Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 09:42:10 PM

Login with username, password and session length

"There's nothing we can do about it. That's life"

Started by Adrian Brezhnev, August 18, 2006, 03:23:26 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Johnny Yesno

All those names, company names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty and fuckwitted, right?

My Giddy Aunt

If not i could have a good guess where you work.

Adrian Brezhnev

Quote from: "Johnny Yesno"All those names, company names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty and fuckwitted, right?
Possibly!

Quote from: "Gail at Head Office"With reference to your email regading Caroline M.

As you will see from the attached copies, the details were unclear on
the form. Jeremy confirmed the bank details as requested, but these
must have been incorrect as the money was rejected at the bank.

A cheque for £140 was sent to Promar at the beginning of last week
which was for the first rejected payment. Her bank details were then
taken out as they were obviously incorrect. She will be paid another
cheque later this week for the payment that should go to her bank on
Friday 25th (if we had been given the correct details). The remaining
cheque for her 2nd payment of £100 will be raised as soon as we have
confirmation that the money has been returned to our bank. This
is standard company procedure - we do not raise cheques until we see
the money back in our account.

Any complaints you may have regarding this should be raised with your
local management, as I do not know what else we can do when we have
already tried our best for Caroline.

Thankyou

Quote from: "Joyless Milk"If not i could have a good guess where you work.
Go on, have a guess!

Milo

'we do not raise cheques until we see the money back in our account'

What would happen if Caroline M 'could not afford petrol' and didn't turn up for work until payment cleared?

Adrian Brezhnev

She'd have to walk to work or I'd have to collect her!

...which is what is currently happening.

Adrian Brezhnev

{Update}- Lo and behold, the so-called "manager" who told me that nothing could be done about something is now trying to get me sacked! Unsuccesfully so far...

Identity Crisis Ahoy!


Adrian Brezhnev

I've been reasonably impressed with the way in which Gail Head Office responded- I thanked her for her involvement and added that I was relieved to find that the local managers' comments that trying to contact her would be a complete waste of time turned out to be untrue.

The payment issue is now largely resolved, but the manager who's possibly the forgotten son of Esther Rantzen is very very upset. I have not seen him in person since all this kicked off, but he arranged for the people working in my team to be put in someone elses team since he thought I "had negged them out".

I commented that a lot of things have "negged out" my team, but I am certainly not one of them- indeed I have done everything to reassure them that the company is not always as crap as what they have recently seen.

Boing

There's Cyril Fletcher.What a cunt HE was,with his gozzy eye,burgundy leather upholstery,plummy "I'm better than YOU" intonation and shit poems/glasses.I never thought I'd see that man again and there he is,bringing back all kinds of Freddy Krueger neuroses.Thanks for that.

Adrian Brezhnev

Shut up! Oh dear, now that this thread has been boinged, it's bound to sink without trace!

Boing

Quote from: "Adrian Brezhnev"Shut up! Oh dear, now that this thread has been boinged, it's bound to sink without trace!
Thannnng you,Esther.

Pinball


Mister Cairo

Quote from: "Boing"
Quote from: "Adrian Brezhnev"Shut up! Oh dear, now that this thread has been boinged, it's bound to sink without trace!
Thannnng you,Esther.

Is it like being Tangoed?

I have no idea what happens when you are Tangoed. I assume it just means you drink Tango. In the adverts it always seems to involve people being beaten.

Adrian Brezhnev

No. Being Tangoed is (possibly) quite funny.

weekender

Bank transfers are fun.

I've been trying to invest £1,500,000 on behalf of a client of ours for about three weeks now.  You'd have thought it would be a simple case of transferring money from one bank account to another, but no.

My favourite part is the realisation that, at the start of the transaction, I asked the person acting on behalf of the receiving bank to clarify the bank details.  "Yes, those are fine" they said.

Three weeks later, when the monies had been rejected every single time, I had contacted everyone involved in the process. All was fine, apparently.

Then, in this most recent week, the person whom I had contacted in the first place told me they'd got the sortcode wrong.  No wonder the fucking money hadn't been transferred.  Cunt.

My summary is that one must assume people are idiots.  Not sure how this ties in to everything, but I wanted to get it off my chest.

6 years of chasing bank letters as part of the audit process lead me to believe that pretty much everyone who works in that department is a fuckwit.  For those who don't know what a bank letter is, it is simply a direct confirmation to the auditor of the accounts held by the company concerned.  If a company has just the one or two accounts you would've thought this would be a very simple exercise, but apparently it isn't.  I've been quoted 45 working days for one of these fuckers.  They take about two minutes to draft.  The client gets charged £25 + VAT (at least) for this privilege.  Cunts.

Don't even get me started on escrow transfers

edit - I presume you got some sex (Adrian) for your general manliness

Adrian Brezhnev

She hasn't offered it, but then it is thought by most people in the company that she is a virgin, and while she is a pleasant person, she is just about the last person I would want to have sex with.

Is that a diplomatic way of saying she's ugly?

Oscar

It's not very diplomatic.
Being the last person someone has sex with is far worse than being ugly.

Purple Tentacle


I guess you don't have to look at the mantlepiece.....

edit - in reference to Adrian's ugly workmate, not PT's mum

weekender

Quote from: "Purple Tentacle"Are you calling my mum worse than ugly?

Ugh, you want to have sex with your dad.  That's what you said.

Purple Tentacle

Quote from: "weekender"
Quote from: "Purple Tentacle"Are you calling my mum worse than ugly?
Ugh, you want to have sex with your dad.  That's what you said.

Weekender: "I would fuck my mum rather than my dad".

I'd fuck my dad rather than my mum, because I think the relationship would be easier to repair afterwards.

Obviously for this fucking to occur, some sort of stressful and unusual circumstances would have to be present.

weekender

I would fuck my mum rather than my dad - at least then I'd just be incestuous instead of incestuous AND gay.  Not that there's anything wrong with those things.

Let's just hope that the particular set of circumstances required to get me in a position where I have to make the choice never occur.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteObviously for this fucking to occur, some sort of stressful and unusual circumstances would have to be present

A leap year and a bank holiday? Jesus Christ.

buttgammon

Quote from: "weekender"I would fuck my mum rather than my dad - at least then I'd just be incestuous instead of incestuous AND gay.  Not that there's anything wrong with those things.

Let's just hope that the particular set of circumstances required to get me in a position where I have to make the choice never occur.

I would also fuck my mum rather than my dad, but that's because I wouldn't have to do any digging to get her there in the first place!

Purple Tentacle

Hmm, would I fuck my dead dad* or my live mum?

Again, there would be less embarassment if I fucked my dad's corpse, as he'd never know. I suppose I'm scared of fucking my mum, just in case either one of us started enjoying it.


I think this is exactly the sort of discussion Neil had in mind when he started up this website.


*At the time of writing, my dad is not dead.

Oscar

Just to make a point, I'm going to seek out and fuck all your parents, dead or not. Then you'll know I'm not ugly.
Did I get that right? It made sense in my head, but now it's written down...

Boing

Did your Dad ever come down in the morning when you were getting ready for school and say:
"I fucked your Mother last night."?
Mine did,the sick animal.

pandadeath

I think i've walked into the wrong forum. How did all this incest business start? You lot are worse than the blacks!