Laughable News

[MojoJojo]

I could be wrong but 49p for masking tape?  No, I'll pay £12.99 for 'bondage tape' instead.  Right.  Yeah.

Bondage tape is completely different to masking tape, though. Bondage tape isn't sticky at all (at least before it is used), it uses some weird static property so it sticks to itself and only itself. That way you can use it to restrict your loved ones position without ripping off bits of skin afterwards. Or use it as a makeshift blindfold without removing their eyebrows. Or use it too make kinky underwear. It's also cheaper than £12.99 everywhere except Ann Summers.

Just so you know.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

It sounds like regular electrical tape to me.

[Cerys]

If by that you mean insulation tape, it'd be adhesive.  Plumbing tape would make more sense.

[Marv Orange]

Any else  amazed about how the guy hacking in to teenage girl computers has been reported on BBC news. The awe and shock or the newsreader and police that the guy can move the mouse on another computer, start up the printer AND EVEN OPEN THE CD TRAY.

This shit is built in to xp its called remote assistance you fuckwits.

All this was compounded by a image of a guy with glasses staring in to a computer screen with 10 different websites flashing up in the reflection of his glasses every second.

Then came a screen of green ones and zeros.

NEO IS A PAEDO NAHH NA NA NAHHH!!!!!

[Mister Cairo]

The awe and shock or the newsreader and police that the guy can move the mouse on another computer, start up the printer AND EVEN OPEN THE CD TRAY

I watched BBC News last night and as the newsreader mentioned each of these they happened on the PC behind her. Good to know the BBC caters to those who've never seen a CD tray in action.

[mothman]

Overnight, sales of replacement CD drives plummet as people realise they're NOT for putting their mugs of tea on.

[Captain Crunch]

Bondage tape is completely different to masking tape, though. Bondage tape isn't sticky at all (at least before it is used), it uses some weird static property so it sticks to itself and only itself. That way you can use it to restrict your loved ones position without ripping off bits of skin afterwards. Or use it as a makeshift blindfold without removing their eyebrows. Or use it too make kinky underwear. It's also cheaper than £12.99 everywhere except Ann Summers.

I was not aware of that I must admit, I thought it was just extra shiny tape, a bit like police tape but sticky.

I was just having a rant because it seems like products over imagination these days.  Just as children don't need loads and loads of STUFF to play, adults don't either.  I'm not against the sale of sex aids; I just worry that there may be folk out there who feel they can't indulge in something a little elaborate without buying a bagful of tat from Anne Summers.

[SOTS]

Any else  amazed about how the guy hacking in to teenage girl computers has been reported on BBC news. The awe and shock or the newsreader and police that the guy can move the mouse on another computer, start up the printer AND EVEN OPEN THE CD TRAY.

I loved how the "reconstruction" just showed typing, clicking a mouse and a computer screen.

[buttgammon]

Any else  amazed about how the guy hacking in to teenage girl computers has been reported on BBC news. The awe and shock or the newsreader and police that the guy can move the mouse on another computer, start up the printer AND EVEN OPEN THE CD TRAY.

I loved how the "reconstruction" just showed typing, clicking a mouse and a computer screen.

That's just because nobody at the BBC knew what a CD tray was, so they had to just bluff their way through showing stock footage of computers 'in action' in the hope that nobody would notice.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Let's not be too elitist. I'm pretty sure my Gran has absolutely no idea what a CD drive is, and she probably thinks remote assistance is what gets her out of the bath.

And then let's not forget the millions of people like Richard Blackwood out there who think keyboards can emit the toxic vapours of hammers. If da papers tell it to be so...

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6136944.stm

Someone has the most brilliant name ever:

Two US students are suing a film studio claiming they were duped into appearing in spoof movie Borat starring Sacha Baron Cohen as a Kazakh journalist.
The unknown plaintiffs are seen making sexist and racist remarks in Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

Legal papers said the two men "engaged in behaviour that they otherwise would not have engaged in."

20th Century Fox spokesman Gregg Brilliant said the case "has no merit".

[surreal]

Princess Beatrice of York has apparently signed up to go into space (or close as they get) on the new Virgin Galactic flights in 2009:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13551919,00.html

Up, Up And Away
Updated: 15:32, Sunday November 12, 2006

Princess Beatrice will be the first royal in space, according to reports.

The 18-year-old - who is fifth in line to the throne - will be on board Virgin boss Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic mission, set to blast off into space in 2009.

According to the Mail on Sunday, the Duke and Duchess of York's daughter was persuaded to boldly go where no royal has gone before by her boyfriend David Clark, who works for Branson's space project.

Tickets costs £100,000 for the three-and-a-half-hour flight.

Passengers will undergo an intensive four-day training course at the Virgin space camp in America's Mojave Desert before their trip.

More than 13,500 people have already signed up for the flights which Sir Richard has described as safer than Nasa's spaceships.

Will she really be allowed to do that?

[Frinky]

I can't see why not. It's not like being 5th-in-line really counts for anything, does it? It'll just make the event allegedly prestigious.

I heartilly approve of this thinning-of-the-numbers exercise?

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I hope it crashes and they all die. I'd fucking love that.

[terminallyrelaxed]

I dunno. What difference will Bea getting burnt to a crisp over Dusseldorf to the general ongoing travesty that is the monarchy? It'll only drum up more bloody sympathy.
No, while possibly the plaything of the rich and hardly carbon neutral I think anything that contributes to the next step is a good thing, even if only to make it look possible. The planet's not getting any bigger, we need to get into space, where there'll be action and excitement and really wild things.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

The colonisation of other planets, the moon or even space stations are a pipe dream. It won't happen.

[Mister Cairo]

Gordon Brown has promised to be a "terror overlord" according to the Times, which sounds rather scary.

[Blumf]

The colonisation of other planets, the moon or even space stations are a pipe dream. It won't happen.

But we'll still get ray guns right?... RIGHT?

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Maybe, but you'll have to make your own PEW PEW noises and you won't be able to ride your hover board whilst using one.

[Hypnotoad.]

Sticking a "Back Cat" rocket up yer arse can cause serious injuries, as this fellow discovered.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

Sigh, watching this video you will realise that there are some utterly thick cunts on this planet. Seriously, we need a cull of our species, and fast

(don't worry, its not graphic)

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/audiovideo/news/index.var.1169.0.0.php

[Bogey]

The colonisation of other planets, the moon or even space stations are a pipe dream. It won't happen.

Ever? Are you sure?

What you appear to be forgetting here is that they all laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the world was round.

I like the Virgin Galactic thing. I like it because it's cool, exciting and utterly unprecedented. I'd have loved to have been around in the moon-landings era; it's tragic (but somewhat understandable) that general enthusism for space travel has diminished so much since then. This sort of thing stirs the damn soul, of some people at least. It may be the preserve of the rich now, but so did everything initially. I hope to book my trip somewhere around 2030.

[Bingo Fury]

What you appear to be forgetting here is that they all laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the world was round.

Common misconception. By Columbus's time, it was widely understood that the Earth was a sphere. They were actually laughing at his silly hat.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

So Ner.

[terminallyrelaxed]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6143118.stm

Australian Scientists create sound-producing "Air Guitar T-shirt".

[Blumf]

Amusing in a slightly sick/slapstick way:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4313978.stm

An unusual clash between a 6-foot (1.8m) alligator and a 13-foot (3.9m) python has left two of the deadliest predators dead in Florida's swamps.

The Burmese python tried to swallow its fearsome rival whole but then exploded.

Pythons are a bit dumb with their eating method, they can't unswallow something which can lead to problems. I've heard stories about pythons trying to eat people but starting with a single leg so they get stuck when they reach the crotch (in one version of the tail the person was asleep at the time, woke up to find his leg embedded in the snake and subsequently had a fatal heart attack from the shock (no I don't know how true that is)).

[Blumf]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6171600.stm

One of the twin daughters of President George W Bush has been robbed of her handbag in Argentina despite protection by US Secret Service agents.

Heh!

[VegaLA]

In Australia ?
Own an iPod ?
Go directly to jail !

http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/the-65000-question-do-you-own-an-ipod/2006/11/20/1163871308087.html

[Labian Quest]

Wow, this guy's really darrrk, gingerbread nazis? heaveee..

A display of gingerbread men in a shop window might not seem to be the most controversial thing in the world. But a shop owner has removed just such a display – on the grounds that they were gingerbread Nazis.

Oberlin, Ohio hardware store owner Charlie Palmer decided that the fascistic gingerbread men crossed a line after people started complaining.

The gingerbread men were created by local artist Keith McGuckin, who has displayed his works in Palmer's store window before. Palmer gave McGuckin until today to remove the gingernazis

Palmer said of McGuckin's goose-stepping little treats: 'He's gone way overboard this time. A few of his other displays were on the edge, but never that crazy.'

The ruckus over the gingerbread Nazis might not be entirely unexpected given McGuckin's 'on the edge' display from last year – featuring a little boy using his new chemistry set to manufacture crystal meth, and a snowman beating up carol singers.

McGuckin defended his work, saying: 'I can differentiate between real Nazis and that the atrocities they performed compared to these little gingerbread men, but I guess some people can't.'

'Maybe I just find beauty in bizarre places,' he added, ruefully.

Fans of McGuckin's art will be pleased to know that one element of his work currently remains in place – a snowman trying to commit suicide by sitting under a hairdryer.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=26092&in_page_id=2

[Beagle 2]

Ah ITV news... "Heather Mills says she'd literally rather have all her limbs chopped off than go through what she's going through..." [cut to awkwardly walking gentleman in clothes that don't seem to hang quite right] Ray Evans knows what it's like to have all his limbs chopped off.. "I am shocked and appalled that Miss Mills....".

Visions of ITV researcher googling for "man London area limbs removed available interview" .

[Tits McGee]

Ray Evans knows what it's like to have all his limbs chopped off.

Did he say how they were chopped off? Did his wife get drunk and mistake him for a bush?