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The Worst Record Ever?

Started by Ciarán2, January 07, 2007, 11:39:14 PM

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Ciarán2

I like them too. Cor, this thread is backfiring. All my favourites being mentioned! "Hangman's Beautiful Daughter" is good because of its hippy-dippiness isn't it?

Egyptian Feast

Quote from: "Ciarán"I never did buy "Orbvs Terrarvm", and now I can't find it anywhere! I'd say I'd like it...

That's a great album, Ciarán, very unfairly maligned. I hope you find a copy, but I must say it's better on cassette or vinyl, because a couple of tracks were artlessly snipped to fit it onto CD. The edits spoil the transitions to a couple of tracks and the slug-eating climax to the closing track 'Slug Dub' is missing, thus spoiling the story. There was a reissue sometime in the late 90s, but I doubt the edited material was reinstated, since the original CD runs to 78 minutes.

The follow-up album Orblivion is also fantastic. 'S.A.L.T.', which samples David Thewlis' wormwood speech from Naked, is the scariest track they ever did.

I haven't heard any of the subsequent albums, are they worth picking up?

Hypodeemic Nerdle

Quote from: "23 Daves"Other than that, I have to be deathly predictable and say that the worst album I've probably ever heard (but don't own) is Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".  I borrowed it off a friend, and it's unbearable.  It's utterly impossible to listen to, though I do know people who claim to be "into" it.
They probably are.  I am, but I only need to hear one side at a time.
QuoteYou'd get more melody out of turning the hoover and the electronic whisk on simultaneously and changing their speeds around gradually, and at least by doing that you'd be involved in the "creative process" rather than being an unwilling listener.
Melody isn't the point.  Pinning the listener to the frickin' wall is.  There's been much noisier records made since, most of them Japanese.

Egyptian Feast

Quote from: "23 Daves"
Other than that, I have to be deathly predictable and say that the worst album I've probably ever heard (but don't own) is Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".  I borrowed it off a friend, and it's unbearable.  It's utterly impossible to listen to, though I do know people who claim to be "into" it.

Quote from: "Lester Bangs"As of this writing, it looks like MMM is gonna be a heavyweight contender in our Creem Readers' Poll categories, both of 'Disappointment Of The Year' and 'Rip-off Of The Year'. Then again, every once in a while a ballot rolls in like that from one Carole Pressler of Rocky River, Ohio, who not only voted MMM as all three of the the Top Albums of 1975, but voted for sides A and D as Top Two Singles of the year, and side B as Best Rhythm & Blues Single.

I must say, although I couldn't listen to more than a side at a time, I do like Metal Machine Music. I completely understand why anyone would call it the worst album of all time, but there are a lot of other records I find more unlistenable. I like sticking it on for friends occasionally, because a lot of people have heard of it, but few have actually listened to any of it. I find it gets less negative reactions than Royal Trux's Twin Infinitives, but I don't know anybody else who can listen to more than 10 minutes of it.

I actually have it on my iPod, but after an incident where it came on when I was listening at full-blast on the tube, I removed it from shuffle.

lipsink

Commemoration and Amnesia by Patrick Jones was pretty awful when I heard it:

Heard it when I was working in a music shop when it came out. Thank God I didn't buy it. Patrick Jones, poet and brother of Nicky Wire from Manics reads poetry over various instrumentals provided by a some indie/dance bands. Just doesn't work at all. Jones did some great (probably because they're short, mind you) intros to a few songs on Generation Terrorists. But stretching to a whole fucking album really is pushing it a bit. I vaguely remember the first song had a Massive Attack sound with Jones shouting out of time in a distorted voice and at one point says: "What time is Home and away on?"
Dear God.

Roy*Mallard

Pomme Fritz is a big fave with me too.  Ok, it is completely different to their first 2 albums, but  i can't understand why even the most casual Orb fan would turn there nose up at it.

I remember it wasn't too popular on its release (fuck, 13 years ago!!!!!!!). In fact the small, in the middle of nowhere, secondhand record store i worked in at the time got a (used) copy in on the day of release! but even still.....the opener is a delight and the strangeness of the thing in general is worth sticking with.

Phillistines!!

TC Raymond

I think 'The Beach Boys Love You' still signifies some kind of apex (or nadir) of drug-addled, can't-be-bothered, any-old-shite-will-do bollocks.

Sample lyrics...
"If Mars had life on it, I might find my wife on it".

Yes Brian, now get out of bed you lazy scrote.

Paaaaul

[banned troll], EH???!!!
Some of the lyrics on ...Love You are pretty childish, but  Good Time, I'll Bet He's Nice and I Wanna Pick You Up are all absolute smashes.

15 Big Ones
Keeping The Summer Alive
The Beach Boys
Summer In Paradise
Stars And Stripes

are all Beach Boys albums not fit to lick the dirty shoes of ...Love You.

Famous Mortimer

I like "Metal Machine Music" too. A couple of years ago, I probably played it 2 or 3 times a week to the point I could probably have told you what side was on if I was dropped onto it at random. Not now though. I honestly don't know why I like it so much.

One of the early-mid-80s Gang of Four or Violent Femmes records would get it for me. Both bands that made awesome first records then carried on, without realising that first album had pretty much robbed them of all their good ideas. By their later albums, it was a truly painful listening experience.

buttgammon

Quote from: "Famous Mortimer"I like "Metal Machine Music" too. A couple of years ago, I probably played it 2 or 3 times a week to the point I could probably have told you what side was on if I was dropped onto it at random. Not now though. I honestly don't know why I like it so much.

One of the early-mid-80s Gang of Four or Violent Femmes records would get it for me. Both bands that made awesome first records then carried on, without realising that first album had pretty much robbed them of all their good ideas. By their later albums, it was a truly painful listening experience.

I'd agree with that. I'm another fan of Metal Machine Music. Lou Reed may have just done it to piss people off, but to make such a bold statement through something which is superficially just white noise is actually very interesting.

As for bands like Gang of Four who made some wonderful music and then a big pile of shit afterwards, that is probably what makes the worst music for me. If there's a band you really like who lose their direction a bit and end up making something terrible. I can accept the music of artists I dislike or who are generally accepted as being crap, but when a good band makes a bad record, that is truly awful.

Huzzie

Quote from: "Egyptian Feast"Thanks for that, NoSleep! I've always wanted to hear some Blue Cheer, but never got around to it. After reading that interview, I'm desperate to get some of their stuff. Noise and stupidity is an irresistible combination.

Their version of Summertime Blues is just brilliant!

spraticus

anything by the extraordinarily dull but shouty ballad songters "Cock Robin" - imagine Chris DeBurgh with a ponytail and a long coat and keyboards everywhere - big in France, apparently - a few choice clips on youtube to illustrate the point

is there a thread for bad band names? my all time favourite has to be the keyboard player from Genesis Tony Banks' band... his solo project was called Bankstatement

thewomb

Quote from: "ccbaxter"
Quote from: "Ray Le Otter"The Manics "Know Your Enemy is a waste of space as well, for many reasons, fake posturing and middle aged "punk". Blurgh.

Hm, think this one's a much-unfairly-maligned album - and while there may be two, three, "punky" stabs, plenty of the album is rather lovely and warm in sound, if snippy in lyrics. Nicky Wire's painful lead vocal aside.

'Know Your Enemy' is the best Manics album - pisses over the self-abusive wank of The Holy Bible.

'Mr Brightside' by The Killers and 'Pure Morning' by Placebo are the two worst songs ever, but I can't decide which is worse.

Identity Crisis Ahoy!

I think it's pretty obvious that the worst piece of music ever recorded is Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

niat

Quote from: "Identity Crisis Ahoy!"I think it's pretty obvious that the worst piece of music ever recorded is Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

It's certainly the hardest one to play in Guitar Hero II.

P.S. Franz Ferdinand's Do You Want To is clearly the worst song ever.

Identity Crisis Ahoy!

Those two facts are related, I will admit.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: "Egyptian Feast"
Quote from: "Ciarán"I never did buy "Orbvs Terrarvm", and now I can't find it anywhere! I'd say I'd like it...

That's a great album, Ciarán, very unfairly maligned. I hope you find a copy, but I must say it's better on cassette or vinyl, because a couple of tracks were artlessly snipped to fit it onto CD. The edits spoil the transitions to a couple of tracks and the slug-eating climax to the closing track 'Slug Dub' is missing, thus spoiling the story. There was a reissue sometime in the late 90s, but I doubt the edited material was reinstated, since the original CD runs to 78 minutes.

The follow-up album Orblivion is also fantastic. 'S.A.L.T.', which samples David Thewlis' wormwood speech from Naked, is the scariest track they ever did.

I haven't heard any of the subsequent albums, are they worth picking up?

Oh yes. Cydonia is superb, even though it was critically panned. Bicycles & Tricycles has good stand-out tracks but it's less consistent in style, and their latest album Okie Dokie is much different to anything they've done- but it's got a unique feel and the production is easily the best handled since Orbvs Terrarum.

the midnight watch baboon

'Don't Fear the Reaper' is a horrible slice of wank pie that unites every 40+ single bloke into half-hearted lyric mumbling and head-nodding in any jukebox-toting boozer.

Quote from: "the midnight watch baboon"'Don't Fear the Reaper' is a horrible slice of wank pie that unites every 40+ single bloke into half-hearted lyric mumbling and head-nodding in any jukebox-toting boozer.

But it's hard to listen to that song without picturing Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live going apeshit with a cowbell.

Assuming you've seen that Blue Oyster Cult sketch, that is.

Erm, yeah, anyway as you were.

That sketch really made me laugh.  Christopher Walken is great.

zonko

Quote from: "thewomb"

'Know Your Enemy' is the best Manics album - pisses over the self-abusive wank of The Holy Bible.
HOGWASH!!!

dr beat

My new worst ever song - that single by the incredibly-hyped The Twang.

Go away The Twang. (Crap band name too).

TC Raymond

Quote from: NoSleep on January 08, 2007, 11:01:38 PM
It's got to be something by Blue Cheer... a more ugly, brutal and stupid band I can't think of (offhand).

The only positive thing I can say about Blue Cheer is that the 1960s underground cartoonist John Thomson (as opposed to the Fast Show actor) says he has a warm memory of R.Crumb, smashed on LSD, dancing under the strobe lights to 'Doctor Please'.

drberbatov

Weezer - Make Believe

a terrible, terrible record

TC Raymond

And who can forget 'One Night In Bangkok' by Murray Head?

Oh. Most of you have. Oh well...

The Mumbler

Great tune, though. As you'd expect from Messrs Ulvaeus and Andersson.

The worst record is surely something by someone who's usually brilliant. Stevie Wonder's I Just Called to Say I Love You is probably up/down there.

TC Raymond

Quote from: The Mumbler on August 21, 2007, 12:39:16 PM
Great tune, though. As you'd expect from Messrs Ulvaeus and Andersson.

Oh yeah, I'll give you that. It's just Tim Rice's arsy, faux-ironic lyrics ("Get Thai'd" must be an absolute low point, even for him) and the synthetic, vocodered vocal that make it horrible for me.

The Mumbler

Surely not the worst record then?

Neville Chamberlain

The worst record ever is that stupid song American Pie. American Pants more like.

Canted_Angle

A lot of that modern mtv R'n'B shite could be in the running but i dont spend my time around it to narrow it down to one song.

There is one where the guy goes 'sooo sooo sooo sooo, sick of love songs' or something, that really grinds my gears.