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March 29, 2024, 10:22:51 AM

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Funny Wikipedia lines

Started by Carlos Tevez, August 02, 2006, 02:19:51 AM

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Baxter

I did make a CaB page ages ago but it was deleted by some miserable cunts,  i think it woul be a good idea obviously as we are a notable site and indeed we do have a link on the Chris Morris Wikipedia Page

Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer

From John Cleese's entry:

QuoteAs a boy, Cleese was educated at Clifton College in Bristol, from which he was expelled for a humorous defacing of school grounds: he used painted footsteps to suggest that the school's statue of Field Marshal Earl Douglas Haig had got down from his plinth and gone to the toilet.

I've never heard that story before, never even heard any hints to it or anything, so is it bollocks or have I missed something? That seems to completely go against the boy Cleese describes in interviews.

Baxter

Quote from: "Mister Cairo"Out of intrest, seeing as Something Awful has a Wikipedia, shouldn't Cookd And Bombd have one too? It gets 1830 hits in Google.

You mean like: http://cookdandbombd.pbwiki.com/

Phillippe Lambert

On the page for Lady Margaret School in London. Listed under old girls:

QuoteJanet Street Porter- National annoyance.

hymen spaz

Quote from: "jtc"
QuoteGary Stretch (born November 4, 1968) is a boxer-turned-actor from St. Helens near Liverpool, England. He was formerly married to Roselyn Sanchez.

Gary "came out" three months ago. Yes... you got that right... he takes it in the "A".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Stretch

I interviewed him a while ago - he was the hardest looking (no not his penis) that i have seen for a good while.

i wouldn't like to be on the "wrong end" of him.

evelyn_blake


Mister Cairo

QuoteLady Margaret School is one of the best schools in London, and Mrs Olivier is said to be exactly the kind of headmistress that any pupil could wish for. It is generally accepted to be something of a tragedy that both she and much admir'd deputy head Colin Busby have now retired after thirty two and twenty one years respectively at the school. The school is left in the no doubt very able hands of one Mrs Whyte, about whom little is known thus far, except that she speaks Greek.

Nice and objective there. Damning with faint praise for Mrs Whyte.

QuoteI interviewed him a while ago

For which media outlet?

phalmachine

QuoteDepending on one's tone and body language, dude can mean:

Hey! Look over here! or Wow! (with great emphasis; "DUDE")
Shame on you! (Elongated and soft, often while shaking head; "Duuuuude")
Are you ok? or Are you there? (Short, interrogative "Dude?")
That is very cool! (Long, exclaimatory, with particular emphasis on the long O sound; "Doood" [printed here phonetically])
Oh my God. (Slightly elongated, with moderate emphasis)

QuoteBowser's shell is pointier than DKjr's smooth backside.

QuoteJack Thompson took very public exception to CUNTFLAPS

gazzyk1ns

I am disappointed that no appropriate page that I can think of (e.g. bukkake, vomit) has a "This article may require cleanup" tag.

Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen

Closest I could find right now.

QuoteRectovaginal fistula

*Snigger snigger*

Blumf


From the entry on goatse. . .

"it is considered highly likely that Kirk Johnson is the "Goatse Man." Johnson is a regular poster to the newsgroup alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male.anal, among others, and a rather simple analysis confirms this; it is unlikely that there is another practitioner of anal stretching with the same mole on the upper-left edge of his anus. Furthermore, both the gap.zip (see below) pictures and Johnson's pictures show the same type of large yellow buttplug being used."

Bernard

That semen article makes me chuckle. For a picture of semen they choose some Wikipedian's carpet masterbation session:



Though it then got deleted. I guess they're having a debate on that one.

The "see also" included bukkake. Nice pointer for a kid doing their science homework. I deleted that but you bet someone guarding their precious semen page will restore it.

And then the important sub sections:
Semen and martial arts
!

And this:
QuoteMild cases of semen allergy can often be overcome by repeated exposure to seminal fluid
Okay. Now I see why they referenced bukkake.

Joy Nktonga

It's the Statue of Liberty in jism form.

grundie

The article on the Abbey National (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbey_%28bank%29), veers off in to odd territory for some reason.

Quote"Abbey Life" Commercial

This long version commercial was also on A Sesame Street Special in 1988. One variation showed bathing suit-clad persons in a pool, in The Muppets At Walt Disney World and Law & Order in 1990. One variation featured ballet dancers, in Dinosaurs in 1992. Another variation showed grandfathers in a spotlight, in Dr. Teeth & The Psychic Singers in 1994, and the final variation was on a 'wheel of fortune' in Wheel Of Fortune in 1995.
[edit]

"Abbey National" Commercial

This long version commercial was on The Muppets At Walt Disney World in 1990, and a variation showed dirt being dug in The New Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh in 1991. A second variation featured persons hitting clouds in Sesame Street's All-Star 25th Birthday: Stars & Streets Forever! in 1994.

rudi

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"I am disappointed that no appropriate page that I can think of (e.g. bukkake, vomit) has a "This article may require cleanup" tag.

Quotebukkake is used in Japan and Tanzania to describe a type of dish where the toppings are poured on top of noodles

I'm suddenly not that hungry any more...

QuotePutin on Chechen extremists, on September 24, 1999: "We'll follow terrorists everywhere. Should we catch them in the shithouse, we'll whack them in the shithouse."

Mister Cairo

From the John Major wikipedia, describing his reaction to the ERM shit-up

Quotesome accounts suggesting that he spent part of the day hiding in a cupboard

And this is all that is on the Wikipedia page for the film, Born on the 4th of July

Quote* Ron Kovic: In church they said that it's a sin if you play with your penis, I wish i could.
   * Mom: Don't say penis in this house!
   * Ron Kovic: Penis! Penis! Big fucking erect penis! Penis!
   * Mom: Stop!

Purple Tentacle

I thought Major hid in the toilet.

TOCMFIC

So, is Barry Norman dead? Since there's an entry on his Wiki page saying he is, but I found absolutely nothing on the BBC news website... Just wondered if it was a hoax or not.

klaatu!

No, Barry Norman's still alive. He's got a Radio Times column and pops up on Countdown every now and then.


This tickled me:

QuoteFried was the second solo album by Julian Cope. It was notable for being the only notable major label release ever to feature a naked singer hiding under a giant turtle shell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fried_%28album%29

TOCMFIC

Quote from: "jtc"No, Barry Norman's still alive. He's got a Radio Times column and pops up on Countdown every now and then.

Cheers!

Suttonpubcrawl

QuoteIn 2003 Blackwood had his Isle of Dogs home repossessed and declared himself bankrupt. He was reportedly often heckled with the phrase "Oi Blackwood, you're BANKRUPT!" by passers-by on the street [2].

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Blackwood


QuoteIn 2003, Robertson called on God to prevent Hurricane Isabel from hitting Virginia Beach (which it eventually hit).
Pat Robertson

Carlos Tevez

Thizzle or Thizz is a slang phrase coined by the late Vallejo, California rapper Mac Dre. It refers to the drug ecstasy. "Thizzin" is the act of taking ecstasy, although the ecstasy that he is referring to is "dirty," meaning that it has been cut with other intoxicants such as methamphetamine. Other variations of the word include "Thizz Face" which refers to the facial expression made when one takes the drug. This has been said to resemble the expression made when one "smells piss". There is a similarity between the "Thizz Face" and the Jamaican "Screwface," a word for an angry or irritated facial appearance.


Why I Hate Tables

Quote[The group is built around an anti-homosexual core theology, with many of their activities stemming from the slogan "God hates fags," which is also the name of the group's main website. Gay rights activists, as well as Christians of virtually every denomination, have denounced him as a producer of anti-gay propaganda and violence-inspiring hate speech.[8] He is a cunt.[/quote]

Noticed this on the Fred Phelps page directed to from the Post Your Cunt thread.

It's very true

Mister Cairo

QuoteNorman Price is the town mischief-maker (nicknamed "Naughty Norman") who loves playing practical jokes on everyone, although these jokes can sometimes lead to trouble. In one episode, one of Normans pranks go too far as he sets fire to Bella Lasagne's cafe, endangering the lives of many of the shows characters. Norman is charged with and convicted of arson and receives an ASBO.[citation needed

This must be bollocks as they are referring to the original series (written in the late eighties). not the jizzed-up one of 2003-5. ASBO's were brought in in 1998.under the Crime and Disorder Act.

Not a funny one, more an example of how some people are too ignorant to consider that things we are used to today might not have been around when we were growing up.