Twenty-One Words At Christmas

[TJ]

You know the rules by now, but in case you don't - each post must contain exactly twenty one words continuing the story. Which begins...

Father Christmas took one last look at his infamous list; "now let me see... who's been naughty, and who's been nice?".

[Neville Chamberlain]

He scanned the names, one by one, "Hmmm, Ciaràn - nice; Purple - naughty; Boing - very very very naughty; Jim - very nice indeed..."

[butnut]

And he thought to himself "Who is the special one this year? The one that I'll visit dressed in women's clothing?"

[Jemble Fred]

He lit up his pipe and puffed away awhile before announcing, "Actually, fuck it. This year I'm just going to ACAPULCO!"

[I wish you better luck than this one had: http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=5934&highlight=xmas]

[butnut]

"Or," mused Santa, "I could pay Jemble Scrooge a visit. Cheer him up with the ghost of comedy past, and then..."

[gazzyk1ns]

...Whisk him away with the ghost of comedy to come, where he has given in and is producing Blunder series nine."

[Jemble Fred]

So off he trekked, with his friends the Yuletide Fairy, Kris Kringle, Rudolph, Gromit and Ben E King, to the loneliest

[the midnight watch baboon]

Believing any publicity is good, Gervais's and ELW10's toasted nuts  tasted sweet as they spooned this Christmas. Oh, irony upon irony!

[Jemble Fred]

Eh?

[the midnight watch baboon]

Ask Run DMC, BDP, NWA, PE, Cube, Snoop, my doctor, Jesus, God, KRS-ONE and some other cretins what I mean please.

[butnut]

After worrying over his sanity, Santa realised TMWB was the clumsiest poster known, so it was no surprise that he fucked

[mook]

...up a simple little internet game, no doubt he will blame his sofa fucked wrist. Anyway on with the story folks

[the midnight watch baboon]

It was my broken bone's fault! Neurological transmissions only prosper creatively with the cogent work of two fully operational hands. Bastards.

[butnut]

Santa had had enough of this. He called up Rudolf Hess, the Nazi Reindeer and they went to TMWB's house to

[the midnight watch baboon]

Hooray, figureheads to share my rubbish posts, deleterious behaviour and syndrome L'Asperger's with..my Chrimbo Port 'n' Twiglets already smell great :o)

[butnut]

"FUCK THIS" cried Santa, as he and Rudolf took their sledgehammers and started beating TMWB's brains in. Soon, only a messy

[ffogems]

all-shook-up festive themed laquer could put their anger in abeyance, which they both shared over the brow-beaten corpse.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Owwwww! ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow. Cunts. Merry Christmas to you too!

[the midnight watch baboon]

bollocks to me

[butnut]

Santa and Rudolf were feeling very pleased with their handywork. So they decided to celebrate with a fancy dinner. But as

[domesticgoddess]

their cupboard was as bare as Mother Hubbard's, they had no choice but to choose one of the other reindeer to

[gazzyk1ns]

pop down to Tesco. Unfortunately, they chose Blitzen (Rudolf's favourite, for obvious reasons), whose mother always shopped at Sainsbury's, and so

[butnut]

some decisions were needed. Santa drew up a twelve person committee, who would report back no later than nine months after

[the midnight watch baboon]

they prepared  to rub shoulders with 3-ply buying vicars. But it's Christmas, and with tmwb finally understanding how this thread works

[Des Nilsen]

but like I said, it's christmas, and we'll soon have a bag of nuts. As grandma always says. I always laugh.

[gazzyk1ns]

they prepared  to rub shoulders with 3-ply buying vicars. But it's Christmas, and with tmwb finally understanding how this thread works

, all was well. With the committee still arguing about supermarkets, it was decided that their turkey and trimmings would have to

[Mister Cairo]

be tested for poison by a committee of expendable people, just in case that doe-eyed shit Putin had sneaked in and

[butnut]

decided that Santa's monopoly on present delivery was no good for the Russian economy. Putin's own state-owned delivery system was

[Mister Cairo]

decorated with tinsel in order to cheer up Pooty Poot, which some people claim is George Bush's nickname for the

[butnut]

96% of the world's population who are not American. The Whitehouse has denied these claims, saying only that "The President can