£125,000,000

[terminallyrelaxed]

A year partying and acquiring things, and then walk the earth getting in adventures and shit, like Kane from Kung Fu. Maybe the odd good deed thrown in.

You know, dropping bundles of cash in beggars laps, a few million to Guy's, seeing how many oiled Vegas strippers you can fit in a Beetle, that kind of thing.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Theres only one sure way not to win.

[Frinky]

A train with 20 carriages, each more extravagant than the last, travelling in a loop around england. It never stops, and I'd live in a different carriage each day, admiring the view, and running over the common man who dare trespass on my MIGHTY RAILWAY

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I've got no problem with people picking me up on my points, just when they do it in the style you did it in above. There's quite a few people on here and plenty of people willing to put me in my place if I talk shit. It doesn't happen most of the time though, which is why I resent the implication that I spend all day doing so.

[Frinky]

CHOO CHOO

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Does it seem miserly to suggest it might cost more than 100 million quid to achieve? If so we've gone far past the point when someone suggested than 100 million pounds is more than one man can spend.

[Frinky]

I'd spend £50,000 on reclaimed, old rolling stock, £20,000 on an old steam locomotive that needed work, and a million or so on getting it all repaired. Then I'd use the rest of the money to blackmail the goverment into building and maintaining my railway, as a tourist attraction once I've run over the queen in a smaller, more portable train.

CHOO CHOO

[vacant]

With that much cash, think of all the knighthoods and lordships you'd be able to to buy. Fun for the whole family.

[Craig Torso]

I'd buy Frinky his railyway but only let him have it if he gives me his Deloreans.  If he refuses, I'll buy all the Deloreans he doesn't have and run them over with his train thus destroying both at the same time.  I would also buy a video camera to film his reaction.

I would also never work again.

[Frinky]

I would also buy a video camera

Trust me, you always forget the little things

[Craig Torso]

I would also buy a video camera

Trust me, you always forget the little things

Not that time, I remembered it.  You even quoted the bit where I remembered.

[Leila]

I'd spend £50,000 on reclaimed, old rolling stock, £20,000 on an old steam locomotive that needed work, and a million or so on getting it all repaired. Then I'd use the rest of the money to blackmail the goverment into building and maintaining my railway, as a tourist attraction once I've run over tvery he queen in a smaller, more portable train.

CHOO CHOO

We need a steam train thread.

OK, if I won the euromillions I'd sort all my family out with a million each blah blah blah, and then spend lots on putting on gigs for myself and whoever else fancies coming along as well.

Money being no expense gigs in mind would be Sigur Ros on an iceberg, a big filthy techno rave on a hired cruise ship, The Fall in my sitting room and stuff like that.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'd pay my way into a Formula 1 team! Even if I was shite I'd just give them more and more money to placate them. Then I'd try and beat Ricardo Rossets best lap time at Monaco just so I can say to everyone "I wasn't the worst Formula 1 driver in history".

[vacant]

Almost enough cash to pay off a student loan.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Frinky, I think you're underestimating severely the amount of money railways cost these days. I seem to remember hearing ridiculous statistics like every 100 metres of the Jubilee line extension costing hundreds of millions of pounds or something along those lines. That was mostly underground, yes, but you get the idea.  £100,000,000 would hardly get you between two stations!

[Purple Tentacle]

I'd spend it on hitmen to kill people who say 'I'd give it to charity and do wonderful things with it.'.  That's not a personal dig at you by the way S?S!, although you'd be included in the cull for your post up there. Along with Maximash. You'd both feel my wrath along with all the other people who said similar, oh yes, no hiding from the super-rich bastard, I can buy the law, I would be all powerful.

After that hail of hot bullets would be all the people who won the lottery in the past and insisted that it wouldn't change their lives. I would blow their unimaginative brains all over their council houses, stupid cunts.

Then I'd kill a whole load more people, then get addicted to coke and go into rehab then take more coke then go into rehab, then divorce Mrs Tentacle then remarry her then experiment with gayness and bribe the gay to keep quiet, then buy a TV channel, then have a wank with 2 condoms on, then stick 50 quid up my arse, oh deary me....

[Suttonpubcrawl]

then stick 50 quid up my arse, oh deary me....

Oh dear indeed, you shouldn't have done it with 1p coins.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I wasn't aiming at some moral highground- I mean I'd probably put a million aside for my personal legal immunity whilst I exterminate every dog and pigeon in Britain. How Charidee and Bono and wristband am I now, eh?

The charity stuff is for the serious response to receiving 100M. In clod-cuckoo-billionaire land I'd probably do an Abramovich.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Abramovich is surely worth many times that amount.

[Purple Tentacle]

I'd buy a new arse, then cure polio before Bill Gates and mock him in a series of full page newspaper adverts printed in hologram, then buy the original masters of Sex And The City and batter the females in my office to death with them, then force Shigeru Miyamoto to play Super Mario World and Yoshi's Island all the way to completion and shout 'THAT'S how you do it, remember, duuuh???' while rapping his fat lazy head with a ROB NES accessory bought off eBay for £99,000,000

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

He's a billionaire though isn't he? He's worth 12.5 billion, something like that.

Mind you if I had cash like that I'd look reasonably more excited about it ,rather than going around with the expression as if I've just been told my mum's ill.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Crikey, we're talking about £100,000,000 as if it's more than any person could ever do anything with, and Abramovich has 125 times as much money. Funny old world eh?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yup- these days 100 million quid can go like that if you aren't careful. I'm looking at you, Jacko and Tyson. Well, when I say 'looking'..I mean 'wincing'.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I'd buy a hundred million lottery tickets.

[klaatu!]

This thread reminds me of this fantastic Louis C.K routine.

I'd probably end up blowing it all on CDs. Or maybe 10 billion fruit salad sweets.

[Sherringford Hovis]

10 billion fruit salad sweets.

That's not even enough for two each if you hand 'em round to everyone.

Cheapskate.

[Lt Plonker]

I'd get the first round in at the next meet. The Milky Bars would be on me.

[mook]

I'd see how many beetles I could fit in an oiled up Las Vegas stripper.

[Ambient Sheep]

I'd pay to get the Thames deepened and widened.

Could be tricky, even with that amount of money, what with all those tunnels that run just underneath it (in some cases with just two or three feet clearance!).

[TraceyQ]

I'd pay off my credit cards and my overdraft.