Solutions to Questions Raised in Songs...2

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

Is this the way to Amarillo?

If you're pointing towards Texas, then yes.  Now fuck off over there and take Peter Kay with you, you've both outstayed your welcome.

[jimmy jazz]

Does the body rule the mind or the mind rule the body?

First one. Now go record something, you've only got a few years left with the band before you start pissing away your talent

[butnut]

I loved this thread first time around. Who posted this one:

Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near?

Because I'm made of worms

One of the funniest things I ever read on CaB.

[Slackboy]

From Viz magazine from years ago:

Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble, if I go there will be double.

Go with the one with half the trouble (ie stay); except if you like lots of trouble in which case go.

It was funnier in Viz.

[Ciarán2]

Do you love me, now that I can dance?

No. Your sinister dance-learning project to woo me (or as I really suspect, to make me regret my snubbing of you) has failed miserably. In fact it was quite a bizarre move. I don't care if you can "mash potato" or "do the twist". You are a pest and I still don't even want you around.

[Paaaaul]

Wossamatter you,eh?
Why you look so sad?

Cos the DJs rubbish

[Frinky]

Heeeeee-eeeeeey, baby, I wanna knoooow, if you'll be mah girl?

Nah, sorry.

[Mr Flunchy]

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

You studied hard at school and went on to do an accountancy course at university. Following this you went on to an apprenticeship at a top stockbrokers in the Docklands.  While sniffing coke at a twats party your eyes happened upon a beautiful women giving you a 'come-hither 'expression.  A clinical example of a relationship follows, she likes Alanis Morrissette, Ikea furniture and amphetamines.  Using your ridiculous wage you bought a lovely old Tudor house in Buckingham.   Parts of it are protected by the National Trust.  This annoys you.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Do you like soul music?

No.

[Ciarán2]

Who knows where the time goes?

Prince does. Although I believe they haven't been allowed out of his Paisley Park mansion since 1988.

[Frinky]

Hey fellas, have you heard the news?

No, what is it?

[Mr Flunchy]

Say to me.
Where have you been ,
Finally through the roof,
And how does lemur skin,
Reflect the sea?

It doesn't.  However, the stripy pattern of the Lemur is reminiscent of ripples in the ocean.

[MonkeyDrummer]

Alice - Alice, who the fuck is Alice?

It's the old fucking slag in the midst of chavalance, with 8 red-faced drunk arseholes all pointing at her.

[Mr Flunchy]

Why don't we do it in the road?

It's uncomfortable, and we might get run over.

[kenneth trousers]

What will you do when the war is over, tender comrade?

It depends who wins.

What time is love?

I am sorry, but I don't understand the question.

[Ciarán2]

Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

I'm your English teacher and you're a disgrace.

Isn't it midnight?

Actually, yes it is and I ought to be in bed not posting crap on the internet.

[Cliche Guevara]

Hey you, out there on your own,
Sitting naked by the phone,
Would you touch me?

Fuck off,  stranger.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

How does it make you feel?

Quite odd really, it's such an unbalanced, strange 2nd album, I don't know what to make of it.

[Dusty Gozongas]

....Absolutely nothing.  Say it again!

Waste of time repeating the question, mate.  You've lost the goatee and the hair in favour of iPods and grooming products but you're still a moaning do nowt twat.

[slim]

Doooo ya like good music?

I'd be a fool not to.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Do you really like it? Is it, is it wicked?

Well, quite frankly No. No, No it's not.

[Pythov]

Why does it always rain on me?

It doesn't.  You lied to me when you were seventeen so I took it upon myself to stand over you and piss on your head...for the rest of your life (feel free to call this a Travisty boom-boom).

[Pythov]

Whats new pussycat?

Meow!

[Purple Tentacle]

One of my earliest memories is my dad shouting at Boy George's rhetorical question

Do you really want to hurt me?

[skibz]

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Yep, it's pretty hard to forget when you have to listen to the same fucking song being played a few hundred times every December.

Would you go to bed with me?

Oh, alright then.

[Ambient Sheep]

Well when you say it's gonna happen now, well when exactly do you mean?

Oh Christ, well now you ask, not for another three years or so, mate.

[Ken Oath]

What's love got to do, got to do with it?

Got to do with what? Be more specific.

When will I, will I be famous?

Never again  you effeminate blond has-been.

[RFT]

why is the bedroom so cold?

because you've forgotten to pay the gas bill again, you tight-fisted git.

[terminallyrelaxed]

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

You studied hard at school and went on to do an accountancy course at university. Following this you went on to an apprenticeship at a top stockbrokers in the Docklands.  While sniffing coke at a twats party your eyes happened upon a beautiful women giving you a 'come-hither 'expression.  A clinical example of a relationship follows, she likes Alanis Morrissette, Ikea furniture and amphetamines.  Using your ridiculous wage you bought a lovely old Tudor house in Buckingham.   Parts of it are protected by the National Trust.  This annoys you.

Ace!

[Captain Crunch]

Where's me jumper?

Oh silly me I'm wearing it.