Return Of The Son Of Worst Adverts EVER

[hansen mork]

Just seen the ad for some hand held game thing, which is just copying that brain game for the DS, but for kids. Some pathetic failure of a mother is filming her kids and thinking what to label her bollocks production. It starts off with something logical like "the kids playing computer game". She then corrects herself until she reaches the satisfactory

"How about Josh and boggins expanding the size of their brains? Yeahhhh, we like that."

Another shit advert is the Hastings insurance one where the shitty knight sings in the middle of his sentence the most tunless phone number jingle ever.  "DRONEDRONRDRONEDRONEDRONE 10 66"

[Cerys]

Can I rant again about that bloody whining woman who goes on about her utter lack of ability to organise her finances, and how Debt-twatters (or whatever) use government legislation to bail her out of her own shopoholic fuck-ups?  Please?

[mothman]

"Ford Fiesta: driving it is like being snogged by some random Spanish bird in a bar." Fuckoff fuckoff fuckoff!!!

That long b&w ad way back on the first page is for GHD hair straighteners, yes. They're the best, my wife has some.

What really gets me about that McDonalds ad is that the guy is so obviously not actually eating the burger. Hold it directly in front of your mouth and pretend to chew, that's right, it sure makes all those years at RADA worthwhile.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Can I rant again about that bloody whining woman who goes on about her utter lack of ability to organise her finances, and how Debt-twatters (or whatever) use government legislation to bail her out of her own shopoholic fuck-ups?  Please?

You were one of the people who had symapthy for those thickos who would remortgage their home because they saw an advert where Carol Vordermann said it was a good idea!

[Cerys]

Admittedly yes, but they don't have the rant-inducing vocal whine that this woman has.  Aaaaargh!

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Admittedly yes, but they don't have the rant-inducing vocal whine that this woman has.  Aaaaargh!

I think people who go bankrupt should be sentenced to death by hanging. I don't really have anything against bankrupt people but such a law would, if introduced, lead to the death of Jim Davidson. Bring back hanging!

[Catalogue Trousers]

Thankfully, it seems that someone has at last silenced the Paedo Guns Of Asda.

At least, I haven't seen any of their previously-ubiquitous ads in any commercial breaks in the last few days.

[Doctor Stamen]

That poxy lager advert (I think it's for Cobra) with the smug bastard in the lift.  What a complete git.

[The Gush]

I really hate the Barclays ad.  "Now there's a thought".  What does it mean in relation to banking or opening an account with barclays?  It's not a play on words, it isn't witty or clever.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?  "Barclays, now there's a cunt" spoken by that smug voiced cow  would work much better.

[Captain Crunch]

Thankfully, it seems that someone has at last silenced the Paedo Guns Of Asda.

Y'all ain't seen da nu one den, whupbedadda.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Admittedly yes, but they don't have the rant-inducing vocal whine that this woman has.  Aaaaargh!

I think people who go bankrupt should be sentenced to death by hanging. I don't really have anything against bankrupt people but such a law would, if introduced, lead to the death of Jim Davidson. Bring back hanging!

I support Davidson's hanging, but as a bankruptee I ask for my life to be spared. Society needs me, as do temping agencies in North Yorks.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Captain Crunch wrote:

Y'all ain't seen da nu one den, whupbedadda.

*despairing sigh*

So, which poor undeserving song are they massacring now?

[the midnight watch baboon]

<KOP>......cushioned header... FOR GERRARD OH YOU BEAUTY! Well you don't need me to explain that...


Yeah, but Sky seem to need to air the fucken ad every 25.7 minutes!

[bomb_dog]

There's yet another misandristic PC World advert around, which ends with the saleswoman making a shite joke that the Advent PC that the dumb bitch is about to buy will last longer than her idiotic boyfriend. They both look at eachother knowingly, fucking fat cows.

"... and its futureproof!"

NO. If there is one thing a computer isn't, it's that its FUTUREPROOF.

[The Gush]

I actually like the ad with the transformer dancing robot car thingy but this just illustrates why car ads are rubbish.  The cars in these ads bare no relation to reality.  Cars to me, aren't exciting or sexy, they're just a way of getting from A to B.  The reality of driving is being stuck in gridlocked traffic at rushour and the agony of trying to find parking space on your own road after 5pm.  I can't wait for all the oil to run out, then we'll be back to good old-fashioned horse-drawn carriages.  Fuck jeremy clarkeson and all the other sad car-bummers.

[Hypnotoad.]

Admittedly yes, but they don't have the rant-inducing vocal whine that this woman has.  Aaaaargh!

I think people who go bankrupt should be sentenced to death by hanging. I don't really have anything against bankrupt people but such a law would, if introduced, lead to the death of Jim Davidson. Bring back hanging!

And Richard Blackwood

[Anon]

Wow, I'm amazed this has gone on for four pages without anyone mentioning the Zurich ads that inevitably end with the cringe-inducing tagline "Because change happenz" (which inevitably results in me screaming at the television and calling it nasty things).  I actually can't remember anything else about the advert apart from that, but rest assured that if i ever find whatever souless adverising shit was responsible then I'll hammer a dictionary through his bollocks until he learns not to use pseudo-cool spellings.  Grrr.

(Oh, just to fit in with everyone else...yeah, the French woman of that ad is very nice.  Ding dong and all that jazz.)

[chav]

<KOP>......cushioned header... FOR GERRARD OH YOU BEAUTY! Well you don't need me to explain that...

Yeh, I'm ever so suspicious about this one, you can imagine Andy Gray's bosses saying to him, "here, next time a cracking goal goes in at one of the HD games, say some shite about the pictures telling the story, we can use it on an ad". Was it from this season?

[Brutus Beefcake]

I actually like the ad with the transformer dancing robot car thingy but this just illustrates why car ads are rubbish.

That advert reminds me of how shit the Transformers movie is going to be.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Admittedly yes, but they don't have the rant-inducing vocal whine that this woman has.  Aaaaargh!

I think people who go bankrupt should be sentenced to death by hanging. I don't really have anything against bankrupt people but such a law would, if introduced, lead to the death of Jim Davidson. Bring back hanging!

And Richard Blackwood

Haha, how could I forget?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Blackwood

He was reportedly often heckled with the phrase "Oi Blackwood, you're BANKRUPT!" by passers-by on the street [3].

[The Gush]

It goes without saying, but those Halifax ads are fucking hideous. Can someone confirm whether this series has lasted so long due to popularity with the general public or are they just doing this to torture us? STOP IT.

The only remotely funny aspect to this series of commercials is the 'stardom' of Howard Brown. When a friend of mine worked in a camera shop in Ealing, his manager had a side 'career' as Howard's lookalike, appearing at conferences and private parties. Possibly the saddest man in showbiz.

Here's a link to Howard's fan page. I for one did not know the myopic fuck had a Top 20 hit.

http://tinyurl.com/y26qk9

According to Akin Ojumu, writing in the Observer, Howard has been part of a new wave of positive representations of black people. Howard commented on this; "Of course I'm proud to be involved in something that has done well. I think we are making progress in the way we are represented"

Howard is from Sheldon, Birmingham, England.

He is a well-loved man especially by Jenny Baird from Surrey who describes him as "just lovely"

* This is why I voted BNP at the last general election.



































* No, of course I didn't vote fascist.

[Timmy O'Toole]

<KOP>......cushioned header... FOR GERRARD OH YOU BEAUTY! Well you don't need me to explain that...

Yeh, I'm ever so suspicious about this one, you can imagine Andy Gray's bosses saying to him, "here, next time a cracking goal goes in at one of the HD games, say some shite about the pictures telling the story, we can use it on an ad". Was it from this season?

It's his winner (equaliser) against Olympiakos in the last game of the 04/05 group stages. They needed a win or something, was an incredible game, apparently. Don't actually remember anything about it apart from "you beauty!" though.

[The Region Legion]

How about the sponsor message at the end of Sky News's weather report?

"Sponsored by CATER AIRWAYS"

You'd think someone could have explained how to say "Qutar" if they're fucking sponsoring the weather.

[The Region Legion]

Ooo.. ooo... and..

That England/France Renault one - doesn't anyone else see that as a rather horrible "look lads, it's not really french! It's designed by us plucky Brits! And our country is better. But their girls are a bit of alright EH EH EH EH EH WOULDN'T MIND A BIT OF FRENCH CRUMPET EH LADS"

Infuriating.

[Huzzie]

How about the sponsor message at the end of Sky News's weather report?

"Sponsored by CATER AIRWAYS"

You'd think someone could have explained how to say "Qutar" if they're fucking sponsoring the weather.

What!?? They pronounce it like to cater food to a group??

Devlin - I had never thought about it that way bnut thinking about it you could be right. It wouldn't suprise me in the least.

[mothman]

I heard on the radio today that complaints have been upheld about one of those Original Source ads suposedly featuring a girl who was underage. I presume they mean the Lemon/Lime one, since the Lavender one didn't seem underage. I hope! Because my reaction to the Lavender one was "she's hot" while I thought something was a bit odd/off about the girl in the Lemon one. If it's the other way around, I'm in trouble.

My only reaction to the Mint one (with bloke) was "Crikey, that's a lot of mint leaves."

[The Region Legion]

What!?? They pronounce it like to cater food to a group??

No, like "CAT-ERR", which isn't as bad as your interpretation at least, but still fucking shoddy for such a high profile thing.

Devlin - I had never thought about it that way bnut thinking about it you could be right. It wouldn't suprise me in the least.

Just wouldn't surprise me that a company like Renault would want to make their English links very clear in this age of BNP and Freedom Fries, and this advert always leaves a really bad taste in my mouth for that very reason.

And I always think it's odd how the french girl names two writers, english bloke only says shakespeare and for some reason the french girl just admits defeat, but there you go, just another annoying thing in something that's annoying in every possibly way.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I heard on the radio today that complaints have been upheld about one of those Original Source ads suposedly featuring a girl who was underage. I presume they mean the Lemon/Lime one, since the Lavender one didn't seem underage. I hope! Because my reaction to the Lavender one was "she's hot" while I thought something was a bit odd/off about the girl in the Lemon one. If it's the other way around, I'm in trouble.

My only reaction to the Mint one (with bloke) was "Crikey, that's a lot of mint leaves."

'It's like standing in a hailstorm of mint imperials'...or something like that. Why the twat would that appeal to anyone?

[mothman]

Precisely. That said, using the stuff is pretty amazing, it'd wake the dead, I tell you.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Yes I agree that it's good, makes my perineum particularly alive.