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March 29, 2024, 12:56:56 AM

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ChaCha Search

Started by Al Tha Funkee Homosapien, December 06, 2006, 12:40:41 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

A new search engine called ChacCha except with this one you can get someone to do the searching for you and ask them ludicrous questions. It's odd.

Bernard

I simply can't find a pair of men's black Levi jeans with this cool red thread running vertically down one leg!

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DeniseE
DeniseE: Welcome to ChaCha!
DeniseE: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Thanks DeniseE.
DeniseE: Your search string is too long...Levis for men with a red ... that's all I got
You: OK. With a red thread running vertically down one leg.
You: The actual jeans are black.
DeniseE: Okay, let me see what I can find.
You: They look very cool you know!
DeniseE: Yes, I can imagine :)
You: :)
DeniseE: Okay look at this pair..you cant see red in the pic, but read the description
You: OK. Hang on....
You: Unfortunately not those two.
You: But thanks anyway.
DeniseE: let me keep checking
You: I saw them in a shop a couple weeks ago.
You: The actual jeans are black.
DeniseE: lets not give up too quickly
DeniseE: okay..hang ong
You: Good attitude.
You: If you can't fin them it's not your fault. I can't find them in cyberspace either.
DeniseE: I hate not being able to find things. If you have an email, I can continue to look and email your results. If you're comfortable with that of course
You: Cool. Well thanks. It's **com . Please don't send other marketing stuff to it or sell it to Satan.
DeniseE: NO...of course not. And you're positive it was a levi product?
You: Yeah.
DeniseE: Okay, I'll get back with you
You: I never used ChaCha before. Do I rate you or something?
DeniseE: yes, as soon as i close this out
You: Okeedokee.
DeniseE: Which i'll do now
DeniseE: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
You: You're swell.
DeniseE: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status:

Neville Chamberlain

What? Are these real people or what??

And the sexual tension is palpable!

Bernard

Yes she seemed real to me. You should'a been there.

Peking O

"I hope you had a great search experience."

That reminds me, I saw the film of Fast Food Nation last night. There's a scene where Greg Kinnear's character is checking out of a hotel and he's being given the whole "thank you for staying with us!" spiel, and he's clearly fed up with it. So he answers the "did you enjoy our stay with us?" question with a "not really" just to see if she's listening, and she simply moves on to the next inane question.

Fast forward an hour or so and I'm leaving the cinema after the film has finished and an employee is standing at the door saying to everyone: "Thanks for coming to AMC, did you enjoy your movie? Thanks for coming to AMC, did you enjoy your movie? Thanks for coming to AMC, did you enjoy your movie?"

Of course, I should have come up with a witty retort, but my  head was swimming with the irony of it all and I just shuffled out in silence.

chav

Hmm, the idea of people "assisting" you with your searches is unpalatable. Reminds me of pushy shoe shop assistants *swats them away with hand* Just leave me alone. I have a brain and can search for things on the internet.

Your first go and it loses to Google immediately - search term too long? Pffft.

That plea of "PLEASE RATE ME" indicates that it's just passing users who give the assistance, thus saving the search company stacks of money. Sounds like that Amazon Turk thing - ID 100 pictures and get a free pen.

MojoJojo

This reminds me of the Adam & Jo thing with the AOL woman

"Well, I want to find pictures of crack whores."

(Badly remembered since not on the DVD)

The ChahCha operators are going to end up more disturbed than the BBFC.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

If you are obscene or inappropriate they ban you and remember your IP address.

jutl

Quote from: "Al Tha Funkee Homosapien"If you are obscene or inappropriate they ban you and remember your IP address.

I assume you mean the search people - that would seem to be counter-productive behaviour from a crack-whore.

Slaaaaabs

Something Awful had a little play with the poor search fairies. Some of them are funny.

http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=4291

The problem I have with it is that people that can't use search engines are probably going to be equally as crap with chatting.

wheatgod

Those somethingawful ones are pretty funny.

chav

Thinking back to the AOL Search Term Debacle, I too hope that the assistants are made of strong stuff. If people are searching for "cow sex" or whatever, why can't they get help on it?

Labian Quest

I don't really understand how they can make money out of this, they do put quite a lot of ads on the page, but I was under the impression that those internet ads only generated fractions of a penny per hit, I don't see how it would generate enough revenue to pay for all these 'guides'. Mind you they do say:

Why should I trust this guide?

The primary reason is that we pay them and their pay is directly related to their performance.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: CrystalG
CrystalG: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello Crystal. What a nice name you have.
CrystalG: Hello, I see you are looking top get blood stains out of carpet.
CrystalG: Thank you.
You: yeah I've tried lots of stuff but I can't seem to get rid of it
You: It's quite a big patch but I just seemed to have smeared it around the place. Up the walls and stuff.
You: any ideas?
CrystalG: Quite a few come to mind :):):)
You: That looks interesting. Any idea of how to do it myself.
You: My cat brought in an animal. A deer or something.
You: Any idea of how to go about getting rid out a carcass?
CrystalG: Where I live we would have taken it to a butcher.
You: I'm a bit squemish around blood and guts.
You: Yeah, I kind of don't want anyone to find out about it.
You: Any idea how much it costs to hire a tree shreader that you could fit a largeish body into?
CrystalG: Here are the sites you requested. Anything else I can help you with?
CrystalG: OOO You can call aminal control.
CrystalG: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

weekender

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: angliav
angliav: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hello
You: how are you?
angliav: Hi, what can I find for you?
angliav: I'm great thanks and you?
You: you might be able to tell me yourself
You: i'm good thanks
You: how do you get paid?
You: why should chacha search pay you money for what i could easily google?
angliav: We get paid per search time spent.
You: who by?
angliav: We get paid by Chacha.
You: do you need to be searching for something right now?
angliav: We get paid because people like yourself keep searching.
You: yeah, but i can use google
You: why should you get paid?
angliav: I get paid for the amount of time spent online it doesn't matter if I send a site or not but the point is to send a site.
You: where does the money come from?
angliav: because you didn't get use google you came to Chacha.
You: you can send me a site about something random then
angliav: There is a get paid with Chacha site.
You: i'm only here out of curiosity, i'm quite happy with google
angliav: Is there anything else I can help you with?
You: where does the money that pays you come from?
angliav: That's great, to each it's own I'm happy with Chacha and the personal touch of it.
angliav: I don't know exactly but I've been paid several times
You: you didn't answer my last question
You: where does the money come from?
You: it makes no sense
angliav: They say it comes from ads and such.
You: surely by educating people about how to use google you could eliminate the need for what you do?
angliav: I'm sure but for right now it's working great and people are enjoying using it.
You: what do you do that's so special?
You: do you google stuff?
angliav: Most people like the thought of speaking with someone and not having to search for things themselves
angliav: No I use the chacha search engine.
You: most people are idiots though
You: why is the chacha search engine better?
angliav: No people just like human interaction.
angliav: It's not to say it's better its different.
You: there is that i suppose
angliav: You have a wonderful day.
angliav: Thanks for searching ChaCha!
angliav: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

ffogems

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: Bobbi A
Bobbi A: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: hey there
Bobbi A: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Thank you
Bobbi A: You are looking for good knock, knock jokes?
You: yes
You: a collection of them
Bobbi A: Sure, one moment please...
You: Well actually, I'm looking more specifically for one particular joke
You: it goes - 'Knock knock'
Bobbi A: Who is there?
You: 'hello. Where do I find a collection of really good knock knock jokes?'
You: I can't remember how it ends though.
Bobbi A: LOL
You: Thanks, I'm done.
Session ended.

I always do shy away from punchlines.

hencole

I can see the womens magazine front covers in a few months time.

'I met the love of my life...Working for Chacha.'

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

As per usual, no one can answer the question "where can I get a Manchester style "indian kebab" in north london?".

I'd be tempted to start a thread on here if I wasn't convinced I'd already done so at some point in the past.

QuoteStatus: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: ChristinaS
ChristinaS: Welcome to ChaCha!
ChristinaS: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hello, where can I get a Manchester style "indian kebab" in north london?
ChristinaS: Just one moment please I am going to transfer you to another guide.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: AlysiaT
AlysiaT: Welcome to ChaCha!
AlysiaT: Hello
You: where can I get a Manchester style "indian kebab" in north london?
You: hello Alysia
AlysiaT: Id be happy to search that for you.
AlysiaT: Just a moment please.
You: that's very kind of you
AlysiaT: I can find a manchester style indian kebab but I cant locate one in london?
AlysiaT: Let me try something else-please.:)
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: KIMISHAY
KIMISHAY: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: where can I get a Manchester style "indian kebab" in north london?
You: hello MIKISHAY
KIMISHAY: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: it has to come in a big naan bread and have mango chutney and yoghurt sauce
You: cooked over coals in a tikka style marinade
You: there are none, I swear.
You: jelp me KIMISHAY, you're my only hope
You: not jelp, help!
KIMISHAY: ok
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide ...
Status: Guide not located.

Almost Yearly

Who are these poor souls? Well, I suppose they're better off than most call centre chaps. I'm trying to imagine the set-up from this...
Quote from: "somethingawful"You: has anyone ever asked you do find them lesbian porn?

JasonK: I've never been quick enough to accept the search.


DawnF: Hello.
You: Hello Dawn
DawnF: What kind of information on elephant art are you seeking?
You: I'm trying to find paintings by elephants.
DawnF: Okay...one moment while I search for you.
You: I've seen elephants paint quite nicely, though clearly only some have the bent.
DawnF: Some of them are quite beautiful.
You: You know it baby.
DawnF: Check out the sites that I have sent.
You: Sent where chuckie pie?
You: Oh there, thankyou Dawn and good night.
You: Do I get to rape you now?
...

http://www.elephantartgallery.com/paintings/
http://www.elephantart.us/art_preview.htm

Jeez, look at this one:



Sorry, slight tangent.

Hey, did I accidentally Ctrl-D or have they saved themselves to my Favourites, the cheeky cunts?

Pseudopath

Quote from: "Eight Taiwanese Teenagers"As per usual, no one can answer the question "where can I get a Manchester style "indian kebab" in north london?".
Grab a train to Banbury and go to Deens Pizza on George Street. Comes wrapped in a nice big naan with chiili and tahini sauce, but I'm sure they'd do mango and yoghurt if you ask (they do share kitchens with the curry house next door).

Thanks for searching CaBCaB. Please rape me.

Man, this is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

Bernard

Yes, things often seem that way when you're drunk.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LisaL
LisaL: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: Hello Lisa. How are you today?
You: I want to buy a gun
LisaL: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: cool
LisaL: What type are you looking for?
You: so I was thinking of getting an some sort of automatic assult rifle. Like what the army uses.
LisaL: Have you seen the new blow guns they are cool
You: A blow gun? They sound kinky.
LisaL: No
LisaL: It's not
You: Ha. Anyway I want a real gun. One that fires bullets and stuff.
You: Any ideas?
LisaL: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!
You: I want one with an M203 grenade launcher attached to it. For hunting.
LisaL: ok
You: And maybe shooting at passing cop cars.
You: joke
You: Do they ship to the UK?
LisaL: don't know you will have to read the sites
You: Is it legal to buy an automatic rifle with and underslug grenade launcher?
You: * underslung
LisaL: don't know
You: Okay that looks interesting.
LisaL: Are these results sufficient?
LisaL: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Kinda. I also want to find if I can by a .50cal Browning machine gun to attach to my car.
You: and maybe a flame thrower to kill squirrels with.
LisaL: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I'm finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: This is all for home defense. Praise Allah
You: Also could you see if you can find George Bush's itinerary for the next few months and how well protected he is.
LisaL: That is not nice
LisaL: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Ummm could you find out if it is legal for a flame thrower to be shipped from the US to the UK?
You: These squirrels are rather annoying me.
LisaL: No we only find sites not information
You: okay then.
You: Bye
LisaL: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
You: DEATH TO AMERICA!!
LisaL: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

I've got into a conversation with "Donald" and he shows no signs of going away!

Oh, he stopped!

You: I need really SCARY images for a website
You: Like ones of dogs that are attacking, or of evil clowns or ducks
You: I'm scared of ducks
You: Can you help with images?
DonaldD: What do you need for it
You: scary stuff
You: search for stuff that scares you
You: do they pay you for this?
DonaldD: Ok sure one moment while I get that for you
DonaldD: Yes they do
You: is the money good? I need a job
DonaldD: Its mad money for me
You: Mad? Does mad mean good?
DonaldD: Yeah
You: Cool! It's Christmas soon, you can buy lots of shit!
DonaldD: Yeah it will
You: Buy me stuff, I have no friends
You: I didnt even get a card last year
You: Someone set my house on fire
DonaldD: Ill send you some of mine from last year
You: Do you have friends?
You: In the cards write, "To the wonderful Cathy" and put lots of kisses
DonaldD: Yeah afew
You: You're so lucky
You: I wish I had friends
You: I have a towel
You: It's pink
You: Smells funny
DonaldD: Haha
You: It's going a bit green
You: I thought I'd hang it up and put lights on it
You: It could be a Christmas tree
You: I'm not scared of all animals
You: Just ducks
You: They're really violent, don't you think?
DonaldD: Ok let me see what I can find on that once
DonaldD: Nah just give them a kick
You: Haha! I'm too scared to kick them in case they have my leg off
You: Are you scared of any animals?
DonaldD: Not really
You: What are yo scared of?
You: Clowns? Everyone hates clowns
DonaldD: Nah I got a evil clown tattoo
You: Oh no!
You: And here I was, falling in love with you!
DonaldD: Hahahaha
You: If you get a tattoo with "I HATE DUCKS" on it, then I'll reconsider
You: Your silence hurts
DonaldD: Are these results sufficient?
You: Yeah, I like to know about evil ducks
You: I'll set them on people
You: Enjoy your money and your nice Christmas!
DonaldD: Ok have a good one
You: I'm going to kill a duck
You: And clown
DonaldD: Take one out for me
DonaldD: Later
DonaldD: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
You: *wave*
DonaldD: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

The chat with Brian and the Normal kid on Somethingawful is excellent!

Huzzie

Quote from: "hencole"I can see the womens magazine front covers in a few months time.

'I met the love of my life...Working for Chacha.'


Well, it will be in the Tameside Advertiser next thursday. Her name was Rita and she helped me search for "cheap and easy ways to copy dogs"

I think she might be the one!

Huzzie

How the fuck do you get a job with this company?

Working from home, laughing at messages from cunts like you lot! Sweeeeet!!

Huzzie

Oh! They don't like it when you tell them "You've made a very powerful enemy today Thomas". The wanker banned me! But I was waiting for over 5 minutes for him to find a link to somewhere on his own site where I can send in a CV or apply for a job.

His name was Tommy G and I have a feeling that isn't his real name, he just really, really likes Rocky.

EDIT: Not been banned, page just had a trouble loading up.

Bernard

Or tommy guns.

Or tommy girl perfume.