Return Of The Son Of Twenty One Words

[Mister Cairo]

screaming the lyrics to Kate Bush songs into the ears of any passing aardvark who was foolish enough to let him

[skibz]

get within a hundred feet. Fortunately, the aardvark had prepared a startling repartee for such an eventuality, and proceeded to wax

[butnut]

Kate's Bush.

In the midst of all this confusion, no-one had noticed that a small door had opened in the corner

[Jemble Fred]

of Eminem's eyes. Well, one small boy had noticed but as he was brought up to be polite, he said nowt.

[Mister Cairo]

This door led to the little known world of cookd and bombd, where "regulars" must do battle with trolls and make

[Neville Chamberlain]

fun of people they deem to possess inferior intellects. It is a shadowy world of conspiracy theorists, lefties, and assorted nutjobs.

[Mister Cairo]

The door allowed the Verbwhores to skip out of their world for their scheduled "Factory Meet". The first Verbwhore to exit

[Jemble Fred]

ran happily along the golden fields leading up to the Factory gates, until the device on their neck activated, bursting their

[butnut]

sandwiches out of their lunchbox, as well as most of their head.  From behind the factory gates, a small fleet of

[Neville Chamberlain]

Ford Mondeos, each containing one bored, frustrated and quite possibly suicidal middle manager from Luton, revved their engines menacingly. Then suddenly

[Mister Cairo]

they heard the sound of their tormentor, the overly casual Ricky Gervais, who took one look at the disgruntled fleet and

[Neville Chamberlain]

was promptly run over and killed by a fork-lift truck that appeared apparently from nowhere. The body of Ricky Gervais

[Jemble Fred]

is now available from News International for the reasonable price of 356 million dollars.

At the stroke of noon, the factory

[skibz]

calmly strolled down to the old graveyard to meet its almost certain demise, slinging its pistol nonchalantly and waving to the

[dan dirty ape]

other anthropomorphic buildings doing that ducking up and down dance they do on most occasions. Waiting at the old graveyard was

[Mister Cairo]

David the Chameleon, at that moment a fetching shade of ecological green. "Does the Prime Minister agree that for too long

[Jemble Fred]

I have been speaking?"

Not just the PM (Thatch as was, but not now) but everyone in Britain nodded simultaneously. So

[Mister Cairo]

David decided to turn a delightful shade of blue and pissed all over the mausoleum belonging to the recently deceased celebrity

[skibz]

Dennis Weaver, who wasn't very famous but did die quite recently so it still counts.

Unexpectedly, Cameron redirected his effluent towards

[dan dirty ape]

his mouth. Due to a genetic defect Cameron wees Cresta lemonade. "It's frothy, man!" quipped a passing polar bear. But wait!...

[Jemble Fred]

... That was no polar bear! That was Wyclef Jean, out on the razz with best mates Ted Bovis (the fictional man)

[Neville Chamberlain]

and Spike Dixon (the very real man). Spike wore that shit-eating grin for which he had become famous and his

[Mister Cairo]

Outrageous Waistcoast, one half red to symbolize the blood of the orphans, the other half as black as the heart of

[Jemble Fred]

Darkness writer Joseph Conrad's black shoes.

"You know what, Wyclef?" said Ted, swaying slightly, "I don't think anybody's even remotely interested

[butnut]

in me, sexually."

"Not so," said Wyclef. " I've always thought of you as rather a fetching man. And so does my

[skibz]

Fetching Man, Alfonso." He pointed to a small man, no taller than 3'2, who carried a bag of assorted items including

[Mister Cairo]

His favourite Runcible Spoon, two pints of bishop's milk and a  little magic mirror which made anyone who looked in it

[neveragain]

see their own reflection. Ted, Wyclef and Spike came to the conclusion during later discussions that although they were outwardly jovial

[dan dirty ape]

inside them all was a maudlin little clown screaming 'love me'. Unfortunatley this wasn't a metaphor. Problems arose when Wyclef's clown

[Jemble Fred]

started to sublet the hip-hop gentleman's left ear to sundry Russian mobsters. The bailiffs forced entry through Wyclef's gut and demanded