Author Topic: Dilemmas  (Read 3234 times)

Tom Rad

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Dilemmas
« on: February 03, 2004, 11:23:08 PM »
I did start this thread before the site problems, but let’s have another go...

You know those dilemmas you encounter your daily life, awkward situations where you are not quite sure how to behave? Here are a couple of my recent ones:

1) You get on a train that’s quite full so that there are no double seats free, meaning that you have to sit next to a stranger. Then a couple of stops later some people get off and the train empties so that there is now a free double seat. Is it more polite to move to the free double seat or to stay sitting where you are, next to the stranger? If I move, the stranger might think that I think that they smell or are just too ugly to sit next to. If I stay sitting next to the stranger, they’ll start to wonder why I would prefer to sit next to them – do I fancy them or something? On the last occasion I stayed where I was but I felt very awkward.

2) A few weeks ago I had an appointment with a nurse for my cervical smear test*. So I was faced with this dilemma: if a medical professional asks you to strip from the waist down for an examination, do you take your socks off or not? Wearing nothing but your socks is of course a serious bedroom faux pas, but this was not meant to be a sexy situation. The nurse was really not interested in seeing my feet. But I still took my socks off, although I did feel kind of silly.

Are you ever faced with similar dilemmas? Or what would you have done in these or similar situations?


 *Yes, that’s right. As you’ve figured out from the meet pictures, I am a girl, so I do have one of them fanny things.

Dilemmas
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2004, 11:28:06 PM »
Christ I'm glad I forgot it was you who started this thread before I met you, otherwise there would have been some very unsavoury images flying around my head all night.


You've given RatsCocks a monging gift on a plate.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Dilemmas
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2004, 11:30:11 PM »
Woah, I'm in an episode of Seinfeld!

1) Whenever a group of people my age get on the train with me when I'm my own I feel like I'm about to die. I can feel them looking at me and laughing. Argh! It makes me sick. Also, they're always such disruptive, loud, cunts and it makes me wish I was an age where I wasn't associated with those types.

2) I can't urinate in sight of other men unless I am very very very drunk. That's quite an extreme bugbear of mine because it's very embarrassing if some other people are in the toilets and they see you go into the cubicles because you can imagine them wondering what you're up to.

Smackhead Kangaroo

  • Losing is always an option
Dilemmas
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2004, 11:37:49 PM »
Yes well these are hardly ona par with whether you should switch tracks to save the baby or let the train kill the tramp are they>?

I wish I had more to say but it's all rather obvious isn't it?

Dilemmas
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2004, 11:42:19 PM »
Quote from: "imitationleather"
Woah, I'm in an episode of Seinfeld!

2) I can't urinate in sight of other men unless I am very very very drunk. That's quite an extreme bugbear of mine because it's very embarrassing if some other people are in the toilets and they see you go into the cubicles because you can imagine them wondering what you're up to.


a) What's the problem, no one looks at each others penises unless they ARE very very drunk, this reminds me of a time when both I and another fellow (a stranger) in the toilet were very very drunk and showed each other our penises after he asked if his was any good. It was quite funny.

b)If you go in the cubicle and lock it they will assume that you're taking cocaine which is COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Dilemmas
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2004, 11:47:56 PM »
Those are the words of someone not afflicted by this terrible disability.

fanny splendid

  • Chaos Reigns
Dilemmas
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2004, 11:51:01 PM »
If I am forced to use a cubicle instead of a urinal, I like to let my very long hair down and pull it around my face and shoulders, so that upon leaving the cubicle I am forced to extravagantly comb it with my fingers and tie it back in a pony tail.

This works well when using my hello kitty scrunchie...

"hello boys!"

Keep your socks on. I do. When in the bedroom anyway, I don't have smear tests. That's what long term relationships and cold mornings/afternoons/nights do for you. I save sock removal for valentine's day, or other suitably romantic occasions. That's how you can tell.

Dilemmas
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2004, 12:25:56 AM »
Quote from: "imitationleather"


2) I can't urinate in sight of other men unless I am very very very drunk. That's quite an extreme bugbear of mine because it's very embarrassing if some other people are in the toilets and they see you go into the cubicles because you can imagine them wondering what you're up to.


If you are really worried what they'll think just remember the handy excuse that you have a powerful stream and wish to avoid splashback.

Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2004, 12:29:30 AM »
Quote from: "Tom Rad"


1) You get on a train that’s quite full so that there are no double seats free, meaning that you have to sit next to a stranger. Then a couple of stops later some people get off and the train empties so that there is now a free double seat.  


Get off the train at a stop and get back on. Sit at the double seat. (or in a whole new section where thar be double seats galore). The stranger probobly won't realise and you will have a nice double seat to your self.

* This may not work on buses and coaches.

Space ghost

  • The manay, joost the manay
Dilemmas
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2004, 12:32:08 AM »
I actually have a dilema.There is a woman where I work,a very nice woman.A really nice American woman.She's pretty,a bit older than me, very sexy,intelligent,funny,all of that lot.And I fancy her  ( I know its wrong ) and I hope she likes me too.But heres the catch,over the course of trying to chat her up I may have talked up my decorating and home improvement skill a little too much.As a result she now wants me to decorate her flat in preparation for putting on the market.Fuck.I know nothing about painting or decorating or any of that stuff.But I get too go round her flat.I reckon that she might harbour a soft spot for me too.In fact I'm allmost certain but not quite.So I could just go round there anyway,hope for the best and wear my lucky pants and then laugh all about the "decorating" incident with her two months down the line or go round there and have her,well,find out how much of a prick I am.Or try and blag with some internet painting masterclass if one of those exists.please?

Dilemmas
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2004, 12:34:35 AM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
I actually have a dilema...


Why not practise on your own house/flat? That way, you could make sure you could do a half decent job, and get a refurbished house. Everyone's a winner babe.

Space ghost

  • The manay, joost the manay
Dilemmas
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2004, 12:39:25 AM »
Carol? is that you?

Dilemmas
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2004, 12:46:30 AM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
Carol? is that you?




Hi, sexy

Dilemmas
« Reply #13 on: February 04, 2004, 12:53:34 AM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
Carol? is that you?


Heh, reminds me of Wife Swap :)

CAROL!!!!!

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #14 on: February 04, 2004, 12:53:39 AM »
Quote from: "imitationleather"
2) I can't urinate in sight of other men unless I am very very very drunk. That's quite an extreme bugbear of mine because it's very embarrassing if some other people are in the toilets and they see you go into the cubicles because you can imagine them wondering what you're up to.


Not only that...

Recenetly I was hoving over the bowl at home, unit firmly in hand... I could feel the fluid begin to come forth, and then - from outside - the sound of two teenage girls giggling. There was no way it was out to do with me - you're invisible in my bathroom etc, but that was it. Back into the bladder it went, and no slash for Frink.

I know how pathetic this is. I do. I really do.

One thing that helps me pee in public is

a) Be really, really desperate to go

b) Think of my girlfriend (or used to, at the time). Plant a few nice (read: bad) in there to keep my mind occupied and it all comes out (silence). I'm not sure I should have just admitted that, or if thats normal, but there you go.

Dilemmas
« Reply #15 on: February 04, 2004, 12:55:38 AM »
Quote from: "Frinky"
b) Think of my girlfriend (or used to, at the time). Plant a few nice (read: bad) in there to keep my mind occupied and it all comes out (silence). I'm not sure I should have just admitted that, or if thats normal, but there you go.


No, you shouldn't have admitted that. Does she know this - and would she be flattered?

"Darling, I can only piss when I think of you..."

Space ghost

  • The manay, joost the manay
Dilemmas
« Reply #16 on: February 04, 2004, 12:56:18 AM »
That is uncanny,she does  looks a bit like a younger Carol Vordo.I'm gonna be the king of jokes in the office tommorow.....

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2004, 12:57:13 AM »
Oh, and think of your own girlfriend, not mine.

Well, she's not mine anymore, so it doesn't matter.


And if you live within 500 miles of Chester, you've probably had her anyway, dirty slag.


Sorry.

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #18 on: February 04, 2004, 12:58:17 AM »
Quote from: "butnut"
No, you shouldn't have admitted that. Does she know this - and would she be flattered?

"Darling, I can only piss when I think of you..."


Yes, the first one was. I kept it to myself after that.

Dilemmas
« Reply #19 on: February 04, 2004, 12:59:23 AM »
Quote from: "Frinky"
I kept it to myself after that.


Best kept that way old chap.

Tom Rad

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Dilemmas
« Reply #20 on: February 04, 2004, 12:08:15 PM »
Quote from: "Purple Tentacle"
Christ I'm glad I forgot it was you who started this thread before I met you, otherwise there would have been some very unsavoury images flying around my head all night.


You've given RatsCocks a monging gift on a plate.


Dear oh dear...

Dilemmas
« Reply #21 on: February 04, 2004, 12:30:21 PM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
I actually have a dilema.There is a woman where I work,a very nice woman.A really nice American woman.She's pretty,a bit older than me, very sexy,intelligent,funny,all of that lot.And I fancy her  ( I know its wrong ) and I hope she likes me too.But heres the catch,over the course of trying to chat her up I may have talked up my decorating and home improvement skill a little too much.As a result she now wants me to decorate her flat in preparation for putting on the market.Fuck.I know nothing about painting or decorating or any of that stuff.But I get too go round her flat.I reckon that she might harbour a soft spot for me too.In fact I'm allmost certain but not quite.So I could just go round there anyway,hope for the best and wear my lucky pants and then laugh all about the "decorating" incident with her two months down the line or go round there and have her,well,find out how much of a prick I am.Or try and blag with some internet painting masterclass if one of those exists.please?


You never know, this could just be her little 'excuse' to get you round. I can see it now, you're there painting her walls and she comes over to inspect. You playfully flick paint on to her face while she giggles and blushes, then romantically scrub it off with Turps and wire-wool by candlelight, staring into each others eyes. The stuff of fairytales!

I'm going to take this opportunity to come out of the closet: I also suffer from an acute difficulty pissing when in sonic range of other people.

Johnny Yesno

  • You've been exploding frogs again
    • Lines Horizontal
Dilemmas
« Reply #22 on: February 04, 2004, 01:30:17 PM »
I never know what to do if I'm having a conversation at work with someone and then someone else they know but I don't comes up and starts talking to them, especially if their conversation doesn't look like ending soon. Do I:

(a) sidle off, mouthing farewell phrases  and nodding like an idiot irrespective of whether they notice or not (my usual strategy)?

(b) interrupt their conversation by turning to the newcomer and saying "Hey ugly, can't this chat about company strategy wait? We were talking about records till you cut in"?

Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #23 on: February 04, 2004, 01:44:07 PM »
Quote from: "Tom Rad"

 Wearing nothing but your socks is of course a serious bedroom faux pas...


I've never understood this.  The theory is that you can tell if a sexual partner has real feelings for you (or not) by whether he takes his socks off (or not). I'm not sure it's a genuine metric, to be honest. I mean, there are situations where it would be desirable to convey the idea that you have more of an emotional attachment to your potential sexual partner than you actually do, and in these circumstances I'd be prepared to bet that unscrupulous men are easily cunning enough to remove their socks as a kind of counterfeit assurance of tenderness. It is, after all, a small effort to make if you're getting a shag in exchange - a shag under false pretenses at that - and they're highly prized, I understand.

Dilemmas
« Reply #24 on: February 04, 2004, 01:46:05 PM »
I used to suffer from the pisser problem for a short while, and then it just went away for no apparant reason and has never come back. I hope this helps.

Space ghost

  • The manay, joost the manay
Dilemmas
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2004, 02:24:09 PM »
Hopefully it does help them but what am I going to do about painting this birds flat? help me out here,please



I'm serious.

Ambient Sheep

  • Not long now
Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2004, 03:14:40 PM »
Quote from: "Tom Rad"
1) You get on a train that’s quite full so that there are no double seats free, meaning that you have to sit next to a stranger...Is it more polite to move to the free double seat or to stay sitting where you are, next to the stranger? If I move, the stranger might think that I think that they smell or are just too ugly to sit next to. If I stay sitting next to the stranger, they’ll start to wonder why I would prefer to sit next to them – do I fancy them or something?

Yes, yes, I rarely travel by train anymore, but when I used to I had this problem all the time.  I can sympathise, but I don't know the answer either.  It used to partly depend on just how squashed we were - if we were both fairly comfortable then I would tend to stay put, but if we were both having to sit bolt upright then I would tend to move.

I was a lot thinner in those days, before anybody says anything.

Quote
Wearing nothing but your socks is of course a serious bedroom faux pas...

Only for blokes, surely?  I think women look sexy in just their socks (with panties and vest / bra optional), but then that might just be me... <blush>

Quote
But I still took my socks off, although I did feel kind of silly.

Although obviously never been in that exact situation myself, I can understand that one, it's a very similar social thing, really.  But I would probably have kept my socks on for that one.

Quote
Are you ever faced with similar dilemmas?

Yes, but no others that I can think of at the moment, sorry, although I'm sure they exist...

Tom Rad

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Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #27 on: February 04, 2004, 03:27:22 PM »
Quote from: "jutl"
Quote from: "Tom Rad"

 Wearing nothing but your socks is of course a serious bedroom faux pas...


I've never understood this.  The theory is that you can tell if a sexual partner has real feelings for you (or not) by whether he takes his socks off (or not). I'm not sure it's a genuine metric, to be honest. I mean, there are situations where it would be desirable to convey the idea that you have more of an emotional attachment to your potential sexual partner than you actually do, and in these circumstances I'd be prepared to bet that unscrupulous men are easily cunning enough to remove their socks as a kind of counterfeit assurance of tenderness. It is, after all, a small effort to make if you're getting a shag in exchange - a shag under false pretenses at that - and they're highly prized, I understand.


Is that what the socks (or no socks) in the bedroom thing is meant to be? I never understood it to be a measure of the feelings of your partner. I just think it's such a turn-off. It looks stupid, standing (or lying) there with your arse bare and your bits hanging out but with your feet tucked safely in socks. Just take it all off, I say. And yes, this applies to both men and women, but that's just my opinion.

Ambient Sheep

  • Not long now
Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #28 on: February 04, 2004, 03:36:44 PM »
Quote from: "Tom Rad"
Quote from: "jutl"
I've never understood this.  The theory is that you can tell if a sexual partner has real feelings for you (or not) by whether he takes his socks off (or not)...

Is that what the socks (or no socks) in the bedroom thing is meant to be? I never understood it to be a measure of the feelings of your partner. I just think it's such a turn-off. It looks stupid, standing (or lying) there with your arse bare and your bits hanging out but with your feet tucked safely in socks.

I agree - I didn't think it was any kind of "official" measurement, it just looks crap and stupid (on men, anyway <smile>) and implies that they can't be bothered to fully undress before getting on with it.

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #29 on: February 04, 2004, 03:37:32 PM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
Hopefully it does help them but what am I going to do about painting this birds flat? help me out here,please



I'm serious.


DIY is generally a piece of piss. Watch a few home fronts, scour the net, borrow a book. If you can speak the speak, you're sorted.

Where you're not sorted is that if you're such a DIY MASTER then she's gonna expect you to have a load of relevant tools. This could be expensive in order just to impresse and American Filly (less you take up DIY for real). You could say you rent your tools, which might work, but, neh... A professional uses his tools. You could feign a concussion with convienient memory loss, that might buy you some time. You could slip a staff memeber at BnQ a tenner so that he makes you look really knowledgable when you go shopping for stuff with her?

Besides, if she's doing it up for sale, she's hardly gonna want much special done, is she? Plain stuff. You can probably, just about, nearly, almost blag this one if you really have to do it.

If not, you're stuffed, and you're gonna look a right knobend.