Whistling.

[yesitsme]

Just because you can whistle doesn't mean you should.  There are only certain places where it is acceptable - basically the golden rule is that you should be alone.  Have some consideration!

But given the chance what tune do you whistle?

Generally I'll do a bit of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' - specifically the part that goes 'If happy little bluebirds fly'.  I think I picked that up from my grandad.  Or, if it's a 'lovely day' like today I'll drop ZYM's 'Patio Song'.

C'mon other Metro readers - do you whistle?  Can you do it with your fingers in your mouth to attract a taxi or let a fit bird know you like her tits/arse/legs or are you dead against it?

Leave your whistling anecodtes here but remember to mark your posts 'I Like Whistling'.

[græskar]

I can't whistle to save my life, never been able to do it. I just end up looking like I'm trying to fellate a wasp

[Quincey]

I can't whistle and I find it really obnoxious when people whistle in confined spaces where others are (e.g. in a taxi).

[FredNurke]

I am a superb whistler, having mastered the art of whistling both out and in. But whistling is not to be undertaken lightly or in all situations, for it is much like farting: your own is pleasant, other people's are unbearable.

[Buelligan]

Thanks for this opportunity to open up about whistling.  I sometimes do cleaning work, in people's homes and I've noticed something about older men - a huge number of them whistle.

It was such a noticeable phenomenon that it set me to pondering whilst I polished.  And I came to a revelation, which may or may not be a correct interpretation of their compulsion. 

I think these men are nice men, men who are slightly worried by the idea that they might threaten/startle another person (especially a woman).  They do this terrible loud tuneless whistling as a sort of warning beacon, to say I am here, I am approaching, do not be afraid, I am not sneaking, I mean you no harm, I'm actually in quite a good mood.  That sort of thing. Which you have to love them for.

Of course, if you were a terrible murderer, you could adopt this strategy and it would probably work a treat.

[Bazooka]

I can only whistle sucking inward like a right mutant, and I used to live down the road from the world whistling champion. Those are my top 2 out of 2 whistling stories.

[Old Gold Tooth]

Irritating noise pollution. Serves no purpose other to annoy and people who do it are never as good as they think.

I remember when Kill Bill Vol. 1 came out and every prick started doing the creepy cool whistle Daryl Hannah did when she was walking down the hospital corridor. Except it wasn't remotely cool because they weren't in Kill Bill, they were in Londis/at their desk/walking past a Londis.

[SpiderChrist]

[Cerys]

Generally I'll do a bit of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' - specifically the part that goes 'If happy little bluebirds fly'.  I think I picked that up from my grandad.

Your grandad was Richard Briers...?

[Dex Sawash]

I would whistle if I wasn't able to do my near constant sotto voce beatboxing. It is just a little fart noise from inside my upper lip right behind the incisors. Moments of great non-specific joy may inspire some whistling or outright singing (usually a song parody because don't know the real words)

[Glebe]

I can only whistle (very badly) by blowing out. You're supposed to suck in, ooer, missus!

[Beagle 2]

Strange timing, this thread. I discovered last night that my two-month old son is transfixed by whistling, so that was my evening. I mostly went through a few 60s muzak classics and "Mr Sandman". He even tried it out himself, and let me tell you, he is fucking shit at it. I'm miles better, miles.

I haven't got that chirrupy thing nailed down though, the technique they teach men on their 40th birthday. I'd like to reach my dad 1987 levels of whistle prowess, his repotoire included "When you wish upon a star" and "When you're smiling", and he knew a special frequency that could strip wallpaper and burst cats.

Miles better.

[biggytitbo]

Whistling Mothers.


Cut their lips off I say.

[gmoney]

I'd forgotten people did this until my housemates parents came to stay. I'd estimate his dad whistled about 40% of the time. Quite loudly.

[Sebastian Cobb]

We had an old bloke fill in for our receptionist once who did this, but couldn't whistle so just sort of made blowy noises as he shuffled about watering the plants.

[MoonDust]

I wish I could whistle. But never have been able to.

My life is shit.

[Mr Brightside]

I wish I could whistle. But never have been able to.

My life is shit.

You know how to whistle, don't you, MoonDust? You just put your lips together and blow.

[Buelligan]

That's a faux-fart or raspberry, I think you'll find.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

My Dad whistles and hums constantly, and it really gets on my tits when I'm over there visiting. Half the time it isn't even a discernable tune either, it's just a random assortment of discordant notes piled together. The other half of the time, it's Living fucking Doll by Cliff Richard. I shit ye not.

The thing about your chronic whistler is that most of the time they don't even realise they're doing it. I'm surprised the old cunt hasn't done it at funerals before.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Love a good whistle. In private.

[Mr Brightside]

Has anyone ever successfully whistled open either an arsehole or vagina?

[Beagle 2]

Roger Whittaker opens all his bisexual orgies that way.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Wharrem would whistle for the rhino.

[Dr Trouser]

I fucking love whistling. Really loud penetrating whistling. Usually do it on my own and always in the shower. I mainly whistle the Queen of the Night Aria from The Magic Flute.

I will sometimes pretend I have a lisp which ends up as every 's' sound being a high pitched whistle - drives my wife bonkers.

[Ray Travez]

Yeah, I whistle.  Today it's Tina Turner's Private Dancer, fuck kmows why. Feeling pretty nervous about stuff.
I sippose it is annoying, but I'm breathing in car skink fumes all day which are actually literally killing me, so folk can live with their minor annoyance. Once I was in a train carriage, just me and this other guy,  and I whistled just a few bars of something,  just a few bars, and he got up and left the carriage.haha, what atwat!

I've been told I'm a good whistler.  Isuppose that's on a par with being congratulated on being a particularly stealthy pawdophile.*

(I know this is full of typos. Im on a buss!

Whistling is also useful for alertibg dozy cnuts that you're coming towards them,  perhaps around a blind corner. I learnt this while working at Harvey's brewery, Lewes,  one Christmastime...


*typo! A man who is rather too fond of his best friend

[Eight Taiwanese Teenagers]

I can't whistle to save my life, never been able to do it. I just end up looking like I'm trying to fellate a wasp

That's weird. I find it very hard to fellate a wasp without making a whistling noise, spoiling the mood entirely. Maybe we could swap?

[billtheburger]

[Tag]she should have put some knickers on[/tag]

[billtheburger]

Has anyone ever successfully whistled open either an arsehole or vagina?

Like panpipes?

[Sebastian Cobb]

I sometimes find myself doing the horn section of Curtis's Move on Up when I'm in the shower.

Well, you can't whistle the drum solo can you?

[Mr Brightside]

Like panpipes?

Would produce a similar sound, but I was wondering if anyone had 'whistled them open', like 'charming' them open until there is a reasonable gape.