Author Topic: Dilemmas  (Read 3332 times)

Dilemmas
« Reply #30 on: February 04, 2004, 03:52:33 PM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
over the course of trying to chat her up I may have talked up my decorating and home improvement skill a little too much.As a result she now wants me to decorate her flat in preparation for putting on the market.
I suspect the lady already knows what a knob-end you are. However, I have a helpful piece of practical advice; invest in a tape measure, go round to her flat and take some spurious measurements, stand shaking your head and tutting for a few minutes and then say...'Five hundred quid, love. But I am willing to negotiate.'

Dilemmas
« Reply #31 on: February 04, 2004, 03:52:50 PM »
Deliberately break your arm, and say that you would struggle to be able to do a good job for her, but that it would be good if you could pop round to see what needs to be done and that you might know a friend who could do it instead. Then you know whether it was an excuse to get you round or just a request for DIY work.

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #32 on: February 04, 2004, 04:07:36 PM »
Jebus, if he's gonna break his arm he needs to milk it a bit more than that. Tell her of course you'll do the best you can, didn't want to let her down, etc. Go there, and start, make a slightly sloppy job of it so she politely tells you to stop. Offer helpful ideas without sounding arrogant, try to fetch things for her/help out as much as you can and apologise for the invoncienience - chivarly is nearly dead, and maybe decent American women love it (especially the British brand) - so you could be onto a winner there.

Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #33 on: February 04, 2004, 04:14:07 PM »
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"
Quote from: "Tom Rad"
Quote from: "jutl"
I've never understood this.  The theory is that you can tell if a sexual partner has real feelings for you (or not) by whether he takes his socks off (or not)...

Is that what the socks (or no socks) in the bedroom thing is meant to be? I never understood it to be a measure of the feelings of your partner. I just think it's such a turn-off. It looks stupid, standing (or lying) there with your arse bare and your bits hanging out but with your feet tucked safely in socks.

I agree - I didn't think it was any kind of "official" measurement, it just looks crap and stupid (on men, anyway <smile>) and implies that they can't be bothered to fully undress before getting on with it.


But doesn't that imply a healthy desire to crack on with it? I think this association of be-socked nakedness with awkwardness are entirely cultural. I would imagine that in other cultures it could easily be considered very sexy for a partner to leave their socks on - even keep their slippers on - as long as they weren't those backless kind - they would tend to fly off and damage ornaments, I would imagine. I reject these cultural trappings - sex is non-cultural if you ask me - and if you wouldn't screw your partner if they were wearing only a musty sack then you don't really fancy them.

MojoJojo

  • Member
  • **
  • Between a cow college and a MetaLab.
Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #34 on: February 04, 2004, 05:01:02 PM »
Quote from: "jutl"

I agree - I didn't think it was any kind of "official" measurement, it just looks crap and stupid (on men, anyway <smile>) and implies that they can't be bothered to fully undress before getting on with it.


But doesn't that imply a healthy desire to crack on with it? I think this association of be-socked nakedness with awkwardness are entirely cultural. [/quote]

I imagine Eskimos keep their socks.

Dilemmas
« Reply #35 on: February 04, 2004, 06:41:20 PM »
Quote from: "butnut"
Quote from: "Frinky"
b) Think of my girlfriend (or used to, at the time).
Plant a few nice (read: bad) in there to keep my mind occupied and it all comes out (silence).
I'm not sure I should have just admitted that, or if thats normal, but there you go.

No, you shouldn't have admitted that.

He gets that from me though, so it's not his fault etc

As for your problem, Space ghost, just stand about looking manly and if she's really interested,
she'll do it herself and allow you to imagine it was all your own work.
That's how it works with me and Mrs SurferGhost, anyways.

The wearing socks thing?
I've never done that, I like to look pristine me and treat a girl nice,
but it can be quite sexy on a lady so long as they're fresh (socks AND lady).

Ambient Sheep

  • A boy who was tangled in his life forever
Dilemmas
« Reply #36 on: February 04, 2004, 06:49:41 PM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
but it can be quite sexy on a lady so long as they're fresh (socks AND lady).

That's suddenly reminded me of that site that someone on here linked to a while back, where some guy has loads of photos of (clothed) girls with muddy white socks, remember?  I've just tried to find it through Google but to no avail...

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #37 on: February 04, 2004, 06:53:00 PM »
Sheepy: Must Try Harder. C-.

http://www.mistersock.com/dirty.html

Edit, well, thats one... It wont take long to find more, if that's your sort of thing :P

Dilemmas
« Reply #38 on: February 04, 2004, 06:57:26 PM »
Eeeeuuurghhh.

Er, not that I've looked or owt like.

Vermschneid Mehearties

  • phpBB A lesson in quantity over quality
    • http://www.theenoeffect.tk
Dilemmas
« Reply #39 on: February 04, 2004, 07:02:42 PM »
Shirt-socks-trousers-kegs is the polite bedroom etiquette, or so some stupid fat slag on the internet has just told me. Can't be wrong.

I imagine only wearing sunglasses looks more ridiculous than only wearing socks.

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #40 on: February 04, 2004, 08:08:48 PM »
I had no idea it was such a faux pas. After all this time. Fucks sake.

Ambient Sheep

  • A boy who was tangled in his life forever
Dilemmas
« Reply #41 on: February 04, 2004, 08:15:15 PM »
Quote from: "Frinky"
Sheepy: Must Try Harder. C-.
http://www.mistersock.com/dirty.html

No.  *You* must try harder!  :-)  That's not the site at all.  This wasn't some porn site (as that was), it was just some normal(-ish!) bloke's homepage with some piccies of some of his female mates walking through puddles for him, fully clothed apart from their shoes.  It was quite sweet really.

The problem I had when I searched in Google was that I found tons of porn sites full of nakedness like the one above, but not this particular one I was talking about.

Quote
It wont take long to find more, if that's your sort of thing :P

Euuuuuuggggghhhh!  Well it's odd, actually.  I'm one of those people who doesn't like feet, not my sort of thing, and the idea of foot fetishes or toe-sucking is quite frankly...<shudders>.  But when I saw this site with the muddy socks, I really thought it was sweet, if not particularly erotic.

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #42 on: February 04, 2004, 08:20:21 PM »
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"
But when I saw this site with the muddy socks, I really thought it was sweet, if not particularly erotic.


How so? Even I find that a little strange. I don't actually recall the site in question, must never have seen it. How do you explain that to your mates? "Yeah, I just wanna photo you..."

Ambient Sheep

  • A boy who was tangled in his life forever
Dilemmas
« Reply #43 on: February 04, 2004, 08:28:58 PM »
Quote from: "Frinky"
Quote from: "Ambient Sheep"
But when I saw this site with the muddy socks, I really thought it was sweet, if not particularly erotic.

How so? Even I find that a little strange.

Yeah, I was slightly surprised by my own reaction actually.  Why should I find girls in muddy white socks cuter than usual?  I don't know, but I did.  Not massively, and not in a masturbatory way (honest, I'd say so otherwise, the very fact that I haven't got the URL or pages stashed away on my hard drive goes to prove that), but it was interesting.

Quote
I don't actually recall the site in question, must never have seen it. How do you explain that to your mates? "Yeah, I just wanna photo you..."

I know, I was surprised at how accomodating they seemed to be myself.  One got the impression they were just doing it "for a laugh" and in order to humour him.  Or maybe he just made up some massive lie about it being a college art project or something.  He did touch on this on his site, but I can no longer remember.

In one case it was just some girl he met in a park and persuaded to pose for him.  Must have been in the States, people over here would be too inhibited and/or ring the Daily Mail and have him arrested.

I'm really going to have to go out there and find this damn site now, aren't I?

Frinky

  • Enormous chip on shoulder stemming from insurmountable superiority complex
Dilemmas
« Reply #44 on: February 04, 2004, 08:35:12 PM »
It'd probably put all our minds at rest if you did.

What you're saying makes a bit of sense, actually, yeah. I just find it odd that anyone would happilly pose for that. It's the kind of thing Morris should try on the public...

Ambient Sheep

  • A boy who was tangled in his life forever
Dilemmas
« Reply #45 on: February 04, 2004, 09:01:22 PM »
Well I've been looking for over half an hour now, and my eyes are starting to hurt.  No luck.  I'm almost certain I was linked to it from CaB, so if anyone reading this did take a note of it and is too embarrassed to say so (why, no need?), you could always PM it to me, I won't tell, honest!

Mind you I did find the following.  Not the same thing at all, but it's amazing what people will pay for.
Do you like to see girls in sneakers trying to get their car started?
(no pictures, worksafe, although the concept and for that matter the URL will probably raise eyebrows in your local IT department)

Dilemmas
« Reply #46 on: February 05, 2004, 01:30:56 AM »
Sheepy, I remember seeing that site. It was ages ago wasn't it? Sadly, that was on an old, dead computer, so I can't link you to it. The site was rather odd, but showed a bit more imagination than all those nude in the woods sites that are around.

I just wanted people to know that you weren't making the whole thing up.

Dilemmas
« Reply #47 on: February 05, 2004, 01:51:15 AM »
socks are allowed only in the context of clothed sex; when her skirt's up round her waist, your trousers are only halfway down, and her parents are downstairs watching The Weakest Link


otherwise socks just look silly.

JesusAndYourBush

  • Earnest silky coconut shell
    • http://www.google.com
Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #48 on: February 05, 2004, 04:41:51 AM »
Quote from: "Tom Rad"
1) You get on a train that’s quite full so that there are no double seats free, meaning that you have to sit next to a stranger...Is it more polite to move to the free double seat or to stay sitting where you are, next to the stranger? If I move, the stranger might think that I think that they smell or are just too ugly to sit next to. If I stay sitting next to the stranger, they’ll start to wonder why I would prefer to sit next to them – do I fancy them or something?

Move to another seat, but within visible distance of the other person, then take out a newspaper (broadsheet preferably) and read it.  The newspaper is the width of both seats y'see, and they won't be offended cos you were polite enough not to attempt to read a big bastard newspaper while sitting next to them.

Cerys

  • Bionic-Arsed
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Cyber Engineered Ravaged Yakking System
    • The Brainwrongs of Cerys
Dilemmas
« Reply #49 on: February 05, 2004, 04:49:41 AM »
Quote from: "Space ghost"
Hopefully it does help them but what am I going to do about painting this birds flat? help me out here,please


Come clean.  Tell her that while you're still quite happy to help her, you only said you could do it because you fancy her like crazy, and your mouth ran away with you.  With any luck she'll think 'aw, sweet, just like on the telly', and fall into your arms.  And if she doesn't, at least you're not left in the middle of a paint-spattered room, wondering how you're going to break it to her about the budgie.  Or something.

Dilemmas
« Reply #50 on: February 05, 2004, 04:57:21 AM »
Space ghost, here you go.

Glossing - avoid.  Bastard to prepare for, dust gets everywhere.  Persuede here to go around the skirtingboards with a sponge and some Jif.  If you must, sand down with rough paper over a block, wash down, let it dry, then one blast with a self-undercaoting gloss.  Decent brushes will help here - they won't lose their bristles as you paint.

Emulsion - piece of piss.  Get some pads, not rollers, and a tray.  Do the edges first, then fill in.  Two coats should do it, and if she's selling the place, go for neutrals.  

Paper hanging - don't touch it.  Say you've lent your ladders to a mate, or something.  You'll look a tit.

Generally - milk her for as much tea as possible.  She should also get the pub lunch in.  Take a radio.  Plus, you can never have too many rags or kitchen roll.  You'll thank me for this, and so will she when it means you won't have to wipe your knob on her curtains.

Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #51 on: February 05, 2004, 05:22:46 AM »
Quote from: "Tom Rad"
Is that what the socks (or no socks) in the bedroom thing is meant to be? I never understood it to be a measure of the feelings of your partner. I just think it's such a turn-off. It looks stupid, standing (or lying) there with your arse bare and your bits hanging out but with your feet tucked safely in socks. Just take it all off, I say. And yes, this applies to both men and women, but that's just my opinion.


I like the socks on in bed thing, especially in winter brrrr I keep mine on.

Wouldn't it be bizarre if they did a special "socks for two" that a couple could wear in bed, hehe although rushing off to answer the phone/door could be tricky if you were both 'socked up'.

And errrr getting back to the original topic...

Quote from: "Tom Rad"
1) You get on a train that’s quite full so that there are no double seats free, meaning that you have to sit next to a stranger. Then a couple of stops later some people get off and the train empties so that there is now a free double seat. Is it more polite to move to the free double seat or to stay sitting where you are, next to the stranger? If I move, the stranger might think that I think that they smell or are just too ugly to sit next to. If I stay sitting next to the stranger, they’ll start to wonder why I would prefer to sit next to them – do I fancy them or something? On the last occasion I stayed where I was but I felt very awkward.


Instead of first sitting down, don't.

Simply stand by the luggage rack, glancing up and down both ways, until you spy a suitable seat.

Sort of on subject, but with buses - I used to have a paranoia of being sat on a bus (window seat) and having nobody sat next to me, until say 5 or 6 stops before I would get off.  Then someone would get on, and make a b-line for the seat next to me.  By this time, in my head I'd be running several scenarios - what will I say, and when, very silly really as all I'd need say would have been "excuse me, it's my stop next" and they'd shift in order to let me out, but no, in my mind, I'd often think "what if they don't move, what if they kick off and block me in, then I'll be stuck on here with them, having missed my stop, and have to walk back from stupid-place-bus-stop?".

Jesus, I'd drive myself mad with thoughts like that.

Maybe I should be saving all this for therapy sessions?!

Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #52 on: February 05, 2004, 05:28:17 AM »
Quote from: "blue jammer"
Maybe I should be saving all this for therapy sessions?!


What do you think this forum is, pal?

Re: Dilemmas
« Reply #53 on: February 05, 2004, 05:42:35 PM »
Quote from: "Qatar-wol"
Quote from: "blue jammer"
Maybe I should be saving all this for therapy sessions?!


What do you think this forum is, pal?


Absolutely no idea heh, I came here in search of answers to problems with Vertical Fish and suchlike...

(has horsegun re-registered yet?)

Space ghost

  • The manay, joost the manay
Dilemmas
« Reply #54 on: February 05, 2004, 05:56:22 PM »
Thanks for the suggestions peoples.I think I can pull this one off now,you know.What with Quatar-Wols practicality and frinkys optimismn, paint based love will surely be mine.Hencole I liked your idea but I would never injure myself for sex based reasons.Oh and the other guy who called me a "knobhead" (no bold print name drop for you!) I'm quite sound actually,shame you'll never know.

weekender

  • Member
  • **
Dilemmas
« Reply #55 on: February 05, 2004, 07:46:44 PM »
Have you tried confidently saying "there is now a double seat available, so I shall go and sit in that as it will make us both feel less uncomfortable" line?  I got a phone number off some bird when I said that once, we ended up chatting for about five minutes until I had to get off the bus.

I never called her, she had a moustache, and her luscious breasts couldn't compensate for that.