Do you "do anal"?

[QDRPHNC]

I have to side with Kane Jones, anyone afraid of a little hoopwork is afraid of sex, to paraphrase Samuel Johnson there.

New page anus!

[Kelvin]

Ever accidentally eaten any shit, mate?

That was another of his Scout Leader's sayings.

[Kane Jones]

That was another of his Scout Leader's sayings.

Dib dib dib, dob dob dob, where's Akela? Cleaning shit off his knob.

[Hanslow]

occasional treat

[Mr Banlon]

Sometimes there is an occasional treet. Bits of peanut covered in 'chocolate'

[Shay Chaise]

The thread has moved up several gears of quality over the last page. Bravo.

Chalk me up as another Ace Rimmer.

[TheManOne]

Indeed. Although I would never inflict mine upon someone.

[Dr Syntax Head]

A tip for a more comfortable rear experience. Keep fingernails trimmed and use a neutral lube like yer water based KY Jelly. It's the lube of kings. None of this fancy tingle nonsense.

[Kane Jones]

use a neutral lube like yer water based KY Jelly.

Spit, precum and flapspaff works for me.

[TheManOne]

A tip for a more comfortable rear experience. Keep fingernails trimmed and use a neutral lube like yer water based KY Jelly. It's the lube of kings. None of this fancy tingle nonsense.

Yes. And if you're going through a lot of down time sexually, you can use the excess to make your special effect monsters look better on film.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Butter is a good substitute. I learn all my sex tricks from weird, huge American actors

[Kishi the Bad Lampshade]

^{Might've. Not telling you which way though.}

[mothman]

I love a bit of Axl.

... in your Rose?

[machotrouts]

If the arse is so full of shit that they would soil themselves right there and then, you don't want to be having anal sex with them anyway.

Had that lesson already thanks.

[machotrouts]

Personally I've always thought Ace Rimmer was overrated by Sugababes fans

[Space ghost]

I have to side with Kane Jones, anyone afraid of a little hoopwork is afraid of sex, to paraphrase Samuel Johnson there.

New page anus!

What if one of the participants has ulcerative colitis, are they still a big namby pamby afraid of grown up sex then?

#respectmyjourney

[QDRPHNC]

What if one of the participants has ulcerative colitis, are they still a big namby pamby afraid of grown up sex then?

#respectmyjourney

No, a grown up respects another's bowel inflammation.

[Cloud]

To answer one of the early questions the only right place to put the lube is "both, and plenty"

As for all this 'douching' nonsense... You're all too squeamish. As my old Scout Leader used to say; "It's just a bit of shit."

Aye.  There was none of that in the couple of times I've tried it.  Nor any shit.  I'm not a biologist but far as I know, unless you're in the midst of a bowel movement it's not close enough to the exit to interfere with your average pee pee.
Even if it were, that's just another use for the protection, no?  I doubt (hope) it's not just me who has an "I don't care how safe and clean you think we both are, I'm putting a rubber on" policy.

I've always had an ample bum-beard, which makes anal hygiene a struggle I can tell you.  Hairy legs in general but the real concentration is around the bull's-eye itself, long dark hairs growing outwards in a ring starting about 2cm from the pucker itself (which, like you say, is smooth).  But it's close enough to get all winnetted up should I do a sloppy one.  My arse looks a lot like Noel Edmonds' face, actually.  If he started smoking dirty cigars.

Nobody has ever offered to fuck my arse, funnily enough.

Never use Veet there, btw.
However there is a cream appropriately called "Nad's" which makes the task of making things smooth a lot less arduous.  They say not for use in those regions because they have to, but people do so, it's ok as long as you don't leave it on for more than 10 minutes and don't slather it all over the anal membrane.


Coming across here like a bit of an expert, but am not actually..

[Better Midlands]

Y'all ain't nuttin' till you got up in the morning and cleaned the truffle buttter from under your foreskin in the morning shower.

[cptspalding]

Y'all ain't nuttin' till you got up in the morning and cleaned the truffle buttter from under your foreskin in the morning shower.

Glad I eat dinner late.  Got me thinking about a shitty truffle shuffle.  Sadly it did not end well for Chunk.

[canadagoose]

Y'all ain't nuttin' till you got up in the morning and cleaned the truffle buttter from under your foreskin in the morning shower.

Urrrrghhhhh!

[Shay Chaise]

After reading that, I can confirm that I ain't nuttin for the foreseeable future.