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Richard Littlejohn charms the world again

Started by 23 Daves, December 20, 2006, 02:19:37 PM

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Mr. Analytical

Quote from: Nyarrrrrrrrrlathotep on July 11, 2007, 01:45:27 PM
Except it fucking doesn't, does it you tard? Saying "x=y" 400 times doesn't actually make x equal y.

  Except I'm not saying x=y.

  I'm saying that there's a strong statistical correlation between incidents of X and incidents of y.

  One's a mathematical statement of identity and the other isn't.

Mr. Analytical

Quote from: Clinton Morgan on July 11, 2007, 02:20:03 PM
An anti-semite could possibly say something about Palestine but in all fairness he or she most likely does not give a damn and is looking for an excuse to justify their bigotry.

  This is a common practice amongst radical Muslims.  Do Muslims really give a shit about the Queen's Honours list?  of course not but if something gets given to Rushdie then it's more grist for the mill!  Same with the Danish cartoons which not only had a number of obscene ones not included in the original publication added for the purposes of distribution in mosques and chat rooms but weird interpretations were put on them including the idea that one of them claimed that Mohammed was a blind man.

  It's the same thing with the Saudis and Iran.  If either of them wanted, their oil money could feed, house and clothe every single Palestinian currently living in a bombed out building or shanty town but do they do that?  of course not... but when people aren't happy about the lack of democracy you can rent a mob to protest western treatment of Palestinians and allow everyone to blow off some steam.

  The Palestinians are the political footballs of the Arab world.  No Arab government gives a flying fuck about them, except when they're looking for a stick with which to beat the West or the Israelis.

Still Not George

There is also a direct statistical correlation between a) breathing people and b) serial killers, but that doesn't mean there's a specific connection between breathing and serial killing. You're suggesting that if Set A largely intersects Set B, then being in Set B means you're ipso facto in Set A, or at the very least sympathetic to it. This is Not The Fucking Case. I notice you refused entirely to respond to that simple reality earlier on.

Still Not George

Quote from: Mr. Analytical on July 11, 2007, 02:34:51 PMIt's the same thing with the Saudis and Iran.  If either of them wanted, their oil money could feed, house and clothe every single Palestinian currently living in a bombed out building or shanty town but do they do that?  of course not...
Hold on, what? How would they go about doing that? It's not as if they could give the money to Israel, and if they gave it to the Palestinians' political leaders they'd immediately be accused of funding terrorism.

Mr. Analytical

Quote from: Nyarrrrrrrrrlathotep on July 11, 2007, 02:45:50 PM
Hold on, what? How would they go about doing that? It's not as if they could give the money to Israel, and if they gave it to the Palestinians' political leaders they'd immediately be accused of funding terrorism.

  If you guaranteed any Palestinian that wanted it a Saudi Passport and a place of their own then a sizeable chunk of Palestinians would take up the offer for a quiet life in a friendly Arab country.  Given the amount of noise the Arab world make about the Palestinians you'd think that this would be an almost universal policy.  Strangely it isn't.

Still Not George

Quote from: Mr. Analytical on July 11, 2007, 02:51:22 PMIf you guaranteed any Palestinian that wanted it a Saudi Passport and a place of their own then a sizeable chunk of Palestinians would take up the offer for a quiet life in a friendly Arab country.  Given the amount of noise the Arab world make about the Palestinians you'd think that this would be an almost universal policy.  Strangely it isn't.
Yeah, it's really strange that the people who make so much noise about the Palestinians being allowed to live in the land they've claimed as theirs for centuries wouldn't try to move them out of it. You're grasping at straws now...

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Mr. Analytical on July 11, 2007, 01:15:45 PM

  People who identify as anti-Zionist are either bigots or they're members of the politically naive who think that the nice guys with beards who opposed the war in Iraq on the march probably don't have hideous beliefs of their own that they're trying to push into the mainstream.

No we're not. Stupid argument. I'm one of those people, you see, so the mud-slinging and straw man arguments are worse than pointless. I marched with Muslims on the anti-war demos because I have common cause with them, on this particular issue. Doesn't mean I'm always going to support them, doesn't mean I'm a fan of everything Hezbollah and Hamas do, but it means I'm against the war in Iraq, so are they, so we marched together. Why is that so difficulut for you to understand?

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on July 11, 2007, 04:10:19 PM
No we're not. Stupid argument. I'm one of those people, you see, so the mud-slinging and straw man arguments are worse than pointless. I marched with Muslims on the anti-war demos because I have common cause with them, on this particular issue. Doesn't mean I'm always going to support them, doesn't mean I'm a fan of everything Hezbollah and Hamas do, but it means I'm against the war in Iraq, so are they, so we marched together. Why is that so difficulut for you to understand?

The old my enemy's enemy is my friend eh? Lots of Muslims and non-Muslims were against the war with Iraq, but that is a separate issue to Hamas and Hezbollah. In regards to the pictures of supposed liberals holding up placards saying 'We Are All Hezbollah Now' (i'm not suggesting that you did this) surely you can see that supposed Left wing people supporting extremist militant groups that claim to represent either the Lebanese or Palestinians who are both Islamist groups who I suspect would be against a lot of things that liberals tend to hold dear like secularism, freedom of religion, gay rights etc.

You can be against things that Hamas and Hezbollah are against, without grouping your self with such groups. The enemies of Hamas are as much the Jews/Israelis/Zionists as they are nationalist Palestinians like Fatah and secular left wingers in the occupied territories .

You can be left wing/liberal/socialist and oppose Israeli actions against Palestinians and Lebanon with out aligning yourself with right wing/illiberal/religious extremist groups - who claim to represent all Palestinians/Muslims but don't - that also happen to share the same views on some things although for probably different reasons.

Santa's Boyfriend

Littlejohn Vs Will Self, both plugging their books on the same programme:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1390395.stm

My favourite bit:

QuoteCAMPBELL: Neither did I get a chance to read yours Richard but that's not to say that I won't. But what do you make of what David Aaronovitch has said? It is front page in the Independent. He says Richard Littlejohn's novel is a 400-page recruiting pamphlet for the BNP.

LITTLEJOHN: What else do you expect from an overgrown student union leader who used to be a member of the Communist Party? I think it is a badge of honour to be attacked by people like David Aaronovitch to be perfectly honest. I might put it on the cover.

SELF: Well he is right.

LITTLEJOHN: Is he?

SELF: It is a 400 page... I've read 200 pages of it and that is a 200 page recruiting leaflet for the BNP.

LITTLEJOHN: Well, you can't comment until you have read the other 200.

SELF: Why? Does it suddenly turn into Tolstoy?

LITTLEJOHN: You'll have to read it and find out, won't you.

SELF: Well it won't take me long.

[snip]

CAMPBELL: You are rather pleased about [the fuss over the book being full of negative sterotypes]?

LITTLEJOHN: I am absolutely delighted. The main villains of the piece actually are two white middle-class lawyers and policemen.

SELF: Wait a minute, the solicitor is dubbed as being part of an entry-ist plan by left-wing Islingtonians who kind of submerge themselves - one of them becomes a policeman who incidentally is graphically depicted masturbating with a truncheon - and the other one is a gay lawyer who runs a left-wing - a kind of firm that actually is vaguely impossible - that operates out of the Gray's Inn Road. I have read your book Richard, I do wish you would stop saying that I haven't. I have read 200 pages, I read them quite closely.

LITTLEJOHN: But you haven't read the book in its totality and you have to read the book in its totality.

SELF: Why?

LITTLEJOHN: In order to understand it.

SELF: Does it turn into Tolstoy at page 205?

LITTLEJOHN: No it doesn't turn into Tolstoy. I don't set out to be Tolstoy. It is a much more complex book than that.

SELF:Than Tolstoy?

Still Not George


Al Tha Funkee Homosapien


Mr. Analytical

Quote from: Nyarrrrrrrrrlathotep on July 11, 2007, 02:57:03 PM
Yeah, it's really strange that the people who make so much noise about the Palestinians being allowed to live in the land they've claimed as theirs for centuries wouldn't try to move them out of it. You're grasping at straws now...

  I don't think I am.  The fact that the Arab world use the Palestinian issue as a release valve for their own internal problems with Islamic militancy is established fact.  Look at Pakistan... A minister makes a statement condemning the British decision to honour Rushdie and hey- presto, a couple of weeks later they're wading knee-deep through dead women and kids in a mosque.

  If they really were upset about the treatment of Palestinians they would have put their money and influence where their mouth is by now.  As for Palestinians living in the own homeland, a sizable chunk of them are living in refugee camps.  Those people could have been offered citizenship elsewhere and a lot of Palestinians would have taken it, because for all the need to live in one's homeland I suspect that many Palestinians would jump at the chance to live a quiet life where they're free to live without fear and make money without being caught in the middle of what looks like a civil war between two armed gangs.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

But what if those Palestinians don't want live in Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi Arabia or even Pakistan (which is a stupid idea, it's a totally different culture to Arab cultures)? Surely that's about as valid as saying that since the US supports Israel they should offer all the Israeli Jews US citizenship and get them to live in the middle of Buttfuck Alabama.

Still Not George

Congratulations, Mr A - you've taken the art of Missing The Fucking Point to a new height.

the ruffian on the stair

I love Littlejohn. I created a radio talkshow host called Harper who plays a trick on Littlejohn. Some of its a bit crap but there are few phrases that are amusing.


SKETCH

DAVE HARPER'S INTERNET  RADIO SHOW

INTERNET RADIO TALK SHOW WITH GUESTS (NOT SEEN OR HEARD)

DAVE HARPER:

Now a subject that always generates concern, the Internet. Is it safe to advertise your personal profile on the Internet? And could sharing your holiday snaps, photographs and personal details Online make you vulnerable to prowling cyber-sickos?  I wanted to find out for myself so I, with the help of our IT-man, Mark, set up an account at the popular Web site MySpace.com. However being a well-known much-loved radio personality I decided, for the sake of impartiality, not to use my real name for this experiment. So Mark and I put our heads together to try and come up with up a good pseudonym for MySpace.com. We couldn't agree on a name so we chose a name between us. I picked 'Richard' and Mark picked 'Littlejohn'. There was a copy of The Daily Mail in the bin (the cleaners bring it in) so we looked through the paper for a suitable photograph for the Web page. As we'd wasted so much time debating the pseudonym we decided to limit the picture-search to the Richard Littlejohn column. Immediately we saw we had a problem. Would people mistake our Richard Littlejohn for The Daily Mail's self-appointed cockney magistrate? To protect ourselves from the threat of libel action we thought it best to make our fictitious MySpace profile very different from that of Fleet Street's malevolent Mullah. Mark the IT-man suggested ticking "gay" in Orientation Box but I said: 'No, Mark, saying someone is gay isn't funny...so let's sign our Rich Littlejohn up as a mature swinger with an interest in infantilism and potty-training. Now, that's much funnier' I said. And to make the differences between the two Littlejohns stand out even more in the box 'Who Would You Like To Me?' we checked the box 'People From All Parts of the World'; now no one could confuse our fictitious, cosmopolitan Richard Littlejohn with the Daily Mail's loathsome poison-peddler. Now we wait to see what kind of friends this experiment brings...

THE END



Saul

There is no link whatsoever between anti-Zionism and antisemitism. In actual fact, hard-core antisemites are often very pro-Zionist. Arthur Balfour (author of the Balfour Declaration of 1917 establishing a Jewish homeland in Palestine, and indirectly leading to the State of Israel) was certainly not an anti-Zionist. But he was an antisemite, which was why, in 1905, he sponsored the Aliens Act in order to curb Jewish immigration to Britain.

Similarly, the American Christian Right is very pro-Zionist and very and antisemitic. For example the late Reverend Jerry Falwell claimed that the Anti-Christ was a currently living Jewish man (a deeply antisemitic statement). But that didn't stop Abraham Foxman, the nation director of the Anti-Defamation League (an American Zionist organisation that pretends to be a civil rights organisation) from calling him a "dear friend of Israel."

Silvio Berlusconi, former prime minister of Italy claimed that Benito Mussolini's dictatorship "was a much more benign dictatorship [compared to that of Saddam Hussein]. Mussolini did not murder anyone. Mussolini sent people on holiday to internal exile." I hope I don't need to explain why that makes him an antisemite. What does Foxman have to say about Berlusconi? He calls him a "good friend of Israel" and the ADL gave him their Distinguished Statesman Award.

So what if you can find a few antisemites who happen to be anti-Israel, there are dozens more who are pro-Zionist. And there are enormous numbers of Jews who are very anti-Zionist.

The whole idea of a two state solution is a profoundly racist idea because it assumes that Jews and Arabs can never live in peace with each other. Look at South Africa, the whites and the blacks didn't divide the country into a white only nation and a black only nation. They dismantled Apartheid and created a state for all its citizens whether white or black. That is also the only solution to the problem of the Apartheid State of Israel, one state for everyone in the land whether they be Arab of Jewish.

The antiwar protesters who carried pro-Hizbollah placards were absolutely right to do so. Israel launched a massive unprovoked terrorist attack upon Lebanon, and Hizbollah was the only organisation both able and willing to defend the people of Lebanon from the Zionists. Which is why their military actions were supported not just by the majority of Lebanese Shia Muslims, but also by the majority of Lebanese Sunni Muslims, and even by the majority of Lebanese Christians.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

It wasn't unprovoked though was it. Israel and Hizbollah had been fighting a small scale war ever since Israel pulled out from Lebanon in 2000. The kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers was a chance for a mis-guided and unrealistic but not totally unjustified attempt to stop Hizbollah from sporadically attacking Israel. Surely you can oppose the invasion by Israel and destruction of Southern Lebanon without siding with right-wing Islamist groups like Hizbollah.

Still Not George

Quote from: Al Tha Funkee Homosapien on July 15, 2007, 03:00:16 PMThe kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers was a chance for a mis-guided and unrealistic but not totally unjustified attempt to stop Hizbollah from sporadically attacking Israel.

Or, from another perspective, the capture of two incursing Israeli soldiers on Lebanese soil by the main authorities in that area was used as the dubious pretext for a massive punitive strike to demonstrate to Iran the immense firepower the Israelis have available - which, of course, backfired hugely on both military and public relations levels.

Famous Mortimer

The sheer difference in scale is surely enough to put the "well, it's a justified retaliation" argument to bed, surely? Hizbollah has a small group of fighters with guns, Israel has helicopters, tanks, fighter jets and missiles of all sorts (including nuclear). Totally agree with Nyarrrrrr... above.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Hizbullah is not just 'a small group of fighters with guns'. They have 1000s of fighters, rockets, anti-aircraft missiles, anti-tank missiles, anti-ship missiles, a huge and complex bunker network. Now when I said Israel was justified to retaliate in some form I was responding to Saul's assertation that the attack on Southern Lebanon was 'unprovoked' which is bollocks. I didn't agree with the invasion, and my dad spoke to some Lebanese doctor's at a conference who said that most of Southern Lebanon was totalled, and apparently now littered with unexploded munitions. But don't try and paint Hizbullah as some hill billy group of poorly trained fighters. They are a highly trained, well armed and well funded resistance/terrorist/freedom fighter/dirty freedom hater/ organization [delete as bias requires].