Author Topic: Open Fly Anxiety  (Read 309 times)

Open Fly Anxiety
« on: May 19, 2017, 06:22:51 pm »
Lately, when walking past people on the street, I've been worrying if my fly is open. They approach, I'm struck by the thought, and I have to have a quick glance at my crotch to check. I've never had this before, never given any thought to it. It's a recent development. My fly being open would be worse for me than for most people because I don't wear underwear and if it was open it would be a full on cock flash, but I haven't worn any since 2004, so I don't think that has anything to do with it. Does anyone else have this issue? If so, how did you cure yourself?

Bhazor

  • Are you rolling your own jelly babies in there?
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2017, 06:24:14 pm »
Easy solution, don't wear underwear and always walk into the wind.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • dipped in pine scented bleach
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2017, 06:25:28 pm »
Worrying if it is open?

I have a tactic.

Take your penis and expose it to the world.

There, now you have no need to worry about whether your fly is open or not

Brundle-Fly

  • We'd rather be mugs than smug
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2017, 06:27:26 pm »
I'll be entirely honest here, this is when I worry needlessly about there not being tags anymore.

Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2017, 06:27:52 pm »
You shouldn't care. My flies down all the time, I don't give a shit. Other people point it out like it matters, and they've 'got you', and the social expectation is you have to pretend like you care, but really fuck em.

This is all you need:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Yh-rkh5hWA

Attila

  • gif made by hedgehog90
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2017, 06:34:19 pm »
A story I like to bring out (har) every opportunity: Mr Attila had to avoid the local Pets R Us or whatever it was for over a year cos he went out there once to get some cat stuff, chatting away to the girl at the till, baffled that she was not replying to his cheerful sallies, avoiding eye contact, and working quickly to get the transaction over and one with asap.

Headed out to the car, he noted that the day seemed mighty mild and breezy, more so than he'd reckoned, especially below the belt. Only when he got to the car did he realise that his flies were undone, and he was flapping out in the breeze (he goes commando).

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2017, 06:39:44 pm »
Its ok as long as you don't wear your trousers backwards and show everyone your anus hole.

Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2017, 06:50:55 pm »
For button flies it is fine, too much work, but for zip flies it is just lazy. I'm bringing the nightshirt/nightcap combo back into fashion, very simple, and you don't have to worry about all this fly business, you've got bobble orientation to worry about, but the average high-street punter won't notice, won't be haw-hawing and belching his eel pie all down you.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • dipped in pine scented bleach
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2017, 06:51:38 pm »
Its ok as long as you don't wear your trousers backwards and show everyone your anus hole.

What if I wear my trousers backwards ans show everyone your anus hole?

Dex Sawash

  • Upph√§ngningspunkterna
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2017, 02:16:00 am »
Unbutton your trousers, if your fly comes open you will then be alerted to this by your trousers falling down.

Mr Eggs

  • KING BELLEND
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • BELLEND
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2017, 04:28:59 am »
When it hits me in the face when I run for the bus.

Mr Eggs

  • KING BELLEND
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • BELLEND
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2017, 04:29:46 am »
As if I've ever run for a bus.

Ian Drunken Smurf

  • Strong and stable my arse
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • #MakeJunetheEndofMay
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2017, 08:57:44 am »
There was me thinking this was some kind of air traffic control thread post-Brexit...

Replies From View

  • Hand-me-down Pyjamas and
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant
Re: Open Fly Anxiety
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2017, 04:16:10 pm »
Its ok as long as you don't wear your trousers backwards and show everyone your anus hole.

Hmm, you've changed your tune.