Pippa Middleton ties the knot with her famous anus

[touchingcloth]

Do you care? Even if you don't, which you shouldn't, it seems like it's going to be hard to avoid reports of today's nuptials between a woman best known for being the sister of a personalised marshmallow entrepreneur and some bloke.

Get in a fucking sea of cum.

[BlodwynPig]

According to BBC, the Americans and Aussies are glued to their TVs waiting for this to start

[Urinal Cake]

Isn't this really about Harry's missus? It's good that the royal are equal opportunity fuckers. His mother liked the darker stuff too just to cancel out Prince Phillip's shit. Also being married to an American will do more for UK-American relations than the war in Iraq.

Pippa is just a bridesmaid at her own wedding.

[touchingcloth]

Harry? Harry Stiles?

[Blue Jam]

Has Uncle Legend Gary chinned anyone yet?

[touchingcloth]

"What kind of stock are you having your wedding photographs printed on, Pip-Pip? Lay-flat ultra-high-grammage silk coated cardstock? Liquid digital ink on archival paper? Vellum? Vellum's nice."

"Marshmallows."

[greencalx]

I think you mean gluteus maximus rather than anus, as I don't recall the latter being beamed into millions of households (although maybe it was and I was watching the other side). Or perhaps you were referring to her fiancé?

[touchingcloth]

I think you mean gluteus maximus rather than anus, as I don't recall the latter being beamed into millions of households (although maybe it was and I was watching the other side). Or perhaps you were referring to her fiancé?

When Kate Middleton got married to some guy best known for not flying helicopters, Pippa was a guest and the lenses of the world's media focussed and zoomed in on her anus before publishing pictures of that same anus the next day. Were you living under a fucking rock at the time?

[Blue Jam]

Has Spencer from The Bachelor tried it on with the bridesmaids yet?

[Blue Jam]

Pippa is just a bridesmaid at her own wedding.

Pippa, the bride being upstaged at her own wedding? Kate must be guffawing into her champagne right now.

[Urinal Cake]

Pippa, the bride being upstaged at her own wedding? Kate must be guffawing into her champagne right now.

It will be English Sparkling White from a vineyard of a family friend. Is Jack Whitehall invited?

[Glebe]

Is it Pippa Middleton or Pippa Middleton's Arse that's getting married? I'm confused.

In any case, congrats, Pippa! Or your Arse.

[Nooses Give]

In Swedish, "pippa" is a verb that means "to fuck". You can imagine how many hilarious jokes on this theme there are about Pippi Longstockings.

I distinctly remember Pippas anus being shown; it was brownish and belching and made me rock hard.

[Blue Jam]

It will be English Sparkling White from a vineyard of a family friend. Is Jack Whitehall invited?

Jack Whitehall is way too posh to be hanging out with the likes of the Middletons.

Obviously I'm following all the latest developments here:

http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/index.php/topic,9190.0.html

There is a dress code forbidding revealing outfits and an etiquette rule discouraging guests from talking to the Royals, unless spoken to first.

Who do they think they are? So much for Mr and Mrs Modern.

[Glebe]

I distinctly remember Pippas anus being shown; it was brownish and belching and made me rock hard.

You shouldn't have said that, mate. You shouldn't have said that.

*hopes unsucessfully that image won't haunt me forever*

[Blue Jam]

I doubt Pippa's anus is brown. It's probably as orange as the rest of her.

[Anagram of a Shit Name]

To be fair, tying a knot with one's anus is quite the party trick.

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's not actually her arse. They use a stunt arse for the photos, like they did with Susan George in Straw Dogs.

[Blue Jam]

To be fair, tying a knot with one's anus is quite the party trick.

There are detailed instructions in her party planning book, available for £1.99 from all good branches of The Works.

(I had wanted to tag this thread with "Watch out, David Blaine")

[touchingcloth]

To be fair, tying a knot with one's anus is quite the party trick.

Seductive come-ons in the form of tying a knot in a cherry stem with one's tongue are totally passé now, and the kids of today can be seen in the dancehalls and the discothèques thumbing lengths of climbing cord into their arseholes ready for a spot of nuclear flirting.

Of course, the true connoisseur eschews stems, cords, ropes and other apparatus, opting instead to use nothing more than deft peristalsis to knot their large intestine before prolapsing their colon with a flourish and a wink in the direction of the object of their desire.

[im barry bethel]

Just finished the wedding breakfast and looking out the window I can tell you the weather doesn't look good

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hope everyone concerned in any way about this is afflicted by an enormous boil today.

[batwings]

Yeah, a balloon knot. Right?

[Blue Jam]

The Smother Of The Bride has arrived with StayPuft, fittingly dressed as a marshmallow:

The Viper's face is so bloated and puffed up that her eyes are just little slits. She's obviously been getting the same filler as her Potato Head daughter Council Cath

Royal Gossip forum, I love you.

[touchingcloth]

There is a dress code forbidding revealing outfits and an etiquette rule discouraging guests from talking to the Royals, unless spoken to first.

Who do they think they are? So much for Mr and Mrs Modern.

I've just had a google for this dress code and etiquette guide to see what it actually contains, but sadly it doesn't seem to exist outside of hearsay. My googling did throw up this, though, which suggests that guests have been asked to bring a second outfit for the reception - huge if true. And also, if true, will they be laying on changing rooms for their guests to switch outfits, or will they just be expected to strip in the middle of Alton Towers or wherever this thing is taking place?

[Glebe]

There are detailed instructions in her party planning book, available for £1.99 from all good branches of The Works.

I got mine from Poundland.

[Custard]

She's been on the hunt for someone rich to marry for quite a while

CONGRATS PIPPA AND YOUR ARSE

[Attila]

The Smother Of The Bride has arrived with StayPuft, fittingly dressed as a marshmallow:



Royal Gossip forum, I love you.

There's my tak-a-break from marking exams sorted.

Also, who is the royal nose-picker?



Is Princess Charlotte's actual dad Mickey Dolenz?

[touchingcloth]

She's been on the hunt for someone rich to marry for quite a while

And yet she's chosen to marry a garden centre manager. Fair play to her, I always assumed she'd be the type to go for some hotshot from the world of finance.

[touchingcloth]

Can you imagine how utterly fantastic it would be if ISIS were hiding in the shadows and just suddenly beheaded the lot of them?