Ouija Board, Ouija Board....

[Totem Hokum]

I've sometimes wondered whether ghosts watch me when I wank.

the thought has never stopped me though.

Heh, any old ghosts? Or the spirits of dead relatives watching disapprovingly?

[Brutus Beefcake]

Some people would argue there's a distinction between "discredit" and "prove that the effect can be faked." The whole thing is nonsense, however.

But since we know that it can be faked it is safe to assume that it is always fake untill someone proves otherwise.

[ziggy starbucks]

I've sometimes wondered whether ghosts watch me when I wank.

the thought has never stopped me though.

Heh, any old ghosts? Or the spirits of dead relatives watching disapprovingly?

I love the idea that my dad is sitting on a cloud in heaven, free from the ravages of cancer, with his old friends and family, watching me furiously masturbate.

its very reassuring

[Brutus Beefcake]

Even though I know it's just a made-up urban legend in a movie, nothing will ever possess me to say "Candyman" five times in front of a mirror.

I just did it (and "Bloody Mary") in a locked bathroom with the light off and nothing happeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[mothman]

Some people would argue there's a distinction between "discredit" and "prove that the effect can be faked." The whole thing is nonsense, however.

But since we know that it can be faked it is safe to assume that it is always fake untill someone proves otherwise.

I guess. After all, I remember seeing on TV when two of the crop-circle fakers were out with a camera crew in the middle of the night to show how they faked crop circles - and they had to do it stealthily to avoid crop circle True Believers who were out in force to stop them proving it could be faked at all!

[ziggy starbucks]

true story,

at school some time ago, I was in the bog cubicle when some (what sounded like) first year kids came into the toilet. They obviously didn't know I was in there, and giggling like first years do they said candyman five times into the mirror and then legged it.

As I was sitting there, I initially started to laugh but then realised that I was in a very vulnerable position should the candyman appear. Bastards.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

You should have pretended to be the Candyman. Really mess them up for life.

[mothman]

Ha, one time when it was shown on TV, the next day at work some secretaries were talking about it, I was there looking at one of their PCs, and to attract her attention I started going "Hhhhheelllleeennnn. . .  Hhhhheelllleeennnn. . . " (her name). Cue much freaking out.

[Purple Tentacle]

That's why I spend most of my weekends blacked up and hiding in toilet cubicles, waiting for someone to try that very same thing.

[ziggy starbucks]

You should have pretended to be the Candyman. Really mess them up for life.

damn, you're right. I should have released some terrible primal scream after the 5th candyman, together with a equally terrible stinky fart. Then started banging on the door.

I'll never get the opportunity again.

[Cerys]

We all hear about those people who're a bit unstable who have a hard time with it. That's the scariest part for me, the potential for someone who's on the edge to fuck themselves up by getting too into it.

That's the problem I have with it.  I notice that people keep referring to 'playing' with a Ouija board, but I reckon that's on a par with 'playing' with matches.  Yes, it's all a bit of a laugh - until someone freaks out (or catches fire, heh).  Mind you, in my experience of the occult (which is admittedly not particularly extensive), the people who get freaked out are generally the naysayers who've been scoffing about the whole thing.  I remember doing a load of Tarot readings in the Sixth Form common room one afternoon.  One twat was hanging about saying, 'oh, it's all a pile of shit, don't believe it, it's rubbish', and generally being a fuckwit.  That was until someone persuaded him to submit to a reading.  He did.  The first card I drew for the spread was Death.  I've never seen anyone go quite that shade of grey.  Hah!  With Tarot, though, it's easier to conceal what the cards have to 'say', unlike Ouija, in which it's there for all to see.

I suppose to a certain extent it's like narcotics.  You can have people taking substance after substance with little or no bad reaction - and then one person who is physically or mentally susceptible drops half an acid tab and end up in therapy two weeks later.

[Brutus Beefcake]

That's the problem I have with it.  I notice that people keep referring to 'playing' with a Ouija board, but I reckon that's on a par with 'playing' with matches.

But matches produce fire which is genuinely dangerous, where as a ouija board is nothing more than an amusing parlour trick.

[Cerys]

In a sense, yes - but only if the people using it aren't likely to get the screaming heebie-jeebies when the board 'tells' them when they're going to die.  (This happened to a girl my mum knew when a group of them were messing about with a board, and illustrates my point.)

[Brutus Beefcake]

That's not a problem with ouija boards though, it's a problem in their own fragile psyche.

[Cerys]

I agree, which is pretty much what I was trying to get across in my main post.

[Brutus Beefcake]

Fair enough then, good to know we're on the same page*.




*Of the Necronomicon! WOOOOOOO!

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

You should have pretended to be the Candyman. Really mess them up for life.

damn, you're right. I should have released some terrible primal scream after the 5th candyman

Like Give Out But Don't Give Up or Riot City Blues?

[23 Daves]

One thing I don't understand is that if there are supposedly all these spirits out there, why are they so dull and serious about everything? If I was a spirit and I could control a ouija board, I'd get it to say all kinds of rubbish.

"Never shop at Tesco, it is shit.".

I think one of them did tell us a joke once, but it must have been a bit shit, because I can't remember it.  We did try to have very general conversations with them, and some seemed interested, others weren't.  I can distinctly remember being very apprehensive about talking to one particular spirit that seemed to be very pro-Tory.

I wonder what would happen if you tried to talk to the spirit of Tommy Cooper?  No doubt something amusing would happen to the glass like it would... erm... topple over or something.

I think the issue here isn't that the ghosts are serious as such, but that the people using the board are thinking to themselves: "Shit! I'm talking to a dead person who can see the future!  I'd better ask him some important questions about my fate!".  And then the spirit says: "In 2006 you will ask some randoms on the internet about VAKI".

[Brutus Beefcake]

I wonder what would happen if you tried to talk to the spirit of Tommy Cooper?  No doubt something amusing would happen to the glass like it would... erm... topple over or something.

A bottle would come out from under it!

[Marv Orange]

Can't believe I forgot this anecdote when I was listing the wierd shit I noticed while using a board. I have witnessed a possesion!

Basically what happened was we were messing about then someone asked can you posses someone (they went all cold if i remember rightly). Board answered yes. There was a moth pissing about in the room around the ceiling light. SO i told the baord to posses the moth then and prove it. The moth stopped fluttering around the light and made a bee/moth line for my head.

If that story didn't strike fear in to you heart I don't know what will. Think of the implications, spirits exsist, they are capable fo possesing small insects THERE IS NO GOD!

[23 Daves]

Next time I have a cockroach infestation I shan't bother ringing Rentokil, then.

The financial savings are also immense!