Laughable News

[Blumf]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/coventry_warwickshire/6116650.stm

A council is to remove new road signs that tell drivers they cannot leave a roundabout in Coventry.

New traffic lights on the roundabout on the A444 have No Left Turn signs to stop drivers exiting onto entry roads.

But the same signs were also put up at the correct exits meaning that once drivers were on the roundabout they could only leave by breaking the law.

I often wonder if the people planning roads actually have the first clue about what they're doing.

It's also worth noting that Coventry has an absolute bastard of an inner ring road system too.

[rudi]

"This will be sold to four, five and six-year olds. This is a most dangerous toy that will contribute towards destroying children's innocence."

I'm off to Tesco to find loose four year olds with 50 knicker in their, erm, knickers and a penchant for pole-dancing. From what I've learnt in the prozzie thread I'd be a millionaire within the year.

[Jim Burton]

Tesco has been forced to remove a pole-dancing kit from the toys and games section of its website after it was accused of "destroying children's innocence".

Daily Mail must be the major promoters of this product as a child's toy. But fuck it for the bucks, I suppose.

Dr Adrian Rogers, of family campaigning group Family Focus said yesterday that the kit would "destroy children's lives".

...if enough hysterical 'family' campaigners say that it will... maybe he'll end up right.

Children are being encouraged to dance round a pole which is interpreted in the adult world as a phallic symbol.

Damn, this man's depth of knowledge is really something, even if he doesn't see the glaring parralel with the twee maypole.

This is a most dangerous toy that will contribute towards destroying children's innocence

I just love the way that these 'family campaigners' who seek to protect 'natural innocence', seem to think that the said is inherent, yet so fragile. Welcome to Conservatardia.

This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children

Because it's totally fine to 'corrupt your children into depravity', as long as you do it with the focussed certainty of a cultist. RIGHT ON!

But the comments madness didn't end at Mr Clunge from Mungington!

I note that this product is in Europe where it has become fashionable to remove God from society and politics with extreme liberalism. This is the result.

Bill Spathealth, Mt Pleasant

Circular argument! Prime Specemin!

I find it amazing that they would sell anything like this on their site! They are based around the family and these sort of items destroys that image. They should atleast put an age restriction on this product as excercise of this sort cannot be good for a child!.

Pete O'Bear, Grimsby

Surely not 4chan's Pedo Bear???

[SOTS]

I'd be more worried about Bratz. Especially the baby ones.





Bratz, creating slutty babies and superficial whores since 2001.

[gazzyk1ns]

I like how they always photograph these families looking "quite upset"

I also hate it when parents choose to involve their kids in a protest/statement of any kind, as a tool. Take that photo, for example - either those kids have absolutely no idea about what their parents are complaining about, in which case they shouldn't be in the photo looking miserable; or their parents have deliberately told them what the fuss is about, which is the more likely explanation, and another reminder of what idiots they are, bearing in mind their apparent view of what is being complained about.

[Dark Sky]

I'd be more worried about Bratz.

I find the male Bratz dolls quite fanciable.  Is that wrong?

[SOTS]

I'd be more worried about Bratz.

I find the male Bratz dolls quite fanciable.  Is that wrong?

Come on, you know you want it.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

That's not a man doll, it's a lesbian doll.

[Brutus Beefcake]

I really want to know which area of the store these were being sold in, if it was in the toys aisle then fair play, but if it was was somewhere like exercise equipment then this is total bull.

[SOTS]

That's not a man doll, it's a lesbian doll.

A lesbian called Koby.

[DaFuzz]

A festivus for the rest of us!

[Psybro]

This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children.

As previously mentioned, it's wonderfully charming that they want to actively encourage you to have the choice to corrupt your children, just so long as you do so through a specialist outfit.

[mothman]

Yes, damn it! You just try spending one Bank Holiday trying to devise some entertainment for the kiddies, when the weather's terrible or any nearby suitable attractions are plagued by long queues, and you'll leap at the chance of corrupting your own children. And it's something you can do at home, too.

[Captain Crunch]

Anyway, is it the sexualisation of children or the infantilisation of sex?

Bugger my artex I never considered that.  But, for once, I am far too young to comment.  When did adult size school uniforms start to appear under the counters?  I have no idea but I would stick my neck out and assert that these days it's all about commercialism / consumerism, call it what you will.  I'm sure there must have a time when couples got on perfectly well thankyouverymuch with two long feathers and a leather belt.  I could be wrong but 49p for masking tape?  No, I'll pay £12.99 for 'bondage tape' instead.  Right.  Yeah.

Those Baby Bratz look like they've got Elephantitis.

[Marv Orange]

When did adult size school uniforms start to appear under the counters?

A hour after the first St Trinians movie came out.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Not to be outdone by Apple's refusal to play all formats on their iPod, Microsoft have released a player that won't even play their formats:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/6120272.stm

People who have bought music from Microsoft's MSN Music store could face problems if they decide to buy the firm's new Zune portable player.
Microsoft has said it will stop selling music from MSN music from 14 November, when Zune goes on sale in the US.

But in a move that could alienate some customers, MSN-bought tracks will not be compatible with the new gadget.

The move could also spell problems for the makers of MP3 players which are built to work with the MSN store.

[Mister Cairo]

Not really news, but I watched the commentary on Green Wing Series 2. You know the Harry Potter scene when the "Office Girls" discussed which Harry Potter house they would be in? They had to pay JK Rowling royalties! For discussing Harry Potter in a comedy!

[Suttonpubcrawl]

When did adult size school uniforms start to appear under the counters?

Most people are a fairly close approximation of their adult size (or even fully grown) by the time they reach the age of 16, which is the minimum school leaving age. I just tried on an old school uniform shirt from that age (I'm not just doing this to prove a point, it was really close to hand and I was curious as to whether I had grown much since then) and I don't seem to have grown at all.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Post pics or it didn't happen.

[grundie]

Sticking a "Back Cat" rocket up yer arse can cause serious injuries, as this fellow discovered.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Man invents South African man to take the blame for his speeding, and gets two months in prison, presumably to the sound of the whole courtrooms laughter.

[Speciality meat product]

Fish and chip shop owner receives complaint that his fish and chip shop smells of fish and chips

[Hypnotoad.]

Sticking a "Back Cat" rocket up yer arse can cause serious injuries, as this fellow discovered.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

"Scorched Colon"; I think we've all been there

[buttgammon]

Sticking a "Back Cat" rocket up yer arse can cause serious injuries, as this fellow discovered.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

"Scorched Colon"; I think we've all been there

I suffered that after a particularly strong Vindaloo. I won't even go into how unpleasant the treatment was!

[Des Nilsen]

Completely wrong to mention, because it's not laughable news, just one ticklish line. I have to post it.

BBC news just now....

"He was attacked by fifteen Neo-Nazis as they piled out of a tram"

-

[Cerys]

Ah, that'll be the Keystone Fascists we've all heard so much about.

[SweetRosalyn]

Just to return to the pole for a moment... I have that pole! I bought it from a sex shop ages ago.  Me and a friend were going to pole dance for a variety show.  

The pole isn't amazing, mind.  Unless you have the right kind of ceiling it slips around and you can't put much weight on it at all.  And it made a big dent in my old ceiling, too.

The pole itself isn't marketed for children, though, not in the slightest.  Sounds like just someone at Tesco's fucked up and didn't look closely at what it was.

Oh, and bondage tape isn't similar to masking tape at all.  Nor is it very similar to gaffer, which may have been what you were thinking of?  It doesn't stick to your body, it sticks to itself.  Thus it doesn't not pull all your hairs off when you try to remove it.  Which can be very handy, depending upon where you want to put it and what your pain tolerance is.
Erm.  Anyway.  Yes. Carry on...

[SetToStun]

Sticking a "Back Cat" rocket up yer arse can cause serious injuries, as this fellow discovered.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

"Scorched Colon"; I think we've all been there

Off a "Black Cat" firework? Come off it - you wouldn't even get singed winnets. This smells of "advertising stunt" to me...

[SOTS]

"He was attacked by fifteen Neo-Nazis as they piled out of a tram"

-

My mum laughed at the bit where the caption came up under some guy's name with "FORMER NEO-NAZI" written under it.

[mothman]

Perhaps it's an inadvertent anagram and his name was really IAN ZONER-FROME or something?