Things we hope happen to weather forecaster Dan Corbett

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

[00:58:49] shoulders: dan corbett the weatherman just called the temperatures 'our finishing numbers for the day'
[00:58:52] shoulders: what an utter cunt
[00:59:08] recurringvillain: good god, no way
[00:59:17] recurringvillain: that's worse than what brian conley said about ken bigley
[00:59:39] shoulders: i hope he gets a gopher thrown at him while he's eating a sandwich
[01:00:19] recurringvillain: I hope someone cooks him into a pie
[01:04:32] recurringvillain: I hope the last thing he sees before he dies is a picture of Ken Bigley's head
[01:04:37] recurringvillain: so he can see what he was worse than
[01:04:50] shoulders: i hope he gets skewered by an errant gale symbol
[01:05:13] recurringvillain: I hope it rains so heavily that he slips on his path and dies of head trauma
[01:05:20] shoulders: hahaha
[01:06:02] recurringvillain: I hope it gets so sunny that his palms become too sweaty for him to operate a steering wheel correctly, causing him to crash into a building that has a weathervane on top of it
[01:06:22] recurringvillain: which is knocked off the roof by the collision and falls through the sunroof, that he has open because of the weather
[01:06:23] recurringvillain: and dies
[01:06:28] recurringvillain: of head trauma
[01:07:02] shoulders: i hope he dies of head trauma in the middle of a coronary in Poundland
[01:07:14] shoulders: crashing into an aisle full of rubber dinosaurs
[01:07:14] recurringvillain: whilst buying a barometer
[01:07:25] shoulders: whilst buying a barometer
[01:07:32] recurringvillain: snap!
[01:08:43] recurringvillain: I hope it gets so windy that he wears an extra heavy coat, which makes him walk slower than normal. Then he misjudges how quickly he can cross the road because he doesn't realize he's been slowed down by the coat, and gets hit by a car and dies
[01:08:46] recurringvillain: of head trauma
[01:09:34] shoulders: i hope he mistakes a breezeblock for a hat
[01:09:36] shoulders: then dies
[01:09:39] shoulders: of head trauma
[01:10:13] recurringvillain: I hope he mistakes a beretta for a hairdryer
[01:10:14] recurringvillain: then dies
[01:10:17] recurringvillain: of head trauma
[01:11:12] shoulders: i hope he mistakes a woman's giant fanny for his phone and gets sent to prison
[01:11:21] shoulders: then bang his head on the bunk bed
[01:11:22] shoulders: and dies
[01:11:24] shoulders: of AIDS
[01:11:29] recurringvillain: and head trauma
[01:12:15] recurringvillain: I hope he mistakes a child's tits for swab testing apparatus and gets hit by the furious father
[01:12:16] recurringvillain: and dies
[01:12:19] recurringvillain: of head trauma
[01:13:00] shoulders: i hope he fucks a goat to death
[01:13:10] shoulders: then jizzes himself off a cliff
[01:13:15] shoulders: dying on the rocks below
[01:13:19] shoulders: of head trauma
[01:13:30] recurringvillain: I hope he gets sucked off to hard
[01:13:31] recurringvillain: and dies
[01:13:34] recurringvillain: of head trauma
[01:13:55] shoulders: i hope he mis-forecasts some light rain and is gunned down by an extremist
[01:13:56] shoulders: in the head
[01:15:25] recurringvillain: the famous controversy
[01:15:43] recurringvillain: "There have been reports coming in of a possible terrorist attack. But don't worry, there's no terrorist attack"
[01:15:52] shoulders: i hope he's bummed to death by canadian wild geese who inaccurately flew home early for the summer
[01:16:03] shoulders: because of his weather forecasts
[01:16:40] recurringvillain: I hope he is thrown out of the next weather man convention and bumps his head when they push him out the door
[01:16:41] recurringvillain: and dies
[01:16:43] recurringvillain: of head trauma
[01:18:16] shoulders: i hope he gets caught in a rain shower he didn't predict and dies in a car crash
[01:18:29] shoulders: of cancer
[01:19:05] recurringvillain: I hope he goes out without a hat on but didn't anticipate the sun and gets skin cancer and dies
[01:19:09] recurringvillain: in a skydiving accident
[01:21:26] recurringvillain: I hope his mum get's fat
[01:21:29] recurringvillain: *gets
[01:21:43] shoulders: hahaha
[01:22:41] shoulders: I hope his alarm doesn't go off and in a rush to get to work to forecast the weather he shits himself in his car and has to pay people to clean his car out who just refuse and beat him to death
[01:23:16] recurringvillain: I hope his whole family get gunned down by a vengeful mother whose son died from cancer caused by misforecast sun
[01:23:21] recurringvillain: and as his family lay bleeding to death
[01:23:38] recurringvillain: a doctor tells them they have contracted cancer from the same misforecast sun and that they have five seconds to live
[01:23:39] recurringvillain: then die
[01:23:43] recurringvillain: (of the cancer)
[01:23:44] shoulders: haha
[01:24:12] shoulders: i hope he slips on a potato and fucks up his hip and has to present the weather from his wheelchair, straining his arm and wincing
[01:24:22] shoulders: like dr strangelove
[01:24:40] recurringvillain: I hope he laughs so hard at a peter sellers film that he has a heart attack
[01:24:57] shoulders: i hope he watches Shine and hangs himself
[01:25:01] recurringvillain: and that he watched the film because he was forced to stay in due to misforecast snow
[01:25:16] shoulders: ha
[01:25:39] recurringvillain: I hope he dies
[01:27:10] recurringvillain: I hope he stands next to a loose set of scaffolding, confident that it won't fall on him because he forecast sun
[01:27:25 | Edited 01:27:50] recurringvillain: but then some unexpected wind kicks in and the structure crushes him to death
[01:28:21] shoulders: haha
[01:28:37] shoulders: I hope he predicts it will be 20 celsius and it turns out to be 21 celsius
[01:28:41] shoulders: and he tops himself with a brick
[01:29:40] recurringvillain: I hope he walks past a school with his cock out thinking that it's August
[01:29:49] recurringvillain: but realizing it's term time and being burnt by a mob
[01:30:20] shoulders: i hope he gets chewing gum in his hair and can't get it out without shaving his head off
[01:31:39] shoulders: i hope he goes on a long cruise around the carribean and while buying a protein shake the ferry leaves without him
[01:31:56] recurringvillain: and not realizing it's sailed off, steps off the boardwalk into the sea and drowns
[01:31:58] recurringvillain: of aids
[01:32:20] shoulders: I hope he accidentally dresses himself to death
[01:32:41] recurringvillain: I hope he puts more than 6mg of salt on his chips
[01:32:47] recurringvillain: and suffers from angina
[01:32:48] shoulders: haha
[01:33:06] shoulders: i hope there is a power cut and he stabs himself to death with a candle
[01:33:40] recurringvillain: I hope he sees a manhole that he can't resist jumping into, but misjudges its depth
[01:34:27] shoulders: i hope he jumps off beachy head, believing the cafe to be 'just that way a bit'
[01:35:30] recurringvillain: I hope he mistakes clifton suspension bridge for a bungee spot, and a strand of hair for a bungee rope
[01:36:01] shoulders: I hope he lines up a sybian anus-wards and someone at the last minute replaces the dildo with a polaroid of suzanne charlton
[01:36:39] recurringvillain: I hope he draws an unflattering picture of an axe murderer

[Zero Gravitas]

I hope he reads this thread.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope Dan Corbett reads this thread and immediately develops Crohn's Disease through worry.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope that he refuses to campaign for a cure for Chron's Disease, giving me an excuse to beat him about the head with a colostomy sack for wanting my Mum to continue suffering with it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope he mistakes soap flakes for a nutritious breakfast cereal.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope that after his refusal to campaign, my Mum dies from the disease and he feels guilty.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope his favourite film Mutiny On The Bounty becomes the single source of crippling self-doubt after a dispute over pay and conditions at the Met Office.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope that to compensate for the guilt he feels for his Mum's death he offers to bear the coffin, but finds it too heavy and falls into my Mum's open grave.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope an astronaut bums him with a meteorite.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope a meteorite bums him with an astronaut.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope his salary is greatly reduced and he has to get his lunch from dustbins.

[weirdbeard]

I was hoping to read a light-hearted slightly whimsical thread with a weather map showing rain, snow, Hurricane Christ, sun and searing heat and picture of his little face looking all puzzled.  Instead we have the kind of rhetoric that will see weathermen getting shot, mark my words.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope the weather one day assembles into the shape of a disapproving face to surprise Dan Corbett as he turns around.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope his Mum sees him eating from the bins, causing her to fold her arms and tut slightly, dismayed at the fallen grace.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope he mistakes the thundercloud that the martians used to get them to earth in the 2005 War of the Worlds movie for a real occurrence and pretends he predicted it, much to his later humiliation.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope he gets into an untenable tautology with a herring.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I hope a banana goes off before he gets the chance to eat it, making him all maudlin and wistful.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope that in fifty years time a movie is made of his life, but directed by Joel Schumacer.

[Recurring Villain]

I hope that the Dan Corbett movie causes a spate of weatherman related films that are eventually parodied by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

[NoSleep]

I hope you all die. There can never be enough Dan Corbett on the telly.

[deadly lampshade]

See, back in my day people knitted jumpers for their beloved weathermen. But that's the Broken ASBO so-called "Great" British youth of today for you. I blame punk rock.

Genuine (albeit rather headache-inducing) answer, cos I think he's cool: