Note: the text in italics in the following episode guides are special introductions which Morris wrote for the Radio 3 continuity announcers.
Episode 1 - Eels, Love And Guns
First broadcast on 10/01/1994
“Now on Radio 3, the first in a series of five interviews with one of Britain's most distinguished peers. Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling is renowned at home and abroad as an entrepreneur, politician, humanist and explorer. He is perhaps one of the true examples of a Renaissance Man. However, his more controversial projects, such as his pioneering working testing designer drugs on imported orphans have led to strained relations with the media. In 1968 he broke Malcolm Muggeridge's arm in two. He's refused to be interviewed for more than ten years. What follows is therefore a unique chance to hear the recollections and opinions of Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling in conversation with the broadcaster Christopher Morris”.
A simple question about experiments on eels leads to a string of sordid and revealing confessions, as Sir Arthur discusses his roles in the instigation of the LA Riots and the expansion of Betty Grable's legs, reminisces painfully about his love affair with Lita Rosa, and reveals the truth behind his recent arrest in the vicinity of Eric Clapton's house.
Episode 2 - Bears
First broadcast on 11/01/1994
“Now on Radio 3, the second in a series of interviews with one of Britain's most distinguished peers, Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling. Tomorrow sees the publication of the Sir Arthur report on prisons and, earlier today, Christopher Morris met him to discuss it”.
Sir Arthur heaves a weary sigh as he faces up to the inevitable and impending end of his life, leading on to his plans to revolutionise prisons based on his father's insistence that he should spend his early childhood behind bars, his days spent fighting in the Foreign Legion alongside Rex Harrison, and the year and a half he endured in the company of some Canadian Bears.
Episode 3 - Christ
First broadcast on 12/01/1994
“And now on Radio 3, the third in this week's series of interviews with Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling. As well as being a renowned Internationalist, a confident of Fidel Castro and enemy of Leon Brittan, Sir Arthur is a less well-known, but no less accomplished, explorer and biologist. In tonight's interview with the broadcaster Christopher Morris he reveals the remarkable archaeological discovery he'll be unveiling in tomorrow's lecture to the Royal Society”.
Sir Arthur wants to start a very boring anecdote about beekeeping, but the rest of the world wants to hear about his discovery of the fossilised remains of the infant Christ, the implications that this breakthrough holds for the world's religions, and the plans of a large Japanese corporation to mass-produce miniaturised cloned versions. [This was based on an unused idea from “On The Hour”]
Episode 4 - Prisoner Of War
First broadcast on 13/01/1994
“This is BBC Radio 3, and now, the fourth in our series of interviews with the politician and human rights abuser Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling. This esteemed and reviled knight, now well into his late 70s, has agreed to break a ten year media silence for Radio 3 and speak to the broadcaster Christopher Morris. It's not quite clear why he made this decision although it is known that he's unlikely to finish his autobiography 'Not Worth The Candle' before his imminent death”.
To the accompaniment of Gavin The Hairdresser and his pre-snipping ritual, Sir Arthur recounts his days in a World War II Japanese prison camp and the innovations he brought to the production of railway lines, and explains exactly how four and a half seconds of film can prove his innocence of the charges of collaborating with the enemy and beating his workers. He also pulls a sleeve from his jacket while talking.
Episode 5 - Drugs Etc.
First broadcast on 14/01/1994
“And now Radio 3 presents the last in our series of interviews with Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling. Sir Arthur has always professed a strong love of music, writing a string of patriotic toe-tappers during the war and setting fire to Brian Wilson when he ran out of hits. In this evening's interview with the broadcaster Christopher Morris, Sir Arthur explains why he decided to purchase the BBC Concert Orchestra”.
Sir Arthur pinpoints the violent details of some of his more bloodthirsty clashes with business rivals, and discusses the various politicians who took to copying his moves, from Michael Heseltine devising his own wrestling move 'The Heseltine Handy' with the aid of WWF fighter Rudy The Giant Vacuum Cleaner, to Leon Brittan's pathetic attempts at bursting into meetings on a food trolley.
“Sir Arthur is not expected to live beyond May”
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