Lifetime's supply

[touchingcloth]

I was watching some RuPaul's Drag Race earlier, and the series prize - a lifetime's supply of cosmetics - set me wondering. Have any of you ever won one of these things, or worked for a company that gave them out? Do the lucky winners get dumped the full supply all in one go, which for something like Coca Cola or firewood would be quite the albatross, or so they give you a special number to dial whenever you've run out of Marmite or Veet or whatever?

What would you most like to win a lifetime's supply of? For me it would be WISHES.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Cash.

Failing that gak.

[Icehaven]

WINE. Although the supplier would ultimately win, t'would be a short life.

[Steven]

It's all PR. They usually just give you a weeks worth, then hire a hit-man.

[Glebe]

Milverton.

[Sherman Krank]

A lifetime's supply of life...no wait...a lifetime's supply of time...no...a lifetime's supply of supplies.........................fuck it, I'll just have the speedboat.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

I won "a year's supply of Guinness" which ultimately proved to be a pint of Guinness a night for a year. Was nice knowing that I always had a pint in my local - although it was done via a token a day - all dated...

[touchingcloth]

I googled this and found a thread on the subject on Reddit, but had to stop reading very quickly because every single post was written in ALLCAPS. Is this normal? Does Reddit have a lifetime's supply?

[JoeyBananaduck]

Underwear. New pair of pants and socks every day, through the letterbox first thing. No fucking about on a morning trying to find a clean pair. Bloody lovely.

[Chairman Bodog]

Wages.

Butterscotch.

Lifetime Supplies.

[olliebean]

I won "a year's supply of Guinness" which ultimately proved to be a pint of Guinness a night for a year. Was nice knowing that I always had a pint in my local - although it was done via a token a day - all dated...

You were lucky there. A friend once won "a year's supply of pizza," which turned out to be one free pizza per month for a year. I'd have thought one a week was a reasonable expectation, one a fortnight acceptable but pushing it, one a month just taking the pizz.

[Endicott]

Cash.

Failing that gak.

Cash would pay for gak. 1/10 shows lack of imagination

What would you most like to win a lifetime's supply of? For me it would be WISHES.

CLOSE THREAD.

[checkoutgirl]

If a pint a day for a year is a year's supply of Guinness and a pizza a month is a year's supply of pizza then it's clear that the key word here is "supply" and how it is interpreted by the supply-ers. And as the OP suggests, it's open to endless interpretation.

I am supplying you with a thimble full of beer a day, everyday for the rest of your life. It's literally a lifetime supply of beer. Just a very small amount that is being supplied each time. Read the small print Jack.

So we're basically in a how long is a piece of string situation. What fucking use is a single pint of Guinness? Are you allowed to stockpile the tokens so that you can go and get a stock of 30 cans at the end of the month? Now that might be useful. The one pizza a month is just crap. A total swizz.

For the average Irish person a year's supply of Guinness would be about a thousand pints over the year. Anything less would be seen as a con. But you didn't pay for it so it's hard to argue. And the people supplying know this. It just sounds good but would rarely be as good as it sounds. The perfect PR gimmick.

[checkoutgirl]

Oh and my choice would be a lifetime supply of either restaurant visits in my city or failing that free taxis for the rest of my life. I wouldn't go for booze or drugs because I'd just become a hopeless addict and that would just spoil it.

[Mr Brightside]

I won a camera for life in the late 90s in a Sun newspaper competiton. You took pics, posted the camera back, and a few weeks later received the developed pics and the camera with fresh film in it. It was just one of those cheap plastic cameras. I lost the camera in about 2002.

[BlodwynPig]

Desolation

[biggytitbo]

I'd like a lifetime's supply of peas.

[Icehaven]

Underwear. New pair of pants and socks every day, through the letterbox first thing. No fucking about on a morning trying to find a clean pair. Bloody lovely.

Oh my God you're a genius, this (plus a bra) this this this.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'd like a lifetime's supply of peas.

look under the freezer, there's always some there.

[Mr Brightside]

Underwear. New pair of pants and socks every day, through the letterbox first thing. No fucking about on a morning trying to find a clean pair. Bloody lovely.

You ever thought about not wearing any? I've been underwear-free for about a decade now. I could never go back.

[olliebean]

Seems pretty clear the idea is they give you some of the thing but not enough, in the hope you'll buy more to make up the difference.

[WesterlyWinds]

A life times supply of happiness please

[Sebastian Cobb]

Cash would pay for gak. 1/10 shows lack of imagination

Which is why I said 'failing that' you gype.

[checkoutgirl]

I've been underwear-free for about a decade now.

Hence the importance of the wet pass.

[Glebe]

Eric Pickles: Mars Bars.

[touchingcloth]

Some of the people in the Reddit (urgh) thread had some good experiences. One person bought a water softener for their house which came with a lifetime's supply of bars of soap, but the soap was delivered all in one go on a pallet - imagine the inconvenience of that when you next came to move house.

Another person won, without knowing quite how, a lifetime's supply of toilet rolls just for having once taken a market research survey for Andrex, and it just kept on arriving in packs of four week on week on week for twenty years like some kind of bog roll version of the tragedy of Sisyphus, or Triangle but with Labrador puppies.

A lot of people had tales of having foods and drinks delivered regularly as part of their "prize", the invariable outcome being that they got sick to the stomach of the stuff in about two weeks, and eventually couldn't even palm it off on their friends, families or local food banks for love nor money. Slow Midas.

The best story was from someone who complained via letter that a box of laundry detergent they'd bought wasn't full to the brim, and so Daz delivered them, unbidden, a lifetime's supply delivered on the back of a lorry. You'll rue to day you ignored that "contents may settle during transit" disclaimer.

[pancreas]

My parents gave me a lifetime supply of life and I've never looked back. Except for that thing with the rope and the light-fitting in 2003. And the locked up garage and the carbon monoxide fumes from the Vauxhall Corsa in 2005. And the methadone accident in 2006. And the unexpected defenestration of 2008. And the close-call with the meat slicer in 2008. And the paracetamol-based cry-for-help in 2008. And the dive into the piranha pool in 2009.

I love being a live.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A year's supply of factories.

[thenoise]

<tag>fanny</tag>

[Icehaven]

Some of the people in the Reddit (urgh) thread had some good experiences. One person bought a water softener for their house which came with a lifetime's supply of bars of soap, but the soap was delivered all in one go on a pallet - imagine the inconvenience of that when you next came to move house.

Another person won, without knowing quite how, a lifetime's supply of toilet rolls just for having once taken a market research survey for Andrex, and it just kept on arriving in packs of four week on week on week for twenty years like some kind of bog roll version of the tragedy of Sisyphus, or Triangle but with Labrador puppies.

A lot of people had tales of having foods and drinks delivered regularly as part of their "prize", the invariable outcome being that they got sick to the stomach of the stuff in about two weeks, and eventually couldn't even palm it off on their friends, families or local food banks for love nor money. Slow Midas.

The best story was from someone who complained via letter that a box of laundry detergent they'd bought wasn't full to the brim, and so Daz delivered them, unbidden, a lifetime's supply delivered on the back of a lorry. You'll rue to day you ignored that "contents may settle during transit" disclaimer.

But but but...I don't like all this guesstimating how much a 'lifetime's' supply is, what if you're absurdly profligate with whatever it is? Or what if you die three weeks later, can you leave it to someone or do they come and take it back again? ''Mrs. Parker? Hello this is Martyn from Cussons Pearl, we were so sorry to hear about your loss, however as per the lifetime supply contract agreement given that we considerably overestimated the necessary provision, we will be calling to collect the surplus next Tuesday, so if you could have the remaining 9,998 bars palletted back up and ready to go by 10am that would be great, thanks.''