Autofellatio

[Mr Brightside]

Can any of you successfully suck yourself off? I'm not talking about just flicking the head with the tip of your tongue; I mean actual full on fellatio.

[Black Ship]

*Tag* Richard Herring wanders into thread taking notes */Tag*

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

I think if I chopped off my own cock and put it in my mouth I could probably do it quite well

[pancreas]

I would counsel pairing up with another bepenised person. Between the pair of you you can suck the two penises without unreasonable physical restraint. Just a suggestion, mind.

[Mr Brightside]

I would counsel pairing up with another bepenised person. Between the pair of you you can suck the two penises without unreasonable physical restraint. Just a suggestion, mind.

Sounds a bit gay.

[pancreas]

Sounds a bit gay.

It is, naturally, but you forget about that aspect soon enough. Throw yourself into it, is my advice. Don't look back.

[Steven]

NSFW https://media.8ch.net/cow/src/1437791588173-1.jpg

[Mr Banlon]

With that freakish neck, I reckon Ivanka can manage pink, brown, hubby and daddy in one licky swoop.

[Ambient Sheep]

I used to work with a guy who said a lad in his school changing room could do this and would happily demonstrate -- apparently it involved him kinda bending round and coming(!) in from the side.

An ex- of mine also knew someone who could do this, but had to hang upside down to do so - he'd kink his knees over a bar, like a gymnast, then put his hands behind his head and bend himself up towards his cock.

All seems an awful lot of trouble, tbh.


_{Nearest I ever got, sometime in my late-teens, early-20s, was a maddening 2 inches away from the tip of my tongue, let alone my mouth, and by that time my back and ribs were in so much pain that even if I'd managed it I'd have got no pleasure out of it whatsover.  I only ever tried two or three times before I gave up for good.}

[Ambient Sheep]

Meanwhile, every other time I look at one of those pictures of a female gymnast and/or contortionist in one of *those* poses, I think "Surely they must have tried it too?"

No wonder they always have such big smiles on their faces...

[Mr Brightside]

An ex- of mine also knew someone who could do this, but had to hang upside down to do so - he'd kink his knees over a bar, like a gymnast, then put his hands behind his head and bend himself up towards his cock.

Laughed. Finally a good post in this shit thread. Which sad cunt started it all?

[Cloud]

If only, if only...

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Automatic for the People was probably a wise choice.

[Twed]

I could when I was 16-ish. It was literally 'quite a stretch'. The age old "it's like trying to tickle yourself" applies; beyond the initial rush it wasn't that good but I got some fun out of it.

Spine's fucked now.

[JoeyBananaduck]

I can't say having a todger in my mouth holds much appeal to me tbh, least of all mine. Have you seen it? Eurgh!

[thenoise]

Never have done.  I used to do yoga but my spine was never particularly flexible.  I have heard that 'the plough pose' is quite an effective position for those that happen to have flexible enough spines (and big enough cocks).

Oddly, the closest I have ever come to a proper wet dream have involved me managing to suck myself off.  Whenever I have a sexy dream about women, they always turn me down.  Curse my subconscious!

[biggytitbo]

Does this include been sucked off on the back seat of a Ford Mondeo?

[Paul Calf]

Steven: do you mind not hotlinking very-NSFW pics without warning, please?

[ASFTSN]

Steven: do you mind not hotlinking very-NSFW pics without warning, please?

Have a word with your employer.  Amendments to the Equality Act colloquially known as 'Legend Gary's law' by the press now mean that the simple, wholesome and natural love of man and motor have been considered unlawful ground for discrimination since 2012.

[Paul Calf]

Damn. I don't know whether I'm a victim of SJW liberal anti-free-speech cucks or crusty, sexually repressed right-wing palaeos. Help!

[ASFTSN]

Damn. I don't know whether I'm a victim of SJW liberal anti-free-speech cucks or crusty, sexually repressed right-wing palaeos. Help!

And here we meet one of the great allegorical denizens of medieval bestiaries - the amphisbaena sucking it's own cock.

[Hollow]

When I was young and supple I could just about get the tip in...with the constant fear that I may break my neck at any moment.

I've not tried for a good twenty years though...I don't feel like it anymore lets say...kind of takes the shine off once you've had an actual blowey off another human.

[billtheburger]

It feels more like having a cock in your mouth, than having your cock in a mouth.

[Hollow]

It feels more like having a cock in your mouth, than having your cock in a mouth.

Yes it does...yes it does.

*nods sagely*

[daf]

Between the pair of you you can suck the two penises

Penii?

[touchingcloth]

Even if you could suck your own cock, the main drawback is that all of the slurping and the having your head between your knees would impair your hearing, making it much more likely that you'd be caught in the act than with a common-or-garden clear-earsed wank, and there can be no greater ignominy than shouting at someone to go away and protesting that they should have knocked, all while mumbling round a gobful of your own knob.

There's a NSFW image coming up, so if you're CAW and don't want to LYJ, check the coast is clear before you SAF.


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Ready?



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Are you?



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You have been sufficiently warned.

NSFW: http://i.imgur.com/d8uGGJq.jpg

[Quincey]

Used to know someone at school who told us he could do this and regularly did so. Never tried myself.

[Norton Canes]

[popcorn]

It's beyond me personally, but I'd do it if I could. I have a mate who can do but it admits "It hurts very much to bend in this way."

[billyandthecloneasaurus]

i can, but it hurts and the post-wank shame is off the bloody charts

also once i slightly strained something and i got paranoid i'd permanently fucked up my back