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BBC Phone Cunt

Started by Small Man Big Horse, May 25, 2017, 02:36:15 AM

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Small Man Big Horse

This is a 2 minute video where some BBC cunt ditches his iphone for the day and is forced to use one of Nokia's new "Retro Phones".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/technology-40015830/nokia-3310-how-long-could-you-survive-with-a-retro-phone

Inevitably he moans like a spoilt child throughout, first because he gets bored whilst queuing for coffee, and struggles to do an old style text, but the icing on the cake being his whining when he can't take a selfie properly.

I know the bbc regularly trot out shite like this but bejebus, this has got my back up. I mean he looks mid-fifties for one thing, if it was one of those young people I'd maybe understand it, but it's just beyond patronising and pointless. So if I ever meet him I'll give him a stern look, I can tell you. Maybe even a slow shake of the head.


shiftwork2

Basically balls, but you're supposed to smile with indulgent recognition and say 'oh yes, we do use our phones a lot nowadays, don't we'.  It's all about nowadays.  That they have now.

I don't know, perhaps Serge would like to comment on the subject matter.

HappyTree

I have a retro phone. Had it for 7 years. Only phone I've ever had, in fact. Never had, needed or wanted a smartphone.

NoSleep

I'm still using a Nokia phone that I bought brand new for a fiver over ten years ago.



A Samsung one that I bought subsequently had built in obsolescence as its time and date was restricted to stop after 2015 (cunts), but it still functions as a phone.

BlodwynPig

*SMBH mentions the BBC*

BlodwynPig

*BlodwynPig swims relentlessly in an ocean of smug*

BlodwynPig

Really it's just The Observer/The Guardian but 17 years later

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: NoSleep on May 25, 2017, 06:10:30 AM
I'm still using a Nokia phone that I bought brand new for a fiver over ten years ago.



A Samsung one that I bought subsequently had built in obsolescence as its time and date was restricted to stop after 2015 (cunts), but it still functions as a phone.

We have phones like these for our on call rota. Charge it up the day you get it and it lists all week.

ASFTSN

I would still be using one of those old Nokias but it broke late last year after many years of service.  Trying to buy a new £5-£10 non-Smartphone was actually quite difficult.  Someone called Alcatel make something that is clearly designed to cater for that market, and I bought one.

It's fucking shit.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: ASFTSN on May 25, 2017, 08:35:58 AM
I would still be using one of those old Nokias but it broke late last year after many years of service.  Trying to buy a new £5-£10 non-Smartphone was actually quite difficult.  Someone called Alcatel make something that is clearly designed to cater for that market, and I bought one.

It's fucking shit.

There's ones that are about thumb size that are very popular with prisoners.



MojoJojo

Quote from: ASFTSN on May 25, 2017, 08:35:58 AMSomeone called Alcatel make something that is clearly designed to cater for that market, and I bought one.

It's fucking shit.

I worked for Alcatel(-Lucent) until last year, but it was the company that stopped making mobile phones but sold their brand name on to a different company, who would be the ones who made your phone.

I no longer work for Alcatel because they got bought out by Nokia, a company that stopped making phones but sold the brand name on to another company that has just released a phone that inspired that BBC article.

These bits of information feel like they should be interesting, but aren't.

Paul Calf


JoeyBananaduck

Fun fact - I have stomach problems. About a month ago I vomited all over my £70 Android phone (it was on the bed next to me for the alarm) and it stopped working. Being skint I bought a £40 one. 7 days later, vomited on it ever so slightly. Broke. I currently do not have a phone. It's not really as bad as people might think - if you've got a laptop you can get by.

phantom_power

Next phone you get, keep it in a ziploc bag

NoSleep

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 25, 2017, 08:33:37 AM
We have phones like these for our on call rota. Charge it up the day you get it and it lists all week.

I hate phones that list.

Mine tends not to last that well because of the bad reception in my area that makes it constantly keep seeking a signal. I only use it when I travel up to London, though, where it works fine and the battery lasts.

JoeyBananaduck

Quote from: phantom_power on May 25, 2017, 09:00:19 AM
Next phone you get, keep it in a ziploc bag

I'd probably do that before I had the balls to go to the hospital and be told I have a fatal illness tbh.

Norton Canes

Quote from: JoeyBananaduck on May 25, 2017, 08:57:37 AM
Fun fact - I have stomach problems. About a month ago I vomited all over my £70 Android phone (it was on the bed next to me for the alarm) and it stopped working. Being skint I bought a £40 one. 7 days later, vomited on it ever so slightly. Broke. I currently do not have a phone. It's not really as bad as people might think - if you've got a laptop you can get by

I don't want to alarm you JoeyBananaduck but I can see how this might pan out

phantom_power

Quote from: JoeyBananaduck on May 25, 2017, 09:07:59 AM
I'd probably do that before I had the balls to go to the hospital and be told I have a fatal illness tbh.

Maybe you are just allergic to phones

JoeyBananaduck

Quote from: Norton Canes on May 25, 2017, 09:08:59 AM
I don't want to alarm you JoeyBananaduck but I can see how this might pan out

Heh!

Quote from: phantom_power on May 25, 2017, 09:13:14 AM
Maybe you are just allergic to phones

Bloody hell, I think you've got it! This is like an episode of House. The answer was there all along!

Ham Bap

I use an old Nokia phone too. It has Snake on it and a small shitty torch feature. I paid a tenner for it about 3 years ago when I replaced my previous one which cost about a tenner 4 years before that.
I have no problem with modern technology either, i work in IT and own most devices.
I have no need for a smartphone when I leave the house. I own an ipad which I use in the house, an ipod nano for music when i leave the house and laptop etc.

I just dont need a smartphone with 1000 texts and 1000 minutes of calls a month (or whatever it is). I just have no desire to be able to use the internet when i.e. im in the pub. I nearly feel like its a scam that this generation are locked into having a mobile phone on £30-50 a month contracts every 18 months.
I have thought about it and the only reason I would get one is if I had to travel extensively daily or weekly for work, buses, trains, flights etc. Handy for staying in touch then and relieving boredom. But I dont do that of that so happy with the Nokia.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: JoeyBananaduck on May 25, 2017, 08:57:37 AM
Fun fact - I have stomach problems. About a month ago I vomited all over my £70 Android phone (it was on the bed next to me for the alarm) and it stopped working. Being skint I bought a £40 one. 7 days later, vomited on it ever so slightly. Broke. I currently do not have a phone. It's not really as bad as people might think - if you've got a laptop you can get by.

A while back I absolutely destroyed one of our aformentioned on-call phones as I had some soup in my rucksack and it defrosted and leaked the condensation into the phone. The battery leaked and corroded one of the terminals to nothing, in short - it was fucked.

Thankfully they were only £10 + a top up in Argos so I swapped it for a new one instead of coughing up and looking like a fucking idiot. #coolstory etc.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Ham Bap on May 25, 2017, 09:22:45 AM
I just dont need a smartphone with 1000 texts and 1000 minutes of calls a month (or whatever it is). I just have no desire to be able to use the internet when i.e. im in the pub. I nearly feel like its a scam that this generation are locked into having a mobile phone on £30-50 a month contracts every 18 months.
I have thought about it and the only reason I would get one is if I had to travel extensively daily or weekly for work, buses, trains, flights etc. Handy for staying in touch then and relieving boredom. But I dont do that of that so happy with the Nokia.

More and more people are finding that smartphone technology has plateaued and they don't need a new one every 18 months. Sim-only take up is rising. If you need to upgrade you can get better APR on a phone by buying it on a credit card than you can with a contract and that's without being sensible and taking out a 0% introductory offer and whacking it on that.

On top of this, there are some very good Chinese companies like Xaomi, Meizu on the go now that sell slightly plasticy phones with all the features of flagships for about a third of the price. Wileyfox are good too.

Blumf

Been using a Sony Elm as a work phone for years now.



Looks great, software is tidy, lasts for a week on a charge.

This new Nokia thing seems like a smart move, obviously lots of people want that pure functionality, pity they made it look like a baby toy.

Buelligan

I don't even have a phone.  Someone quite well off gave me their old phone and I just said thanks politely and put it in a drawer.  I don't want the secret services to be able to bomb me at a moment convenient to themselves and there's no reception here anyway.

mothman

Not allowed phones at work. It's amazing how much you get done.

Brundle-Fly

What is a phone anyway? I just have a set of bongoes and a box of matches. I ask Cheetah to type my CaB posts

Icehaven

Quote from: mothman on May 25, 2017, 12:50:54 PM
Not allowed phones at work. It's amazing how much you get done.

Me too, although obviously the internet is still here so that puts the kibosh on any increased productivity from me.

Quote
More and more people are finding that smartphone technology has plateaued and they don't need a new one every 18 months. Sim-only take up is rising. If you need to upgrade you can get better APR on a phone by buying it on a credit card than you can with a contract and that's without being sensible and taking out a 0% introductory offer and whacking it on that.

Yep, I get an upgrade every 2 years and would probably not bother (I think I left it a few months overdue last year) unless the phone went wrong but for the fact the battery starts to go suspiciously a few months before the upgrade (and inevitable tariff hike) is due. I'm playing hardball this time though, if they do what they've done the last 2 times and said my tariff no longer exists and my only option is to go onto a more expensive one I'm outta there. I'm pissed off with them already because a few months ago I made an unusually high number of calls and went way over my free minutes so that month's bill was astronomical, and a few weeks after I got a call from some cocky little bugger asking how my tariff was ''working out for me these days'' (ie we know you've just had a massive bill so can we nag you onto a higher tariff)  I didn't care for his (dialling)tone so I hung up.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 25, 2017, 08:39:11 AM
There's ones that are about thumb size that are very popular with prisoners.



It must be strange for a manufacturer to develop a product that they know will be shoved up the arseholes of countless prisoners. How do you advertise such a thing?

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 25, 2017, 06:27:48 PM
It must be strange for a manufacturer to develop a product that they know will be shoved up the arseholes of countless prisoners. How do you advertise such a thing?
Adverts on each prisoners bum cheek I guess?