How Many...

[Still Not George]

(Not my own work, sorry, but I felt this was terribly appropriate to my beloved VW)

How Many Internet Forum Members Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been  
changed  

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the  
light bulb could have been changed differently  

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs  
1 to move it to the Lighting section  

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section  

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light  
bulbs  

5 to flame the spell checkers  

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames  

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another  
6 to condemn those 6 as stupid  

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term  
is "lamp"  

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light  
bulb" is perfectly correct  

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please  
take this discussion to a lightbulb forum  

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light  
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum  

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where  
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for  
this technique and what brands are faulty  

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs  

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the  
corrected URL's  

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to  
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group  

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including  
all headers and  
signatures, and add "Me too"  

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they  
cannot handle the light bulb controversy  

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"  

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions  
about light bulbs"  

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and  
start the whole argument over again...

[Rubbish Monkey]

.......and 5 people to change the subject to wanking  (?)

[Uncle_Z]

(not my own work, sorry, but I felt this was terribly appropriate to by beloved VW)

Shouldn't that be "Not" and "my"?

/me legs it

[Still Not George]

I care not for your mortal grammar. Away from me, worm.

(either that or I have Typo Flu)

[Blue Jam]

Lightbulb sex

[Hairy Chin]

I'm leaving due to lightbulb controversy. *





* by which I mean I'm leaving in a sore bottom mum kind of way, in that I'm not actually leaving at all.

[king mob]

I'm awaiting the lightbulb purists to arrive & tell us how to really appreciate lightbulbs, especially the ones they've bought off eBay.

[Cheese Arse H Christ]

"Typo 'flu" I think you'll find.

[Lt Plonker]

I once saw a lightbulb I liked, but was too nervous to ask it out. I've never had a lightbulb before.

[Hairy Chin]

I'm awaiting the lightbulb purists to arrive & tell us how to really appreciate lightbulbs, especially the ones they've bought off eBay.

i was trying to get a really nice one to share with the group, but some cunt bought it before me. Sorry chaps.

[12 Storey Crisis]

My doctor has been prescribing me lightbulbs for about a year now. I started on 20-watt, but he moved me up to 60-watt just before Xmas. I think it was a bright idea.

[Marcus Or Relius]

How many relatives of Nigarian millionaires who died last year in a plane crash does it take to change a light-bulb?

None. Thanks to complicated tax-reasons, they can't change the bulb because the government will confiscate all light output of the new bulb. Therefore they have to e-mail a million Westerners asking them to transfer five-light bulbs to an anonymous Swiss lamp in order to be rewarded with sixty-quintillion US-dollars from the grateful Nigerians.

[Neil]

1 person to complain about people making text so bloody small that it can't be read without cutting and pasting it into the url bar.

[Robot DeNiro]

Huh, I can't believe you are still talking about lightbulbs, you bunch of sad bastards.  Lightbulbs did all their best work with Thomas Edison (who was a GENIUS by the way).

Dark is much funnier.

[Neil]

If you don't understand the need for lightbulbs then you're just a fucking idot who deserves the Dark anyway!!

[Still Not George]

Pah. Dark is a fad. All you people using Lightbulbs are just schoolboy wankers trying to be different, but you're jut conforming in a different way. I am the only individual in the world, because I put a banana into my light socket. It gave me an electrical shock, and left me talking about Beadle fucking a penguin for three and a half hours, but at least I'm not a trend-following shit like you. You're all shit, I'd beat up every Lightbulb owner I could find if I could see them. In all this dark.


Shit.

[Cambrian Times]

fucking idot

I'd post a good comment but I can't stop gut laughing.

[Cerys]

Lightbulbs are all part of a conspiracy anyway.  Before the evil capitalists forced them on an unsuspecting public, humans were quite capable of seeing for up to fifty metres in pitch-black conditions.  Lightbulbs affect the retina in such a way as not only to reduce the overall vision of the population (look at the increase in glasses wearers over the last two hundred years), but also as a form of psychological control.  As a result although we're all paranoid and expecting the shadowy men in suits to get us, we're too damn blind to notice them when they show up.

[12 years, 11 months old]

I think lightbulbs are underrepresented on this forum.  There is not, as far as I'm aware, an openly fluorescent verbwhore.

[terminallyrelaxed]

There used to be aa guy called neon meated dream though....

[sore bottom mum]

I think lightbulbs are underrepresented on this forum.  There is not, as far as I'm aware, an openly fluorescent verbwhore.

<raises hand sheepishly>

Umm... well done you. Whenever I hear someone describe something as 'fluorescent' in a derogatory way, I sort of wince inwardly. It isn't necessarily hurtful, as long as they mean to use the word independently of its 'absorbing radiation and admitting it in the form of light' meaning - however, the two meanings ultimately are inextricably linked, etymologically speaking, and it's impossible not to take personally. It justs makes me think 'damn it, I wish you wouldn't say that'.

[Uncle_Z]

Oh yeah?  Bit of a "bayonet boy" are you then?

[Cerys]

Hur hur hur.  He said 'bayonet'.

Edit to type lol

[iain]

And then out of the darkness stepped...

Phil  Lament



ding dong

got 35mm coloured Dichroich?





im up too late =[

[Cerys]

You, sir, are a very silly man.  I salute you.

[Mr Flunchy]

May I refer you all to this link:

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/lightbulbs/story/bush-lightbulb-catastrophe0,12956,1163520,00.html

They're controlling our MINDS with these bulbs.

Man.

[king mob]

Don't you realise the godlike genius of lightbulbs

[gazzyk1ns]

Can't believe all the people in here talking about fucking lightbulbs, I think you need to get out and get a girlfriend and shag loads of women like what I do all the time.

[king mob]

The lightbulb is still working with that cunt of a strip light  who should stick to its poxy website that has no godlike genius about it.




cunt.

[sore bottom mum]

strip lights?? It's candles that really get on my wick.

<goes home>