Going Out = Shit. For. Cunts.

[saltysnacks]

O ye, of little faith.

[Thursday]

The problem for me now, isn't so much "I don't like going out" thing, it's just that at the end of the week, I'm so relived that I can lounge about at home without a worry or care, that it makes the prospect of going out seem like such an obligation. I find I struggle to enjoy Sunday's now because Monday is peering over the corner.

Sure, I spend weeknights on the internet/playing videogames/watching tv. But on Friday's and Saturday's I can do it without the worry of work the next day. That time is rare and precious. Why would I want to throw it away?

Basically 5 days/40 hour weeks is too fucking much, and will drive me insane. I'm not sure how we haven't all collectively as a society just gone "nah mate"

[Icehaven]

I seemed to like going to nightclubs for a lot longer than most other people my age that I know (although bearing in mind I went to rock/indie clubs, so there's generally a bit of an older crowd anyway), and used to worry that I'd end up like Irvine Welsh, still boasting about being 'able' (as in actually wanting) to go out all night when I was pushing 50, however I'm pleased to say a few years ago the desire waned and now at the grand old age of 38 I couldn't care less if I never went to one again. I still very much enjoy going on the lash though so I'm lucky I live in a time/place in which a good few pubs are open until the early hours most nights, so wanting to keep drinking after 11pm doesn't have to mean going to the offy and going home.   

[Cloud]

Town looked absolutely mental when I was passing through just now.  Pubs bursting with people, people shouting and staggering over the roads..  Sunny bank holiday weekend = double plus nothanks!

[QDRPHNC]

You don't fucking live in north america, eh? EH?

[Cloud]

Me?  Northern England.  I'd have tried to run away from America by now!

[Bhazor]

Never liked going for nights out. Never end up having fun, everything's so expensive and I could never stand drunks and when I did get dragged out something always goes wrong like I get a plastic glass of beer tossed over me when a fight breaks out nearby. The one half decent thing was young ladies in clubbing gear but thats a whole other crap shoot on its own. Hot pants need tighter regulations.

Offy, six pack of cider, round of multiplayer whatever, a random pound shop film and a pizza. Now what club can beat that?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Going out to the pub, and often to bars has always been one of my favourite things. The social aspect in particular, whether that's just sitting down for an indepth discussion, or catching up, or sitting in the sunshine, or even if you're on your own, just whiling away an hour soaking up the atmosphere somewhere listening to the conversations and occasionally talking to strangers.

It's best to keep things mixed up. Play computer games, watch films and telly, sure, but don't forget to leave your house once in a fucking while either. The community feel of a good pub, say, The Red Deer in Sheffield for example is like tracing a continuous line of social history and being part of that if only for a short time. Not everyone you meet out at the pub is Bohumil Hrabal, but that's not the point, he embodied the kind of person you want to meet in the pub. Kindly, generous, gregarious, plenty of stories but also at times sat on his own with a beer absorbing the atmosphere.

Far more of our character and our humanity will be lost if we forget to associate with one another and just spend all night in our hovels operating electrical equipment.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

To illustrate my commitment to the above philosophy, my friend and I have begun a blog compiling the best pubs and bars we've been to (cream of the crop rather than just any old places). Profiles are being added by the week.
https://europeanbarguide.wordpress.com/bar-directory/

Or if you just want to cut the crap, there's a Google map here:
https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=14l6XmW5HtoP95gCIJxFPqpktv2A&ll=47.59217436546969%2C8.086430650000011&z=4

[Brundle-Fly]

Going out to the pub, and often to bars has always been one of my favourite things. The social aspect in particular, whether that's just sitting down for an indepth discussion, or catching up, or sitting in the sunshine, or even if you're on your own, just whiling away an hour soaking up the atmosphere somewhere listening to the conversations and occasionally talking to strangers.

It's best to keep things mixed up. Play computer games, watch films and telly, sure, but don't forget to leave your house once in a fucking while either. The community feel of a good pub, say, The Red Deer in Sheffield for example is like tracing a continuous line of social history and being part of that if only for a short time. Not everyone you meet out at the pub is Bohumil Hrabal, but that's not the point, he embodied the kind of person you want to meet in the pub. Kindly, generous, gregarious, plenty of stories but also at times sat on his own with a beer absorbing the atmosphere.

Far more of our character and our humanity will be lost if we forget to associate with one another and just spend all night in our hovels operating electrical equipment.

Pos karma for this.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Thanks Brundle. A topic close to my heart.

It's sad how when many people couple up they cease going out and make pitiful excuses. Often one side of the partnership is quite controlling and funnily enough also happens to be the antisocial one.

All the same, even popping out on your own and slowly dissolving into the background of a good pub can be enjoyable. Let your senses take over. Heartbeat slows. Take in the murmur of conversation like waves lapping on a shoreline, receding then building, dip into the music in the background, take a sup of something exquisite. Now that's good living all by itself. Add friends or friendly conversation and the bullshit that is most other aspects of existence evaporates.

[Icehaven]

All the same, even popping out on your own and slowly dissolving into the background of a good pub can be enjoyable. Let your senses take over. Heartbeat slows. Take in the murmur of conversation like waves lapping on a shoreline, receding then building, dip into the music in the background, take a sup of something exquisite. Now that's good living all by itself. Add friends or friendly conversation and the bullshit that is most other aspects of existence evaporates.

Talked about this at length on here before but as a very frequent solo pub goer while I don't have a simple/single reason for explaining why it's often (not always, but often) much better than just drinking at home, this kind of thing is one of them.

[QDRPHNC]

Thanks Brundle. A topic close to my heart.

It's sad how when many people couple up they cease going out and make pitiful excuses. Often one side of the partnership is quite controlling and funnily enough also happens to be the antisocial one.

Or they just stay at home, banging.

[Mr Brightside]

Thanks Brundle. A topic close to my heart.

It's sad how when many people couple up they cease going out and make pitiful excuses. Often one side of the partnership is quite controlling and funnily enough also happens to be the antisocial one.

All the same, even popping out on your own and slowly dissolving into the background of a good pub can be enjoyable. Let your senses take over. Heartbeat slows. Take in the murmur of conversation like waves lapping on a shoreline, receding then building, dip into the music in the background, take a sup of something exquisite. Now that's good living all by itself. Add friends or friendly conversation and the bullshit that is most other aspects of existence evaporates.

Was searching 'cookdandbombd' on Twitter during the hacking nonsense to see if I could find what was going on, and I found this. I take it you won't be going for a pint with Sydward Lartle, Shoulders? https://twitter.com/SydwardLartle/status/864457680064315394
#SickMinds

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Or they just stay at home, banging.

Don't the average couple bang once a week? Surely you can make it to the pub at least that often.

[QDRPHNC]

Don't the average couple bang once a week? Surely you can make it to the pub at least that often.

I agree with you really, going out is v. v. important.

[purlieu]

I used to go out a lot when I lived in Leeds - maybe five nights a week at the peak. At the time I knew a wide circle of people in the city's alternative scene, and the number of clubs and bars with reasonable (occasionally very good) music seemed at its peak, so it was a lot of fun. Met a lot of people, had a lot of sex, ended up in a lot of daft situations, learned a few lessons. Generally great.

Since then I've barely done it at all, but in quite a frustrating way as it's been a mixture of living in a number of fairly shitty towns, having no money, mental health problems, being in a relationship, and having a needy dog. My life practically went from 'student' to 'pensioner'. So I never had the opportunity to kind of grow out of it and it still feels like unfinished business in a way: part of my mind still feels 24 when I was enjoying going out, but my body is very much in its 30s now, no longer able to take regular heavy drinking. Plus I barely know anyone my age who really goes drinking these days, and from my one night club trip in the last couple of years, I've learned that it's a bit weird being in a room full of people who were barely teenagers when I first stopped going to clubs. Plus I had no idea what the music was.

I don't miss the cost, or the hangovers, or city centres at night, or drunkenly losing my wallet, or waking up next to someone and realising how drunk I must have been, or the myriad other things that were terrible about all that kind of shit, but I still feel like it was taken from me rather than being able to voluntarily give it up.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

So is meeting up after work for a couple, spending a Sunday afternoon drinking in 2/3 pubs not 'going out'?

[purlieu]

So is meeting up after work for a couple, spending a Sunday afternoon drinking in 2/3 pubs not 'going out'?

Depends if we're discussing it in context of the opening post or just taking the words literally.

[thenoise]

I love the idea of the local pub being a vibrant bustling crowd discussing the issues of the day, where the gentry and the common man can share a drink together etc.  The trouble is that all the ones I've been to are full of drunks and lowlifes, who mainly want to either sit about in silence, watch sport on TV and/or threaten people who dare disagree with their received tabloid opinions on everything.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

To illustrate my commitment to the above philosophy, my friend and I have begun a blog compiling the best pubs and bars we've been to (cream of the crop rather than just any old places). Profiles are being added by the week.
https://europeanbarguide.wordpress.com/bar-directory/

Or if you just want to cut the crap, there's a Google map here:
https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=14l6XmW5HtoP95gCIJxFPqpktv2A&ll=47.59217436546969%2C8.086430650000011&z=4

Ha, I was in Kotor last week and stumbled on Klub Invalida and enjoyed a 1.5 euro beer outside in sun. Great place but I couldn't tolerate the smoke fug inside, it was dense enough to stink my clothes up just walking to the toilet twice.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Haha, excellent. Glad to hear. I wonder whether the smell is just from that old man's cardigan alone. We got trapped in there during a thunderstorm where central Kotor was for 30 minutes under 3 inches of standing water. Many beers were drunk.

I love the idea of the local pub being a vibrant bustling crowd discussing the issues of the day, where the gentry and the common man can share a drink together etc.  The trouble is that all the ones I've been to are full of drunks and lowlifes, who mainly want to either sit about in silence, watch sport on TV and/or threaten people who dare disagree with their received tabloid opinions on everything.

Although you must admit it would be a lot less like that if people like you bothered going. You must not live in Sheffield then - I could name 20 pubs in that city that adequately fit the description in the first sentence.

[Dex Sawash]

Was searching 'cookdandbombd' on Twitter during the hacking nonsense to see if I could find what was going on, and I found this. I take it you won't be going for a pint with Sydward Lartle, Shoulders? https://twitter.com/SydwardLartle/status/864457680064315394
#SickMinds

Reads like a Trump tweet

[Chairman Bodog]

I used to like doing phet off a wheelie bin with Polish girls outside a grot rot club. I used to like getting sniffed up to bangs and telling people how great I was. Now I just sit in my room getting sniffed up to bangs and telling myself how great I am.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Where next after that you reckon? Oyster mate. World's yer.

[Chairman Bodog]

I'll sniff and bang your oyster and make you feel great all night long, baby girl.

[Cloud]

or even if you're on your own, just whiling away an hour soaking up the atmosphere somewhere listening to the conversations and occasionally talking to strangers.

Glad you mentioned that, as an introvert that is often what I do in the pub and it's good to not be alone with it.  Sometimes you feel unwelcome for being "quiet" (or worse, the cardinal sin of bringing electronics along to have a little read while listening to the chit chat and enjoying the background atmosphere of civilisation) but I really enjoy that aspect of the kind of pub that doesn't have loud music.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

When you realise you're only not watching films/going to the pub out of social convention, yet still want to watch a new film or sit in a nice environment and relax with a refreshing drink, it's best to just shun the norms and do it.

I felt awfully self-conscious going to a restaurant on my own when I was about 21, but wouldn't bat an eyelid about doing it now, though I suppose I would still choose a more informal establishment.

Having a few holidays solo certainly helped, especially walking into some bruising looking hospodka such as this one in Bratislava surrounded by a sex shop and a motorway, and realising some old farts momentarily staring at you is basically the same in England as it is abroad, while the owners just want your dosh and the room full.

[Sin Agog]

Glad you mentioned that, as an introvert that is often what I do in the pub and it's good to not be alone with it.  Sometimes you feel unwelcome for being "quiet" (or worse, the cardinal sin of bringing electronics along to have a little read while listening to the chit chat and enjoying the background atmosphere of civilisation) but I really enjoy that aspect of the kind of pub that doesn't have loud music.

I know what you mean about soaking up the ambience without feeling the need to contribute to it.
Finding out that I was an introvert really switched up my life for me.  Being a gregarious gobshite sort meant it took a lot longer for me to cotton on than most.  It mostly just means that you get over-stimulated very easily and need time to stop and recharge alone.  Whereas extroverts generally need more stimulation in order to feel satisfied, which is usually what drives them hither and thither across the globe; they also tend to get an electric bolt of revivifying energy from meeting people for the first time.  I was telling a friend who hates pubs but whose girlfriend loves them (and I must admit, they've never been my scene, as back in my partying days I was far more into throwing shapes on the dance floor) that they're a godsend to those extro types stranded in a small village somewhere.  Without them they'd just wither on the vine, but instead they get to fill up their people-meter at their local several times a week and get by.  Conversely, don't let anyone make you feel guilty for 'laxing at home with some solo time, or going a'roaming out in the woods or country for hours on end.  Our society may not be built for such types, but happiness usually comes from cutting through all of that external societal projection like Toshiro Mifune with a blood-soaked samurai sword and knowing yourself enough to do the simple things that make you happy without guilt.

[Large Noise]

I know what you mean about soaking up the ambience without feeling the need to contribute to it.

There's a Henry Rollins interview in which he says that, when he returns to his home town, he's got one friend he meets up with, but he's happy to know that his other old friends are out there without feeling the need to actually contact them. It's like that pub table scaled up to the size of a city.

Or like Henry Hill at Tommy's mother's house; content to be an asshole.