Author Topic: "Can't is a four-letter word...they're absolutely right there, but they've spelt it wrong"  (Read 19107 times)

Wotcha, long time no update, sorry about that.  This is mostly because it's such a dreadfully tedious and convulted process to encode and sort out audio on this machine...hate to do this, but if anyone out there has got a spare decent-sized hard drive knocking about that they could donate to the site, then you'd be doing me a great favour.  I've got tons of stuff that I really want to rattle through here, but it's a nightmare to work on a machine with such restricted space.  Gis a shout at if you can help please.

Rumours keep floating about that Morris is currently working on a project 'about suicide bombers', although there's been mixed reports over whether it'll be a movie or a TV show.  One thing's for certain though, it's bound to harness the power of satire to show how these people are almost as damaging to society as young people who talk loudly on buses and have silly ring-tones.  Morris was recently spotted at a debate on the ethics of Al Qaeda, many thanks to IanW for the following:

Went to a debate on the ethics of Al Qaeda last night where the argument was made that the franchise is more of a western phenomenon than anything else, and that the London bombers weren't yelling in rage at the injustices of the Iraq war and the Palestine/Israel situation but acting more like pissed off, pompous, narcissistic adolescents, blowing themselves up in something like a more extreme version of self-harming.

Anyway, the point is Chris Morris was there which maybe is a hope raising thing - he might be on the right tracks with this new project.

Anyway, onto the old stuff...some great bits and pieces have surfaced recently! An absolutely top man going by the name "pish" firstly supplied us with this clip of Morris advertising The Times on Kiss FM, which is a remarkable find really.  Pish also supplied this hilarious new Wayne Carr clip, and this picture, which I've been trying to get for years.  If anyone has Wayne's appearance in the NME, please get in touch...

Anyway, shortly after these new finds were surfaced, geeef happened to find the following:

Chris Morris - Hutchinson Mobile Phones Ad

Peter Cook - Duracell Toy Car Ad

Exciting finds, fo' sho'...I'd always figured (and hoped, if I'm honest) that Morris would be vehemently opposed to comedians doing adverts.  This was partly due to this old article (found by clinty from The Establishment as I recall) where Morris complained bitterly about ad agencies nicking his ideas.  Mind you, Morris is doing his Victor Lewis-Smith impression in that Times advert.  This does make me wonder now about those who claimed - many years ago - to have seen Morris in a TV advert for Zanussi, which was supposedly directed by Armando Iannucci.  Anyone got this - or any other Morris adverts - on tape?  

Our thanks once more to Mat Savage, the fellow who very kindly supplied us with the rare-as-rocking-horse-shit 1993 GLR shows, and here's another one that I've just finished repatching:

Chris Morris GLR Show - 24th April 1993 - 142 Megs

Another great show...particularly like Morris show-casing his DJ skills with the Prince/The Smiths segue, very tasty.  Also a few more ideas that are done as throwaway items, but which then return in an extended form in the following years R1 music shows. This show was up here before in an incomplete state, and in worse quality, so it's definitely worth grabbing again.  

Have to quickly say a massive thanks to top man Timmay for going to a lot of trouble to sort us out with our own Bit Torrent tracker, which has meant that we've finally been able to get the R1 shows, Blue Jam and On The Hour shared again...check the respective pages for torrent links, and please remember to share when your downloads finish.  Try to upload the same amount as you've downloaded at the very least.

Finally, Armando Iannucci is currently titting about with a load of unfunny viral ballacks on his new BBC2 show Time Trumpet, which you can miss by avoiding BBC2 on Thursdays at 10.  Bloody awful show so far, every bit as bad as 2004: The Stupid Version, and yet I was under the impression that it was going to be more along the lines of the (much better) Clinton: His Struggle With Dirt.  E4 seem to be repeating The IT Crowd at the mo, too, so you might want to check that out, if you can bear to hear Patrick bloody Allen murdering irony during every single ad-break.  Not a bad little show, though...started off very promising, with episode 2 being out-standing - better than any single episode of Bland Books - but then it tailed off during the rest of the run.  Hopefully a second series will be a lot more consistent.  Anyway, enough aimless waffling for now, more downloads coming very soon.

Here's my guide for this GLR show...I forgot to check it again when re-listening to the show today, but I think it's should all be correct.  Should also say a quick thanks to fat bob blobby bastard, as I seem to recall using his previous version of this show to patch up some of the tape flips and whatnot.  Cheers, bob and Mat, top fellows.

Chris Morris - GLR Show 24th April 1993.

PART 1: B-52's - Rocking Through The Wilderness, Hiccups & Competition: Who has covered Donald Fagen's I.G.Y?, Today's honk: Have you been bitten or run over by a celeb?, Elvis Costello - What Would The Loved Ones Say, I.G.Y. competition again, drug-crazed crank at Kensington Palace, Otis Redding & Carla Thomas - Tramp, Ring in suggestions for Garner tannoy announcements, I.G.Y. competition: "Is it Shotgun Wedding by Rod Stewart?", REM - Fall On Me, REM have singalong songs which make you sound damn stupid, first ever Kiddy's Outing: Garry Bushell, The Doors - Break On Through, IGY competition: winner identifies Howard Jones, Anne Robinson posters for Today, T-Rex - 20th Century Boy, Calls To Franco: "Eat your own saliva", They Might Be Giants - Dinner Bell, Competition: Identify the tube station, Wild Cherry - Play That Funky Music, Waco seige: "Lassie or something?", Louis Jordan - Saturday Night Fish Fry, Tube station competition: "Put your hand over  your mouth and leave it there for about four days"  plus proto-R1-legal-highs, Frank Black - Fu Manchu, Waco Seige: ITN's camera on face approach to news, Donald Fagen - I.G.Y., Garner's tape recorder is broken so he's sent to collect Meryl Streep's "gash bucket" (i.e. bin), The Keith Richards Manifesto: Shopping Advice, News...

The Queen is officially closing the recession, Stevie Wonder - I Wish, Tube station competition, Dexys Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen, Wayne Carr: "Can't is a four-letter word...they're absolutely right there, but they've spelt it wrong" + St Agi-Patus (as reused for the Bruno Brookes R1 thing), Prince - Let's Go Crazy, (Absolutely fucking cracking segue between these two songs) The Smiths - The Boy With The Thorn In His Side, Tube station competition, John Bentley song: Richard Littlejohn article on sleeping policemen, Feedback Report: Hinge Abuse (more stuff that was later reused on R1), Patsy Cline - Walkin' After Midnight, Newsflash: Colonel Gaddafi has pupated and is being stored in an underground cocoon, Led Zeppelin - The Wanton Song, Sock Quiz, Calls To Franco: "Here endeth calls to Franco...but the hyena's got legs", Joni Mitchell - Free Man In Paris

Turns out Patrick Allen is dead... just looked him up.

That picture is ace! What a great find. After NB I kinda went off Morris in a way, at least felt a bit bored of all the shows I had so this GLR show is greatly appreciated. I'll obviously keep seeding as long as possible.

Can't wait to listen to the adverts and clips too, which I'll do after Time Trumpet. Should presumably provide some sort of perspective on things.

'twas announced in the This Year's Dead thread in GD about PA.


  • psycho, mama
Brilliant! Many thanks to all those who helped make this availbale.

But... Black Books is good. Far better than any single episode of The IT Crowd. Hmph.

Jemble Fred

  • ... And I ain't ashamed.
    • 100% BALLS
The concept of the IT Crowd being superior to BB is funnier than... well, anything in the IT Crowd.

Unless 'geeef' has been in touch with Canter himself, the Duracell ads probably come from my bad self. I seem to recall sending copies out to Clinty and, possibly, TJ, a few years ago when I interviewed JC. I thought they'd been online ever since, actually, but it's not on Stabbers.


  • Cook'd & Bomb'd - A Richard Herring Forum
    • Tim Worthington's Newsround
Geeef found it by chance on an old tape, as far as I'm aware.

Jemble Fred

  • ... And I ain't ashamed.
    • 100% BALLS
Ah, is it just the one? I sent the whole series of ads from JC's own collection to somebody, for sure, and I know they MP3'd it up for online use. Can't remember who though. Good one, geeef, anyway.

I'll try and dig out the full series, if anyone's interested – I'm sure I've got it on disc somewhere. Possibly the Smith & Jones ads which were on the same tape, too. I'll have a look, at least.


  • Parole Hearing: 99/99/9999
What happened in the second episode of the IT Crowd? They all kind of merge into one for me. know the bit where Morris' Denham performed the eulogy? That was fucking priceless. Seriously made me laugh as hard if not harder than any other TV performance he's ever done. Apart from Fur Q.

Thanks for the GLR show Neil! Will give it a listen later on.

Ah, lovely! Thanks again, Neil! Only listened to about a third of this yet, but it's well up to par. Loved the Franco spot, though Morris' accent slips all over the place towards the end. Great variety of music again too. Just a really refreshing thing to listen to altogether. Oh, and I think the B52s track was called 'Roam', BTW. As I recall, it was the much-superior follow up to 'Love Shack' which didn't do anywhere near as well.

I know how difficult it is getting together stuff like this, especially with limited hard disk space and the great stuff that's out there on torrent sites right now (some of them full 4Gb+ DVDs). One of the advantages of the GLR shows coming out at this frequency though is that they're real events when they do arrive. Also, I tend to listen to them a lot more than I would if the whole lot were available in one download.

Thanks for the udate Neil, looking forward to giving that full show a listen.

That show's absolutely fantastic, cheers to all those responsible etc...
Also, I have some white boots remarkably similar to those in that picture. Is that something to be proud of I wonder? Probably not...

Lt Plonker

  • Never forget.
    • Graymation
What sort of DJ was Wayne Carr based on? In most of the stuff I've heard he seems more like a Chris Evans sort of DJ, but I heard an entire skit that seemed more like Tony Blackburn.


  • Member
  • **
He [Wayne Carr] reminds me mostly of Steve Wrightintheafternoon, but I suppose for comedy inspiration Morris took on aspects of other DJs personalities.

Thanks for the upload, listening to it now and it's refreshing to listen to.


  • I'm not interested
Yeah - he's heavily Wright-based (hence the "Talky Bit" et al).

Quote from: "Jemble Fred"

Unless 'geeef' has been in touch with Canter himself, the Duracell ads probably come from my bad self. I seem to recall sending copies out to Clinty and, possibly, TJ, a few years ago when I interviewed JC. I thought they'd been online ever since, actually, but it's not on Stabbers.

I found it on the same tape as the Morris ad, it was called "Inspirational Radio Ads", or something like that. I only have that one of the Duracell ads, how many were there in all? I'm certainly interested in hearing them all!
edit: I've just found the tape (I haven't given it back to Ronnie yet, tsk..she says I can keep it though).
It's produced by "The Radio Advertising Archive', based at 77 Shaftesbury Avenue, London, according to the cover.
There is a "Firrips"  ad on there too, are those the Smith and Jones ads that you meant, Jemble fred?

Sorry if this sounds like the request of a leecher, but would it be possible to upload a repack of all the glr shows in circulation to the tracker? I missed the first ones and they don't seem to be available anywhere.

Also, is it rude to ask how many more GLR shows Neil has up his sleeve?

Thanks a lot!