Squinty McGinty

[Deadman97]

Dear Aubrey

I just rubbed my eye, forgetting that I've got bleach on my hand. Ow, it's fucking hurting like fuck, it's streaming and it feels swollen. I've ran it under the tap but it's still really hurting. Fucking ow. OW.

Do you have any experience in the realm of fashion eye-patches, and how does one compensate for having no depth perception?

Regards,

Blindman97

[Aubrey Barkus]

Dear Aubrey

I just rubbed my eye, forgetting that I've got bleach on my hand. Ow, it's fucking hurting like fuck, it's streaming and it feels swollen. I've ran it under the tap but it's still really hurting. Fucking ow. OW.

Do you have any experience in the realm of fashion eye-patches, and how does one compensate for having no depth perception?

Regards,

Blindman97

The important thing as ever in these cases is to act quickly!  Don't delay!  Hold on there young man, whoever you are, I'll be straight back with the answer!

[Aubrey Barkus]

Hold fast!  I'm sure I'll locate the First Aid Book any moment now.

[Aubrey Barkus]

Bollocks, that was the Collins Complete Woodworker's Manual by Albert Jackson and David Day.  Hold on!

[Aubrey Barkus]

Right!  Apparently the important thing is not to induce vomiting as it'll cause even more damage coming up again.  Oh, hang on...

[Aubrey Barkus]

Aha!

Acording to the Canadian Bleach Distribution Guidelines one should "flush his or her eyes thoroughly with lukewarm water for at least ten (10) minutes while holding the eyelids open and seek medical attention to ensure there are no burns to the eyes."  Do you have his or hers eyes?  Or his and hers eyes, like a posh bathroom.  I suppose you could have had an eye transplant from a lady.  Incidentally who was looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes I wonder?

The iris receives messages
And send them to my brain
No guarantee the stimuli
Must be perceived the same.

Indeed.