Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 08:59:29 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Ding Mong merrily on high...

Started by sam and janet evening, November 30, 2005, 09:06:31 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

sam and janet evening

Christmas Art

I was thinking of starting a new Illustration challenge since the last one got a pretty fair turn out. Then I thought 'Hmm, the word 'Illustration' does seem to scare people off a bit'. So this is open to anyone, and you can construct your images in whatever way you find most satisfying. In fact an Illustration only needs to 'Illustrate' a point, there's no law saying it can't be a photo/collage/mong/sculpture etc. Anyway...

The idea is to make an image that'll serve as your christmas card to the rest of the 'whores.

As I say you can use any medium, and do bear in mind the words of my old art teacher;
"Ideas are far more important than technique"

Anyway It'd be nice if everyone contributed at least a squiggle, y'know 'tis the season' and that.

Right, the deadline's christmas eve (although probably best to get stuff in the week before to allow the optimum number of people the chance to see it).

sproggy

Is it that time of year already?

Here's my usual contribution, I shall continue to post it every year in the 'christmas mong' thread until everybody is thoroughly distraught.


Jemble Fred

Not posting this in a 'look, we done done it' way, just so's we can see what went down last year:

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=5428&highlight=xmas

And this one is a warning to all on just how popular Xmas Creativity threads can be: http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=5934&highlight=xmas

Suttonpubcrawl

There were carol singers at my university yesterday. Fucking CAROL SINGERS!!


Almost Yearly

Sorry to break in, but here's where I show off my new improved house-bling for this year. It's 2x3m and all animated in an ever-changing multi-combinational way, and as usual it nearly killed me making it and hoiking it up there, so I'm moved to share.


Beagle 2

Crikey it's huge, how did you get it up there?

slim

"making it"? What's it made of? How did you do it? Thread! Thread!

Almost Yearly

Oops, sorry thread starter, I'll just quickly answer and then run off and make something nice and back-on-topic. Maybe.

Two sections of that galvanised steel lattice fencing stuff, each three and a half foot by ten, pliers-and-coathangered together. (Only paid for one, loaded the van right underneath the yard security cameras, bit of a blind spot there. Twenty fucking seven quid each indeed.) One sixteen metre green ropelight, one ten metre multicolored ropelight, one ready-made red white and blue flashy star. One big fuck off masonry drill and an expanding bolt thingummy with a hook on it. One Lidl bag containing all the programme controllers and extension hub, sealed 'gainst the elements with gaffer, slung on the roof, cable down through bathroom skylight, one 24hr timer plug.

One (wooden, bendy) ladder long enough to reach right up to the chimney so I could get up there and haul the whole thing up by the power of my biceps and fear alone. Okay, also by the power of two blokes seconded from the pub to lift it up to me. It's heavy.

The main feature of my design is its flexibility - as the ropelights are simply woven throught the fencing, I can do a different design every year. The occupants of the pub have requested a pair of lady's open legs for next year. No problem, as long as the frame will hang up in landscape without bending away from the wall too much, we'll see.

Beagle 2

Ooh it's like Extreme Blue Peter! It's a bit of class and no mistake, makes next door but one's look a bit poxy, they must love you. But I'm afraid I can't condone stealing, so I shall of course be forwarding the incriminating post to Lapland with instructions to piss down your chimney.



Still Not George

QuoteI saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
The dirty slut

Good work all round. More! More!

hencole

Quote from: "Almost Yearly"picture

planet, neighbours, house prices, area, social standing, class  -  down 3 points,
car/santa accidents - up 2.

Jemble Fred

To be fair, that's very restrained compared to most external Xmas decorations.

Did anyone ever make a VW Xmas card using the images we came up with this time last year? I'd do it myself, but some bugger wiped my copy of Photoshop off this work Mac. :(

bomb_dog

Quote from: "Almost Yearly"Sorry to break in, but here's where I show off my new improved house-bling for this year. It's 2x3m and all animated in an ever-changing multi-combinational way, and as usual it nearly killed me making it and hoiking it up there, so I'm moved to share.

I don't mean to be a cunt, but have you got this thing fitted by a qualified electrician? (Or are you one?) I mention it because our local council has told someone with lights on the outside of their house to either produce a certificate that the set-up is 'safe' (notice use of inverted commas there) or to take them down. Something to do with new Health and Safety regs that mean you can't even re-wire a plug without a licence to do so.

Just thought I'd mention it in case you get them a-knocking on your door...

hencole

Why would they do that? They don't for internal lights, or even year round external lights do they? They couldn't possibly police it as it would mean checking everyones house for dogy wiring.

I wouldn't be so sure
Though it is Cornwall.  Normal laws do not apply.

Almost Yearly

I'm more concerned about people's heads and windscreens and my lack of public liability insurance. Ho ho ho.

bomb_dog

New Rules for electrical safety in the home

QuoteYou do not need to tell your local authority's Building Control Department about:

   * repairs, replacements and maintenance work; or
   * extra power points or lighting points or other alterations to existing circuits (except in a kitchen or bathroom, or outdoors).

You need to tell them about most other work.

If you are not sure about this, or you have any questions, ask your local authority's Building Control Department.

We've not long had our kitchen done. If we changed any sockets we'd need to get someone in....boo!

Tre


Brad

Great looking decoration AY.

I'm wondering though is it held firm by it's weight alone on the one hook or is it also secured to the wall lower down. If a freak high wind were to catch it one night it could take off that hook like a sail and do some damage.

Has it got a RCD fitted?

Almost Yearly

:-) I'm so sorry, sam and janet (viicccce).

It's a proper four inch long expanding bolt on the hook, like this. And I've banged a U-shaped jobby into the wall to hold the bottom of the frame flush, and this will hopefully also stop it jumping off the hook [/Maxwell]. I'm off out this morning to get second U-shaped jobby.

RCD? No, but to put your mind at rest it's not plugged in in my bedroom, it's in the toddler's, next to his cot. Just for you and him I'll get one of those too while I'm out.

Thank you all for your concern and advice. :-) Now, about my marriage...

Tre - any chance you can turn that into a visual, just to head off this page with something on topic?



Edit: Oh, no, just a lazy fart that was, referring to Brad and Janet and Rocky Horror audience participation. (If you don't know, her surname's Weiss and the crowd all go "viicccce" whenever it's mentioned.)
V V V

sam and janet evening

ah, no worries mate.
I posted the thread early so that people would have time to come up with stuff. Any chrimbo-art related stuff that goes on in the meantime is fine - keeps the thread up. And anyway, I'm always impressed by people who go to town with their decorations.

err, whats the '(viicccce)' bit about? I've only just got back from work so I may be missing something obvious through tiredness.

weekender

AY, I will pay you a small amount of money if you can create and affix a set of lights to my house which appear to be Satanistic.

In fact, they can be Satanistic, I don't care ;).

Google isn't helping me in a demonstration of what I want.

Almost Yearly

How about you sitting on Satan's knee, or you kissing Satan's Claws underneath the mistletoe.

Both of which are mongs I can't be arsed to engineer, so the lightshow seems unlikely.

Top Tip: Why spend good money taking your kids to see the municipal lights being turned on when due to streetlamp tapping, black market infrastructure and nothing better to do, your local chav estate looks much more impressive? Take your own hot dogs, but hold on tight to them.

Lt Plonker


TraceyQ

All I want for Christmas is one of Plonker's cartoons.

sproggy


Mark Lawson