DANNY BAKER - All Day Breakfast Show (Podcast)

[benthalo]

If I hear Danny Baker say "My friend Danny Kelly has never worn a pair of blue jeans in his life...." one more time....

I considered typing that exact post just the other day. Actually, it was a little more colourful, with me cast as his captor forcing Danny K into tight jean-wear.

I'd also encourage e-mails to Wippit. Butter wouldn't melt as they won't acknowledge any problem to me, but it's worth hammering the point home.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Speaking of repitition, I'm actually quite fond of Baker's various catchphrases (although I'm sure he wouldn't refer to them as such), which are just part and parcel of his schtick. I give you:

"English as tuppence, changing yet changeless as canal water, nestling in green nowhere, armoured & effete, bold flag-bearer, lotus-fed Miss Havershambling, opsimath & eremite, feudal...."

"Like a great shoe with its lights on"

"who has more fun than us in our little radio treehouse?"

"where every prospect pleases, and only man is viile"

"some say inaugral, some say debut"

"fine words butter no parsnips" (wonderful phrase)

"why are you tugging our coat?"

"There's a pound"

"We'll get the show started properly in a minute"

"with a look of wild surmise"

Have I missed any?

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

My God, I just achieved the impossible in managing to contradict Danny live on air!

Earlier, he erroneously asserted that it was an urban myth that Charles Manson co-wrote a song with Dennis Wilson. But he did, namely "Never Learn Not To Love" on the 20/20 album, which Manson originally wrote as "Cease To Exist." Wilson subsequently changed the lyrics, much to Manson's annoyance. And you don't want to annoy Charles Manson.

Anyway, Danny read out my e-mail and took it in good stead, gallantly admitting that he was wrong. God bless 'im.   

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

I thought the latest podcast (19th July) was a big improvement.  Although he's still bangin' on about the £2 charge and stuff, this one did make me laugh a lot more than some of the recent ones.

[Lee]

Just a quick one... one of my mates reckons I was mentioned on one of the podcasts, in relation to the Squeeze/Weezer argument. Can anyone confirm this, and tell me what date this was please? Thanks.

[euler]

My God, I just achieved the impossible in managing to contradict Danny live on air!

Earlier, he erroneously asserted that it was an urban myth that Charles Manson co-wrote a song with Dennis Wilson. But he did, namely "Never Learn Not To Love" on the 20/20 album, which Manson originally wrote as "Cease To Exist." Wilson subsequently changed the lyrics, much to Manson's annoyance. And you don't want to annoy Charles Manson.

Anyway, Danny read out my e-mail and took it in good stead, gallantly admitting that he was wrong. God bless 'im.   

Ah - DB never lets the truth get in the way of a good story...for example, I emailed the show after (I think) the very first of the pilot podcasts where the guy tried to claim that he had driven through a rainbow.  You might think it is just one of those "And no-one believed me" things that DB does - but I don't believe the guy who phoned in with this anecdote on this occasion because it is physically impossible.

Rainbows are formed because water droplets split light into different colours - it always does so at the same angle for any colour, blue light being refracted slightly more than red light.  In order for thos refracted light to be visible, the water droplet always has to be in a certain position with respect to your eye and the Sun.  It's impossible to drive through a rainbow because light from water droplets would simply not have enough time to be bent towards your eye.

I can't believe that David Kuo, a supposed man of science, could have let this slip as well ; instead, they all lapped it up.

I tend to take all these anecdotes now with a very large pinch of salt.

[Entropy Balsmalch]

Just a quick one... one of my mates reckons I was mentioned on one of the podcasts, in relation to the Squeeze/Weezer argument. Can anyone confirm this, and tell me what date this was please? Thanks.

I'm see to recall Danny knocked it back because he claimed it wasn't a hit, which it was.

[Lee]

Aha, 28th June, about 13 minutes in. Not quite right there EB - he didn't know if it was a hit or not, and knocked it back for that reason. I've written a comically angry reply; let's see if that reaches the treehouse or not.

£2 a week though? Bugger that.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

They never sent me the DVD they promised either, and neither did I get my Album Giveaway choice! Bloody swizz.

You might be in luck, Phil. Dan suddenly remembered yesterday that he'd promised to send you a copy of the original Willy Wonka DVD.

[Frobush]

WOW! You now get 'speedy' DIRECT downloads off WIPPET without having to go through all that 'add to basket' stuff!

[euler]

The giveaways seem to be a bit random ; there are folks with stuff on the website that I've not heard on the podcasts - and there are plenty of giveaways on the podcasts that aren't on the websites.

I've written to the podcast a number of times but never got mentioned and none of my giveaways have made their way onto the website.

*shrug*

[niat]

Just listening to the Radio London show (after finally realising that I can listen at work on the stream), and it was good to hear a snippet of Chris Morris introducing Baker, presumably taken from the good old GLR days. Does DB use this a lot on the afternoon shows?

[Paaaaul]

Just listening to the Radio London show (after finally realising that I can listen at work on the stream), and it was good to hear a snippet of Chris Morris introducing Baker, presumably taken from the good old GLR days. Does DB use this a lot on the afternoon shows?

Yep. He's got a lot of (slightly) different ones that he plays sporadically.

[Phil_A]

On the Breakfast Show, they used to have a running gag that Chris was going to come fill in whenever Danny went on holiday - "Oh yeah, Chris Morris will be in next week." And you'd tune in and it'd be someone like Lionel Blair instead.

Also, I've found out which Lambchop tune it is they keep pretending is David Kuo - "Interrupted" from the album "What Another Man Spills". (Google=Lampchop+tapping)

[benthalo]

Just listening to the Radio London show (after finally realising that I can listen at work on the stream), and it was good to hear a snippet of Chris Morris introducing Baker, presumably taken from the good old GLR days. Does DB use this a lot on the afternoon shows?

It's a bunch of comedy trails he put on a CDR for Danny Baker in about 2002.  They're the last decent thing he did in my book.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

But do they just consist of Chris Morris saying, "Danny Baker - Tuesday" and so on? Or is there more to them than that? I agree that it's funny hearing Chris' voice making these random announcements, but I'd love to know if there was more.

I also remember Danny's final Radio One show, with Chris Evans in the studio, and Danny briefly mentioned Morris in a flattering light, with Evans giving a disapproving noise. Danny laughed and said, "Oh you never really did see eye to eye, did you?"

It's comforting to know that Morris recognises the vast gulf in quality between Brer's Baker and Evans. Even though Baker seems happy working with both of them.     

[The Mumbler]

I also remember Danny's final Radio One show, with Chris Evans in the studio, and Danny briefly mentioned Morris in a flattering light, with Evans giving a disapproving noise. Danny laughed and said, "Oh you never really did see eye to eye, did you?"  

I forget where or when he said it now, but he compared it to "the Arabs and the Jews".

I used to wonder if Evans hated Morris because of Kim Wilde (briefly Evans' girlfriend) getting pranked for The Day Today. Which would have been around the same time as they were a couple. Probably a red herring, that theory. More likely to have been very different personalities doing very different shows at GLR a few years earlier.

[Lfbarfe]

I also remember Danny's final Radio One show, with Chris Evans in the studio

And me, admittedly silent. Evans turned up with a case of Veuve Cliquot. I was also in the studio for the last GLR show in 1998, from which there is some video material. I'd put it on YouTube, but while I have a copy, it's not my footage to post anywhere.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

And me, admittedly silent. Evans turned up with a case of Veuve Cliquot. I was also in the studio for the last GLR show in 1998, from which there is some video material. I'd put it on YouTube, but while I have a copy, it's not my footage to post anywhere.

Really? What was it you used to do on Danny's show, again? I know you used to work with Mr B, but I've always meant to ask what your role was. Purely out of prurient interest, you understand.

[niat]

Yes, go on Lfbarfe, tell us, please!

[Neil]

Wee bit of relevant info:

I've just been listening to Danny Baker's show on GLR and Chris
Morris phoned up to say it cost a grand to hire the mandrill for BE2.

DB had been discussing monkeys and that only a certain kind can be
used in TV shows...or something!

CM also does a couple of 'trailers' for the show. He just says 'Danny
Baker 10 o'clock on Sunday' on them at varying speeds.

Chris Morris *did* appear on Danny Baker's GLR show a couple of weeks
ago. Danny had just had an idea for a segment on TFI Friday called
"Fairground Music with Monkeys Dressed as Famous People", and Chris Evans
rang the show to day that monkeys were too expensive.

Then seconds before the end of the show Chris Morris called in to say
"you can get mandrills for a grand", [I think that was the figure] and
there was a brief exchange between Morris & Baker which showed that Danny
Baker really admires Chris Morris. Danny said "and you can get drugs with
mandrills" and made some throwaway comment about Chris Morris being the
last person Chris Evans would like to be upstaged by...

The following week Alice Moss referred to the exchange but apparently she
thought Chris Morris was talking about manDRAKES...

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Cheers Neil. Would've loved to have heard Baker and Morris chatting about the relative costs of Mandrills.

[Lfbarfe]

Really? What was it you used to do on Danny's show, again? I know you used to work with Mr B, but I've always meant to ask what your role was. Purely out of prurient interest, you understand.

It wasn't work. You remember how he used to say 'If you're passing, drop in'? Well, I did. Once some time in 1994, after which we ended up in the pub with John Lenehan doing magic tricks. I gave Baker a print out of Dave Budd's Sitcom List, which was a revelation in those pre-Lewisohn days. Then I went in for the last show, in 1996. Just sat there, really, watching Baker and Evans. At the end, Baker said something like 'See you in a couple of weeks at GLR?'. So I just carried on turning up, fetching the teas and coffees in a metal tape spool as and when required. I think the open door policy changed when he went to Virgin, and I haven't seen him since that last GLR show. Happy days for me, but I suspect that he remembers me as a terrible pain in the arse if he remembers me at all. Oh, and Allis Moss is lovely. Bonkers but wonderful.

[Lfbarfe]

I'm slightly worried actually. I haven't seen my much-prized Danny Baker After All 'BBC Governors up to their knees in hookers and gin' T-shirt for ages. Must turn out the washing basket, as it's my favourite item of clothing bar none.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

You remember how he used to say 'If you're passing, drop in'? Well, I did. Once some time in 1994, after which we ended up in the pub with John Lenehan doing magic tricks. I gave Baker a print out of Dave Budd's Sitcom List, which was a revelation in those pre-Lewisohn days. Then I went in for the last show, in 1996. Just sat there, really, watching Baker and Evans. At the end, Baker said something like 'See you in a couple of weeks at GLR?'. So I just carried on turning up, fetching the teas and coffees in a metal tape spool as and when required. I think the open door policy changed when he went to Virgin, and I haven't seen him since that last GLR show. Happy days for me, but I suspect that he remembers me as a terrible pain in the arse if he remembers me at all. Oh, and Allis Moss is lovely. Bonkers but wonderful.

Ah, I see. That sounds splendid. So whatever happened to Allis Moss? She was Dan's perennial side-kick for years, and then she vanished. I always thought she was sort of a Margaret Dumont to Danny's Groucho - if that isn't too high-falutin' an analogy - a stately beacon of slightly bemused calm amidst the chaos.

[niat]

One advantage of the podcasts is the complete lack of pisspoor country music. I've been listening to the stream of the Radio London show for a few days and every day there's some sort of twangy country shite. Please make it stop!

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Agreed. I'd much rather he just played Freddie "Parrot Face" Davis and Jack Douglas and stuff, rather than play "proper" music from his actual record collection.

His taste really is unfathomable, isn't it? He'll play The Beatles and some great 60s/70s pop and soul, then hove in with the blandest kind of contemporary country crap. He even played Eddi fucking Reader yesterday. I'd rather have "The Winky Dink Panther" over that stuff anyday.

[The Mumbler]

His taste really is unfathomable, isn't it? He'll play The Beatles and some great 60s/70s pop and soul, then hove in with the blandest kind of contemporary country crap. He even played Eddi fucking Reader yesterday. I'd rather have "The Winky Dink Panther" over that stuff anyday.

Aw, I rather like a couple of things she's done. Patience of Angels is an ace tune.

But yeah, even on Radio 1, he'd play Garth Brooks without a whiff of irony. Oh, and he was one of the first DJs in the UK to play Two Princes by The Spin Doctors to death (when he was on Radio 5).

A quote which may explain his extremely odd taste: "When you reach the age of about 26, something terrible happens to music." (When interviewed for the NME's 40th anniversary issue. This would make his own cut-off point 1983.)

[benthalo]

Ah, I see. That sounds splendid. So whatever happened to Allis Moss?

Went to France. She did a few link ups during the early BBC London days.

[niat]

He does keep referring to bands such as the Pet Shop Boys as being contemporary, and raises an eyebrow at any of the album giveaways that are post, ooh 1985ish, so he's not exactly at the cutting edge, but the Garth Brooks shite is beyond the pale.

Griff Rhys Jones is on now, by the way.