Bad Film Posters

[Fry]

There have been some awful film posters recently, and they are a wonder to behold.

Look at Jessica Alba's face on this one:

Spoiler alert

[close]

LOOK AT HER NECK!


And Colin Firth obviously coudn't make it to the shoot:


And, to top it off, look at these fantastic painted film posters from belarus:
http://www.englishrussia.com/?p=897


Not an especially good opening post, but I am tired.

Now go, minions. Gather your posters and post!

[djtrees]

These aren't rubbish, but good. Look at them.

[Mustow Green]

This awful poster is made even worse/funnier in it's cropped 'side of bus' form.  You can't make out the one arm reaching into his coat, so he looks 'armless' and the hand seems to disembodied and flying out of the poster.  Crap and funny too.

[eluc55]

not posters, but every picture and trailer released to hype up new Bond film Quantum of Solace have served to make me more and more blase about it.

Basically just crap, dreary shots of men running, walking and stomping around "troubled".

[Panbaams]

And Colin Firth obviously coudn't make it to the shoot:

Is that the American poster, or something? The one I saw was even worse:



Look at Colin Firth's hands!

[mook]

Half these images aren't showing, you naughty hot linking sausages. Use photobucket or imageshack to host.

[mothman]

God, where to start? It's not hard to find bad film posters. Most of the examples thus far have concentrated on errors made in compositing, but what about the posters that are just plain awful, that make you wonder how anyone could think that it would be the best way to promote the movie? Not that I can think of any examples right now.

[Panbaams]

Argh, busted, should be OK now.

There's a story that after seeing the poster for Diamonds Are Forever, Sean Connery's agent insisted that his client should be taller than the girls draped around him. There was no time to redo the poster, so they had to move the top half of his body up and colour in the gap black – hence his weirdly elongated body in the final version.

[samadriel]

I think the name 'Bangkok Dangerous' easily trumps its poster.  Is it meant to be a pun on something?  A neologism confected for the film ("That prawn curry isn't just dangerous, it's Bangkok dangerous")?  A complaint by a caveman who had a bad experience in Thailand?

...Oh, I now see it was the name of the Thai original -- this Nicolas Cage film being a remake -- but then the question becomes 'why did they keep the shit name'?

Oh, here's the beautiful poster Wikipedia have for it;

Wow, only the one, really?  I gotta see that movie -- and Nicolas Cage's face seals the deal!


I will grant that, once upon a time, there was a period where Frank Miller did not bite (or at least, his biting may have been mitigated by his wife's once-lovely, now-bollocks colouring work), but that time has long past.  I think a 4 year old added the mask with a Nikko just before this one hit the presses.

[JPA]

Is that the American poster, or something? The one I saw was even worse:

Look at Colin Firth's hands!

Heh, Adam & Joe dedicated a portion of their radio show to discussing how awful this poster was, I'd never seen it until now.

[jaydee81]

There's a website with collections of these isn't there?
I remember the Guardian Guide did a feature on it a couple of months ago... I seem to remember the Pretty Woman poster being the most famous case of bad photoshopping, even if the Mamma Mia poster is just a HORRIBLE photo...
Okay... I can't find a picture of Pretty Woman that isn't MASSIVE... anyway

[mothman]

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/

[Nik Drou]

I know its not a movie poster, but this one caught my eye recently...



Just...none of it seems right...at all.  What's up with Alan Davies' head?  Why is Fry's hand so huge? (that is supposed to be his hand, right?)  Can't they just do a regular photoshoot for these DVD covers?

[Duckula]

Alan Davies' neck looks as though they just clonestamped a portion of his face to cover the area. Incredibly bizarre. I do wonder who gets paid to churn out these abortions, I would knock up a decent cover for free.

[Old Thrashbarg]

And what Dane Cook had to say about it.

[Nik Drou]

And yet he was perfectly okay with this one...

[Glebe]

I think it was Total Film that had this version in their news section a few months back, commenting on how bad it looked:

[The Duck Man]

And yet he was perfectly okay with this one...

And this one, in which has the most terrifying miss-shapen abs known to Christendom.


They're SQUARE!

[Glebe]

'Fruity' Edition, hah!

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

These aren't rubbish, but good. Look at them.

A lot of those are aesthetically pleasing, but I have to wonder about the mindset of whoever made some of them. That Tootsie one - seriously, what the fuck?

Some of them are actually just rubbish as well. The Smokey and the Bandit one looks like it was drawn by a child. Maybe that was intended as a comment on the film's shitness.

[OG Mudbone]

These aren't rubbish, but good. Look at them.

Wow. Those Polish ones are quite something to behold. Special mentions for the Technicolor Indy, a human ribcage with eyes on it, gremlins versus Santa via MS Paint and an airplane rimming itself. Were they actually circulated and used? I hope so. They almost make me wish I lived in Poland (and with my Polish heritage resulting in some excruciatingly dull visits there, that's quite an achievement).

I was going to post those two with Uma Thurman and "Colin Firth", but someone beat me to it.

[Cerys]

This thread reminds me of my response to this Conan the Barbarian poster:



As I recall it was something along the lines of 'has the person who painted this ever actually seen a real human being?'  I mean, come on - if Sandahl Bergman's right thigh really was that shape she'd be walking on a major slant and have perpetual motion sickness.

[El Unicornio, mang]

There is so much wrong with this poster I wouldn't know where to start







This one just for using the best part of the original film to try and sell a total piece of crap sequel

[Duckula]

Someone got fucking paid to make this.

[El Unicornio, mang]

It seems they were so impressed with the poster design they got them back to do the dvd cover:

[non capisco]

'She's Hot! She's Not! He's Nuts!' is also one of the worst ever taglines, as bad as Bulletproof Monk's 'A Monk. A Punk. A Chick. In A Kick-Ass Flick.'

The premise of 'The Hottie And The Nottie' is fairly despicable so it needs despicably bad posters.

[El Unicornio, mang]

But guess what the twist is: The highly attractive actress who is made to look uglier than the vacuous lead actress ends up getting her guy in the end when he realises it's what's inside that counts! Genius.

(I should point out that I know this from reading on imdb, I haven't seen it)

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Did you really need to look at imdb?

[El Unicornio, mang]

I was thinking "there's no way another film could trot out that old cliché again". Clearly I have too much faith in Hollywood...

[mothman]

Gosh. So now at least we know what



. . . will look like when she grows up.