Living without alcohol

[Abbatoir worker]

After getting through my share and some of yours already,  I am finally at a point where I am saying 'no more for me, thanks'.  I have to admit to some trepidation as my entire previous social life and a good part of my persona have been based around substances for as long as I can (or rather can't) remember.  Has anyone else on here tried sobriety for any length of time?  Is there any point in going out with people who are drinking, or will they be horrifically annoying?  Do I have to get a hobby?  Am I going to have to hang around with Christians?  Any advice or voices of experience will be appreciated...

[Lee]

18 years, 10 months, 15 days and counting...

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Over the last two, now nearly three weeks, I have drunk much less than usual. I've been off uni so haven't been out with friends having the opportunity to get drunk as much, and I've also been quite ill. The most I've drunk in one day during this time is three pints, and it didn't make me feel that good. The other two occasions I had a pint of beer with a meal and then later on a bottle of beer with another meal, and on Sunday I also had a pint. When I had the pints I have found that I wanted to drink more, but I resisted (mainly because I needed to drive later on in the day so I didn't have the option), but then again when I did drink I didn't feel that great. I think this is all tied in with me having been really run down and under the weather for quite some time now, because usually I really enjoy drinking, but I do feel it's been good staying away from it. I don't know where this post is going so I'm now going to hit submit.

[wheatgod]

I occasionally take a month off the booze. Started drinking just before I was 18, and took things a bit far a bit too often, so last summer after Glastonbury I had a successful month long cleanse, and the same after New Year's Day this year, my 20th birthday.
There were times where I've verged on alcoholic - not as in vast amounts, but motivation for drinking, like escape from gloominess, or even self harm. But those days are behind me, I think, so I'm now doing my best to be a social drinker. Problem is, I'm uncertain of my limit - in the past I've pretty much always drunk with the intention of getting absolutely hammered and off my face.

As regards your questions, on my "time off" I've found it perfectly pleasant to go to pubs and the like with friends who are drinking. As long as they don't get too drunk, its still enjoyable to talk with them, and even if they do go over the line then theres fun to be had there too.
Hobbies are always good, but avoid Christians LIKE THE PLAGUE.

[The Search Nazi]

This is a very popular topic amongst Verbwhores - for further reading, see these threads:

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=5746

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=10572

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=7848

There are other threads which deal with abstinence, addiction, and the best/worst ingredients of a social life; but those three are a good starting point.

[John Self]

Hehe, just did 'preview', found out the search nazi's trying to close down this thread in its infancy: and with me having just written a big fat post as well. Cuh! Well, yes, those threads have good things in them, but for opinions on abstinence and addiction that're fresh and piping hot, read this, my post, NOW.

Has anyone else on here tried sobriety for any length of time?

Yeah I have: tried it for three years nine months and twenty four days, and plan to always stay so. Though I sobered up through what didn't really feel like much of a choice: I'd probably be dead now, if I hadn't. Amongst my friends and family and loose circle of acquaintances (nearly all of whom drink), I'm seen as The Token Ex-Alkie, and people often turn to me for advice. "Am I drinking too much?", "What do you think I should do?", that sort of thing. The answer I'm pretty much always inclined to give is, "Well, I wouldn't recommend life-long sobriety to anyone, not unless their life depended on it- it's really pretty shit at times." Once you've detoxed properly, there's a wonderful sparkly feeling of clarity and power and purpose: it's a novelty that soon wears off (took me about 18 months), and then you've just got life stretching out before you, with all the shit bits and longeurs horribly unmediated.

And, really, only you can tell how much you need to give up, and it's certainly hard to tell from your opening post. You seem quite blasé about it, as if you've just been caning it a bit hard recently, and giving up is something you 'may as well do': now this may either be entirely true, or you're trying to play down the seriousness of a life-threatening alcoholism (and quite understandably, I might add, I did it too: I'm not trying to tut or sniff at you here). Hard to tell. I can only really speak from my own experience on this, and my experience is rather extreme: it's that of being a guy who drank vodka for breakfast, bled from every orifice, had weekend-long blackouts and a style of humour most charitably known as 'provocative'; who then turned into the smooth, suave, sophisticated, witty, jumped-up know-nothing shrieker of a twat I am now. Though there are experiences fairly common amongst people who sober up. Like they say in AA: "look for the similarities, not the differences."

Is there any point in going out with people who are drinking, or will they be horrifically annoying?

That kind of depends on what sort of person you are around people 'naturally': this may be something you don't actually know and will have to find out, as you perhaps haven't tried it for as long as you can remember. Loads of pissheads who always thought they were the 'life and soul' are horrified to discover that, when sober, they're actually quite shy and reticent, possibly even awkward socially. Which is, of course, a big reason why many them become pissheads in the first place. Either way, you probably will find that most people, once at a certain level of inebriation, are horrifically annoying. I discovered this, and spent a great deal of time trying to work out if my anger at them was based on jealousy, because they had a freedom I didn't, freedom to do the one thing I couldn't. I've since realised that that's mainly not the case: yes, there may be slight envy there, but the truth is, very drunk people ARE horrifically annoying. On a simple and shining Level Of Objective Truth, very drunk people are quite often complete fucking idiots- they have little or no mental or physical control, and it really takes another very drunk person to not see this. You might find yourself popping home early of a night, when people get to a certain level of pissedness, for some reason not 'up' for whatever 'mad' drunken plan has been initiated.

And noise, too- prepare yourself for that. People, when drunk, seem to damage or anaesthetise their ears in some way, which means they need everything to be twice as loud as normal. You may spend a lot of time wondering "Why the fuck is everyone shouting at me? I'm sitting right here. And what's with this fucking music?" You may feel a lot older and more boring than you used to be- don't worry, you're not a lot older.


Oh, and your friendships may change too. If you're a heavy drinker, it's likely that quite a few of your mates are as well. These people may not just unwittingly try your patience when drunk, they may also test your sobriety- actively, consciously. These are the people who've got drink problems also but can't admit it to themselves, and your sobriety only makes them feel worse about their own addiction (particularly if you look good on it, which you will). When you ask them for a soft drink, you might find they sneer, say something like, "Oh what- found 'Jesus' have you?", or that they, for instance,  call your sanity or heterosexuality into question. Just tell them that yes, you have found Jesus, and that Jesus is a little green man living in your head who urges you to commit violent forced sodomy upon every drunk person you meet.

Or tell them that you're driving- whichever seems easier.

(Having said all that, it is worth going out with people who drink, overall. They're more fun than sober people: they laugh loudly at your okayish jokes, they forget about the shit ones,  and -perhaps by virtue of this- are usually easier to get into bed as well.)

Do I have to get a hobby?

Yes, you most likely will have to- something to soak up that spare time and energy. Unless, of course, you're an actual fully-fledged alcoholic, in which case you'll have to find something more along the lines of a substitute addiction. It may start out as a hobby, but if you're an addict going without, you'll soon find it becomes more than that, as you'll need something to throw that compulsive energy behind. A new obsession.

Some well-worn possibilities to consider: going to the gym, throwing yourself into your work, indulging in creative pursuits, honing your sex-skills, the joyous and life-affirming combination of tobacco and nicotine, soft drugs, hard drugs, self-harm, God
(Though I really wouldn't recommend any of the last three)

Am I going to have to hang around with Christians?

Not sure if this is a reference to Alcoholics Anonymous and their twelve-step program, but fuck it, it's something I may as well address anyway. Though I don't go anymore, and have a few issues with the fellowship, the truth is that short of going to rehab (which is expensive and difficult to arrange), going to a few AA meetings is one of the best things you can ever do to sort out your drinking. These guys often get given a bad press due to the religious aspect of their program/work, but really, you can very easily overlook this, and, instead, just pop along to a few meetings, sit at the back, and just keep your head down and your ears open till you get a feel for what goes on (you won't have to speak). You'll find they're a mostly friendly bunch (they've had a big thing, recently, about being more welcoming to newcomers), and though of course there'll be idiots and wankers and losers and people who wind the hell up out of you (who knows? You might even bump into me!!!), you'll soon see or hear people who you like the look of, who you think you've got something in common with. Speak to them. You'll then get to reap the unparalleled therapeutic rewards of speaking to other reformed addicts. Nothing comes close –no book, no website, no case-study nor keyworker- in terms of inspiration and support. Nothing. And besides, they really don't shove the religious aspect down your throat, not at all- and, for another thing, it's nothing to do with Christians or any other such domination. AA works, for those who commit to its program, simply in terms of your own 'higher power', a spiritual thing which you can quite easily choose yourself- it can be God, Buddha, the memory of a loved one, or merely the feeling that somewhere, somehow, with his big old heart and his one good eye, David Bowie is always watching over you.

Though personally, I'd say AA isn't enough for some people, not at the beginning. It wasn't for me. My strongest recommendation would be rehab, probably one without a twelve-step program: your local mental health centre should be able to point you in the direction of a relevant agency to get in touch with. Oh, and don't just stop drinking like *snaps fingers* that- if you're a serious boozer, you'll have to cut down gradually. This will either entail a residential detox, or, if that seems like a load of hassle (which I'd say it isn't: you get to meet some real characters in those places), then speak to your GP about a home detox. They'll help you build up a sensible plan of reduction, and give you some lovely whoozy Librium to go with it. This is actually really fucking important, and in fact could save your life: unlike any other drug, alcohol withdrawal can actually kill you.


Like I say, life-long sobriety isn't something I'd recommend lightly- it's a weird and unnatural chemically-induced state that most people avoid, and rightly-so. It all depends on what sort of a mess you've got yourself into, and what kind of future you're facing. If any. Though I'm sure it's clear that I'm not always entirely happy with sobriety, I really wouldn't have it any other way. The feeling of always being in control can often work against you ('being in control' can often be synonymous with 'being inhibited', and can affect, for example, your enjoyment of clubbing), but for me, there's nothing like knowing that when I wake up, I'll know exactly what I'd done the night before, and won't have this horrible vague feeling that I'd really upset or hurt someone, a feeling that subsequently turns out to be justified. (n.b.: I may have upset or hurt someone, but at least I'll know about it, and will be fairly sure that I meant to do it. You know, that it 'came from the heart'.) Also, the health benefits are obvious and, if you're anything like me in your drinking, your friends and family will see you sobering up as one of the most wonderful things you've ever done, and will be immensely proud of you.

Whatever you decide Abbatoir worker- good luck and all that, and please feel free to PM me if you want more long-winded shite like this.

[imitationleather]

http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=7848

Haha, that thread is class. Everyone's mucking in to try and make sure my hangovers aren't so nasty! But err, I clearly didn't learn anything because I went to a club tonight and it was £3 for two bottles of Kronenbourg. Christ, I'm going to feel ill tomorrow...

What was this discussion about again?

[Jemble Fred]

I'm sure my opinions on the poison are well documented in those links above – although the need to not stay in every single night forces me into hypocrisy once or twice a month. But even then I don't get drunk, just have a pint for pleasure and leave it at that.

Perhaps we should have a 'dry' VW meet. Milkshakes or something.

PS At weekends I rely on the softest of soft drugs, so I'm certainly no paragon of sobriety. But the whole drinking thing irks me still.

[Still Not George]

Since I have a bastardly hangover right now, I'm promising myself that I'll never drink again. It's bullshit, but it stops my guts churning.

Ace post mister self. Having skirted the edges of self-destructive alcoholism a few years ago I'm not entirely sure I agree with you on everything, though. I'm of the opinion that AA is full of wankers for the most part and that most 'experts' in the field are just controlling arseholes.

An awful lot of people who drink too much do so for clearly defined reasons, and admitting that you have a problem is all well and good, but AA want you to admit to the wrong problem. For me the answer was a year-long detox and a careful examination of why I was doing what I was doing.
If anything I felt more controlled by alcohol while teetotal than at any other point in my life. Now I'm a social drinker, nothing more, nothing less, because the reason for my damaging drinking has gone. Virtually the opposite of the AA approach as far as I can tell.

But in essence I'm agreeing with your overall point - if the time has come to stop, then do so. Use whatever means are necessary to achieve this. I'm assuming I interpreted that correctly?

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

I've fallen into the habit of not drinking, is there a support group I can join?

[Mr. Analytical]

Perhaps we should have a 'dry' VW meet. Milkshakes or something.

 That's an idea actually.  Whenever I look at meet pictures it seems like everyone's drunk before the sun goes down (always a healthy sign)  and the pictures become less and less focused as the thread goes on so it's less a chronicle of a meet and more a third person journey into an alcoholic haze.

 Mind you, as internet dwellers I bet if we did have a dry meet half the people who attended would be too shy to actually say anything and would just sit there staring at their drinks.

[Artemis]

I've not stopped drinking but I've certainly thrown it way down the priority list of "things I do" - I might have maybe two or three drinks a week (and that's drinks, not sessions), but its very irregular. I'm helped by the fact that I am very picky and cannot stand beer, lager or any standard 'lad drink' - I can only stomach vodka and coke or vodka and orange.

I've found that slowing drinking down almost to a halt hasn't lost me a thing but has gained me some excellent plus points: I save money - a lot of it. My friendships change - some of them end (the ones that were only ever based on getting pissed together anyway), and some of them adjust. I have more time to invest in much more important stuff.... I think maybe its a part of growing up, but when I see how drinking has become a culture with the kids these days, its sad. I drank, but I didn't binge drink to the point I was making a complete twat of myself every week along with a hundred other generic 'binge drinking' clones.

[Abbatoir worker]

John Self:

First of all, more thanks than you can probably really appreciate, as this is exactly the sort of response I was looking for and needed to hear.  I have been looking all over the web for a forum with a clear format and fun, intelligent, UK based people (I think in this context you need to understand the culture the non-drinker is up against) but I have found nada.   So CAB saves the day again.

And, really, only you can tell how much you need to give up, and it's certainly hard to tell from your opening post.

It is hard to post something so personal in a space with so many regulars so I tried to keep it light.  The guidance I'm following (that makes sense to me) says that horror stories are a form of glorification and encourage you to return to the behaviour, plus I have not bottomed out in the daily bottle of vodka sense.  But I have wanted to be a social drinker and I just cannot - if I have 2 drinks I have 10, if I have 10 just about anything can happen from there.  In the past it was very extreme (and yes, it was fun) and it has gradually calmed down over time (I am 34) - but even now if I have a couple of drinks that monster still comes back.    Also both my parents are already dead from the pub every night lifestyle and I know that'll be me if I don't make a change.  So that's it.

Either way, you probably will find that most people, once at a certain level of inebriation, are horrifically annoying.

Oh, and your friendships may change too. If you're a heavy drinker, it's likely that quite a few of your mates are as well.

This is worrying me a lot.   I know I still have to be the only sober person in a lot of situations and I am worried this will make me very angry and intolerant, and your post indicates that I'm right!  What I really want to know is - how can I rise above it, puncture it with humour, make it not ruin my evenings?

Hobbies - yes I am going to try to do more physical stuff, cycling, swimming (gyms give me hives though).  Your post on dancing was hilarious, I love dancing so much, but I have tried it sober once in public and it was tortuous - it was 'Groove is in The Heart' by Dee-Lite, too, and I am a demon with that when I've had a few.  I dance in the house fine when I am sober and one of my main missions is going to be conquering the fear of dancing without drink.  I thought maybe if I try a dance class of some description this could help, but I can't settle on a style and I have no-one to go with me.  I am in desparate need of some sober friends!  I will not be indulging in any smoking or other drugs, as they all go hand in hand with drinking for me - plus there's the dying young genetic bullet that I'm trying to dodge.

The reference to Christians was partly directed at AA, mainly because of my aforementioned trawls through the interweb trying to find somewhere to get some likeminded contact.  I am an atheist, not an agnostic.  I have read some of the literature and I simply can't reconcile myself to any kind of 'higher power' in a sense that would be real enough to have the desired effect.  Also I don't know how useful it is in terms of relapse to say that the problem is inherent and essentially incurable - to me that feels like you are creating a mindset where disaster is always looming, which makes it more likely.  I have been looking at some of the concepts behing the 'Rational Recovery' programme.  They seem to fit more comfortably with my own experience and ideology so I am going to try the methodologies they suggest and see how I go.

I will take you up on that PM offer.

Search Nazi:  Once again your clinical precision shames our decadence!  (That's a thank you)

Everyone else:  I fucking love you guys (that must be the sparkly optimism kicking in!)

[Abbatoir worker]

Perhaps we should have a 'dry' VW meet. Milkshakes or something.

 That's an idea actually.  Whenever I look at meet pictures it seems like everyone's drunk before the sun goes down (always a healthy sign)  and the pictures become less and less focused as the thread goes on so it's less a chronicle of a meet and more a third person journey into an alcoholic haze.

 Mind you, as internet dwellers I bet if we did have a dry meet half the people who attended would be too shy to actually say anything and would just sit there staring at their drinks.

This is actually a perfect illustration of the catch-22 of it.  If I went to a meet with a load of people I had never seen before and I was drinking I would throw loads down my neck, butt in on every conversation, make people dance, flirt outrageously, lose one of my belongings and be sick.  If I was not drinking I would be paralysed with fear and find it very hard to speak to anyone.  However in the first scenario I would also be wracked with terrible all consuming remorse and depression the next day and never post on here or see any of you ever again.  So no matter how terrifying, the sober option has the better long term prospects.  So a dry meet could work, but going to a wet meet and staying dry, that seems unsurmountable right now.

[hencole]

Perhaps we should have a 'dry' VW meet. Milkshakes or something.

 That's an idea actually.  Whenever I look at meet pictures it seems like everyone's drunk before the sun goes down

My only hangovers of the year are after VW meets.

I drink too much, but spread over the week so I'm not one of these new fangled binge drinker types.

Hobbies - yes I am going to try to do more physical stuff, cycling, swimming (gyms give me hives though).

The nicest thing after excercise is a pint of cold beer and a fag.

[Purple Tentacle]

The prospect of meeting oddballs off the internet and NOT drinking is the most fucking horrific idea I've ever heard. Worse than Hitler.

[Partridge's Love Child]

And he died.

[humanleech]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste. No really, I wouldn't like that thank you. No I haven't tried that and I don't want to thank you. No, not even a sip, I'd have to eat something to get the taste out of my mouth afterwards. Maybe I'm missing out on something, it's too bad.
this isn't really relevant to the thread.

[Mr. Analytical]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

 That's true of me too.  I've never tasted anything worse than beer.  One of my friends is a real beer snob who only drinks belgian trappist shit and I once hugely annoyed him by refusing to even countenance the idea that his beers tasted better than Heineken.

 A really robust red wine's a bit better... it actually enters the realms of the drinkable but between that and a coke there's no way I'd take the wine.  You can detect some taste in the red wine but it's hidden behind the horrible abrasive bitterness... it's like food with no salt and tea or coffee with no sugar.

[mayer]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

What don't you like the taste of? White Russians? Carling? Leffe? Dom Perignon? Scotch? Gin? Vodka and Redbull? Manhattan? Irish Coffee? Ale? Hock? Sherry? Tesco South African Red? ? ? ?

[LadyDay]

Possibly the taste in your mouth after a heavy night?

[mayer]

Ahh, the nastiest cocktail of all!

I call it "Satan's Armpit".

[gazzyk1ns]

One of my friends is a real beer snob who only drinks belgian trappist shit and I once hugely annoyed him by refusing to even countenance the idea that his beers tasted better than Heineken.

I can see why he was annoyed!

[humanleech]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

What don't you like the taste of? White Russians? Carling? Leffe? Dom Perignon? Scotch? Gin? Vodka and Redbull? Manhattan? Irish Coffee? Ale? Hock? Sherry? Tesco South African Red? ? ? ?

Imagine that spread out over about two hours. I did have a Pina Colada once but it was only about 0.1% alcohol, so I could cope, managed to get a taxi home.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

I love interesting ales, but I also love Tesco Value Bitter. What kind of man am I?

[Partridge's Love Child]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

What don't you like the taste of? White Russians? Carling? Leffe? Dom Perignon? Scotch? Gin? Vodka and Redbull? Manhattan? Irish Coffee? Ale? Hock? Sherry? Tesco South African Red? ? ? ?

Lest we forget alchopops.  Surely these were designed so that even the folk that pedalled this excuse could rush their way to liver failure in no time.  Just like the rest of us.

[Mr. Analytical]

Yeah but then you end up like Rio Ferdinand drinking watermelon flavoured bacardi breezers because you can't take anything harder and lack the character to steadfastly refuse to drink even in the face of peer pressure.

It's like the worst of all possible outcomes.

No thank you... I'll just have a pint of coke or possibly lemonade.

[Abbatoir worker]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

What don't you like the taste of? White Russians? Carling? Leffe? Dom Perignon? Scotch? Gin? Vodka and Redbull? Manhattan? Irish Coffee? Ale? Hock? Sherry? Tesco South African Red? ? ? ?

Not much chance of getting you out on a dry Manchester meet then eh?

[SetToStun]

I love interesting ales, but I also love Tesco Value Bitter. What kind of man am I?

A periodically skint one?

[John Self]

I don't drink because I don't like the taste.

What don't you like the taste of? White Russians? Carling? Leffe? Dom Perignon? Scotch? Gin? Vodka and Redbull? Manhattan? Irish Coffee? Ale? Hock? Sherry? Tesco South African Red? ? ? ?

To help answer your first question mayer, why don't you try to find the one ingredient that links and characterises all those drinks you've named- maybe that's what humanleech doesn't like the taste of.

Though christ knows why: some right bloody weirdos on the internet these days eh.

BEST BEERS: Lowenbrau, San Miguel, Stella Artois
BEST WINES: Red for a fiver, Red in a box, Red nicked from party
BEST  SPIRITS: Gin and Tonic, Rum and Black, Irish Whiskey (straight, no ice)
SPECIAL MENTION: to the Mistress and the Muse, the context and the constant, the basic building-block of booze and amino acid of alcohol- White Lightning.

I love interesting ales, but I also love Tesco Value Bitter. What kind of man am I?

Hehe- I used to love expensive continental lagers, though I'd genuinely say that Tesco's Value Lager may be in my top five, in terms of taste alone (though there may be good associations thrown in there too). It really is (or was) surprisingly good stuff.

Hope this answers your question, Sutts: you're the kind of man I used to be...

mister self. Having skirted the edges of self-destructive alcoholism a few years ago I'm not entirely sure I agree with you on everything, though. I'm of the opinion that AA is full of wankers for the most part and that most 'experts' in the field are just controlling arseholes.

An awful lot of people who drink too much do so for clearly defined reasons, and admitting that you have a problem is all well and good, but AA want you to admit to the wrong problem. For me the answer was a year-long detox and a careful examination of why I was doing what I was doing.
If anything I felt more controlled by alcohol while teetotal than at any other point in my life. Now I'm a social drinker, nothing more, nothing less, because the reason for my damaging drinking has gone. Virtually the opposite of the AA approach as far as I can tell.

I can pretty much empathise (or think I can) with your view of AA –being 'full of wankers'- as I too thought that initially when I started going to meetings, about 6 or 7 years ago now. (I've only been to about ten meetings overall: actually, it's nearer 5 in total, if you add the fractions together: at any rate, I've been clean from AA for about 2 and a half years now.) I eventually stopped thinking that about them, though I'm still not too keen on them really- they can often come across as a pretty humourless and proselytising bunch, and in a patronisingly didactic, "Our-way-is-the-only-way/do-what-we-say-or-DIE-in-the-GUTTER" way. Though I can actually understand, and therefore tolerate their self-righteousness a lot more quickly than I can that of the average Bible-basher: a lot of them owe their lives, literally, to their faith.

So no, I wouldn't say they're wankers: but I can hazard a guess, however, why they might have been wankerish to you SNG. I don't think that AA wanted you to admit to the wrong problem, more that they perhaps tried to help you address a problem you didn't have: alcoholism. As I'm sure you know, most AA meetings are 'closed', which means that, to be there, you have to have a desire to give up drinking permanently. (And that's the only requirement, by the way.) So if you're turning up with the attitude (spoken or tacit) of, "Well no, I don't want to quit forever: I just wanna get a bit of clean time, take a step back, look at my life, sort things out, then hopefully get back to drinking socially", then they'll assume either one of two things:

(1): That you're not an alcoholic, and you know you're not- you're just someone using the place for free coffee and counselling, or as a social thing (and this is common: the hilarious conceit in Fight Club, of Ed Norton's character going to support groups he doesn't really need, is not something unheard of in real life), or perhaps you just want somewhere to get a nice sit-down while your cardboard box is being refurbished

Or (2) you're an alcoholic in denial. You won't be able to drink socially, normally, ever, and they've got to do their best to try and help you realise this.

If it's 1, it can lead to them getting pretty sniffy and shitty with you: and why the fuck not? You're taking the piss, you're not meeting the one basic requirement to be at a meeting, you're (most likely) helping yourself to their finite resources- and not rinsing the teaspoon afterwards, I'll wager   

Option 2, however, can lead to some seriously pain-in-the-arse, head-fuck conversations about the tricks your mind can play on you:

-I think I'll be able to drink socially, you know, just once I've sorted a few things out
-No you won't, you will never be able to do that. That's just your addiction talking, playing games with your mind
-I don't know if I'm actually 'addicted' as such, more that-
-Oh but you are: that is your denial talking
-I... don't think it is you know
-As is that

And so on. It's pretty fucking frustrating, trying to argue with someone who seems to know what your subconscious is doing better than you do- a great deal of the usual rhetorical recourses are suddenly, maddeningly unavailable. You can't win. I had loads of arguments like this when I started rehab- I now know that I was wrong, a lot of the time ,to defend myself. You however, would have been right to argue: you can drink normally, socially, contentedly: and good for you, that's great, I'm naturally happy and glad and burning up from the inside with sick jealous rage for you.

Oh and- how did you introduce yourself at each meeting? "My name's Still Not George and I'm still not an alcoholic"?

But in essence I'm agreeing with your overall point - if the time has come to stop, then do so. Use whatever means are necessary to achieve this. I'm assuming I interpreted that correctly?

Yep. That's why I mentioned AA as the best (certainly easiest) first port of call- just anything to get in touch with other reformed addicts for support and encouragement. Though, really, pretty much any recovery organisation should do the trick. I've met and been pretty close to dozens of ex-users over the years, and even though some have wound me up beyond belief or bored me beyond tears, the corny truth, as I've had it told to me many times and experienced it myself many times (beautifully), is that there really is an underlying solidarity between addicts in recovery. It's like you've all survived the same war; it's like you're all trying to maintain the same peace. Though you probably wouldn't have felt this yourself SNG, which makes sense: you're not a recovering addict.

The prospect of meeting oddballs off the internet and NOT drinking is the most fucking horrific idea I've ever heard. Worse than Hitler.

Hehe, well, I've faced some fairly horrific prospects in my time, but never one that is worse than Hitler. For some reason, it's an accolade I'm keen on, which settles it: I'm gonna go to this thing on Saturday now. Maybe, PT, it's that some of your more 'emphatic' pronouncements amuse and irritate me in equal measure (actually that's not true: it's closer to a 70/30 thing), and I'd quite like to test this one. Challenge accepted! Plus, of course, the wonderful performance of scintillating sober sociability I'll put in can act as an inspiration to Abbatoir worker, and any other 'whores trying to give up drinking.

-ooh look, it's the meet photos! Where's that john self then? He always posts so wittily and charmingly on the internet, I bet he's just like that in real life
-there he is
-where?
-there, the shabby little twatpiece sat all by himself in the corner, talking to no one, just shaking and weeping into his Kaliber
-eww. Is he winking for the camera?
-no, that's his eyelid twitching. It did that the whole time he was there- the full eleven minutes
-EWW. Poor thing though: he looks like he's having the kind of time that could, I don't know, kill six million Jews
-Oh come come now, just look at him: it's worse than that