Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?

[I'm like a white Van Gogh]

oh...Betty!... This is a good talking point.
I personally have a recent distaste for the 'goaty' .... although i completely see sense in an early 20th century moustache. I'm fascinated to see what others think....

With the love of a proud Father, thanks xxxx

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Your poll is confusing....

Brent-goatees are hideous, and the only person on the planet who can get away with one is Robert Pires.

Full beards only work if you think you're Graham Chapman, or you're greying noticably.

Look at me telling people what to do. Do what you want, but accept the circumstances of your shitty facial hair!

[fanny splendid]

You just wait until your balls drop, then you too can experience the wonder of facial hair.

I have had a handlebar a couple of times, but haven't yet tried the Victorian combined bushy moustache and sideburns. Currently I have a bushy goatee, desire a Frank Zappa, and sometimes enjoy an Uncle Albert.

Why? Because I can...

[Garfield And Friends]

The goatse was the best... 'til they banned it of course.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

You just wait until your balls drop, then you too can experience the wonder of facial hair.

Cheeky cunt. I've got facial hair at the moment, and I seriously need a shave.

Do a google image search under goatee. You've got enough material there to avatar every site from here to Tahiti.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

The goatse was the best... 'til they banned it of course

http://www.penguinhosting.net/~jpeck/prime/

It lives on, even teaching children maths.

[fanny splendid]

Heh, I like that, but I bet there are a thousand whores ready to scream,

"Aaaaargh, not work safe, put it behind a link, blah, blah, blah!"

[terminallyrelaxed]

There are goatees and there are goatees;

Yuck. Fuck off you slimy little oik.

Hey. A man could make a home in a beard like that. Mine is of this variety, although slightly more blonde.You meet someone in a beard like that and, if you'r polite, with in a few moments  they'll offer you a joint or some cider. Or possibly ask you if you're aware of the plight of the Sumatran Laundry Vole....

[Garfield And Friends]

It lives on, even teaching children maths.

Hee hee!

[Sherringford Hovis]

Goatees=evil? A cliche that's been done to death by everyone from Star Trek to Southpark.

I presently sport a skinny 'chin mohican' of the surfer-dude/Dave Gorman variety in an attempt to hide the fact that my overbite is of Simpson-esque proportions. Mrs Hovis doesn't appreciate the aesthetics of it, but is more than happy with the sensual advantages.

Goatees are great, and I have one on occasion - many proponents of this particular style of facial topiary are known to be able to get away without shaving the cheeck-bits for days on end without anyone noticing, even in a 'smart' office.

Shaving every day is just plain wrong - there's something about waving a blade around that close to your own fizzog at an unearthly hour of the morning that is a microcosm of the multitudinous stupidities of human society... and as for women shaving themselves all over, that's damn stupid too. If you're a bloke that's put off a woman by a bit of fuzz here and there, you're just a paedo in denial.

[Vermschneid Mehearties]

Heh, I like that, but I bet there are a thousand whores ready to scream,

"Aaaaargh, not work safe, put it behind a link, blah, blah, blah!"

It's generally considered not work safe to click on any link which has the word goatse in the same post. Or is that common sense.

Sorry, anyway- just for the record 'whores, this:

http://www.penguinhosting.net/~jpeck/prime/

Is not safe to click on should you be at work. Though it is hilarious (and educational).

[fanny splendid]

Since when was common sense a pre-requisite to being a Verbwhore?


Yep, that's almost mine.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Mrs Hovis doesn't appreciate the aesthetics of it, but is more than happy with the sensual advantages.

Funny, its the other way round with Senora TR.

Goatees are great, and I have one on occasion - many proponents of this particular style of facial topiary are known to be able to get away without shaving the cheeck-bits for days on end without anyone noticing, even in a 'smart' office.

Oh yes indeed.

[El Unicornio, mang]

I think Britain has to be the only country in the world where people can be cynical about facial hair. Fuck it, if you want facial hair, have it. I had a goatee for a while but I felt a bit too serious with it, it made me feel about 10 years older and I don't like that feeling, so I shaved it off.

[Silver SurferGhost]

Me, I've been a beardy, as the first Mrs SurferGhost said she liked it, although in retrospect it was probably
more like she knew that no other woman would come within ten miles of me if I had one.
She also said it hid a "multitude of chins", which I thought was rather a good one.
I got rid of said facial accoutrement at the earliest opportunity, and now I'm fighting off  the birds with a stick of course.
Much to the potential future Mrs SurferGhost's amusement.

I reckon though that If you are going to invest in some sort of facial hair, don't fuck about like a big girl's blouse.
Go for the full Father Christmas, or take a leaf out of this gentleman's book

and grow one long enough to tie a great fat knot in.

God how I've missed that preview function

[I'm like a white Van Gogh]

[poison popcorn]

I got rid of said facial accoutrement at the earliest opportunity, and now I'm fighting off  the birds with a stick of course.

heh, probably wondering where their nest had gone...

i like the time saving aspects of facial hair, even grown sideburns so now i reckon i have to shave only about 60% of my face. and only every few days. i know if i was true to my laziness though i'd have to grow a gandalf...

[Ambient Sheep]

Goatees are great, and I have one on occasion - many proponents of this particular style of facial topiary are known to be able to get away without shaving the cheeck-bits for days on end without anyone noticing, even in a 'smart' office.

Oh yes indeed.

Yup, that's one of the main reasons I have one - shaving brings me up in a nasty rash, so I try to do it as little as possible.  However I don't like having a full beard for various reasons.  However with a goatee I only have to shave once a week, because in contrast to it the otherwise-unacceptable stubble on the cheeks doesn't become noticeable for about that long.  Two weeks if you're lucky.

[Gazeuse]

That's me.

It's a Brent.

[Silver SurferGhost]

Your lighting is good though.

[fanny splendid]

That's me.

It's a Brent.

It's almost a Geej.

[Gazeuse]

Your lighting is good though.

And they airbrushed out my double chin and wrinkles.

[Silver SurferGhost]

Now that we've got the troll sussed, can we reclaim this thread as it  became  quite interesting.
I never knew Ambient was bearded, for a start, it's just not how I imagined him.
Unless someone else wants to start a Beards thread, that might be better.

Oh, and it becoming interesting was nowt to do with you though, matey :winks:
....and to think I nearly helped it post it's image.

[Blue Jam]

Full beards only work if you think you're Graham Chapman

I reckon though that If you are going to invest in some sort of facial hair, don't fuck about like a big girl's blouse.
Go for the full Father Christmas, or take a leaf out of  [Vivian Stanshall's] book
and grow one long enough to tie a great fat knot in.

The two beardists mentioned above actually looked better with beards, which is rare, but this was possibly because they looked anaemic without them.
I agree with the "all-or-nothing" approach to beards, but the goatee isn't so simple- some fat men grow them to make their faces look less fat, but out of a double chin or a crap beard, which is the lesser of the two evils? Do full beards make fat men look even fatter?

Who is the owner of the best beard ever then? The best one I've ever seen belongs to a friend of mine, who really suits his beard, but he's a ginger geezer too, and would probably look pasty-faced without it. I don't want to imagine him without it- it'd be like imagining him with a missing limb, it suits him so well.

And has anyone ever looked really good with a moustache?

I knew a woman with a beard once- it was a downy, fluffy one, short and only really noticeable close up, but definitely a full beard :o

[El Unicornio, mang]

And has anyone ever looked really good with a moustache?

Burt Reynolds

[sore bottom mum]

i see a moustache as a good anti surfer-look statement....and i think that the Beatles carried moustaches off quite well.

[Rubbish Monkey]

And has anyone ever looked really good with a moustache?

I wanted a Carlio's way style beard once



I looked like the bastard son of  Jeremy Beadle.

[Blue Jam]

Alright, alright- quick poll:

Best beard?

Best moustache?

I couldn't think of any good 'taches before- the word "moustache" still makes me think of Ian Beale. This is surprising as I'm obsessed with facial hair in general, especially eyebrows, and don't get me started on monobrows...
Oh, and has anyone seen BBC2's Crafty Tricks of War- that programme with the pigeon-guided missiles and pigeon parachutes? The war technology expert on that has a full-on walrus 'tache- I'll try and find a pic.

And there's Jutl's old avatar, of course.

Edited to say: I couldn't find a pic, but a search of BBCi threw up this page, with details of a new history series with Terry Jones. That's nice.

[butnut]

I nominate this man for best beard:



And doesn't he bear a similarity with a certain former Iraqi dictator?

[Little Blind Timothy]

The worst beards are to found on small-company business people in their 40's sat on London tubes..... with fun socks.