The Fingerfiend

[Mr Brightside]

Tonight, when the clock strikes eleven, wait a couple of minutes until it gets to 11.02, and then go in the bathroom, switch the lights off, and stand with your back to the bathroom mirror. Take down your trousers and underwear (if you're wearing any) and bend over. Fart thrice, saying a unique phrase between each toot, as so . . .

*Fart*
'Oh, Fingerfiend, Fingerfiend, bring forth thy hands'
*Fart*
'Oh, Fingerfiend, Fingerfiend, hear these demands'
*Fart*
'Oh, Fingerfiend, Fingerfiend, heed my commands'

Two hands will then come through the mirror, for you have opened a portal between worlds. These hands belong to what we Earth-dwellers call The Fingerfiend. He will slide the middle of finger of one hand (unlubed) up your arse and use his other hand to reach around and milk your cock. The middle fingers of The Fingerfiend are nine inches in length and six in girth. When you cum buckets, his hands will retract into his realm and the portal will close. From your gaping arse, out will slide a baby cacodemon. Failure to raise the cacodemon and get it into a good school will result in your death.

[cptspalding]

Is there a version where I can stay on the sofa?

[cptspalding]

Guess not

[Mr Brightside]

Is there a version where I can stay on the sofa?

No.

[Glebe]

I don't know what to do. I'm frightened and confused.

[JoeyBananaduck]

I don't fancy that much.

[Glebe]

Is there a version where I can stay on the sofa?

I wouldn't go near that fucking sofa. It's fucking saturated with cum.

[cptspalding]

Fell asleep on it, can't get off it :(