Poll

moustaches better without goaty?

Moustache
7 (25%)
Goaty
10 (35.7%)
full beard
11 (39.3%)

Total Members Voted: 28

Voting closed: February 03, 2004, 05:44:26 PM

Author Topic: Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?  (Read 4833 times)

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #30 on: February 04, 2004, 12:56:29 AM »
Quote from: "Rubbish Monkey"
I wanted a Carlito's way style beard once.

That's the type I had when I could be arsed to groom it properly, except mine also had ginger bits in it.
Not a good look in the mid-nineties, me and Hooky and that was about it, and he had the decency to start dyeing his.

I've known a woman with one of those downy jobs as well, and was on intimate enough terms with her to get to stroke it.
It was an oddly exciting experience.

Best Beard? You've seen my choice already. He did it so it wouldn't keep dipping in his paint, didn't he?
WG Grace a very close second.

Best Moustache?
Yep, The Crafty Secrets of War bloke is England's finest exponent.
And there's the old feller who used to be in the What's In My Bag section of that TV quiz of Wossy's.
Both military men by the way, which reminds me, has anybody still got that link to The Handlebar Club ?
As for the Yanks, Reynolds is tempting, but it's gotta be the Selleck-meister, AKA Magnum PI.
As for The Rest Of The World, Salvador Dali, no contest.

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #31 on: February 04, 2004, 12:56:35 AM »
look at these handsome young face muffs




Pacino as Serpico and the Zappa


This beautiful creature is me

Blue Jam

  • OPERATION THUNDERBARGE
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #32 on: February 04, 2004, 01:02:08 AM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
Has anybody still got that link to The Handlebar Club ?


Byker Grove? I thought that bloke with the handlebar moustache looked a bit odd even when I was aged nine.

There was a fine selection of facial hair  here once, with a handy guide to what the different shapes of facial hair say about their owners, but they've updated the page and now it's gone :(

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #33 on: February 04, 2004, 01:04:53 AM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
Has anybody still got that link to The Handlebar Club ?


Try Here


fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #34 on: February 04, 2004, 01:07:39 AM »
Sam Elliot


I might have one of these next.

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #35 on: February 04, 2004, 01:16:38 AM »
Cheers for that link butnut!

If you were wondering by the way, on the bom'b shelter I kept posting oh for fucks sake cos you kept posting
at exactly the same time as me and interrupting my pithy rejoinders.
I am still so traumatised I have stopped doing THE DOT, so I hope you are happy.

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #36 on: February 04, 2004, 01:17:00 AM »
There's always the Monkey (on now C4)



Why not have a look at his band?

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #37 on: February 04, 2004, 01:20:13 AM »

That's the What's In My Bag? bloke, I'm sure.
Mike Solomons.

Look at that 'tache!

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #38 on: February 04, 2004, 01:22:13 AM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
Cheers for that link butnut!

If you were wondering by the way, on the bom'b shelter I kept posting oh for fucks sake cos you kept posting
at exactly the same time as me and interrupting my pithy rejoinders.
I am still so traumatised I have stopped doing THE DOT, so I hope you are happy.


Ah, don't worry. I was getting a little worried that you were having some go at me, and I couldn't see any real reason and you weren't Weekender. And now, I feel bad that I made you stop DOTTING. Hey, why not do it now and again, just for old times' sake?

Ambient Sheep

  • Not long now
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #39 on: February 04, 2004, 01:23:08 AM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
I never knew Ambient was bearded, for a start, it's just not how I imagined him.

Have you never looked at meet photo threads?!

Actually...don't bother.  I'm not in any of the photos, honest.  You don't want to look anyway.  (No I mean it, you don't. want. to. look.  It's not nice.)

Quote from: "Blue Jam"
And has anyone ever looked really good with a moustache?

Ron Mael from Sparks.  It's too late at night to dig out a good photo.

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #40 on: February 04, 2004, 01:26:41 AM »
Nah, I never look at meet photos Ambient, I prefer to imagine you all as younger and sexier than me.
Quote from: "fanny splendid"

Why not have a look at his band?

Ha, brilliant.
Quote
...check out his furry hands!


. :winks:

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #41 on: February 04, 2004, 01:26:47 AM »
What about 'Har mar superstar'?

Ambient Sheep

  • Not long now
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #42 on: February 04, 2004, 01:35:10 AM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
Nah, I never look at meet photos Ambient, I prefer to imagine you all as younger and sexier than me.

Well you'd be very disappointed then.  At least in most cases.  Even the most beautiful of us seem to have at least one flaw or another.

So what *do* you imagine me to look like, then?  (Go on, it can't be much worse than the truth.)

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #43 on: February 04, 2004, 01:41:39 AM »
I don't really imagine you (or anyone I haven't actually seen pics of, by accident) in any corporeal sense.
I just never imagined you with any facial furniture.

At a push I'd say you also had short dark hair, and was rather tall and rangy.
Anymore than that and it would be like spoiling some beautiful dream, or summat, and if I'm wrong,
don't tell me.

We did a thread about this, didn't we, which I avoided like the plague in case I discovered too much.

Blue Jam

  • OPERATION THUNDERBARGE
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #44 on: February 04, 2004, 01:46:59 AM »
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"
Ron Mael from Sparks.  It's too late at night to dig out a good photo.


Yes, but I know what you mean. I used to have an article (from Mojo, I think) with the Mael brothers listing their reasons for and against moustaches (Russell: "What's the point in arguing against moustaches? Surely it's like arguing against smallpox or dodos. There's just no point anymore. Ron: "Brainy babes dig it.") Sadly I don't have it with me.

gazzyk1ns

  • "I don't give a shit if your dad's dead or anything else"
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #45 on: February 04, 2004, 03:16:49 AM »
In answer to Blue Jam's earlier question, Brian Blessed clearly wears a beard better than any other human being.

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #46 on: February 04, 2004, 03:41:43 AM »
...and Brian Blessed's beard climbs mountains as well.

How the hell did I not think of him?

gazzyk1ns

  • "I don't give a shit if your dad's dead or anything else"
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #47 on: February 04, 2004, 08:15:19 PM »
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"

However I don't like having a full beard for various reasons.


Do you mean that when performing oral sex on a female, a full beard irritates her inner thighs? Because that's what we all assume you mean.

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #48 on: February 04, 2004, 08:35:02 PM »
The Velcro effect: Getting locked in, down under.™

Smackhead Kangaroo

  • Losing is always an option
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #49 on: February 04, 2004, 08:45:11 PM »
AS a thought Rowan Atkinson looks more dashing doing his Blackadder thing with a goatee. Without his face reminds me too much of all his other loser type characters. I'm surprised he wouldn't have one permanently.

Ambient Sheep

  • Not long now
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #50 on: February 04, 2004, 09:17:36 PM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
At a push I'd say you also had short dark hair, and was rather tall and rangy.  Anymore than that and it would be like spoiling some beautiful dream, or summat, and if I'm wrong, don't tell me.

Fair enough!  Interesting, though.

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"
However I don't like having a full beard for various reasons.

Do you mean that when performing oral sex on a female, a full beard irritates her inner thighs? Because that's what we all assume you mean.

<laughs out loud> No, not at all!  Never even crossed my mind!  Although now you mention it I did get that complaint once in the days when I had a full beard.  Ahem.

I didn't list the reasons partly because they were boring and partly because I'm not 100% certain of them myself, so I couldn't be arsed.  It looks a bit untidy, and it turns women off, whereas many of them seem to like the look of a goatee provided you keep it neat.  Also unless you like it going all the way down your neck like a gorilla or something (and the MD of the company I worked at when I first grew one didn't, he actually stopped me in a corridor and asked me to trim it back!!, mind you he also used to issue memos on how to go to the toilet properly) you have to trim it past a certain line anyway, so why not trim it back to a goatee?  Also my cheeks got too hot in the summer.  All sorts of little reasons, no one great overwhelming one.

I did try having a moustache only for about a year back in the 80s, and I looked so fucking embarrassing it just wasn't true.  I see the photos now and I start whimpering.

If shaving were quick and easy for me I'd probably be clean-shaven; as it is the goatee's the best compromise.  (Last time we had this discussion I got Torty to take a photo of the holocaust-that-was-my-neck the next time I shaved, but I never got round to posting it.  I probably still won't this time.)

Ambient Sheep

  • Not long now
Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #51 on: February 04, 2004, 09:28:20 PM »
Quote from: "Blue Jam"
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"
Ron Mael from Sparks.  It's too late at night to dig out a good photo.

Yes, but I know what you mean.

Well for anybody else who doesn't know who they are, here are some photos.  None are truly great, but they'll have to do.


and this one, which is rather big and would stretch most people's pages.

I might have that Mojo interview.  I might even dig it out.  And pigs might fly.  :-(

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #52 on: February 04, 2004, 09:30:06 PM »
Yes, goaties are fucking ridiculous and make you look like a cunt. Three pages?

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #53 on: February 07, 2004, 07:46:20 AM »
---------------
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Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #54 on: February 07, 2004, 04:11:09 PM »
Sorry yeah, three fucking pages and only now I'm contributing. for my namesake's sake I should have got stuck in a bit sooner really.

I've just got the chin bit - I tried the 'round the mouth'  full on thing when I was having a shave the other week (after not shaving for a good while previously, of course), and I think it looked too Brent-ish on me, despite not having slicked-back hair...the Brent still shone through. So I just have the chin-part of the goatee as opposed to the full-on mouth-disc thing that some folk sport.

I did (foolishly) have a facial-hair equivalent of the 'brazilian' for a (very) short while...it was the most I was prepared to shave off at the time otherwise I wouldn't be Hairy Chin any more. But I noticed that I had a very small blemish on the skin of my chin - and that certainly wasn't there before I grew my face-fuzz. So I've not shaved my chin bald, partly in order to hide this bizarre occurance of a marking that's appeared beneath the hair for some reason, partly because I like having a hairy chin, and parly because I'm lazy.

Three fucking pages eh?

Is the 'goaty' beard the worst facial hair choice?
« Reply #55 on: February 07, 2004, 04:25:42 PM »
In my days of facial hair, I used to do the Zappa Imperial.  For those uncultured types out there, it's a tache with a little dot of hair under your bottom lip, in the style of the late great Frank Zappa.