Topic: Good old Mr. Patel...

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I am Mr Barkus friend from his local shop. I have just had to break into his flat, he was screaming and throwing his goods out of the window. I see from his computer that he has recently been in contact with this website and that you have been asking him many dirty questions. I think this is what has pushed him over the edge. He is not a well man. He is under the impression that he used to work in the theatre and that in some sense he is cultured. Much as I feel protective towards him neither of these things is the case. Presently he is half 'blacked up' as he lies in his pants with his head wedged down the back of his sofa. He is very, very drunk indeed and I would ask you not to provoke him further. Thank you.

Come again?

[Aubrey Barkus]

Don't listen to him, he's unbalanced.  I've heard his speculation about my past before.  Of course I was in the theatre.  He's just jealous.  Fuck- internet cafe hour almost up and I don't have another pound.   On the run!  Bonnie and Clyde!  Except the Bonnie to my Clyde is a silver Ford Mondeo.  
Christ, my legs hurt.