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BBC Phone Cunt

Started by Small Man Big Horse, May 25, 2017, 02:36:15 AM

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Icehaven

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 25, 2017, 06:27:48 PM
It must be strange for a manufacturer to develop a product that they know will be shoved up the arseholes of countless prisoners. How do you advertise such a thing?

Nah they know to search there. Inside Mars Bars is a popular one, although drones are increasingly the delivery method of choice.

Barry Admin

See, that's a great example of why I get irked at the "hoverboards" cliche being the only metric by which so many people judge if we're in the future or not. Getting a tiny little phone flown in to prison is some wicked futuristic super-villain shit.

Icehaven

#32
We had a 2ft parcel delivered last week via drone, god alone knows what was in it (actually no he doesn't, we all do, drugs and phones). It's about twice a week at the moment, and hilariously often in broad daylight.

steve98

Quote from: icehaven on May 25, 2017, 06:51:59 PM
We had a 2ft parcel delivered last week, god alone knows what was in it (actually no he doesn't, we all do, drugs and phones). It's about twice a week at the moment, and hilariously often in broad daylight.

Maybe it's drones? If they can amass enough drones they can fly out?... I know a guy who smuggled an autogyro into prison(rectally); it took years and countless incarcerations for petty crimes... decades in fact... but he made it: he's a free man now.

Replies From View

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on May 25, 2017, 02:36:15 AM
This is a 2 minute video where some BBC cunt ditches his iphone for the day and is forced to use one of Nokia's new "Retro Phones".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/technology-40015830/nokia-3310-how-long-could-you-survive-with-a-retro-phone

Inevitably he moans like a spoilt child throughout, first because he gets bored whilst queuing for coffee, and struggles to do an old style text, but the icing on the cake being his whining when he can't take a selfie properly.

I know the bbc regularly trot out shite like this but bejebus, this has got my back up. I mean he looks mid-fifties for one thing, if it was one of those young people I'd maybe understand it, but it's just beyond patronising and pointless. So if I ever meet him I'll give him a stern look, I can tell you. Maybe even a slow shake of the head.

My least favourite moment of the video was the fake interaction with the woman who responded to a request for directions with a haughty "GOOGLE MAPS?!"

As if strangers normally behave like that, and it was a valid reaction to a shit phone.

Blumf

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 25, 2017, 08:39:11 AM
There's ones that are about thumb size that are very popular with prisoners.



Where do they put the charger?

Icehaven

Quote from: Blumf on May 25, 2017, 10:09:09 PM
Where do they put the charger?

You don't want to know.

ASFTSN

Quote from: MojoJojo on May 25, 2017, 08:43:03 AM
I worked for Alcatel(-Lucent) until last year, but it was the company that stopped making mobile phones but sold their brand name on to a different company, who would be the ones who made your phone.

I no longer work for Alcatel because they got bought out by Nokia, a company that stopped making phones but sold the brand name on to another company that has just released a phone that inspired that BBC article.

These bits of information feel like they should be interesting, but aren't.

Right MojoJojo it was clearly your idea when you worked for Alcatel so I'm calling you out bruv - why did YOU yes YOU personally design the Alcatel OneTouch so that when it's on silent mode, that means the damned alarm clock doesn't make a sound when it goes off?  And with no way to customise the different silent/noisy profiles?  Fuck were you thinking man?

touchingcloth



That's not even a 3310, and yet Rory "so-called" Cellan-Jones calls himself a technology correspondent. I call him a flaccid penis wearing a man suit.

A colour screen? On a 3310? There's no way that would ever happen, Rory, you big pillock. It'd be like someone resurrecting the mini and making it not mini.

BlodwynPig

Cellan-Jones, a man so unsuited to his job that he has gone full circle and is EXACTLY suited to his job.

Icehaven

Quote from: steve98 on May 25, 2017, 07:29:43 PM
Maybe it's drones? If they can amass enough drones they can fly out?...

That's such a good idea! I fully expect to hear SO LONG SUCKAS! coming from the sky, look up and seeing some skinny herbert flying over the wall.

Konki

Are there any decent 'dumb phones' or 'feature phones' out there? The ones I've had recently, especially the nokias, have been cheap and flimsy.

Zetetic

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 25, 2017, 06:33:00 AM
Really it's just The Observer/The Guardian but 17 years later
I'd like to see this article written by Sam Wollaston.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Konki on June 06, 2017, 08:07:41 PM
Are there any decent 'dumb phones' or 'feature phones' out there? The ones I've had recently, especially the nokias, have been cheap and flimsy.

It's still the old Nokias for the dumb ones - bomb proof, battery lasts for weeks and they just work.  Like those old Casio digital watches that cost £2.99 and are still running and keeping near perfect time with the same battery 25 years later.

I'm not aware of any new phones, certainly not smart phones, which don't die a little bit the minute you think about looking at them. 

Konki

Yeah, got an old 3310 I dug out recently. Weirdly they don't save outgoing texts though. That'd take a bit of getting used to I reckon. Strange how you just get used to things and take them for granted.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Konki on June 06, 2017, 09:13:24 PM
Yeah, got an old 3310 I dug out recently. Weirdly they don't save outgoing texts though.

Yeah, that's odd, because both my old 3210 and an ex-'s 3330 saved them.  Although without any time/datestamp, which was really annoying.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I think the BBC deliberately employ this man because he represents a kind of fuddy-duddy that Dads watching at home can relate to. However, he always comes across as really uninformed and often regurgitates corporate speak.

buzby

Quote from: Konki on June 06, 2017, 09:13:24 PM
Yeah, got an old 3310 I dug out recently. Weirdly they don't save outgoing texts though. That'd take a bit of getting used to I reckon. Strange how you just get used to things and take them for granted.
Unlike more recent phones they used the SIM card for storing text messages and contact data - there isn't much memory in a SIM (a maximum of 128k) so presumably it prioritised storing received texts.

Konki

That makes sense. Feels very odd having to actually remember what you've said rather than having a record of absolutely every conversation to hand.

The not knowing is probably better... if you can't remember what you said it can't have been that important, it was only a silly text.

Bobtoo

IIRC there was room for 15 texts on the SIM. I'm pretty sure you can choose whether or not to save outgoing texts, with the total still being limited to 15.