[BlodwynPig]

and all those cunts on his wanky TV programme.

"It was a wild animal, we had to kill it cos we was starving mate."

Well, if you hadn't decided to get deliberately "stranded" on an island just to get your cunty fucking boat on the telly, you wouldn't have been starving in the first place, so go fuck yourself.

its a good point.

"oh woe is me"

fuck off, you engineered this mise-en-scene for the sake of telly.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Most TV survivalists seem like pricks; Mears gets a pass but Fogle, Grylls et al they can do one.

[Custard]

Bear Grylls seems like the kind of man who'd stay over your house and leave a big skid in the toilet

[Norton Canes]

Then lick it for protein

[doppelkorn]

Grylls is a master in stating the fucking obvious. When I was in Cubs I had enough knowledge to provide the "survival expert" commentary he gives to the dog and pony shitshow that is The Island.

Water is important
Don't let your firewood go in the sea
Don't make a camp on a crocodile

Last year the girls' camp drank swamp water for days and they all got the squits. I bet he loved that, the dirty bastard.

[doppelkorn]

The other thing about Bear Grylls is that he's done the Alpha Course and appears on their banners at my local church.

[Bad Ambassador]

He also writes for Sorted, a magazine for Old Testament evangelicals, which opposes gay rights and is anti-choice, on the grounds that women are too silly to make that kind of decision and need a man to do it for them. Bear Grylls is a piece of shit.

[im barry bethel]

Be prepared for any emergency with your







But most importantly, you gotta have a knife




Though you can save yourself £30 if you shop at Wilkinsons

[doppelkorn]

So we're all agreed let's find and dismember Bear Grylls?

[Captain Poodle Basher]

He also writes for Sorted, a magazine for Old Testament evangelicals, which opposes gay rights and is anti-choice, on the grounds that women are too silly to make that kind of decision and need a man to do it for them. Bear Grylls is a piece of shit.

Ah. That's interesting. A few years ago, a female friend of mine fell foul of the denizens from a couple of MRA sites. As I was doing some looking into stuff, I noticed how many MRA types were very much into all that survivalist stuff - it all fits now.

[yesitsme]

Isn't even a real bear.

Or a Grille.

Yeah, me too.  Fed up of all these ponces quitting the rat race and fleeing to some made for TV Castaway Island or a mosquito infested mango swamp in the middle of nowhere waiting for Bear, Fogle, him of Eastenders, that Grand Designs cunt, that beardy twat or Chris Tarrant to turn up and marvel at how they've 'made it work for them'.

Fuck off.  We all know you spend your nights sleppless terrified of leopard attacks, tsunamis, mud slides or any permutation of these and more.

Yeah you've left the 'rat race' but you've got £20m sat in a bank account waiting for you and as soon as the cameras stop Mears and the crew promptly fuck off to the nearest 5 star hotel.

Sometimes it's strange to think that most telly is fake as fuck.

Point of order this thread should be called 'When did you get sick to fucking death of Bear Grylls'.

[Bad Ambassador]

A friend of mine used to work for Ray Mears, and apparently he was a bit of an arsehole, but he has nothing on the moral vacuum of Grylls.

[mothman]

This seems to be the prevailing wisdom. I think I'd sooner be stuck on a desert island with Mears rather than Grylls.

Couple of my closest friends st work, they love anything with Bear Grylls. And Guy Martin. Read nothing but sportsmen's and musicians' "auto"biographies...

[Bad Ambassador]

Your friends are morons.

[Norton Canes]

Who deserved to be morooned.

[DrunkCountry]

A friend of mine used to work for Ray Mears

At his survival business/grounds/office or part of his TV production crew?

[yesitsme]

I think we all know that every single one of these khaki clad arseholes would be dead within an hour of being washed up on the beach at Troon let alone the shore of Tugamunkgakkka Island.

The Bush Tucker Man started all this.  I remember one episode where he plucked some horrible grub from a wasps nest and informed us through the stings that, if pushed we could eat 'this' but it would 'kill us'.  Thanks a fucking bunch for that you Aussie twat.

Expect to see Ant 'n' Dec force feeding one of these to Peter Sissons anytime soon.

[mothman]

Your friends are morons.

I'm not sure I'd put it in quite those terms - they really are very good, genuine friends who've helped me with some pretty serious shit at work - but yeah.

Who deserved to be morooned.

Given the last time we all went for one of our occasional country hikes, a six-mile walk turned by bad navigation into a nine-mile walk, that'd probably be a death sentence...

[greenman]

This seems to be the prevailing wisdom. I think I'd sooner be stuck on a desert island with Mears rather than Grylls.

Couple of my closest friends st work, they love anything with Bear Grylls. And Guy Martin. Read nothing but sportsmen's and musicians' "auto"biographies...

I'd feel less guilty eating Gylls though.

[doppelkorn]

Can I just step in here and draw a very firm line between your Gryllses, your McClouds and your Nigel Slaters on the one hand, and your Mearses, your Martins and your Fogles on the other? Thanks in advance.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fogle's a bigger prick than Grylls mate.

[Bad Ambassador]

At his survival business/grounds/office or part of his TV production crew?

They worked in his cardboard bastard factory.

I'm not sure I'd put it in quite those terms - they really are very good, genuine friends who've helped me with some pretty serious shit at work - but yeah.

A bit harsh, and I'm glad they're good to work with, but I've no tolerance for anyone whose literary input extends no further than that sort of crap.

[yesitsme]

It can't be long until they all emerge from opposite sides of a jungle clearing, camera crews akimbo to find themselves staring at each other.  On the tracks of a commercial banker (natch) and his lawyer wife (natchtoo) who've grown weary of the 4 hour daily commute and their two young children so they've decided to live like fucking animals in this paramilitary war lord controlled death zone.

As Grylls looks at Fogle he looks at Mears who looks at Kirsty who looks at Jimmy who turns to Davina and they all realise they've been lured here under false pretences.

From the bush they hear a twig snap.

[doppelkorn]

Fogle's a bigger prick than Grylls mate.

Did you watch Earth's Wildest Waters: The Big Fish? Because really we should cancel this forum and make a new one dedicated to just that show. If you didn't watch it you have absolutely no right to lay into Fogle. No right.

[mothman]

A bit harsh, and I'm glad they're good to work with, but I've no tolerance for anyone whose literary input extends no further than that sort of crap.

I'm considered the intellectual of our group...

[checkoutgirl]

Most TV survivalists seem like pricks; Mears gets a pass but Fogle, Grylls et al they can do one.

Mears is likable, Grills is dislikable. Don't know why.

[yesitsme]

Did you watch Earth's Wildest Waters: The Big Fish? Because really we should cancel this forum and make a new one dedicated to just that show. If you didn't watch it you have absolutely no right to lay into Fogle. No right.

Was that the one where he went swimming in croc infested rivers?  The bloke with him assuring him that they weren't 'bitey' at this time of year and as we know nature recognises and respects the cult of celebrity.

You first pal.

You first.

[Eis Nein]

Mears is likable, Grills is dislikable. Don't know why.

Due mainly to the preposterous conceit of him eking an existence sucking lichen and eating berries, when he clearly has a walk-in freezer for his Sara Lee.


The only survival guy worth his salt is that Canadian lad who carries his own gear. Moose Wilkins, I think. Kevin Sandals. You wouldn't see Grylls spending a full hour rubbing sticks together like Kev does.