KIDZ THREAD

[Xerxes & Friends]

Quite a few people on here seem to have kids.  Why not have a thread for the VW babies?  Get your rug rats on here and get them to type something, anything.  Obviously, many will be too young to type coherent sentences, but even better - just let them mash the keyboard with their fists and see what happens.  Yes, yes, "isn't that what we already do" or something.  But this... could... work.  Coudn't it?

Let The Children Speak!


Of course, it would be absolutely unexpected and HILARIOUS if someone made some comments about 'kiddiefiddlers' now.  Ha ha ha!  "Kiddiefiddler!"  What a hilarious neology.

[Rev]

wotho43sbjtpbt934zionistconspiracyrng34g9tbjt453g4gokgrjiggrgwhenyouvedecidedmeetmeattheairportarngiwg-w0gandotherhits0regw4eg4we0

[The Duck Man]

That's easy for you to say.

[TOCMFIC]

ugghfjmbdgbdgdvbdgdfjkhphjgtghfvfbfgbfgroirgrhrgntytu6tyrhfhkgnb

That's from my four year old:)

[Jemble Fred]

I know it's not quite the same, but I'm going to be an uncle for the third time in September, and with my family's genes, the odds of it being anything other than yet another nephew are minimal.

But this year I will finally have my very own Huey, Dewey and Louie. I will dress them as ducks and shout at them in a sailor's outfit. However, I will make sure to wear trousers as I do this.

I love being an uncle more than anything.

[TraceyQ]

My kids have gone off to get an education today, as all good children should. The eldest one doesnt like this place, he says it has "too much swearing".

[hencole]

My kids are staying where they belong for now, in my balls.

[Xerxes & Friends]

ugghfjmbdgbdgdvbdgdfjkhphjgtghfvfbfgbfgroirgrhrgntytu6tyrhfhkgnb

That's from my four year old:)

Excellent!  I wonder in Canadian infantile gibberish differs in any way from European infantile gibberish?

[Almost Yearly]

Sorry I'm late: kiddiefiddlers. Well there'll be a lot fewer photos in this thread than there would have been a couple of weeks ago, and some might say that was a good thing, so things are never black and white.

My mum refused to use the word "kids". Bloody americans, she said. Nowadays it's got a zee.

He's doing a picture right now. "Orange on Blue". Again fortuitously, I haven't got a scanner.

[Xerxes & Friends]

Sorry I'm late: kiddiefiddlers. Well there'll be a lot fewer photos in this thread than there would have been a couple of weeks ago, and some might say that was a good thing, so things are never black and white.

My mum refused to use the word "kids". Bloody americans, she said. Nowadays it's got a zee.

He's doing a picture right now. "Orange on Blue". Again fortuitously, I haven't got a scanner.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  [wipes tear]

[sproggy]

Get him to do directly on the PC

Here are couple of efforts from my two:

[Frinky]

What's the yellow thing on the end of the cheese grater's chimney brush?

[sproggy]

What's the yellow thing on the end of the cheese grater's chimney brush?

It's a sparkler and the cheesegrater is me... apparently

Have you no vision?

[Frinky]

My inner child died about the same time that the Thunderbirds movie came out.

[Mr. Analytical]

Have you no vision?

 I'd be more worried about why your child seems to think that you have penises for ears.

[Lady Beaner]

Do you know what, I wanted to mention the cock-ears earlier but was afraid I would be lynched!

[Purple Tentacle]

Bill Murray in Scrooged: What's this?
Secretary: It's a picture of Santa Claus' family
Bill Murray: How many fingers does Mrs Claus have in this picture?
Secretary: Eleven?
Bill Murray: Then it's crap, get it off my wall.

Ah, god bless Bill Murray when he was funny.



How feasible is it to 'do an Ian Beale' and have a secret vasectomy without the wife noticing?

[Almost Yearly]

Needle nose soldering iron.

[Purple Tentacle]

You could carve the vasectomy into a romantic tattoo, 'I still love you, despite this'.

That would work.

[Cerys]

He's doing a picture right now. "Orange on Blue

Amazing!  So young and yet he has picked up the concept of complementary colours!  He'll be able to support you in your old age.

[Dark Sky]

Here are couple of efforts from my two:

Whatever, you did them yourself didn't you?!

I can tell that the first one is an attempt to copy a Van Gogh self portrait.

I like the addition of Pac Man in the second one, too.  Looks like he has a lot of work to do, though.

[slim]

You can tell sproglette's kids will be monging before they're much older. I foresee teachers, photographed on mobiles, with wee-wee and poo-poo on their heads.

[sproggy]

All entirely their own work, all I did was save them as.jpeg files when they had finished.

It's great fun letting the kids loose on a PC painting application, there's no mess and they can correct any mistakes as they go along.

Watching young kids paint & draw is fascinating, I especially enjoy the way certain parts of the body are exaggerated, such as the eyes and mouth when very young.  It seems to be hands, hair and eyelashes at the minute.  They have an innocence that enables then to paint exactly what they see.

The cock ears come in very handy by the way.

[Almost Yearly]

Does dirty talk make your ears prick up?


Come on folks, you can do better than that.

Edit: Ha! I nearly posted my list too. It's a deceptive one.
V V V V

[John Self]

Let's hope so AY, I sure can't. Keep nearly finding one, don't have the stamina to see it through to the punchline. Oh well, I'll leave it to someone else try, cos I'm a... workshy cunt basically.

Concepts you may find helpful (my preliminary sketches, now abandoned):

The Aural/Oral 'ooer, sounds a bit like' factor
Lugholes
"Play it by ear"
Cauliflower oh what, you don't get that? You're SAD
Ear-piercing
Ear-splitting
"Giving someone a right earful"
'Ear' sounds like 'here', loads of potential there
Hearing... AIDS!!! (ooh that's well dark lol)

ON-TOPIC: I do not have any children.