Caption Competition: Baptize This..

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

[Mister Cairo]

Open-air theatre company stage their intepretation of Minority Report

Woman sacrificed to the Polo God.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"Priest rescues girl in oversized birdbath."

"BNP: We told you it happened but NOOOOOOOO YOU DIDN'T LISTEN!!!"

[thepuffpastryhangman]

Archbishop transfixed by nose swap miracle.

[sick as a pike]

Foreground Events detract from "Priest in Same Hair as Microphone" Shock.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"ARE YOU A GAY NOW?

N..nnn...nnnn.....no."

[Purple Tentacle]

Purple Tentacle gets the horn, wishes he was a grumpy black priest.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Dave Benson Phillps isn't on telly anymore, but he still feels the urge to prove he's got what it takes.

[ffogems]

Half-caste hermaphrodite finally gets wish in super-scientific gene-slicing pool.

[BagJob]

[In Michael Caine accent] Now! ... Tell me the truth - who's buying all these copies of the Da Vinci Code?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Rare Adventist Phlegm submersion attracts local media.

[Purple Tentacle]

Catholics protest in giant spunk filled condom.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

A media circus ensued following the decision of local racists to press ahead with the boiling to death of an interracial couple in a ceremonial cauldron.

[Purple Tentacle]

London internet forum user arrested for staring at the wet tits of a girl while at work, claiming it never occurred to him that she could actually be underage.


---

Local girl steps on a crack: Locals enforce marriage to nearest black.

[hands cold, liver warm]

Wet t-shirt competition brings record church attendance

[@ssmaster]

World's first celebrity cannibal chef conducts outside demonstration.

[hands cold, liver warm]

local authority financial cutbacks reduce size of public swimming baths

[hands cold, liver warm]

Anglican outrage as porn film "The Archbishop of Inter-racial Buggery" filmed outside church

[butnut]

Anglican outrage as porn film "The Archbishop of Buggery" filmed outside church

We have a winner!

EDIT - ooh, now we can see it in its pre and post edit form.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Steady now- it's not over yet. Though that's the best yet.

[thepuffpastryhangman]

(as the level appears to have been set)



'An ecclesiastical Nick Hancock applauds couple number one's entry in a new series of They Think It's All Over Her Face, Your Grace.
Cameraman Ben Fogel remains unphased as Janine from Eastenders and Julian Lloyd-Weber attempt to hide behind Raymond Baxter in the crowd.'

though, naturally, brevity is the soul of wit and six words is better than forty odd

[ffogems]

Man unhappy with lucky dip.
OR
Speed Dating Club instates 'Summer Fete' theme.

[slim]

BLACK MEN DROWN WOMEN.

(From The Voice of Freedom)

[@ssmaster]

'Once you have been dunked by black you never go back'

[weekender]

"I told you I'd bloody show you a cum bath"

[The Duck Man]

Catholic Priest Disapointed by Age of Participants in Church Paddling Pool Day

[sproggy]

Musical press left clueless as to why Trevor McDonald was starring alongside "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince"
in his raunchy new pop music video "I'm Your Micro-Jacuzzi Lover"

[neveragain]

Deal Or No Deal goes all out to attract ratings.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Public bath opened to combat water shortages, users encouraged to share the facility.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Lenny Henry and Sally James propose to re-release The Bucket Of Water Song